Chapter 13 - chapter thirteen pt two

It was maybe another hour before a knock on Zanka's door interrupted Riyo's story about how Follo had a theory Bro Santa was secretly dating someone, and Enjin's muffled voice sounded out from the hallway.

"Zanka, you in there?"

"Yeah, one second."

He got up, ignoring Riyo's groans about how she was justgetting to the good part, and unlocked the door, swinging it open. 

"Yo," Enjin said with a raised hand, "hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Zanka shook his head.

"Of course not."

"I was just telling him about Bro's secret girlfriend." Riyo chimed in from behind. 

Enjin pursed his lips like he was trying not to laugh.

"Right. Well, don't let me stop you, I just wanted to tell you that the boss man said he's free all day today, so you can meet with him whenever, if you're still feeling up to it." 

That was good news, even if it caused a knot of anxiety in Zanka's stomach. The sooner he could figure out exactly what the situation was regarding his status and Jabber's, the sooner he could make a concrete plan. 

"I can do it now. Hold on."

"Now?"

Zanka walked back to grab Assistaff off his desk, now fully dry. Already she felt better in his hands than before. More stable, making him more stable in return. 

"Okay. We can go." He said.

"You're sure you wanna do this right now?" Enjin questioned, and Zanka shrugged.

"No use putting it off."

Enjin looked over at Riyo for support, but she just raised her hands.

"Hey, don't look at me." She laughed. "I'd probably do the same honestly. Rip the bandage off." 

Enjin just groaned. 

"Ugh. Fine. Okay, c'mon." 

...

When they entered the office Corvus was sitting behind his desk, as expected, and Semiu was standing off to his left. 

The only surprise was Rudo, sitting in one of a few chairs set up across the desk from the Boss. 

"Come on in, take a seat." Corvus said warmly, and Zanka settled himself into the chair directly opposite his desk. Riyo sat in the last empty chair, and Enjin stayed standing behind them. "I appreciate you coming in so soon. This is more of an informal debrief, and you can take it at your own pace. If you ever need to stop, we can always continue later. Sound good?"

"Sure, but why's Rudo gotta be here?" Zanka asked, more confused than insulted, though it apparently seemed to come out much more as the latter from the face Rudo pulled. 

"Up yours, shithead." Rudo said with crossed arms.

"He's the one currently taking care of Wonger's vital instrument," explained Semiu. "so we figured it was important for him to know the full details of what happened to it." 

Mankira had been with Rudo?? Huh. 

Though admittedly, out of all the possibilities Zanka had imagined of where she'd ended up, Rudo caring for her wasprobably the best option. Even with his grudge towards Jabber as a whole, Zanka knew he didn't have it in his heart to be cruel to any object. 

"You can start whenever you're ready." said Corvus, breaking him out of his thoughts.

He tried to figure out where to begin.

He needed to be careful. Not knowing what Jabber had told them meant he'd need to toe the line between being honest without being too honest. If he left out something Jabber had told them it would make him look like he was hiding something, and if he spoke too much about things Jabber had left out it might make them more biased against him. 

And on top of that was the fact that there were certainthings he'd really rather not expose if he didn't have to, and he could only pray that Jabber hadn't already run his mouth off about them. Another layer of difficulty. 

Corvus seemed to sense his hesitance, and gave him a warm look.

"We don't need you to go over everything. If you'd like, we can just tell you what Jabber told us and have you fill in any gaps or make any corrections as we go."

Zanka noticed Semiu glance her eyes over to Corvus just briefly with an unreadable look before they returned to Zanka. 

It seemed too good to be true, and part of him worried it might be some sort of test. But even if it was, it was probably better than having to fly blind. Hopefully.

Zanka nodded after a moment, hoping he was making the right choice.

"Yeah, alright. sure."

"Great. Before we get too into the specifics, I'll have you confirm the general story we got from Jabber, which is that you two were both taken by some sort of unknown organization and kept prisoner for the purposes of experimentation on you and your vital instruments, before eventually breaking out and coming back here, that right?"

He noticed Riyo and Rudo tense at the blunt mention of experimentation. 

Seemed like he wasn't the only one ripping the bandage off.

"Yeah, that's right." 

"Okay. I think it would make the most sense to go chronologically for now, and unfortunately that's where our gaps begin. What happened on the day you were taken?"

Zanka hadn't thought of that day in a while. It felt so long ago now, even though it really hadn't been. He hardly felt like the same person; in a way it almost felt like someone else's memories. 

"We were on a job to deal with some burrowing trash beasts. A goliath showed, and we split up. I'd just finished my quadrant and was about to head back when I...got hit with a tranquilizer dart in the neck." It was embarrassing to say out loud. He should have noticed him, then none of it would have happened. "I tried to send a message to warn everyone but I wasn't fast enough for it to make any sense."

