The Problem of Length
My life was spent killing time every single day.
The news constantly ran stories about how "young people who don't work" were becoming a social problem.
It felt like those reports were personally criticizing me, so I rarely watched TV.
Not that I was doing anything productive instead.
Most of the time I lay in bed, scrolling through community forums on my phone and snickering at random joke posts.
Looking as shabby and pitiful as instant-ramen broth dried and stuck to the floor, I was reading those joke posts again that day.
***
[Title: Distributing 240 Between Height + Weight + Dick Length.txt]
Apparently, there were a lot of people with nothing better to do—just like me.
That meaningless post had already received over a hundred comments.
Everyone eagerly expressed opinions that nobody else really cared about.
(Anonymous1) Average height 174, weight 50, dick 16 sounds good =
(Anonymous2) 177 / 50 / 13
These were extremely ordinary choices.
But in truth, people had probably thought hard about them.
(Anonymous5) Height 185, weight 40, dick 15
ㄴ(Anonymous1) Can someone even live normally at 185 and 40kg? lol
ㄴ(Anonymous5) That's actually my current specs
(Anonymous7) 160 / 45kg with a king-size 35cm
ㄴ(Anonymous1) Bullshit lol
Of course, many people were just throwing out random nonsense.
Suddenly, I became a bit serious.
If it were me, how would I distribute it?
No matter how you divide 240, it seemed hard to be satisfied.
Just as I was about to click back out of the post, feeling empty, a comment with the most upvotes caught my eye.
(Anonymous32) 190cm 70kg -20cm
ㄴ(Anonymous31) What do you mean minus??
ㄴ(Anonymous48) I like strong women.
ㄴ(Anonymous50) If a woman is 190 and 70kg that's perfect lol
ㄴ(Anonymous72) Just become an athlete. 190 and 70 is ideal.
ㄴ(Anonymous54) Genius
Wow… that was clever.
I couldn't help but admire it.
If you boldly give up one thing, you can gain something else.
Of course, the thing you had to give up was something very important…
Still, I had found the post interesting.
As time passed, it faded from memory.
Who would have thought that much later, that post would come back to mind again?
It was because of the thing floating right in front of my eyes.
***
[Please distribute your stats.]
※ Warning: Once a stat is set, it cannot be changed. Distribute carefully.
What should I even call this translucent window?
A status window?
A status screen?
A message?
Something you'd expect to see in a game was clearly appearing in reality.
If it was true that I died after being smashed by a falling sign during the rare outing I took… then perhaps this place was the afterlife.
"...I'm not in a coma right now, am I?"
It was a terrifying thought.
But when I collapsed, I definitely heard people shouting, "Ahh! Is that his brain?!"
So I must be dead.
With great tension, I read the sentence below.
Distributable Stats: 60Available Categories:
[Mental Strength] [Health] [Luck] [Potential] [Background]
"What the hell is this…?"
I'd read plenty of web novels where someone dies and enters a game world.
After all, web novels were one of the things I used to waste my time.
But I barely played games myself, and these stats looked strange even for a game.
Usually you'd see things like Strength, Agility, Intelligence, Magic Power, and so on.
But Potential?
Background?
What were those supposed to mean?
First of all, the lowest stat must be 1 and the highest 20.
Fortunately, there was an explanation.
***
※ The average stat for a standard human is 10.
Your next life will be determined according to the stats you distribute.
***
So if Mental Strength is 10, that means the average person's mental strength.
The same would apply to Luck, Health, and the rest.
"How should I distribute this…?"
As I muttered to myself, I realized something.
I was actually a little excited.
Wasn't this a second chance?
I died pointlessly, yet I didn't even feel that sad.
Instead, my heart was racing.
***
First, I needed to analyze what these unusual categories meant.
Mental Strength, Health, and Luck were intuitive.
All three were important.
Since the average person had 10, my stats in my previous life were probably something like:
Mental Strength: 4Health: 5Luck: 7
My mind was rotten, my body was weak, and my luck wasn't great either.
"If I divide them evenly… that's 12 each. Not bad."
This was far better than dividing that awkward number 240 between height, weight, and that length.
If I just set everything to 12, I'd live a life slightly above average!
I was about to distribute them evenly.
"…"
But my finger stopped.
Compared to my miserable previous life, even an average life would be a blessing.
