— In mind?
— Kind of…- she mumbled mysteriously.
— So, does this mean you're always going to be around now?
— If I want to be, — she answered with a sly smile. — I'm a part of you now, in a way. I "live" in your mind. And while I don't have control over your body, only you can see me. But we can interact as if we're two separate, real people.
A noise came from the next room—his friends were waking up.
— By the way, we don't have to talk like this. I can read your thoughts. I am your thought.
— Leo, is that you?
His friends burst into the kitchen.
— How are you? Who were you talking to?
Leo hesitated, unsure of what to say. He cast a quick glance at his new companion, realizing he didn't even know what to call her.
— Alyx, — she said with a smirk.
— I need to tell you something. But first, how did I even end up in the hospital?
— You weren't answering our messages for a long time before… — Emily started. — I called Steve. We ran over to your place, but you didn't respond to our knocking. We figured it was better to take the risk than to regret it later. Steve kicked the door in, and when we saw you in the bathroom, covered in blood, we called an ambulance immediately. That's the whole story, — she finished, struggling to hold back tears.
— So what was that? — Steve asked, his voice edged with anger. He was mad at Leo, seeing his actions as both cowardice and a betrayal of their friendship.
— Oh, come on. Don't act like you didn't know. My whole life has been a never-ending nightmare. I couldn't take it anymore, and I didn't want to keep going. Asking someone not to do it for someone else is just as selfish as doing it. Why would you ask someone to suffer just so you wouldn't be sad? — Leo said, his voice carrying both pain and defiance. The old wounds in his heart bled through his words.
Alyx, still perched on the table, watched their conversation with amusement and curiosity. She had witnessed thousands of human arguments in her time, and to her, they were nothing more than a nightly drama—entertainment, like a soap opera.
— But that's not what I wanted to tell you! Back in the hospital, when my heart stopped— Emily nodded knowingly; they had seen it through the window of his hospital room— I saw everything that was happening. Yeah, yeah, just like in those cheap Discovery Channel shows about the paranormal. I'd think the same, that it was just the imagination of a dying brain.
— I saw shadows starting to gather around me, like someone was stealing all the light from the room. Then this thick fog started seeping out of my body.
— But we didn't see anything like that! — Emily interrupted, her emotions spilling over as she processed his words.
— Just like the nurse in the room didn't see anything, I think all of this happened on some other level—not in our physical world. — He waved the thought away dismissively, grimacing as he rubbed his sleeve against his arm. The hospital gown, still clinging to him since their escape, felt uncomfortable. When he looked at his hand, he saw fresh blood smeared across his palm. His wounds hadn't fully healed yet, and who knew how long they would take? I wonder if the scars will stay, he thought.
— So, this fog started gathering into a thick silhouette right above my body. It turned into some kind of monster, with disgusting clawed hands and a massive maw. I think it had been feeding on me for years… maybe my whole life. — His voice trailed into thoughtfulness.
Steven shot him a skeptical look, probably thinking this was just a side effect of the anesthesia or prolonged clinical death. He sincerely hoped his friend hadn't suffered any permanent brain damage. The fact that Leo had gone over twelve minutes without a pulse and could still hold a conversation was already a miracle.
— And then what happened? — Emily broke the silence. She didn't sound convinced either, but unlike Steven, there was more concern than doubt in her voice.
— That thing… it started sniffing around, like it was searching for a new victim.
— A victim for what?
— How the hell would I know? I'm just telling you what I saw! — Leo snapped in frustration. — It crouched down, like a cat about to pounce, but instead of leaping at me, it was heading toward the wall. And right in the middle of its jump, something tackled it—some glowing figure.
His friends exchanged uneasy glances, their expressions shifting from confusion to growing concern. The more Leo spoke, the more they started wondering if they had made a mistake pulling him out of the hospital so soon. Maybe they should have let a doctor check him out. Maybe an MRI wouldn't be such a bad idea.
— It knocked that dark figure right out of the air, — Leo continued, — and when it hit the wall, it decided to run. It turned back into mist and slipped through the air vent.
