This returned from the darkness.
This thought it would only be a short time.
It was not.
Although This tried, since it had followed that urge, it had been stuck within the darkness.
In the darkness, the place This had assumed to be its Mindscape, This could not move things like before.
But it could still feel.
This had felt everything. From the moment This was moved until now, as it lay wrapped inside something warm.
The storm of memories from earlier still hadn't settled inside This, but within the Mindscape, This had time, and slowly went through each memory.
In Sansa's memories, the upright shapes were often called "people." This understood now that "people" and "humans" pointed to the same thing. The loud, moving things that This had moved away from before.
This had also begun to understand more about itself, more specifically, what Sansa called the "body."
It had eyes, the parts that let in light. It had hands, the gripping extensions that could tighten and soften. It had feet, the lower parts that had carried This through the white covering.
These names and pieces had surfaced after a long while of going through a tangled mess of memories.
As This turned the fragments over and over again, a clearer realization slowly took shape.
This was not Sansa.
Instead, This was inside Sansa's body.
The memories it had gone through belonged to the person called Sansa Stark. A girl with a family who lived in a place called Winterfell.
But This was something else. Something that had been pulled from the darkness and forced into her.
And for now, there was no way to leave.
Slowly, This opened its new, sticky eyes. Multiple shapes formed in front of it. The first thing it noticed was two familiar humans.
In front of This was a human with reddish-brown hair. This was all it could make sense of from what it saw. Still, This instantly recognized the human.
Mother.
This wasn't sure how to feel; in the memories, this person was something very important to Sansa.
But This felt nothing.
Although This was curious.
Curious as to why she was so important.
Sansa seemed to think she was as important as This's 7,950,883,411 count.
Looking away from the thing in her hands, the human looked at This. As they made eye contact, she hastily stopped what she was doing and quickly moved toward This.
"Ah, Sansa! You're awake! Thank the gods. Here, honey, quickly, drink." The human spoke words in a tone This couldn't understand.
After sifting through so many memories in the Mindscape, This realized that humans had a way of communicating their thoughts with each other. This still didn't understand what many of their thoughts meant, but had come to understand a little of how they felt.
The woman seemed happy, although This didn't know why.
This only sat still as a shape was shoved near its face.
This did not know what to do.
The human kept pushing something near This, but This was unsure what was wanted.
"Sansa… don't be a child; you know this will help you. It's for the cold."
Sansa…
This clearly recognized the sound. Sansa.
It seemed the human was thinking of Sansa, not This.
This wanted to give Sansa's thoughts, but This did not know how.
What did Sansa want to say?
This waited.
This wanted Sansa to think, to speak how the humans did. But Sansa did not.
Seeing Sansa's awkward stance and lack of speech, Mother spoke up for a third time.
"Mordane, would you?"
"Of course, m'lady."
This watched as a larger-looking human quickly moved toward Sansa.
Briefly, This felt an urge to do something. Similar to what it had felt when it first moved. This didn't know what that something was.
Recalling the last time This listened to an urge, This hesitated. This didn't want to return to the darkness, nor move.
Regardless, This still gave in to its curiosity. The moment This stopped resisting, the head turned on its own.
This was now looking at a tall, unmoving thing. It stayed still. It did not move. This looked at it.
"Sansa, stop that. Turn back here." The larger human spoke.
This couldn't see, but understood the humans were speaking to Sansa again.
"Come now, my lady. It'll be quick."
This's head was suddenly held by the larger human's hand and moved against its will. This was now looking directly at the two humans.
This attempted to copy the earlier urge and, with surprising ease, moved away again.
This didn't understand the humans well, but it was beginning to understand the body. At the least, if the body had an urge, This could listen.
And the body would follow.
This could now look at the unmoving thing at any time.
The reddish-haired human, Mother, spoke again, this time louder. "Oh, for goodness' sake. Mordane, hold her head steady, please."
The large human moved closer. Both were now working together to keep Sansa still.
With its head forced in place, This watched silently as an unknown thing came closer and closer. This did not mind. If anything, This was curious why the body had that urge.
Does Sansa not like the humans?
This thought absently, until something was placed inside its mouth.
Instantly, a strong sense, unknown to This, exploded throughout its mouth.
This understood it instantly.
Disgust.
This hated it!
Somehow carried by the strong emotion of disgust, the word spurred into its mind.
The two humans suddenly spoke lightly. It was a familiar, happy tone that This had heard many times in Sansa's memories.
"Oh my, Sansa. Don't make such a terrible face. It will help you, dear, I promise."
The large human beside Mother also looked happy. "Quite the expression, my lady. But you'll feel better soon."