Yet somehow… I wanted to live a special life this time.
"…Potential. Background."
Let's think about those first.
The word Potential was vague.
Did it mean talent?
Potential for studying?
Potential for athletics?
At the very least, it was something my previous self definitely didn't have.
I tried music, studying, and even art.
But I had absolutely no talent in any of them.
Of course, it didn't help that I lacked perseverance and quit quickly.
Meanwhile, Background felt easy to understand.
Wasn't this about your "spoon"—your birth circumstances?
Who you're born to.
Where you're born.
If the world I reincarnate into isn't Earth, then this might determine whether I'm born a commoner or a noble.
"…Wait. If the other things are good, couldn't I overcome this?"
A sudden realization struck me.
Just like that comment that boldly assigned negative length to gain better stats elsewhere.
"If I max out Mental Strength, Luck, Health, and Potential… maybe I can sacrifice Background a little."
In fact, unlike my pathetic life, my parents had been wealthy.
They divorced, but I still grew up comfortably without lacking anything.
That's why I could spend my life unemployed.
Even if I were born with a bad background this time, couldn't I live well as long as the other stats were strong?
***
While I was thinking deeply, the status window began blinking ominously.
That made up my mind.
And so the stats I distributed were…
[Mental Strength] 20*
[Health] 10
[Luck] 9
[Potential] 20*
[Background] 1*
"Whoa…"
As soon as I made the bold decision, the stats that reached 20 turned bold.
What made me slightly uneasy was that the Background set to 1 was also flashing ominously.
Sure enough, a voice echoed.
***
[Bold choice. Mental Strength has been set to 20.
You will possess an indomitable mind.
Even when facing the most hideous demon or the greatest god, your heart will not break.]
It was a strangely atmospheric voice.
And the explanation was extremely satisfying.
Mental Strength was the stat I valued most.
Because my mentality in my previous life had been garbage.
I gave up easily.
I got hurt easily.
And I always blamed others or my environment.
I wouldn't live like that anymore.
***
[You are born with average health.
You will not suffer incurable diseases, but you will not be extraordinarily healthy either.]
[You are born with average luck.
You will neither encounter life-changing fortune nor absurd misfortune.]
I was satisfied with average health and luck.
The most important things were Mental Strength, and the Potential that could bloom through effort.
***
[Bold choice. Potential has been set to 20.
Your soul will possess limitless possibilities.
If you do not give up, and if overwhelming misfortune does not strike, one day you will bloom brilliantly.]
Excellent.
This life would be different.
I wouldn't live aimlessly like before.
My heart pounded as the voice began explaining the stat I was most nervous about—
Background.
***
[Extreme choice. Background has been set to 1.
You will be born into the worst possible environment.
What becomes of you will be entirely your responsibility.
Your beginning will be the most humble…]
"…What it will become, we cannot yet know."
An extreme choice.
Well… I had expected that much.
Being born into an ordinary family was probably out of the question.
I might even start life as an orphan without parents.
Since my Health stat wasn't low, I just hoped I wouldn't be born with some physical disability…
Still, I believed I could overcome it.
But it didn't take long for me to realize how naive those predictions were…
how light my resolve really had been.
***
The Sija Forest
The sija tree was a species commonly found in this frontier region.
Because it thrived in fertile soil and warm, humid climates, the forest here was incredibly dense.
Thick foliage blocked out most of the sunlight, making the forest dim even at midday.
The ground was damp, and with little wind, moss grew everywhere.
There were people walking through that forest.
The Sija Forest was notorious for being full of monsters, yet their steps were confident and unhesitating.
Even the local inhabitants usually watched their footing carefully because of venomous Serpents and insects.
But what was there to fear when wearing clanking full plate armor?
Besides, the man wearing that armor was someone even the local lord feared.
The local farmer guiding him swallowed nervously.
"Steel Gunter… they say he's not even the strongest of the Eight Heroes, but he's terrifying."
Recently, a dangerous monster had migrated into the Sija Forest.
After it killed several of the lord's soldiers, the lord requested help from the capital.
And the one who came was Gunter, one of the Eight Heroes.
***
"Is it there?"
Gunter asked in a heavy voice.
He pointed toward a cave nestled in a cliff deep inside the forest.
The farmer quickly replied.
"Yes, that's the nest. That thing settled in there."
"Then we'll wait here."
