The first time I try to "run," I make a critical mistake.
I attempt to sprint like a human.
Arms pumping.
Legs lifting.
Determination in my nonexistent lungs.
What actually happens?
I wobble.
Violently.
My torso bends left.
Then right.
Then left again.
My arms flail in loose, ribbon-like arcs.
My legs don't stride — they shuffle.
I look less like I'm fleeing for my life and more like an inflatable tube man outside a used car dealership.
Behind me, the original Poochyena barks sharply.
The pack of Mightyena surges forward.
Full speed.
Muscles coiling.
Paws digging into the soil.
Meanwhile, I am aggressively… wiggling.
This is not optimal.
One of the Mightyena snaps at my trailing arm.
I instinctively flail harder.
My body ripples from the force, folding sideways like cloth caught in a breeze.
And then it clicks.
I stop trying to run.
I let my body go slack.
A Dusk doesn't sprint.
A Dusk undulates.
I lean forward slightly.
My upper body sways to one side—
Then the other—
Each sway transferring into forward momentum.
My legs don't lift high; they slide and step in short, gliding motions while my torso rhythmically twists.
Left.
Right.
Left.
Right.
The movement is eerie.
Smooth.
Boneless.
My arms trail behind me, swaying like pale streamers.
And suddenly—
I'm fast.
Not in a pounding, foot-thundering way.
In a silent, weaving way.
I slip between trees without breaking stride, body bending around trunks instead of colliding with them. When a branch juts into my path, I don't dodge it — my torso simply dips and flows beneath it.
The Mightyena are still faster in raw speed.
But they have to turn.
They have to adjust.
I just… wiggle through.
It looks ridiculous.
It feels ridiculous.
But it works.
The pack crashes through brush behind me, growling.
I increase the sway frequency.
Bigger lean.
Quicker side-to-side motion.
My entire body moves like a pale serpent trying very hard to cosplay as a scarecrow.
Leaves brush against me and slide off.
My feet barely make noise.
I zigzag instinctively, my spine bending far more than it should.
One Mightyena lunges—
I bend sideways almost ninety degrees, my torso folding while my legs continue moving forward.
It snaps at empty air.
Okay.
This is terrifyingly effective.
I lean harder into the motion—
And that's when the trees thin.
The forest floor stops.
And I wiggle directly off a cliff.
There is a split second where my body is still mid-undulation.
Then there's nothing under my foot.
The sway continues out of habit.
My torso leans forward.
My legs do one more little sliding step.
And then I'm no longer wiggling across ground.
I'm wiggling in midair.
Behind me, the Mightyena skid to a halt at the edge.
They stare.
Because instead of flailing—
Instead of screaming—
I continue the same rhythmic side-to-side motion as I descend.
Left.
Right.
Left.
Right.
Just… slowly sinking while doing the world's most inappropriate falling animation.
"…This is not how gravity is supposed to work," I think calmly as I sway midair.
I drift downward in that same undulating pattern until I gently touch the ground below.
The motion slows.
Stops.
I straighten.
Look up at the cliff.
The pack peers down at me.
One lets out a confused bark.
I give them a small, accidental side sway.
They disappear from the edge.
I stand there for a moment.
"…So running equals aggressive wiggling."
I look at my arms as they dangle loosely.
"…I need to practice that."