Letting go of This's head, Mother backed away slightly, moving back to the position This had found her in.
"Alright, that's good, but we still have a lot to talk about, young lady!"
"Why did you even go out alone like that? Have you gone mad? Mordane told me everything. How you refused to respond to her and ran away!" Mother kept speaking in a tone that seemed to be on the border between anger and sadness.
Listening quietly, This did its best to take in everything she said. Of course, This still could not understand any of it.
Mother continued for what This imagined would be 100 thoughts.
Eventually, she slowed down, took a heavy breath and looked deeply into This.
This paused; Mother had suddenly stopped speaking and was now looking deeply into its eyes.
This could not explain it.
But This felt… seen.
Something pressed gently against it, though nothing around it had changed. It felt almost familiar.
Disliking the feeling, This quickly shut its eyes. This did not know how it had controlled them so easily.
But right now, This felt… glad. Glad that it could.
Within the darkness, or perhaps the Mindscape, This could still feel Mother looking at it, but as it dove deeper into the darkness, the feeling slowly dimmed out completely.
This is good.
This, unbeknownst to itself, let out a loud, relaxed sigh.
"…"
This was glad.
Even with the humans here, This could still return to the darkness.
"…Are you ignoring me?"
This stared into the vast and bleak darkness.
This did not move and did not think.
This waited.
"Hah… Fine, we will talk when you're ready. But I expect an answer by tomorrow morning, young lady."
This continued to wait.
"…And finish your milk. I don't want to see a single drop when I'm back."
This kept waiting.
This waited until it could no longer hear Mother speak.
Within the darkness, This heard Mother and the larger human speak again, but it didn't feel directed toward This or Sansa.
Eventually, This heard a loud creaking sound, then a small click.
This waited silently for a moment longer before slowly opening its eyes; the humans were gone.
…
With the humans gone, This began to look around. The room was familiar to This; it was the place where a large portion of Sansa's memories were.
But This wasn't content with simply seeing; it wanted to do what Sansa often did: move.
This tried to recall the pull it had felt when it first arrived, how it had moved so quickly, but it couldn't.
Instead, This felt other, smaller urges.
Some made very small movements in its hands, while others made This very aware of its insides.
This spent time listening to each urge.
This enjoyed the process; it felt good. If This understood Sansa, or its body, better, This thought that maybe it could move on its own.
This didn't know what it would do once it could move, but for now, moving was enough.
Yet This was still curious about things it didn't have answers for.
Like the strange lines it had seen in the Mindscape. They were the only thing besides Sansa's memories that had given This a clear understanding.
This did its best to create answers, like where it came from or whether there was more it could understand. But the more This thought, the worse it moved its body.
Leaving its thoughts, This focused fully on every urge of its body and its movements.
After some time playing with its hands, eyes and feet, This got bored and entered its Mindscape, closing Sansa's eyes.
The darkness welcomed This.
Before This could begin, a bright shape appeared within it.
[Hidden Quest Unlocked!]
Determine what Mother truly is.
Like before, the meaning arrived all at once.
Mother…
This recalled the moment she had looked into its eyes. The gentle pressure. The strange familiarity.
This did not know what Mother was. Until now, it hadn't thought she could be anything other than a human.
The box lingered for a moment, then faded.
This instantly brought up the sounds it had heard when the two humans were near it.
Mother's words appeared within its thoughts.
All of them.
This started from the beginning.
"Ah, Sansa! You're awake! Thank the gods. Here, honey, quickly, drink."
This repeated the words many times.
Then moved to the next.
"Sansa… don't be a child; you know this will help you. It's for the cold."
This replayed it slower.
Then repeated it again.
This replayed all the words it could, over and over, often comparing the words humans spoke with those in Sansa's memories.
In a matter of minutes, This began to understand what humans called "speech."
This stayed in its Mindscape for a long time.
Replaying, listening and understanding.
When This finally opened its eyes again, it could understand more of the words Mother had spoken.
It seemed Mother wanted to know "why" This had moved. This wasn't sure it could tell Mother why, but it felt glad it could at least partly understand what Mother was saying.
This continued replaying the humans' words and sifting through each memory.
For This, thinking had only ever filled the nothing, but now thinking also let it understand.
In the back of its mind, a small thought appeared.
If it could.
This would learn everything.
* * *
I kept thinking about the same thing.
Sansa lying in the snow, with only her cloak to keep her warm.
The calm depth within her eyes when she looked at me.
The way she stared at me, like she knew something I didn't.
Perhaps I was being delusional. Still, it was an uncomfortable feeling.