***
Gunter was famous for the dramatic path of his life.
Unlike the other heroes, he had been born into the lowest class.
Yet he possessed a mind like steel—and even greater talent.
Starting as a mercenary, he rose to become one of the kingdom's Eight Heroes with nothing but a halberd.
To the villagers here, he seemed almost mythical.
***
How long had they waited?
Gunter, who had been sitting against a tree, suddenly stood up.
"It's coming."
No one else sensed anything.
But soon enough, an ominous sound echoed from the cave.
Hiss… hiss…
The farmer felt chills crawl down his spine.
Something massive was sliding out of the darkness.
***
"Close your eyes. Unless you want to turn to stone."
At Gunter's warning, everyone squeezed their eyes shut.
Only a few brave men pulled out hand mirrors, hoping to watch Gunter's battle indirectly.
The farmer was one of them.
Using his worn mirror, he stared toward the cave.
That way he could avoid the monster's gaze.
"G–gasp…"
He involuntarily inhaled.
What emerged was a terrifying monster.
That thing wasn't just a Serpent.
Although its name included the word serpent, how could a monster have the face of a woman?
A Serpent's body as thick as a giant tree trunk.
And a human face.
Its hair—each strand—was actually a small Serpent.
Green Serpents fluttered from its head, hissing and baring venomous fangs.
***
"Shiiirrr—"
From the Medusa Serpent's lips flicked a long purple tongue.
Its enchanting eyes fixed on Gunter.
Anyone without resistance would freeze into stone the moment they met its gaze.
***
But Gunter didn't even flinch.
He charged forward.
Halberd raised, rushing straight in with reckless honesty.
When the farmer noticed that Gunter's eyes were closed, he nearly screamed.
"SSSAAAK!"
The Medusa Serpent opened its massive jaws and lunged.
Even with armor on, if that enormous mouth bit down on him, he'd be crushed instantly.
***
What happened next was too fast for the farmer's eyes to follow.
A flash.
Gunter leaped high into the air—
And swung his massive halberd.
***
Slice—THUD!
The Medusa Serpent's head was severed.
Its headless body thrashed violently in every direction.
But Gunter calmly shook the blood off his weapon.
"Tell the lord the monster has been slain."
"…Y–yes!"
The farmer's legs trembled.
One strike.
With a single blow, Gunter had killed that monster.
What he saw today would be something he bragged about for the rest of his life.
***
"Ah—! Aaaah!"
Someone screamed.
A horrifying sight unfolded.
The Medusa Serpent's hair—those thousands of tiny Serpents—began falling from the severed head.
The little Serpents didn't dare approach Gunter.
Instead, they scrambled back toward the cave where their mother had lived.
***
"What should we do about those?"
The farmer asked without thinking.
Gunter looked at him coldly.
"You expect me to hunt down those little Serpents too?"
"S–sorry!"
The farmer immediately dropped to his knees, bowing his head.
"…Is that cave closed off inside?"
"Yes."
"Then have the soldiers handle it. Burn it if necessary."
***
Gunter said that and turned away without hesitation.
The farmers left behind could only stare at the cave in confusion.
Thousands of Serpents poured inside like a swarm of insects.
"Guess we'll have to guard this place."
"Let's at least start a fire… anyone got rations?"
The baby Serpents weren't very dangerous, but the farmers sighed.
One of them pointed at the writhing mass.
"Hey, there's a white one mixed in there."
"Probably just white-scaled. Hah."
*
Yes.
And among those thousands of tiny Serpents…
one of them was me.
Born unusually small and weak.
A white individual.
***
[Little White Serpent Lv.1]
The Medusa Serpent raises her young by attaching them to her head.
So after hatching, I clung to my mother's body to survive.
…until that monstrous bastard chopped my mother's head off.
"Damn it! Does 'background' include species too?!"
I was prepared to be born poor.
I was prepared to grow up in an orphanage under a cruel director.
But a Serpent?
And not just a Serpent—but the baby of a monster Serpent?
What kind of bullshit is this?
***
Just then, my mother's headless body thrashed wildly and crushed several of my siblings.
I almost died.
Barely slipping past the bloodied remains of my brothers and sisters, I crawled away.
***
[You have acquired the skill: Fast Crawling Lv.1]
[Due to your innate Potential, your proficiency increases rapidly.]
Potential, my ass.
I crawled desperately.