Year 57 of Konoha…
Ring—ring—ring…
As the dismissal bell echoed through the halls in the late afternoon, Konosuke—who had been sprawled over his desk asleep—was jolted awake by the noise.
He sat up and glanced around. The office was already empty. The other teachers had clearly gone home.
He lit a cigarette, then opened his status panel.
[Host: Sarutobi Konosuke][Template: Borsalino (Unlock Progress: 21.6%)][Slacker Value: 0.01][Friendly Reminder: Lying flat is a blessing, slacking is the path. Be salty enough and the template delivers to your door. Devil Fruit abilities will adapt to the local power system.]
Konosuke stared at the name "Borsalino" and the percentage beside it for a long while before finally closing the panel.
He was a transmigrator. Six years had passed since he arrived in this world of ninja.
Because he belonged to the Sarutobi clan—and thanks to Hiruzen Sarutobi quietly pulling a few strings—his life had been fairly comfortable.
Like many transmigrators, he possessed a cheat ability. As long as he slacked off, he could unlock the abilities of Kizaru. It suited him perfectly.
Kizaru. The man who clocked in, drank tea, read the newspaper, and only shone brilliantly at critical moments.
Speed is power. Ever been kicked at the speed of light?
But the real essence of that template wasn't ambiguous justice. No—it was that refined, bone-deep elegance of… slacking philosophy.
For the sake of the Glint-Glint Fruit, for the sake of the Kizaru template—he had been slacking for six whole years.
He had even developed advanced techniques: "Static Meditation Slacking Method," "Dynamic Participation Without Effort," and "Strategic Selective Deafness and Blindness."
After years of effort, titles like "Konoha Ninja Academy's Most Famous Deadweight Teacher," "The Shame of the Sarutobi Clan," and "Hopeless Mud That Won't Stick to the Wall" had spread far and wide.
Konosuke didn't care what others thought. You're not a fish—how would you know a fish's joy? He figured they were just jealous.
Still, slacking only increased progress by 0.01 per day. If he fully unlocked Kizaru's abilities right now, he would definitely walk up to Hiruzen Sarutobi and declare, "I don't eat beef."
Fortunately, he was only fifteen this year. No need to rush. He could take it slow.
Just then, a figure appeared on the windowsill.
"Sarutobi Konosuke. The Hokage wants to see you. Go to the Hokage's office immediately. If you're not there in ten minutes, your future subsidy will be cut."
The moment he saw the shock of white hair beneath the ANBU mask, Konosuke didn't need to guess. It had to be Kakashi.
That spiky hair was too recognizable. The mask felt more symbolic than concealing.
Konosuke flicked his cigarette to the floor, crushed it under his shoe, and replied lazily, "Got it. I'll be there within ten minutes."
He adjusted his yellow-striped suit, draped a navy-style coat over his shoulders, and strolled out at an unhurried pace.
Before leaving, he took out a pair of yellow-tinted sunglasses from his pocket and put them on.
The outfit—custom-made to match Kizaru's look—was his pride. Though he had skipped the open-toed sandals. Those were just uncomfortable.
Watching the so-called "Shame of the Sarutobi Clan," Kakashi couldn't help but think the man carried himself with more flair than the Hokage himself.
Half an hour later, Konosuke arrived at the Hokage's office.
"Hokage-sama, I heard you were looking for me. The moment I received the news, I rushed here at top speed. Is there an important mission you wish to entrust to me?"
Hiruzen Sarutobi's brows were tightly furrowed. He was clearly irritated. Kakashi had returned long ago, and yet this man only just arrived—and still dared claim it was his fastest speed.
If not for the fact that Konosuke was from the Sarutobi clan, Hiruzen might have sent him to guard the border for the rest of his life.
As for why he was late—simple. He had seen Naruto standing outside Ichiraku Ramen, drooling. So he bought the kid a bowl.
Hiruzen adjusted his emotions and spoke in a low voice.
"Konosuke, you said your ninjutsu talent was lacking and requested to promote the Will of Fire at the Academy. I agreed. But what have you been doing?"
"Every class, you repeat three lines. 'Where the leaves dance, the fire burns eternal—applause if you understand.'"
"'The Will of Fire is the village's needs—applause if you understand.'"
"'You are the village's future. You determine how brightly the Will of Fire burns—applause if you understand.'"
The more he spoke, the angrier he became. Hiruzen hurled his smoking pipe at Konosuke.
"You've completely ruined the Will of Fire! I'm embarrassed to even bring it up anymore!"
"You single-handedly lowered its dignity! Have you no shame for betraying my trust? Go guard the border! Now! Immediately!"
Konosuke caught the pipe midair and gently placed it back on the desk. His expression shifted into one of sorrow, his tone turning mournful.
"Hokage-sama… I am an unfortunate child. When I was nine, my parents, in order to confront—"
"Stop!!!"
Hiruzen raised his hand and cut him off. He already knew what was coming. The same tragic sob story. Konosuke had used it more than once.
Being interrupted didn't bother Konosuke. He already knew he wouldn't be sent to the border.
The border was harsh—and it would interfere with his slacking. The Academy was far more comfortable.
Hiruzen picked up his pipe, refilled it with tobacco, and prepared to take a few puffs.
Konosuke quickly produced a lighter and helped light it, then took out a cigarette for himself as well.
He had swiped this pack from Asuma. Not bad flavor.
After a few drags, Hiruzen spoke again.
"You are no longer responsible for cultivating the Will of Fire. I'll handle that personally. You will teach ninjutsu instead."
"You'll assist with Naruto's class. Iruka's strength is below yours. With your help, things will be easier for him. And frankly, you're more suited to instruct them."
Teach ninjutsu?
Konosuke hesitated. Promoting ideology allowed room to slack. Teaching practical skills? That left no space to slack at all.
"Hokage-sama, I'm just a Chūnin. I only know a few clan techniques. I can't possibly instruct the children of major clans."
"How about this? Let me serve as your advisor. I see Danzo hobbling around with his cane every day, not doing anything particularly useful. I'm pretty good at wandering around too—and I don't even need a cane."
Bang!!!
Hiruzen slammed the desk so hard the teacup jumped.
"Go guard the border right now! Immediately! You—"
Before he could finish, Konosuke vanished in a Body Flicker Technique.
His voice drifted back through the air.
"Hokage-sama, leave teaching the students to me! I guarantee I'll raise them into Kage-level powerhouses!"