Cassian's POV
She's sitting in my chair, looking terrified.
Good. She should be.
The mate bond burns in my chest like acid, pulling me toward this small, fragile omega who has no business being in my room, let alone being my fated mate. My wolf howls with joy, thrashing inside me, desperate to claim her.
But my wolf is an idiot.
"Do you understand what you've done to me?" I demand, pacing in front of her. "What this bond means?"
Elowen flinches at my tone. "I didn't do anything. The Moon Goddess—"
"The Moon Goddess made a mistake!" The words explode out of me. "An omega? My fated mate is an omega? Do you have any idea what that means for my future? For this pack?"
"I know what I am," she whispers, her gray eyes filling with tears. "I know I'm not good enough—"
"Not good enough?" I laugh bitterly. "You're not even close. An Alpha's mate should be strong, powerful, worthy of respect. You scrub floors, Elowen. You're invisible. Worthless."
Each word makes her shrink smaller, and some twisted part of me feels satisfaction. If I hurt her enough, maybe she'll reject the bond herself. Maybe this nightmare will end.
But the bond won't let me hurt her too badly. Every cruel word I speak feels like swallowing glass.
"Please," Elowen says, standing up on shaking legs. "Can't we just... try? The bond chose us for a reason. Maybe—"
"There is no try." I step closer, and she backs against the wall. "Here's what's going to happen. You will never speak of this bond to anyone. Not your father. Not the other omegas. No one. Do you understand?"
"But we're mates—"
"We're nothing!" I slam my hand against the wall beside her head, and she gasps. "An omega cannot be Luna. The pack would revolt. My parents would disown me. Everything I've worked for would be destroyed because the Moon Goddess has a sick sense of humor."
Tears stream down her face now. "Then what do you want from me?"
Good question. What do I want?
I want this bond to disappear. I want to wake up tomorrow and discover this was all a nightmare. I want my fated mate to be someone like Seraphine—beautiful, strong, respected. Someone I could actually be proud to stand beside.
Instead, I got the pack's weakest wolf.
But the bond won't let me send her away completely. It's already driving me insane, and she's been in my room for less than five minutes. My wolf demands I touch her, claim her, mark her as mine.
"You'll keep silent about the bond," I say finally, my voice cold and controlled. "You'll continue your omega duties. You'll stay away from me in public. And when the bond becomes... unbearable... I'll summon you. Privately. At night. Where no one can see."
Elowen's eyes widen with understanding and horror. "You want to keep me as a secret."
"I want to keep you out of my life," I correct. "But since the Moon Goddess won't allow that, you'll be my dirty little secret instead. That's the deal. Take it or leave the pack entirely."
"That's not fair—"
"Life isn't fair, omega. You should know that better than anyone." I turn away from her, unable to look at those wounded gray eyes anymore. "Now get out. Before I do something we'll both regret."
I hear her move toward the door, hear her hand on the doorknob. Freedom is seconds away.
Then my wolf takes over.
I cross the room in two strides and grab her wrist, spinning her around. The moment we touch, the mate bond roars to life, flooding me with need so intense it's painful.
"Cassian—" she breathes.
I pull her against my chest, hating how perfectly she fits there. Hating how right it feels. Hating her for existing.
"I hate this," I growl against her hair. "I hate you for making me feel this way."
"I didn't mean to—"
"I don't care what you meant." I tilt her face up, forcing her to look at me. "But the bond won't let me ignore you completely. So we'll do this my way. Secret. Hidden. Shameful. Just like you."
She should slap me. Should fight back. Should have some dignity.
Instead, she just stands there, accepting my cruelty like she deserves it.
And that makes me hate her even more.
Because somewhere deep inside, beneath the disgust and anger and disappointment, my wolf whispers that she's perfect. That she's ours. That we should protect her, not destroy her.
But I silence that voice and do what needs to be done.
Thirty minutes later, Elowen pulls her clothes back on with shaking hands. She won't look at me. Good. I don't want to see the hope or hurt or whatever emotion is in those gray eyes.
I pull money from my desk drawer and throw it on the bed beside her. "Clean yourself up before you leave. Use the bathroom down the hall, not mine. And make sure no one sees you."
She stares at the money like it's a snake. "What's this for?"
"Does it matter? Take it. Buy something. I don't care." I turn away, unable to watch her humiliation anymore. "And Elowen? This never happened. If anyone asks where you were tonight, you were in the servant quarters the whole time. Understand?"
"Yes, Alpha," she whispers.
The title sounds wrong coming from her. She's my mate, not my subject. But I don't correct her.
I hear her gather the money with trembling hands. Hear her walk to the door. Hear it open.
"Cassian?" Her voice is so soft I almost don't catch it.
"What?"
"Do you... do you feel anything for me at all? Anything besides the bond?"
I should say no. Should drive the knife in deeper, make sure she knows exactly where she stands.
But I'm tired of lying tonight.
"I feel trapped," I say honestly. "I feel like my whole future just got stolen because the Moon Goddess decided to play a joke. I feel angry and cheated and disgusted with myself for wanting someone I can never actually have." I finally turn to look at her. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Her face is pale, her eyes devastated. "I'll never tell anyone about the bond. I promise."
"Good. Now get out."
She leaves, closing the door quietly behind her.
The moment she's gone, the bond screams in agony, demanding I chase after her. Demanding I apologize. Demanding I accept what the Moon Goddess gave me.
I ignore it and pour myself a drink instead.
Tomorrow, I'll start courting Seraphine publicly. I'll find a proper Luna, someone the pack can respect. Someone who won't embarrass me.
And Elowen? She'll learn her place. Secret. Hidden. Shameful.
Just another omega servant, except this one I'm cursed to want.
I drain my glass and pour another, trying to drown out my wolf's howls of protest.
But deep down, I know the truth I'm not willing to admit:
Hurting her hurt me too.
And I'm going to do it again and again because I'm too much of a coward to accept what the Moon Goddess gave me.
Three floors below, in the servant quarters, I sense Elowen crying herself to sleep.
The bond carries her pain straight to my chest.
I pour another drink and pretend not to notice.
Tomorrow, I'll summon her again. Because the bond won't let me stay away for long.
And the cycle of shame will continue.
Because I'm the Alpha who got everything he wanted—except the one thing that actually matters.