Chapter 6:
Day 0.
I never thought I would reach this point.
I am forced to allow my precious sister, despite the vow I made nine years ago to help her unconditionally, to face head-on the harsh reality of an unwanted engagement with Riser. It is true that I am breaking my promise, but the promises of children and the reality of adults are two completely different things.
When I was a child, my ignorance made me charge forward without fear of consequences, believing that everything would be fun adventures and that, as the Devil King's brother, I was protected. For eight years, that mentality only led me to collide face first with the hard reality.
It is true, in practice I have become the golden boy of the Underworld. I am a spoiled child who is allowed to get away with everything, simply because my intellect is absolutely indispensable for them to keep progressing.
Truth be told, I never sought fame and prestige; however, I do not despise them. In fact, they are things I have come to enjoy, and admiration and affection are never superfluous. Even so, it is undeniable that I would have been happier as a scholar who preferred to study magic, go unnoticed, and enjoy his hobby.
But my reckless actions nine years ago forced me to confront the harsh reality. To begin with, I am not special, just a most normal noble boy. Yes, I have great potential for magic and such, but I am neither the only prodigy nor the most outstanding.
Sure, I managed to revolutionize the rating games and replicate elements from the series that my sister is so fascinated with. I know they are products designed to entertain; I am not as unaware as my public persona might suggest. Obviously, I am aware that everything they contain is fictional.
The point is that all my achievements, just like the way I act now (completely opposite to how I used to behave when I was younger and spent my days in the library instead of being sociable), have the same origin.
the five original maids... or to be more precise, the story of how I obtained them.
When it happened... and even after my punishment, I felt incredible. I had managed to save five girls on my own from a life of suffering and slavery. I was unaware of the reality that my actions unleashed, and when I talked to Rias, I barely began to glimpse the consequences I had caused.
As the months passed, I slowly discovered the starker truth: there was no euthanasia. Sirzechs had told me that to prevent me from being struck by the guilt of having caused a mass suicide of slaves who were so emotionally and mentally shattered that they could not conceive of a life free from their chains.
The true nature of the life debt, the challenges my maids faced because they had practically only known chains, suffering, and torture. Some were even born in the cage that confined them and were separated from their mother before she was sold.
When I found out about this, I don't know if it was a massive panic attack, if the guilt hit me so hard that I went into crisis, or if I simply fell from the peak of fantasy and crashed into the hard reality.
What I do remember is that I practically locked myself in a closet in my room. I didn't leave until well into the night and not of my own free will. It was Natsume, who at that time always slept in my bed, clinging to me as if her life depended on it (and in fact it was), who found me. Seeing me in that state —the person who saved her life, who gave her a safe place and whom she admired as a hero, so broken— made her panic and she began to cry.
Somehow, her sobs managed to penetrate my massive panic attack. Before I knew it, my arms were already around her, trying to comfort her. I gently rubbed her back, allowing her to cry on my chest. As I did so, the reality of my actions hit me again.
Not only was I indirectly responsible for one of the Underworld's biggest diplomatic crises in centuries, nor did I only cause a mass suicide of slaves. Also... there were good things, or at least a real opportunity to mend some of the wrong I did. Natsume, Oliver, Shiron, Luna, Evelyn had nothing and clung to me. They needed me, the person who saved them and gave them a real chance to live.
With that thought in mind, we remained in the darkness of the closet; she clinging to me. I, for my part, realized the foolishness and selfishness of my actions. Yes, I had been a foolish and reckless child who felt invincible for having saved five pure souls from a fate worse than death. However, the truth was that I was just an idiot who, by playing the hero, generated a great deal of trouble. If I had been my father, he would have expelled me from the clan.
But my father loved me. He understood that I was just a child, and that's why, even though he and my mother were disappointed in me, they couldn't throw me out. They loved me and continue to love me with every ounce of their hearts, and for that reason, they did not give up on me.
Two years... It took me two years to realize all the mistakes I made that day. In that single night, I understood that my worst punishment was not just disappointing my mother or cleaning the stables, but being responsible for the painful consequences of my own recklessness.
At the same time, they became the reason for me to become someone better. They had nothing, so I decided that I would be their everything. At that moment, I understood that, to truly help them, I needed to improve integrally: not only to be stronger or wiser, but also more human and understanding. To become the hero they needed and saw in me, I had to grow, to go from being a child to being a man.
And so, at just ten years old, I made the decision to become what they needed. I would give the world what it asked for so much. I never abandoned my studies, as my fascination with magic remained intact, but now there was a greater purpose: to be the "golden boy" of the Underworld. I had to secure a safe place within it to guarantee their safety.
Of course, strength was not everything; connections were also crucial. Thus, I began to socialize much more and forge a reputation. I stopped being the quiet and playful child from before to adopt a playful arrogance and a 'geek' attitude towards the magical, which curiously made people approach me more easily. In reality, it wasn't so bad; thanks to that I met incredible people. Who would have thought that Sairaorg, behind that obsession with physical training, was so nice? The point is that my innocence died and I had to mature quickly to overcome myself.
I am not ruined... Yes, I have made mistakes, who hasn't? But the difference between real men and cowardly, pusillanimous ones lies in a very simple fact: Only those of us who accept that we are not perfect and that we can be wrong do not become weak. We can cry, we can laugh, we can feel guilt for the mistakes made, but not allowing that to define us is what turns us into men.
What does all this have to do with my sister? Honestly, I don't know... Maybe I simply see the child I had to stop being in her, or maybe I'm just writing this to convince myself that what I'm about to do is the right thing.
There is something I know: I cannot fight for her. I could, yes, but it wouldn't do her any good. I am undeniably stronger, my pieces are superior; praising them and offering them someone in me who will always love them, regardless of whether they fail or how many times they do, usually has a positive effect.
She, on the other hand, has become stagnant. If I act now to solve her problems, she will never get out of that deadlock. Realistically, when she faces the reality that she cannot defeat Riser alone, when she sees that her best effort was insufficient, she will inevitably collide with that hard truth.
It won't be as hard as what I went through... and I pray that she never has to go through something so terribly horrible.
However, for her to mature, this small collision with reality should be enough. And since I know myself and I know that I won't be able to ignore my sister's situation, I have a plan that will keep me busy for at least a couple of weeks.
My grandfather, the great Zekram Bael, has been pressuring my father to sign an engagement contract with my cousin. It's not that she's unattractive or that I find her unpleasant; I'm simply too young and have other priorities before thinking about marriage. I literally have all eternity to find a girl, or girls, since this society allows it, to marry.
However, that is not the main problem now. She has difficulties controlling her Power of Destruction because she was born with abnormally dense magic reserves. For this reason... I have decided to kidnap her.
Helping her master her power... will take me much longer than I would like. However, it gives me a pretext not to go to Rias's aid immediately.
It's not a great plan, in fact, it's not a plan at all, but it's the only thing I can think of.
End of diary.