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Enjin subtly rest a hand on Riyo's shoulder when he mentioned the choker call. He kept talking.

"I think the tranquilizer was supposed to fully put me to sleep, but it didn't. So he knocked me out with some sort of baton while I was on the ground." 

"We found blood." Enjin said, nodding. "Not much, but..." 

But still enough to confirm something had happened to him. That, plus the burrowing trash beasts...it was no wonder they'd thought he was dead. 

"After that, I don't remember anything til wakin up in the cells. And even that's kinda hazy. I think I was concussed for a bit. Sorry."

"That's alright." Corvus said easily. "Jabber said you both had some sort of collar attached to you by the time you reached the cell?" 

Zanka brought a hand up to his neck on instinct, feeling the phantom weight of the metal.

"Yeah. They had a needle in the back that could inject us with more tranquilizer, and they also worked as shock collars."

He faintly heard Riyo inhale sharply through her nose at that, but couldn't bring himself to look over. 

"They were controlled by these little remotes the guards had. One for each of us. Whenever one of 'em had to come into our cells to cuff us and bring us to the lab, the one with the remote for that person would stay outside. As insurance, if that makes any sense?"

Corvus nodded.

"It does. There were only the two guards, right? Tweedledee and Tweedledum?"

A laugh escaped Zanka, surprising even him. He shook his head at the questioning looks, embarrassed.

"Sorry, just...those weren't actually their names. That's just what Jabber called 'em. I dunno what their real names were, they never told us." 

"No need to apologize. I thought that might be the case." 

"And yeah, it was just the two of them. Most of the time. There were other guards, we ran into some of 'em during our escape, but before then we only saw those two and the scientists." 

At the mention of the scientists Corvus leaned slightly more forward. 

"What can you tell us about them? Did they ever explain their motives or who they were with?" 

Zanka ran a thumb over Assistaff. Even just thinking about them, about the lab, the memory of them touching and threatening Lovely Assistaff while he couldn't do anything but watch was enough to make him just as sick with anger as he'd been the first day. 

"There was this old man. Never learned his name either. He wanted to...figure out givers, I guess. What made us different. He always talked about how it was for the 'good of humanity' and something about givers bein a 'dying breed.' He had a couple assistants, one of them was the guy who took me. Ivan, I think his name was. The other was some woman, she was the one who took Jabber. I didn't meet her til the escape, she was only at Jabber's....sessions. And vice versa with my guy. We called 'em blow dart guy and bob girl when we didn't know their names, and it stuck."

The boss hummed.

"And what can you tell us about the facility in general?" 

"It was big. There were a lot of rooms we never went in. Lotta empty cells, too. They called Jabber and I G012-a and G012-b, my best guess was the g was for giver but who really knows. They had a pretty established routine, I don't think....we definitely weren't the first." 

Zanka wondered how many other people hadn't made it out. Givers and non-givers who were dragged down there and never made their way back up. People missing without a trace. All the notebooks in the doctors office. 

"Okay, is there any other background knowledge we should know?" 

Zanka searched his memory. 

"I don't think so."

"Alright, if anything comes to mind don't hesitate to say it. Jabber said you'd be taken one at a time to the labs, how long were you usually in there?"

"I dunno. Felt like hours. I think it varied depending on what they were testin that day. For a lot of them they'd go til we passed out, so I dunno how much time normally passed between that and bein shocked awake so they could do it again." And again. And again. And-

Zanka felt Enjin's hand on his shoulder this time and snapped back into reality. Damn it. He had to keep it together. He swallowed, and his throat felt dry. 

"Anyway. Best guess is somewhere between one to four hours? Coulda been less though. Or more."

The room was oppressively silent, and even the boss seemed to take a beat before he continued.

"And that was a daily occurrence?"

"Mostly, yeah. They'd occasionally have days where we didn't, but it seemed to either be random or so we could recover from something. The longest stretch without a lab visit was three days, and that was only cause I got shot."

"During your first escape attempt, correct?"

So they knew about that. The real question though was if they knew about what happened after. 

"Yeah. I didn't get very far. Think I just pissed 'em off more than anything. It was a stupid plan, the only reason I was even able to get as far as I did was cause Jabber knocked my remote off the taller guards belt."

"He mentioned that, but it seemed like more of an accident. What was he originally supposed to do?" 

"He wasn't supposed to do anythin. I didn't even tell him I was gonna make a break for it. He's just got a stupid fast reaction time, and for some reason, he decided to help me." 

"Jabber decided to help?" Interjected Rudo, speaking for the first time since Zanka started. "Why?"