I wanted to put it down to her being half asleep at the time, but my instincts wouldn't allow me to accept such flimsy reasoning.
Seeing my younger sister, whom I thought I knew, doing uncharacteristic things, on top of the cold calm I had seen, made me uneasy.
Scratching the back of my head, I cut my thoughts short. There was no use in thinking about it.
Instead, I kept walking down the halls of Winterfell.
I would check on her, see how she was doing, just for a moment.
Make sure she was all right.
Telling myself this, the tenseness in my shoulders loosened a little with each step I took toward her room.
I just needed to speak to her.
Then it would go away.
This much I was certain of.
I turned the corner toward Sansa's room and, whether by fortune or misfortune, watched as Lady Stark and Mordane exited in tow.
Ducking behind the corner, I watched as the two conversed and walked in the opposite direction.
I held no shame in wanting to speak to my sister, but Lady Stark didn't need to know.
There was no way she would be pleased with me speaking to her daughter after what had happened.
Seeing the two turn the corner, I waited a moment and began walking toward the door.
Raising a hand, I thought about knocking, but hesitated.
Is this really a good idea? It was still quite late into the night, and here I was, thinking of knocking on a lady's door because of my own superstition.
As much as I wanted to know how Sansa felt and what she was thinking, I couldn't find the courage, or the right, to knock on her door.
…It's probably better this way. She must be tired.
Lowering my hand slowly, I stared at the door for a moment before turning around and heading to the maids' corridor.
If I couldn't speak to Sansa, then I'd find her septa, Mordane.
* * *
This gave up.
Thinking was boring sometimes.
This had soaked in all of the words from the two humans and sifted through what felt like a lot of Sansa's memories. Most of it, This didn't understand. Some it did.
It was a shame the memories were not all useful; some were from when Sansa was a small human. These memories had no real value to This.
And This still found it boring to watch and understand all of Sansa's thoughts and memories for so long.
Lifting Sansa's body with its new hands, This sat upright and looked at everything in the room.
There weren't many light things like before; instead, everything it could see was dark and bland.
This wanted to move again. Not the simple movement of fingers or eyes, but something more.
This thought back to how it had moved so quickly before; it understood that it had only happened because of the darkness's pull, not This.
But now that nothing was pulling it, This struggled.
Slowly grasping the body's coordination, This began to move Sansa's legs inch by inch.
Eventually, it managed to move its legs out of the softness that had covered it, and sat upright with its feet hanging from the bed.
This stayed still for a moment, basking in the achievement.
But This still needed more. This wanted to move.
Using its Mindscape briefly, This recalled how humans moved and attempted to do the same.
Lowering itself further, This felt the cold floor below it.
This had learned the new word by combining Sansa's memories with its own feeling of it.
This enjoyed the cold sensation for a moment; it somehow reminded This of the darkness.
It provided This a slight comfort.
Done with the sensation, This tried to make its body stand fully on the cold floor, but seemingly making a mistake, This ended up with its face flat against it instead.
This lay still for a moment, relishing the mix of heat and cold its face now felt.
Controlling a body is too hard, This thought.
It was like thinking ten different thoughts at once.
This tried again, lifting its face off the floor while controlling Sansa's two arms to help push itself up. Through the entire process, This had to think about everything it wanted to do with its body as it did so.
Slowly, This moved itself into a more comfortable position.
This was now resting with its behind on the cold floor; it wasn't like the softness it was in before, but it was good enough.
Enjoying the feeling of cold, This didn't move its body for a while and existed in silence.
Then This got bored.
Trying again, This moved its legs, this time also using its hands as support.
Slowly moving each body part with extreme control, This found itself standing upright.
Not daring to move hastily and fall on the floor again, This stood, analyzing and feeling its body thoroughly instead.
Looking around the room again, This saw a shiny object hanging from the black walls.
Inside it, This could see something.
This took a long time, taking each step cautiously. Eventually, This found itself face to face with the shiny object, looking deeply into it.
Inside the shape, This saw a human.
This instantly recognized the human.
It was Sansa.
This had seen Sansa too many times in its memories not to recognize the small human girl's face.
It instinctively wanted to lift its hands to touch the human's face, but held back in case it fell again.
Instead, it settled for watching it silently.
Standing still, This thought for a moment before slowly raising its hand to its own face.
This watched as the other Sansa also lifted its hand, touching its face.
This let go and stared.
What is that? This couldn't understand what it was looking at.
In Sansa's memories, it had seen her look at something similar. But no understanding of what the shiny thing was came to mind.
