[At 5:36 am on a normal winter night]
Ugh....Having to wake up this early when it's this cold...I wonder if my life will ever get better, this is becoming too much.
*Lin xin says as he prepares to leave his home*
On his way to the train station he notices two men fighting over a woman's affection, he seems quite puzzled by the entire matter, he was never in a relationship before, having been rejected countless times to the point he stopped trying entirely, was it how he looked or not being rich enough? He didn't know the answer to that question, He glanced at them briefly before returning his gaze to the path in front of him.
After having arrived and getting the ticket, he sits in his seat quietly, taking one of the books he brought with him to read out of his backpack, The title of the said book being (How to get rich for dummies) He wanted to improve his current life, but he didn't know how to, not even knowing the book he's reading is a waste of time, a scheme to gain money by the author by taking advantage of the desperate ones, an hour passes quickly, as he prepares to leave he once again notices something weird, one of the people on the train has been talking non stop on his phone the entire time, only taking breaks to catch his breath every now and then, he thought to himself....(I haven't said a word since I left my home, yet some people talk for so long, how do they not get tired of such thing?).
He turned his head back and walked straight ahead to the exit, arriving at exactly 6:55 am, As he sat there he couldn't help but notice one of his colleagues, Zhou Xinyi, She had striking beauty and was nice to everyone, He couldn't tell if his feelings towards her were that of admiration or love, So he decided to focus on his work instead.
(After 4 hours, in one of his breaks) A figure starts to approach Lin Xin, it's none other than his friend Xu Ming, he placed his hand on Lin xin's back and said: Why have you not said hello to me yet? You've been quiet the entire day, just cheer up a little, dude.
Lin xin looked at him with coldness in his eyes, He didn't feel the need to talk without a reason anymore, for someone who has been left alone most of his life, he didn't feel the need to express his feelings to others, But he still felt like he needed to reply back to his only friend.
It's just there's a lot in my mind, I can't stop thinking about many things, that's why you'll see me zoning out from time to time, I have to work overtime today and pretty much everyday until the end of the month, It's just stressful you know...
That does seem annoying, But even then you can't just remain like this, how about joining me and my other friends for dinner tonight? It'll be very fun, even Zhou Xinyi will be there!
Lin Xin said nothing for a few seconds before saying yes with a bit of hesitation, He had no idea why but he felt a sense of danger, However he still chose to ignore those feelings and treat himself tonight, surely nothing bad will happen.
As he prepared to finish his work by 6 pm he thought about his friend's offer again, He remembers that the meeting was to be near a restaurant that his friend told him about a few weeks ago, he just sat there quietly and got ready to leave the office, Before leaving, he caught a glimpse of his boss talking with Zhou Xinyi, He had nothing to do with it, yet he found himself eavesdropping on them for a reason even he didn't know, it hasn't been 10 seconds and he heard his boss tell her that she has no choice but to agree to his demands, telling her to leave and think about what he said.
He got away from the scene before either of them could notice him, He was yet again feeling something off that day, What was going on between the both of them?? He thought to himself but decided to focus on preparing himself for the dinner tonight.
At 7:57 pm, He was finally nearing the location to meet his friends, He even saw them across the street, He just had to cross to the other side, The road was quiet, he took a few steps towards them as they noticed him arriving, but just as he was in the middle of the road, he noticed a blinding light coming from his left side, He barely had time to react before being hit by a speeding car, it could've been going at 120 Km/h at the time of that accident, his body dropped to the ground as he felt everything slowly disappear, He heard a few screams echoing in his mind as he was slowly losing the strength to keep his eyes open, It hurt...It hurt so bad! Yet he couldn't utter a single word.
His eyes closed once and for all before seeing his friends gathered around him, He hoped he would finally find peace now.
He regretted not being able to make friends in his life, He should've done more to improve his situation but he didn't.
He preferred the feeling of isolation and saw himself as better than the rest of people, But was he really better than them? That is a question he'll never know the answer to, For now at least.
Faint fragments of childhood surfaced, His mind remembered faint memories of his childhood that he spent alone trying to prove something to himself, That he didn't need anyone or anything to keep him company, Yet the feeling of loneliness never left his heart, He liked multiple people yet his own mind was working against him, actively sabotaging every try at a relationship with others, No friends, No partners, His family abandoned him, He was completely alone, He doubted if someone would attend his funeral, He finally began to understand the guy that he saw on the train earlier today, He had something that he didn't have, Company and friends to keep him away from ending up like him.
He was the one that was better at the end, Wasn't he? But none of it mattered now, His mind slowly started to calm down, He accepted his fate. He brought this upon himself.
He laid there, lifeless.