Zanka wasn't completely sure himself. Obviously, by the end, they'd both had a vested interest in keeping the other alive, but back near the beginning Zanka had never been quite sure if Jabber's assistance had been purely with the intention to help Zanka or just him taking advantage of the chaos. 

"Didn't ask. I guess there was a sorta inherent camaraderie from our situation, but I was pretty resistant to workin with him for a while. After that happened though, we started to plan together a bit more, but it was still kinda tenuous til..." Zanka faltered.

Until Mankira had been broken. Until they'd finally both crossed the line and told each other everything. Trusted each other with everything. 

"...Until?" prompted Corvus after a beat of silence. 

He took a deep breath.

"Jabber..." Somehow it felt wrong to talk out loud about Mankira breaking. But he couldn't exactly avoid it. "Jabber was ahead of me, timeline wise, for experiments. I think partly cause I had that stretch of days after I tried to run where I was just recovering from the gunshot, and also partly cause they had to be more extreme with Mankira, for their tests."

"We'll do the minimum damage possible, since we have that luxury with yours."

He held Assistaff tight, and it felt like he could feel her reaching out back to him. 

"One day...bob girl broke her. Her left pinky ring. As part of a test." 

He could feel the general reaction to that in the room, and he glanced to the side and saw Rudo making a fist so tight Zanka swore he could hear it as he looked at the floor.

"Semiu said that was probably what happened, but..." Rudo sounded furious, the same level of anger as when he talked about the sphere, and Zanka found himself glad again that Rudo was the one looking after Mankira. 

"Do you know about how far in that was?" Corvus asked. "An approximation is fine."

"It was maybe a week or so after the escape attempt, and that was...two and a half weeks in? Maybe three? So somewhere between the fourth and fifth week, I think. Its hard to remember honestly, I shoulda kept a day tally, but we were passed out so often and the lights never changed, we could never figure out what time it was. Coulda gone off meals I guess, but they'd withhold food sometimes if we acted up, so that was never concrete either. Plus, sometimes I swear they'd skip one just to throw us off. Or they forgot. I dunno." He looked down at Assistaff again, thinking about just how many things he'd never get full answers to. "I dunno." He repeated, quieter. 

He shook his head to banish the thoughts.

"Anyway. We knew we didn't have much time left if they were damagin our instruments, and my infection was getting pretty bad so-"

"Infection?" Enjin asked.

"Oh. Yeah, after they shot me during the escape, it didn't heal too well. Tried to do my best to keep it clean, but there was only so much water could do in the cells. We knew we had to get out before I became completely useless, so we picked a good day between sedative refills and went for it." 

He took a deep breath and ran his thumb along Assistaff again. Time for the escape. 

"We killed the guards."

Better to face it head on.

"There was probably a way to get out without killing them, but we didn't have a lot of options and...I wanted them dead. I was the one who did it. Jabber got them to let their guard down, and when the taller guard went into his cell to cuff him for the labs Jabber grabbed his gun from the holster and threw it to me, and I shot them both in the head before they could get us first."

He could feel Riyo's eyes on him, probably putting things together. He didn't look over at her.

"Jabber had the keys. If he'd wanted to, he could've just left me there, but he didn't." He needed to make sure to emphasize that part. "Once we were out of the cells we got each others collars off and went to find our instruments in the labs. We split up at one point to look, and I found bob girl. She told me where our instruments were and gave me a ring of keys on the condition I wouldn't kill her." He swallowed. "I took them, and then I shot her anyways." 

"You did what you had to, Zanka." Enjin said gently.

Zanka just shook his head, still unable to meet their eyes. He hadn't.

He hadn't needed to. Sure, she was a threat, and it had been the right move strategically to take her out of commission and let Jabber finish her off. But he hadn't done it strategically. He'd done it because he needed to see her in pain. He'd done it because he'd wanted to give Jabber his revenge. Give Mankira her revenge.

Shooting bob girl in the knee so she couldn't run. Hitting blow dart guy with the intention to hurt rather than kill. Leaving the old man bleeding and paralyzed to slowly burn alive in his own research. All of it had been optional. He'd chosen that cruelty, over and over again. And the worst part was that he'd still do it again in a heartbeat, even now. 

He felt sick.

"We could've left." he said quietly, barely louder than a whisper. "Jabber offered for us to just go. We had our instruments, we knew where the exit was. We could've. I chose for us to stay longer. I wanted the old man dead. I wanted all of them..." 

He hadn't been able to stand the idea of the old man still being alive, somewhere out there. Of anyone who was a part of that place still being alive. He'd probably never be able to get a good nights sleep again if he knew they were still out there. (Though it wasn't like he'd been able to so far anyway.)

