Chapter 389: One That Counts for Two
Little Sakura of the Tohsaka: Why does Josuke-oniichan always talk like some kind of simp?
Kaguya-sama: Eh? Sakura actually knows what "simp" means? I'm guessing Yukari-nee's been teaching you things she shouldn't again.
Eternally Seventeen: Pah, what do you mean "things I shouldn't"? I'm teaching Sakura-chan this stuff precisely so she avoids becoming someone's simp down the road herself.
RawrSoFierce: Someone? Hmm... not sure why, but I get the strong sense you're implying something specific right now.
RawrSoFierce: Also feels like if I say anything else here, I'm just going to end up putting the shoe on myself.
Crazy Diamond: @Little Sakura of the Tohsaka, no, no, this isn't "simp" energy, Josuke-oniichan here is just doing what any smart guy does — clinging tight to the group's heavy hitters.
Little Sakura of the Tohsaka: Um... doesn't that sound exactly like what Yukari-nee just called "simping," though?
Crazy Diamond: There's a difference! Simping usually means fawning over girls. I'm fawning over guys — that's a completely different category, gender-wise!
Ying Zheng The Sovereign: ...Not sure why, but that gave this sovereign actual goosebumps.
Ying Zheng The Sovereign: This sovereign's tastes run perfectly normal, thank you very much. Kindly don't get any ideas.
Edward Newgate: Gurararara! Rattling even Qin Shi Huang like that — Josuke's really got some genuinely terrifying energy going on.
My True Form Is Cola: Why does it feel like Whitebeard-ojii-sama is just enjoying watching this unfold from the sidelines.
Edward Newgate: Am I? Absolutely not. No such thing happening here. Little Umaru, don't go spreading rumors now.
Maidang: Speaking of, what's this new "Idiom Envelope" thing from the update supposed to be? Some kind of idiom chain game? Should I try sending one out?
Kaguya-sama: Ooh? Someone's dropping a red envelope? Shoving my way to the front of the line, ready to grab it.
Eternally Seventeen: Envelope? Where's the envelope? Since joining this group I've barely grabbed a handful of red envelopes total. Barely sent any myself, either.
Terrible Tornado: Fair, honestly... feels like the group's total red envelope count over the past year-plus doesn't even crack twenty.
Admiral Kizaru: Poor forgotten red envelope feature, left gathering dust all this time. Tragic, really.
[Member "Maidang" has sent an Idiom Envelope! Idiom: "as one pleases." Next idiom in the chain must start with "yu."]
RawrSoFierce: Ashes and jade, both burned together!
Eternally Seventeen: Tears of no avail!
Wandering Little Planet: Unable to stop, once begun!
Eternally Seventeen: What the — how is Admin-sama's hand this fast, and since when do near-homophone characters even count for grabbing envelopes?? Unacceptable... one star, would not recommend!
Wandering Little Planet: Didn't get one either. This is too hard. Too tragic. sob
Kaguya-sama: Making a grand entrance, painted for the stage!
Eternally Seventeen: Striving with all one's might!
Eternally Seventeen: Damn it — argh, why am I always one step too slow?!
Terrible Tornado: Together till the very end!
Maidang: Caught completely off guard!
Eternally Seventeen: Hopelessly tangled and complex!
Eternally Seventeen: Finally, finally got one — this was not easy, ugh...
Edward Newgate: Selling the pot and the very iron beneath it!
Crazy Diamond: Hold on, how do you all know this many idioms? Isn't this a China-specific thing? Impressive range, everyone.
Kaguya-sama: ...Pfft, that's just you not paying attention in class, isn't it.
Admiral Kizaru: A heart of solid iron and stone!
Senbei Is So Tasty: All shapes and sizes, uneven throughout!
I'm Rolling In It: Ahaha, "yi," you say? Uncle Tony's got this one!
I'm Rolling In It: One that counts for two!
"..."
Having already grabbed the first envelope, Ryū watched, silent, as Tony Stark walked straight into a perfect, self-inflicted disaster. In an idiom-chain envelope, "one that counts for two" was, functionally, an instant-kill move.
Because there simply wasn't a single Chinese idiom starting with the syllable "lia." Tony Stark had just delivered a checkmate — against himself.
Maidang's envelope, as it turned out, was a genuinely generous one — a full 500 Points, split into 22 shares, exactly enough for every member of the chat.
Ryū had grabbed 80 Points in one go — not quite luck-king territory, but a solid pull all the same.
Sure enough, the instant Tony's "one that counts for two" went out, the entire chat froze collectively.
Even Yukari, youkai sage that she was, couldn't come up with a single idiom starting with "lia."
Nine-Tailed Fox Spirit: "Lia"... pretty sure there's just no idiom that starts with that syllable at all?
Wandering Little Planet: "Innocent childhood sweethearts"??
Eternally Seventeen: That one's "liǎng," not "lia" — different syllable, doesn't count.
Kaguya-sama: Pfft, Mr. Stark just single-handedly broke the whole chain. Genuinely unsolvable.
Edward Newgate: Gurararara, drag Stark out back and finish him off, shall we.
Terrible Tornado: Ten thousand percent agreed!
I'm Rolling In It: Wait — wait a second! Ahem! In my defense, I genuinely didn't realize there was no follow-up!
I'm Rolling In It: No worries, I'll make it up to everyone. Give me a few seconds.
[Member "I'm Rolling In It" has sent a Voice Envelope! Voice message: "Admin-sama is a legend, Uncle Tony is the most handsome."]
Crazy Diamond: [Voice message]
Edward Newgate: What kind of envelope is this? Calling Admin-sama a legend, sure, fine, he genuinely is — but what's this "Tony is the most handsome" business supposed to be?
Senbei Is So Tasty: Drag him out and finish him off, he's a lost cause. Borsalino, go take care of Stark for us.
Admiral Kizaru: H-hold on now! Why exactly am I the one "taking care" of Stark? I may be single, but my tastes run perfectly ordinary, thank you very much!
Kaguya-sama: The genuinely alarming part is that Josuke-oniichan actually recorded and sent his voice message. Terrifying, honestly.
Wandering Little Planet: [Voice message]
Kaguya-sama: Pfft, even Little Sphere's abandoned all sense of shame now? Absolutely unhinged.
Miyaa Miyaa Miyaa: [Voice message]
My True Form Is Cola: Oh no, oh no, even little Hinata's fallen too. Please tell me Eriri's not next, she's supposed to have some dignity left.
Street-Corner Illustrator: Excuse you! My dignity levels are way higher than yours, Umaru!
I'm Rolling In It: [Voice message]
Eternally Seventeen: ...The absolute audacity, calling yourself the most handsome, personally.
"..."
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