# Chapter 5: Medication and Memories
Yunar came down the stairs in slow motion.
Each step seemed to weigh more than the last. His body was present, but his mind was still drifting somewhere between the kitchen bathed in golden light and the dark bedroom where he had woken up.
*Bye bye, Daddy.*
The echo of the child's voice reverberated in his head.
Mrs. Wan was in the kitchen, making breakfast. The smell of scrambled eggs and toast filled the air. She turned when she heard his footsteps.
"Good morning." She set a plate on the table. "Don't forget your medication."
Yunar stopped in the kitchen doorway.
The medication.
He looked at the counter where three small bottles stood in a row. He knew each one by heart. The mood stabiliser. The anxiolytic. The third one the psychiatrist had added last month, whose name he could never quite pronounce.
"Yeah." The words came out automatically.
A few tears trickled down.
He wiped them away before his mother could see, but he knew she had already noticed. She always did.
She said nothing. She just turned back to the stove.
Yunar sat at the table and ate mechanically. The food had no taste. Or maybe he just couldn't concentrate enough to notice.
His phone buzzed.
*Eren: "Dude, you're going to be late."*
Yunar glanced at the clock on the wall. 7:42. Damn. He swallowed the rest of his toast, picked up the three bottles, and tipped the pills into the palm of his hand.
Three small tablets. White, blue, and one yellow.
He put them in his mouth and took a sip of water. Swallowed.
His mother watched from the corner of her eye while she did the washing up.
"Did you sleep well?"
"I did." Another lie.
"Yunar—"
"I have to go." He stood quickly, grabbed his backpack, and left before she could continue.
---
School was a blur of voices and movement.
Yunar drifted through his classes like a ghost. He copied notes, answered when called on, but his mind was somewhere else.
*He had kissed her.*
In the dream, he had walked up to the woman while she was stirring something on the stove. She had laughed at something he said — he couldn't remember what. And then, without thinking, he had kissed her.
And she had kissed him back.
It had been different from the other kisses. Not desperate or heavy with tears. It had been... natural. Like something they did every day.
*But I don't do that every day.*
Or did he?
"Yunar?"
He blinked. Eren was sitting beside him in the cafeteria, waving a hand in front of his face.
"Man, are you even listening to me?"
"Sorry. What did you say?"
Eren sighed. "I asked if you were going out with Alya again today."
"Yeah. She said she wants to show me her house."
"Ohhh." Eren's grin turned mischievous. "Taking the boyfriend home to see the house? That's serious."
Yunar rolled his eyes, but couldn't help a small smile. "It's not like that."
"Sure it isn't." Eren gave him a light nudge with his elbow. "Just don't forget to keep the tears under control. Imagine meeting her parents while you're standing there crying like a broken tap."
"She said her parents won't be home."
"Even better."
"Eren—"
"I'm kidding, man. Relax." He took a sip of his juice. "But seriously, are you okay? You've been... I don't know, more distant the last few days."
Yunar hesitated. How could he explain?
"Just tired."
Eren didn't look convinced, but he didn't push it.
---
Alya was waiting at the school gate when the last bell rang.
She was wearing a simple white blouse and a denim skirt. Her hair was down, swaying slightly in the breeze. When she saw him, she smiled.
Something in Yunar's chest tightened.
"Ready?" she asked.
"Ready."
They walked side by side through the neighbourhood streets. Alya talked about classes, about a tough chemistry test, about a funny video she had seen. Yunar listened, responded at the right moments, but part of him was still stuck somewhere else.
*The woman laughing as she stirred the pan. The little girl drawing at the kitchen table.*
"This is it."
Yunar blinked. They were standing in front of a small but well-kept house. A garden with colourful flowers. A white-painted wooden gate. A bicycle leaning against the porch.
"My parents went to visit my grandmother." Alya pushed the gate open. "They won't be back until tomorrow."
They went inside.
The house had that familiar smell of home — a mix of laundry powder, fresh flowers, and something baking in the oven. The living room was cosy, with a large sofa and shelves full of books and framed photos.
"Do you want something to drink?" Alya headed to the kitchen.
"Water's fine."
While she got the glasses, Yunar looked at the photos on the shelf. Alya as a child in a park. Alya with her parents at a beach. Alya at some kind of graduation, holding a certificate and smiling wide.
An entire life captured in frozen moments.
"Here." Alya came back with two glasses of water.
They sat on the sofa. Talked some more. About nothing and everything. It was easy with her. Comfortable.
But Yunar couldn't stop thinking.
*Why do I feel so split?*
Time passed faster than he expected. When he glanced at the clock on the wall, it was already nearly six in the evening.
"I should go." He stood up.
Alya walked him to the door. They stood there for a moment, neither of them wanting to be the first to say goodbye.
Then she stepped forward and hugged him.
It was a tight, warm hug that lasted longer than it should have. Yunar breathed in her soft perfume, felt the warmth of her against him.
When she pulled away, there was a faint blush on her cheeks.
"See you tomorrow?"
"Of course."
She waved, and he walked out through the gate.
The walk home was quiet. The sky was beginning to darken, painting itself in shades of purple and deep blue.
Yunar tucked his hands into his pockets and walked slowly, letting his mind drift.
---
That night, sleep came quickly.
And so did the dream.
---
Yunar was in the living room.
The TV was on, showing some cooking programme. The little girl was sitting on the floor, surrounded by coloured pencils and sheets of paper. She was drawing something — a house, maybe, or a tree. It was hard to tell.
The woman was beside him on the sofa.
She wasn't wearing anything special. Just a comfortable top and sweatpants. Her white hair fell loose over her shoulders. She was laughing at something on the programme, and the sound was light, genuine.
Yunar looked at her.
And smiled.
Not forced. Not hesitant. Natural. As though that moment was exactly where he was supposed to be.
The woman turned and caught him staring. "What?"
"Nothing." He was still smiling.
She tilted her head, her eyes studying his face. Then she smiled too. "You're acting strange today."
"Strange good or strange bad?"
"Good." She leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder. "Definitely good."
The little girl looked up from her drawings. "Daddy, do you like my picture?"
Yunar looked. It was a house with a family — three stick figures of different sizes. A bright yellow sun in the corner.
"It's beautiful."
"It's us!" She pointed to each figure. "You, Mummy, and me!"
Something tightened in Yunar's chest.
*Mummy.*
He looked at the woman beside him. She was still leaning against him, eyes closed, a small smile on her lips.
He didn't know her name. He didn't know how they had met. He didn't know how long they had been together.
But in that moment, with her at his side and the little girl drawing on the floor, Yunar felt something he hadn't felt in a long time.
*Peace.*
"I love you." The words came out before he could think.
The woman opened her eyes and lifted her head to look at him. Surprise flashed across her face, followed by something softer.
"I love you too."
And then everything began to tremble.
The room. The walls. The light.
*"See reality."*
But this time, the voice sounded distant. Faint. As though it were losing its strength.
Yunar grabbed the woman's hand. "No."
She looked at him, confused. "What—"
And everything disappeared.
---
Yunar woke up with tears streaming down his face.
But this time, they weren't from sadness.
They were something deeper. Something he couldn't name.
He stared up at the ceiling in the dark.
And for the first time, he didn't know which world he preferred to be in.
---
*END OF CHAPTER 5*