"We can stop," said Enjin. "I think that's-"

"No." He needed to finish. For Jabber's sake. "It's fine. We got up to the surface with the elevator, and I blocked the doors so it couldn't go back down. Jabber had set some sort of bomb with this gas in the lab, and me blocking the door made it so no one else could get out."

How many people had been trapped down there? The staff had deserved it, but he'd realized at some point afterwards that for all he and Jabber knew, their area of cells hadn't been the only one. There could've been any number of other people just like them. And Zanka might have doomed them the same fiery death as their captors without even thinking twice.

He'd never be able to know for sure.

"Zanka?" The boss prompted, and Zanka realized he'd gone silent again. 

"Sorry. Um," He needed to keep it together. "There were a few people keeping watch on the roof. Jabber got the car and I shot them down while we were driving away, but not before they got a couple hits on us first. Jabber got hit in the arm, and I got hit in the side. He gave me his sash thing to try and help the bleedin, but with the infection and everything else I passed out pretty quick once the adrenaline was gone. And after that, I kinda faded in and out til we reached the city." 

He'd woken up briefly when the car had stopped at some town. Jabber had gotten out, and Zanka had blearily heard talking, that then turned into a man shouting, before very quickly going eerily quiet. 

Jabber had taken him out the car and moved him and Assistaff to a different one, and when Zanka had looked up at Jabber while being carried he'd had a new spot of blood on his cheek. Zanka remembered he'd hazily reached up to wipe it away and Jabber had jolted so hard that he'd almost dropped him. 

Jabber had said something to him that Zanka couldn't remember, and pretty soon after that they'd started driving again, and Zanka passed out once more until they reached the city Cleaner HQ was in. 

In hindsight, it was easy to put together that Jabber had killed some guy for the car, and Zanka was almost more concerned with the fact that he felt more grateful than disgusted at that realization. Sure, the man could've been a trafficker or a smuggler, but there was every chance he'd been entirely innocent and upstanding. And still Zanka couldn't hate Jabber for doing it. If the roles had been reversed there was a good chance he would've done the same. 

"I was awake enough to mostly direct him once we got to the city. He could drive in a straight line well enough, which I'm pretty sure is how he made it there in the first place, but anything more than single turn and he was completely useless. Eventually we made it to HQ though, and you all know the story from there." he finished, and then before anyone could speak, added "He chose to bring me here. I didn't ask him to, it wasn't part of a deal or anythin. He brought me here cause he knew we had a healer. I dunno if I woulda made it if he didn't."

The boss hummed, contemplative, and there was a brief silence while he seemed to go over everything in his head.

"Alright. Thank you Zanka, I know this couldn't have been easy. If anything else that could be important comes back to you, please don't hesitate to let us know." 

Zanka nodded, already bracing himself for whatever came next. 

"I've asked you a lot, do you have any questions for us?" Corvus asked.

The only important question was about Jabber. But that was probably jumping the gun a bit. 

"I guess just...what happens now?"

"For now, you'll focus on recovering while we look into what you've told us. Depending on how soon you'd like to get back to work, we'll have Eisha give you a checkup to clear you physically, then go from there." 

...Huh.

"So I'm still a Cleaner?"

"Of course, if you'd still like to be." 

Okay. He wasn't kicked out then. That was good. That was really good. But he was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

"I guess I'm just..confused what my punishment is?" 

"For what?"

Zanka balked, composure temporarily fracturing as he sputtered.

"For- For killing people! For- everythin! The shit I did in there wasn't exactly Cleaner behavior."

"You weren't operating as a Cleaner in that situation." Corvus said easily. "Now, I'm not saying you can go around killing people whenever you're off the clock, but I think if there was ever a situation where we could make an exception to the rule, its this one." 

"But I still- There can't just be no consequences." Zanka said incredulously.

"Have you considered that maybe you've already paid them?"

Zanka blinked, pausing.

"...what?"

Corvus crossed his hands together on his desk, giving Zanka another kind look that seemed to bore right through him.

"Zanka, the things that you went through in that place, they were horrible. And as the leader of the Cleaners I want to personally apologize that we were unable to locate and extract you, and that you had to take drastic measures to escape on your own. I think even if disciplinary action wasappropriate, you've already paid that debt in full. And then some. If I can be frank, Zanka, you've suffered enough. I feel no need to add to it."

"But..." Zanka felt inside-out again. "Okay, but what about Jabber? Whats gonna happen to him?" 