This moved closer to the other Sansa with careful movements. This time, it covered its eyes with its hand.
Not having thought it through properly, This only saw darkness.
Instead, it moved its hand slightly, allowing one eye to peek through.
As This had expected, with its vision returning, the other Sansa also looked back at This with one eye.
This continued experimenting: stepping back, closing its hands, touching its face. It even attempted to close and open its eyes before the other Sansa could. However, the other Sansa never failed to follow This.
Not fully understanding, This stopped moving Sansa, letting its body drop harshly to the floor.
This thought.
Why did the human copy This? It had seen Sansa do something similar before, but it didn't make sense to This why there were two Sansas.
Was the real Sansa trapped?
Thinking of its long time trapped in the darkness, an unknown feeling grew inside This.
But This forced it away.
This held its hands out, looking down at what was not its body.
Is this a human? it thought.
If This was Sansa, and Sansa was a human, then maybe This was a human too?
However, This clearly remembered the shiny box saying This was a void.
But could This even believe the box?
This moved even lower on the cold floor until as much of its body as possible could feel the comforting chill.
This closed its eyes and didn't try to think.
It only wanted to enjoy the null sensation that the mix of darkness and cold brought, letting the feeling sink deep.
* * *
I had been waiting for about thirty minutes.
It didn't take long to arrive at the maids' quarters after I left to find Septa.
But I had already spent quite some time quietly waiting for her to arrive.
Thankfully, as I was thinking this, I saw Septa Mordane finally arrive with a large basket of dirty clothes.
"Septa." Standing up from my seat, I spoke, drawing her attention.
Mordane looked up from the pile of clothes with a surprised but pleasant look.
"Jon! Is something the matter?" She chirped as she placed the basket down.
"Nothing much, I'm just curious about Sansa's condition. How is she?"
Looking me in the eyes for a moment, Mordane let out a small laugh.
"Oh, the young lady? Hahaha, I have never seen a child look so disgusted by the taste of medicine. Her little face scrunched up like she had bitten a lemon. Lady Stark and I couldn't help laughing."
A polite smile appeared on my face while I listened.
"But she was ignoring us both. She wouldn't speak, wouldn't even look at us properly. Turned her head away every time we tried to give her the medicine at first."
As she spoke, the smile on her face disappeared inch by inch. She seemed slightly displeased about what had happened.
"For the most part, though, she seems fine. Regardless, Jon, Lady Stark has said not to push her tonight." She lifted a hand and patted my arm gently while speaking.
"Do not worry yourself over it. Sansa is safe in her bed. She will be her sweet self again soon, alright? You should go get some rest too, Jon."
"Alright. Thank you, Septa. Rest well." With those words, I gave a short nod and left.
I had nothing more to ask.
However, the unease in my chest had faded only slightly. Had Sansa been her usual self, I would've let it be.
But even Lady Stark seemed to see a problem.
Leaving the maids' quarters, I began walking toward Sansa's room with a sense of conviction.
I needed to see her for myself.
* * *
The cold was nice. This preferred it to the warmth of its bed.
This had drifted in and out of the darkness multiple times.
It had also tried thinking.
But nothing felt as good as doing nothing on the cold floor.
Perhaps it truly was a human now.
Lying in silence with its eyes closed, This's peace was abruptly cut short.
A sharp sound came from its side, a slight distance away.
Tap. Tap.
This opened its eyes.
The sound came again.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Then again.
This looked in the direction the sound was coming from; it was the same place Mother had left from earlier.
This waited, watching its stillness, but nothing else happened.
Closing its eyes again, This ignored the sounds, intending to fully enjoy itself.
Then an almost silent sound caught its attention again.
Looking toward the sound, This watched as the place Mother had left through slowly and silently creaked open. Through it, a human appeared, looking directly at This.
The human looked familiar to This; it had seen its face before, but was slightly unsure who it was. It resembled the one Sansa called Father, but slightly different.
This looked deeply at the human. And so did the human at This.
This looked longer, not knowing what to do, until eventually the human spoke.
"Erm… sorry, I didn't mean to catch you at a bad time."
Bad time…
The human kept moving its eyes between the floor and Sansa.
It seemed to be thinking something about the cold floor.
Having a brief revelation, This instantly understood why.
The human wanted to enjoy the cold floor, but the time was bad.
This didn't know how to make time good, so it did nothing, only looking more.
"…I'll leave…" As quickly as the human came, it was gone.
…
This felt like something was wrong. This didn't know why, but This thought that if the human wanted to, it should have enjoyed the cold floor too.
Thinking no more of it, This let go, closing its eyes and returning to its Mindscape.