Nanon
The place I only open at night plays all your favorite songs. I know you where into rock and lil peep. You had a particular taste that didn't match the majority of today's society expectations when it comes to music. That's what I liked about you, despite being a big mouthed kid you where smart and you knew what was good.
Father's money, it went all to the state after the police found out what kind of business he was in, but of course they weren't saints. We paird them to keep their mouths shut about us with the personal money we had left.
I earn a living by managing this bar that plays your favorite music and sells your favorite drinks.
I'm so damn jealous of Milk and Namtan.
They are in love and happy, and they don't look touched at all by everything that happened less than a year ago.
It feels like I'm leaving in the past, like I'm falling behind and while they keep getting more successful.
I'm doing this because thinking about forgetting you and moving on breaks me.
Leaving you behind is both my salvation and greatest fear.
My life was never fair.
My first love and stepsister, Namtan, never felt the same way I felt for her even if she knew what was in my heart, she decided to ignore it, and after I found you, and loved you more than I could ever loved her, they took you away from me.
You left me all alone, you know that?
It hurts.
Please come back to me.
I stare at the red light leds while I lay down shirtless on the black leather couch.
I can feel her breathe next to me, in the painful and uncomfortable silence between us that forms after we're done fucking.
"This place," I sweep my hand vaguely toward the peeling wallpaper and the dingy window, "it's not mine. None of this is real." I mean me.
Every step I take away from her, away from the possibility of comfort, is a step back toward Ohm. It's the only way I know how to honor the immense, crippling loss.
I quickly get up and walk to the bar.
"Wanna open this shithole drunk?" Emi asks with a small chuckle as she slides on her top, covering her breasts.
"It's more fun that way." I answer as I take a bottle of Jack and open it before getting my lips on it and drinking almost half of it.
I can feel the alcohol burning my troat and it hurts.
"Woah slowdown" she takes it from my hands making my brows furrow in annoyance.
"You still need to work, and leave some for me" she takes a long sip before placing the bottle on the table and waking to the door.
She flips the "open" sign on the door twas the glass facing outside.