"He's a bit of a different case, given his past history with us. But his assistance in your return and cooperation so far hasn't gone unnoticed, I promise that. Our deal with the Hell Guard requires that we update them about this kind of event within a week of it happening. Technically, something of this caliber would usually call for a more immediate update, but I don't think anyone could blame us for getting caught up in the miraculous return of one of our members. Of course, I still intend to make the report before our one-week deadline is up, and what happens after that is entirely out of my hands, but I see no reason to rush it. After all, Jabber's being here could still provide us useful information about the Raiders that the Hell Guard's more physical methods might not be able to extract. And a lot can happen in a week."

The way Corvus talked, implications hidden underneath levels of plausible deniability, reminded Zanka of Kyouka, of the political way she always spoke. 

Zanka got the message. It wasn't perfect, and he'd still definitely have to break Jabber out himself, but it seemed like the boss might be willing to lessen or even entirely absolve the punishment for doing so, though Zanka suspected that hinged heavily on the amount of useful information he was able to convince Jabber to give up. 

Still though, it was so much better than what he'd been prepared for. It was almost hard to believe.

"Understood. Thank you." 

"No need to thank me. We should be thanking you, you've given us some very valuable info, and potentially stopped a dangerous future threat. Try to remember that as you move forward." 

He hadn't done it for any reason as heroic as that. But the idea that because of what he and Jabber did, there wouldn't be anyone else dragged down there...

It did help. A bit.

"I will. Thank you. Can I go?"

"Almost. I'd like you to have a quick one on one talk with Semiu. Just standard procedure, and you're welcome to stay here, the rest of us can wait outside."

Enjin had a look that made Zanka suspect that it was not, in fact, standard procedure, but all the same everyone cleared out until it was just him and Semiu in the boss's office. 

Somehow, it was more nervewracking than the regular meeting.

Semiu walked over and half-sat on Corvus's desk, Zanka following her every move and trying to read her face as she did. 

"Relax. You're not in trouble. I just needed to check in with you about something Eisha brought to my attention that I noticed on Jabber as well. Ringing any bells?" 

Zanka furrowed his brow, confused. The mention of Eisha threw him off. He knew Jabber had been healed by her, maybe something had happened during that?

At his confused look Semiu just sighed, taking off her glasses and massaging the bridge of her nose while she muttered something under her breath about why she always had to be the one to have these talks, before putting them back on and leveling a look at Zanka. 

"Y'all both had some serious hickeys. Given that neither of you mentioned how they happened I just need to make sure you're not leaving out any major factors of your imprisonment."

Ah. Zanka's face was burning and he resisted the urge to curl up into a ball and wither away. 

"That, uh. Those happened during the escape. We...I got a bit caught up in it."

Semiu held up a hand.

"I don't need to know the details. As long as it was with each other and fully consensual."

Zanka was going to throw himself off the roof. 

"It was."

"Good. And I take it y'all were safe about anything else you did? Someone gave you the talk at some point, yeah?"

Zanka nodded, feeling maybe the most embarrassed he'd ever felt, and just thanked whatever cosmic entity was listening that his team wasn't in the room with him. 

"Yes."

"Okay, good. That's all I needed to know, you can head out." 

He didn't need to be told twice, getting up and moving to leave the room with Assistaff, but something made him pause before he touched the door handle. 

He turned back to Semiu, still watching him. 

"...That's it? I'm really not in trouble? For...what happened with Jabber?"

"As long as y'all were safe that part's none of our business." She said, shrugging. "That being said though, if you plan to continue whatever you got goin on with him, things get a bit more complicated." Didn't Zanka know it. "But whatever you decide to do there, I don't need to know about it." 

Huh. It seemed Semiu was willing to turn a blind eye to his...whatever it was with Jabber, if for no reason other than disinterest, but he found himself filled with gratitude nonetheless. He decided to try his luck, just a bit. 

"Do ya think...could I see him?"

"You gotta ask Enjin about that."

Damn it.

"Why Enjin?"

"Policy is that no ones allowed in a holding room without team leader permission and two people outside. Not that it comes up much."

Zanka hadn't even known they'd had a policy for that. He wondered if Semiu had looked it up specifically because of him. 

"Don't ya outrank him though?"

Semiu looked a bit smug at the reminder.

"Yeah, technically."

"Then couldn't I just get your permission?" 

"You could. But I think you need to talk with him about this. This isn't the kinda thing you can go behind his back about, and I think you know it." 

Ugh. He did.

At least Semiu hadn't outright said no. 

"Alright. Thank you."

She waved him off and he turned back to the door to open it. 

Once he stepped out into the hallway, Zanka was surprised to only see Riyo and Rudo out there waiting. He looked around.

"Where's Enjin?"

"Walked off with the boss to talk about something, dunno what." Answered Riyo, shrugging. 

Huh. Zanka would have to find him once he was done with his talk to ask about visiting Jabber. In the meantime though...

He turned to Rudo.

"How's Mankira?"

 ...