— And what about the other one? The light one? — Steven asked in a condescending tone, like a parent humoring a child.
Leo hesitated, glancing uncertainly at his new companion.
— It… settled inside me, — he finished awkwardly.
— Pfft, what? — Steven let out a short laugh.
Alyx stepped up behind Leo, who was looking increasingly uncertain. For the first time, he noticed the height difference between them. When she had been sitting on the table, he hadn't really thought about it. But now, standing close, her graceful, feminine figure towered at least two heads above him, her wolf-like ears nearly brushing the ceiling of his modest apartment.
— Aaalright, — she drawled. — I don't want you pulling another stunt and jumping out the window just because you've got no friends left. Hold out your hand, I'll show them a trick.
Leo shot her a skeptical look. After everything he had just said, staring silently into empty space probably wasn't making him look any saner. Still, he hesitantly extended his right hand. A sharp pain sliced through his wounded skin, but he barely reacted, only slightly tensing his jaw.
Not knowing what to expect, he braced himself. This is it, he thought. This is the moment my friends finally decide I need a psych eval.
He turned his questioning gaze to Alyx, but she only nodded toward his hand, silently telling him to keep his eyes there.
And then, a fresh, cooling sensation enveloped his entire hand. The pain from his cuts faded almost instantly. His friends—and Leo himself—stared in shock and disbelief at his outstretched fingers.
Slowly, their color and texture began to change. The natural wrinkles and imperfections of human skin disappeared, replaced by a smooth, glossy material that looked almost too perfect. His fingers and wrist—at least what was visible—became more refined, their shape shifting into something elegant, almost otherworldly.
The coolness was soon accompanied by a firm, elastic pressure, like wearing a latex glove, yet he could still feel the air, the environment, every little detail—more acutely than he ever had before. His senses were heightened, not dulled.
Finally, his fingertips elongated slightly, forming small, sharp claws—just like Alyx's. The transformation gave his hand an even more graceful, almost predatory look. His entire arm, like hers, turned a deep, rich black, except for his palm and the undersides of his fingers, which became a striking, pure white.
Leo turned his hand over in awe, marveling at the impossibility of it all, trying to make sense of the bizarre yet strangely exhilarating sensations. The pain, the weakness from his failed attempt to end it all—gone. Replaced by something new. Something… better?
— Woooow… — was all he could manage to whisper.
With her usual slightly arrogant smirk, Alyx stepped aside.
— Enjoy it, loser.
His friends cautiously stepped closer.
— What was that? What does it feel like? Can we touch it? — They all started talking over each other, excitement and disbelief mixing in their voices.
Leo slowly nodded, still unable to form a proper sentence. He was just as shocked as they were. But deep down, he had to admit—this was probably the coolest thing that had ever happened to him.
— What, are you a superhero now? — Steve asked, half-jokingly.
— Don't get your hopes up, — Alyx threw in sarcastically.
— I don't think so, — Leo muttered, finally pulling his gaze away from his transformed hand and looking back at his friends. — But I guess… this is what possessed me after that monster. Or at least, this is what her hand looks like.
— Her? — Emily asked, raising an eyebrow.
— Yeah, — he nodded. — It… she looks like some kind of feline woman. But not like the cheap TV version—a real anthropomorphic cat. She has a huge tail, and her entire body is covered in something that looks just like my hand right now.
— Do you feel her? What does it… feel like?*
— Better than before, — he admitted, flexing his fingers. — No pain from the cuts. It feels so refined, so light… like I could sense even the faintest breeze on my skin.
— Emily gently touched his palm, running her fingers along his transformed fingers.
— This is definitely latex, — she murmured thoughtfully.
— And how do you know that? — Steve smirked.
She shot him a withering glare. — The same way you do. — Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.
Despite the material looking heavy and solid, Leo's hand felt surprisingly light in hers. She turned it over, pressing her fingers into the surface, testing its texture.
— It's… springy, — she noted with amusement.
— Can you keep it like this?
