So this is how it ends.A drunken driver.
I should have been scared. Panicking. Regretting everything I never did. My whole life should have been flashing before my eyes, every dream that never came true, every moment I wasted, the family I loved despite the distance between us.
Not that there were many highlights in my life.
I was never confident. Never popular. I never even had a single friend. No matter how hard I tried, I was never normal like the others. I never knew what to say. After rejection after rejection, whenever I tried to show a glimpse of my real self, even I eventually gave up on myself.
Too scared of more judgment, I gave up everything.
I hid from life itself because I was too afraid to try living it.
I spent my whole life trying to be invisible.
I almost never smiled around other people anymore. I never cried out my grievances. I never spoke up for myself. Little by little, I buried my emotions because I was afraid of being judged again.
In the end, I gave up on myself.
I never saw a future for myself. I just dragged myself through life, despite not having the will to live, trying not to be a burden to my family, the only people obligated to like me. Yet even then, I could never imagine a future where I was truly happy. After all, who could genuinely like someone like me?
So I stopped trying.
I never made an effort with my appearance, even though I hated the girl staring back at me in the mirror. It would not have been enough anyway. I wore whatever helped me hide the most, never daring to try beautiful clothes because they would only look ugly on me.
I even gave up my dream of pursuing music.
I loved singing.
When I was alone, when no one could hear me, I would sometimes sing quietly to myself. For those few moments, I could pretend I was someone else. Someone brave. Someone confident. Someone worth listening to.
Instead, I threw myself into any form of entertainment I could find just to distract myself. Films, series, sitcoms, anime, fanfiction. Anything that could fill the silence.
For brief moments, I could be the protagonist of those stories. Because in real life, I was always just an extra, even in the script of my own life.
But reality always came back.
I knew I would never become a singer. Who would listen to someone like me? I would only become a joke.
So I chose computer science. Something I was good at. A stable major. Something practical with little social interaction. A way to blend into the crowd even more.
In the end, the only thought that crossed my mind was a quiet one.
Finally.
Finally, I would not have to wake up tomorrow and pretend everything was fine.
Finally, I would not have to watch everyone else live their lives while I stood on the sidelines.
Finally, I would not have to be the invisible girl no one ever noticed.
The darkness slowly closed in.
And just before everything disappeared, one last thought crossed my mind.
Maybe.
In another life, things would be different.