It was a few hours before he was able to finally track Enjin down, and by the look on his face when Zanka finally found him, it hadn't been accidental. Semiu had definitely said something then.

Zanka cut straight to the point.

"I wanna see Jabber."

Enjin sighed, scratching the back of his head.

"Yeahhh, no. I'm not so sure that's a good idea."

Before, that would have been it. Zanka would have treated Enjin's word as law, he would never have even consideredpushing back. Even now, the knowledge that he was probably disappointing Enjin burned like a hole in his stomach, but he needed to see Jabber. He had to.

"Ya know the full story now, he wasn't the one who took me. We worked together, he helped me, he brought me here. He's not gonna- I dunno, hurt me or whatever ya think he's gonna do."

"That's not what I'm-" Enjin exhaled. "That's not the onlything I'm worried about. Look, you're still a kid and a lot of messed up stuff has happened to you-"

"I'm not a kid." Zanka interrupted, frustration finally slipping through the cracks. 

"You are a kid though. In the grand scheme of things? Yeah. And this kind of thing messes a person up. Makes them do things they normally wouldn't." Enjin ran a hand through his hair. "I just don't want you to get yourself further tangled up in something you're gonna regret later."

"I can make my own decisions."

"I'm not saying you can't." Enjin replied diplomatically. "But I think you need to look inside yourself and really figure out what you're feeling and why you're feeling it now."

Zanka wanted to laugh. It would've been so much easier if he didn't know exactly what he was feeling. If he hadn't finally pulled back the curtain and looked inside himself, having to come to terms with what he found there. His and Jabber's shared experiences had made them finally burn together, exploding into something new, but the spark had been there for a long time now.

Enjin continued talking.

"Look, I get it. And I can tell you that he's just fine, but I really don't think seeing him is a good idea."

That wasn't enough. The idea of Jabber, trapped again, so close to him while Zanka walked around free felt so wrong. 

"Enjin. I've never asked you for anything. And I won't ever again. Please, just let me see him."

They stared off for a moment that seemed to stretch on forever, before eventually Enjin threw back his head with a loud groan, seemingly speaking towards the ceiling.

"Damnit." Enjin muttered. "How am I supposed to say no to that?"

...

Enjin brought him down to Jabber's holding room in the basement. Standing outside the door this time were Gris and another supporter Zanka had seen around but couldn't remember the name of at the moment.

At the sight of Zanka walking behind Enjin, Gris raised a brow, but didn't say anything. 

"Take it easy Carlo, me and Gris got it for now." Enjin said to the other supporter, clapping him lightly on the shoulder. 

"Don't have to tell me twice, good luck with him." The other supporter said with a slight laugh, motioning his head towards the door. He gave Gris a lazy two-fingered salute and Zanka a nod of acknowledgement before heading back down the hall. Zanka didn't take his eyes off the door. 

"You sure you wanna do this? Not too late to turn around." Enjin questioned, half-joking. 

Zanka just nodded.

"I'm sure." 

Enjin sighed. "Alright, Gris and I will be right outside, and we'll be able to hear everything, so if you need anything just yell. And no funny business either." 

Zanka ignored the last part, steeling himself as he pushed the door open and finally walked into the room.

Jabber was laying on the bed again, in a clean white t-shirt that looked a size or two too big and black sweatpants, seemingly tearing a piece of the bedsheet into smaller and smaller strips. At the sound of the door opening he looked up, and when he saw it was Zanka his face lit up. Zanka ignored the way it made his chest feel.

"Oh hey! Was wonderin when you'd finally show Zan-zan, took you a while. Those guys wouldn't tell me anything, almost thought you died or something."

Zanka felt his eye twitch.

"As if I'd let that shitty ass bullet kill me."

"That's what I said!" Jabber laughed. "And they didn't even get mad so I figured you were probably fine."

Zanka looked around. The room was small and plain, with a cot pressed against the right wall and a small table next to it, and on the other side of the room was a doorless opening to an area with a meager shower, toilet, and sink. No windows. 

"Pretty nice right, compared to the cells its like a luxury hotel in here. They even turn out the lights at night. Though for some reason they keep ignoring my request for a bedtime story." Jabber said, grinning as he sat up.

Zanka didn't meet his eyes. It was still a cell. Nicer, sure, but Jabber was still trapped. And this time it was Zanka's fault. 

"Yo, you just gonna keep standing over there looking like a kicked puppy or what? Not like I got cooties or something."

He wanted to rush over to Jabber, had since the moment he'd opened the door. But they weren't in the facility anymore. It was different now. And they weren't alone here.

"Enjin and Gris are right outside, y'know."

Jabber's eyes twinkled with mirth.