— Why?
— You said you don't feel the pain from your cuts. We could say they're gloves—to hide the scars and let them heal faster. Everyone at the institute probably already knows about your suicide attempts anyway…They saw your scars before, don't you think they have no idea what did you try to do.
Leo lifted his gaze thoughtfully, staring at nothing in particular as he imagined what it would be like to walk around with hands like these. The idea intrigued him more than he expected. He liked the elegance and lightness of his transformed hand—he had always felt a certain heaviness and disconnect from his own body.
Turning to Alyx, who was still watching them with amusement, he asked, "Can you leave it like this? And… can you do the same to the other one?"
She tilted her head, quickly weighing something in her mind, her ears flicking slightly as if she was having an internal debate. Then, after a brief pause, she gave a silent nod.
That same cool sensation wrapped around his other hand, and he felt it shift and reshape, just like before. But something else happened—his first hand also changed again. The small claws disappeared, leaving both hands looking more human, as if covered by sleek, form-fitting gloves.
— At least now you won't be able to kill yourself, — Steve smirked.
— Fuck!
— Does it hurt? — Emily asked.
— I don't know, let's check.
They found a sewing needle in one of the kitchen drawers.
— Why do you even have this here? — Emily asked.
— For darning socks, — Leo shrugged.
He pressed the sharp end against his palm and hissed.
— Yeah, I can feel it. Feels even stronger than before. But there's no blood.
— So you can talk to that… thing? — Emily asked.
— Her name is Alyx. And yeah, I can.
— What does she look like?
Leo glanced at Alyx, who was still watching them with amusement.
— Uh… let's talk about that some other time. She's right here, you know.
Alyx chuckled.
— She said there was a demon inside me, feeding on my soul and energy. When I died, it left my body, and she took its place. She needs a host to interact with this world. That's all I know for now.
— I'll tell you more if I learn anything else. For now… how about breakfast?
They put together a meal from whatever leftovers they could find in the depths of his fridge.
— How do you feel?
— Better. My hands don't hurt, — he smiled, but instinctively adjusted the hospital gown over his legs. There were still traces of fresh blood. The wounds couldn't have healed that fast—especially not cuts that deep. — Everything feels… fresher, sharper.
— Compared to yesterday?
— No. Compared to my entire life. It's hard to explain. I used to feel… detached from everything, like there was a veil between me and the world. Now, it's different. The world isn't suddenly some magical paradise with rainbows and ponies, but at least… I can see it now. Maybe it was because of the demon. I'll ask her about it later.
He instinctively turned to where Alyx had been, but she was gone. For some reason, he felt a sharp sting of loneliness.
Shaking it off, he turned back to his friends.
— She's not here right now, — Leo said thoughtfully.
— Then describe her to us.
— Well… she's a two-meter-tall, anthropomorphic cat woman with a giant tail.
His storytelling skills definitely needed work. For some reason, he didn't want to talk about her too much—like it was something personal.
He hesitated.
— Let's talk about it another time. I'm tired.
— Fine, but promise us you won't try to do this again as soon as we leave?
— You know you can tell us anything. You didn't have to let it get this far.
— I didn't see another way, — he muttered, staring down at the floor.
An awkward silence filled the room, then suddenly, Emily threw herself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug.
Steven sighed and stepped in too, pulling both of them into the embrace.
It was the best thing they could've done for him in that moment.
Leo felt a warm gratitude swell inside him, along with a small sting of guilt—for putting them through so much.
They said their goodbyes, agreeing to meet in two days and go to the institute together. Leo felt uneasy about going alone after the rumors about his suicide attempt—and with his new hands. Though one thing perfectly explained the other, and it shouldn't raise too many suspicions, even if it looked strange.
Closing the door and stepping back into his now-empty apartment, he did what he always did after his friends left—scanned the space with reddened eyes.
A wave of crushing loneliness washed over him once again.
Passing through the kitchen, he collapsed onto the mattress and instantly fell asleep. The blood loss and overall exhaustion were finally catching up to him.