"Not exactly where my mind was going, but I don't mind putting on a show if you don't."

Zanka turned bright red.

"Shut the fuck up."

Jabber just laughed, thankfully not pushing him further. He smoothed out and patted the area of the bed next to where he was sitting, and Zanka heaved out a mostly performative sigh as he walked over. 

Sitting on the bed next to him, Jabber knocked their shoulders together. 

"Much better, huh?"

From here he could see the small window in the door, and through it, Enjin and Gris not-so-subtly peeking through at them. He gave them an unamused look, and Jabber snickered and wiggled his fingers at them in a teasing wave before tossing his arm around Zanka's shoulder and pulling them together. Zanka elbowed him hard in the ribs and he let go, giggling as he did.

At the exchange, Gris looked somewhere between exasperated and relieved, and Enjin looked like he was going to pop a blood vessel. Gris moved out of the direct view of the window, and apparently dragged a still-seething Enjin with him.

"Man, those guys are pretty fun. Totally thought I killed that dude with the scar over his eye, lowkey scared the shit outta me when I got a good look at him. Thought I was seein ghosts. Guess he's tougher than he looks though, even if he's not a giver. And umbrella guy, oh man. You shoulda seen his face when I brought you in, he looked almost as pissed as you did when we met! Mad strong too, yanked me around like it was nothing, even when I was holding you. And that weapon of his, damn..."

Jabber kept talking, and the sound of it faded softly into the background, finally soothing a part of Zanka that had been on edge ever since he woke up alone in the infirmary. 

He hadn't noticed he'd been drifting off until Jabber poked him in the cheek and his eyes shot open.

"Dude, you really fallin asleep sitting up? The bed's right here."

Zanka blinked harshly, and forced himself to sit back up straight.

"I'm fine."

"Liar. I can see your eyebags, y'know. You havin trouble sleeping without me? Need me to keep away the nightmares?" He teased.

yes.

"I can just leave you here, ya know."

They both knew he wouldn't, but Jabber played along.

"Aw c'mon, I never said I wouldn't do it. Here."

Jabber moved so he was laying on the bed, leaving a space next to him open for Zanka.

Zanka looked at him suspiciously, and Jabber just put his hands up, the picture of innocence. Idiot.

Zanka sighed again, leaning Assistaff against the wall, and laid down on the bed next to him, side pressed against Jabber's from the lack of space. 

"There. That's better, huh?"

It is.

He just gave Jabber a light kick and closed his eyes. Just for a minute, then he'd get up.

Jabber started talking again, something about all the new Cleaners he'd met who he wanted to fight, and in what order. And though it should have been troubling, the sound of his voice lulled Zanka easily back into sleep, falling into a soft and blissful unconsciousness faster than he had in a long time. 

...

Zanka was warm. Not the intense, feverish heat his infection had caused, but a nice, soothing warmth that emanated mostly from whatever he was laying on. He blearily heard two whispered voices in his periphery. 

"-et the kid sleep Enjin, you said yourself that he needed it."

"Yeah but not like this! You are seeing the same thing I am, right?"

"Zanka was the one who initiated it, and he's not doing anything."

Zanka felt the vibration of vocal chords near his head as a melodic voice from right above teased with a lilt. "Yeah man, I ain't even doing anything." 

"Motherf- Gris, lemme go, I gotta teach this punk a lesson!!"

"No, you're gonna wake Zanka up!"

At the increase in volume Zanka groaned, and the voices stopped. He buried his head further into the dark warmth, trying to muffle everything else. 

Whatever he was laying on shook below him slightly with quiet laughter, and Zanka made another displeased sound, shorter and more insistent.

The laughter calmed down, and a familiar pair of lightly calloused hands traced apologetic circles on his lower back and shoulder.

At the feeling he just gave a pleased hum and let his muscles relax, melting into it. He wasn't quite awake yet, and tried to fall back into sleep while he still could. 

The voices started up again, much quieter this time.

"Come on, you should give them their space."

"...I can't believe you of all people are okay with this."

"Oh I'm not, but I remember being that age once. The more you try to push back the more he'll dig his heels in, trust me. I did."

"I'm sorry, you had a rebellious phase?"

A soft laugh.

"I'll tell you about it later. You didn't miss much." A brief pause, and then the same voice from a bit further away. "Oh, and Jabber? Do not make me regret this."

He felt the same vocal chords as before vibrate as he heard a low hum and the sound of a door closing. 

"Huh. Might have to change that list slightly, dude's got more fire in him than I thought, huh Zan-zan."

Zanka made another wordless noncommittal noise that would hopefully allow him to just go back to sleep in peace, and a single huffed laugh was what he got in response.

The hand on his shoulder moved to the back of his neck, skilled fingers playing with the area his hair started while the thumb rubbed circles around the sensitive skin where the needle from the collar had stayed. It was nice, and he was back out within seconds. 

...

When Zanka woke up again he didn't even have the luxury of disorientation, opening his eyes feeling well-rested, alert, and absolutely mortified about all the memories that came flooding in of how he'd acted in his delirious half-asleep state. He was also still laying on Jabber, who it seemed was now asleep instead, one arm around Zanka's waist and legs intertwined with his own. The combination of the position and the knowledge that Enjin of all people had seen him snuggling up to his arch nemesis made him want to crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment, and part of him was glad his face was still pressed against Jabber's neck, so even if Enjin and Gris were looking in, they couldn't see him turning bright red. 

Zanka took a few deep breaths to calm himself down, and apparently the feel of them against Jabber's neck caused him to shiver in his sleep and hold Zanka's waist a bit tighter. He really hoped no one was looking.

He maneuvered slightly, trying to get his hands off Jabber's chest and onto the bed so he could push himself up without waking him, and even got as far as being able to plant one hand on the side of Jabber's head and one by his shoulder and push his upper body up, before Jabber groaned sleepily and his other arm moved to loop with the first around Zanka's waist more securely, keeping him locked in place. 

Zanka let out a groan of his own, though his was one of pure annoyance, and gave up on not waking Jabber. He shifted to balance on one arm, and used his other hand to flick Jabber on the forehead, between his eyes. Jabber groaned again and his nose wrinkled, grip around Zanka tightening once more.

"Alright, lemme go ya damn limpet. I got places to be."

"Mmmmmn, nahh" 

Jabber's voice had the same delicious raspiness it always did when he'd just woken up, and his eyes made no move to open. 

"I'm serious, I'm probably in enough trouble as it is. And so are you."

"Hmm. Evens out then. We're good."

"No it does not!"

Jabber swallowed as he smiled, eyes still closed, and Zanka was reminded that Jabber's throat was now entirely devoid of the marks he'd left in the elevator. He ignored how disappointed it made him feel.

"C'mon man," Murmured Jabber, still half asleep. "I already had'ta letcha go once, I ain't gonna do it again so soon." 

Zanka didn't say anything to that, and Jabber finally cracked his eyes open just slightly with a slow blink to see Zanka hovering above him, Zanka's hair almost touching his face. Their eyes met and Jabber cracked a lazy grin, eyes shining.

"Hey there, Mr. Bad Attitude." 

Zanka felt his stomach flip.

"My attitude's gonna get a whole lot worse if ya don't lemme get up."

"Aw c'mon, don't pretend you couldn't get outta this if you wanted. This all it takes to keep you down?" He said, hugging Zanka's waist tighter just briefly, before relaxing his grip again.

"Idiot. Ya know damn well if the other cleaners see me havin to fight ya to leave there's no chance in hell they'll let me come back."

Jabber laughed quietly, and withdrew one of his hands to snake it upwards, tucking a piece of hair behind Zanka's left ear, and keeping it there instead of around his waist.

"That better?"

Like this, Zanka could definitely get out without too much issue. He should. He needed to go do massive damage control, and every second that he stayed increased the risk of the damage being even bigger. He needed to go. 

...Jabber really did look beautiful like this, though. Locs splayed around him on the pillow, looking up at Zanka. Face soft in a way it normally only was during sleep.

...Zanka stayed, glaring at Jabber, whose smile only got bigger. His thumb and pointer finger fidgeted with the upper part of Zanka's left ear, just a hair harsher than could be considered gentle, and he watched Jabbers eyes move to it. 

"Huh. Grew back. Didn't think cartilage could do that."

Right, his only injury from the mad dash to the elevator. 

"Not like the wound was very deep. Might just be skin, the bullet only grazed me."

"Still too damn close if you ask me." 

Zanka rolled his eyes, scoffing.

"Never took ya for the type to be such a worrywart. I was fine, wasn't I? Just like I told ya I'd be." 

"And I told you we'd be fine to have some fun after, didn't stop you from worryin' then." 

Zanka could feel himself turning red.

"That- was completely different! You-" He looked down at Jabber's stupid, grinning face and realized he was falling for it again. "I really hate you, y'know that?"

Jabber's eyes crinkled like he was remembering something funny.

"Good." 

Asshole. Zanka did hate him. He hated his smug energy, his natural talent, his effortless ability to reach into Zanka's core and drag the real him up to the surface by force. He hated his laugh, and his smile, and the way he was always humming to himself when he'd loudly crack every joint he had. Hated the sounds he made when something hurt just right, when Zanka hurt him just right, he hated how he made Zanka feel. Made him want. Desperately. And worse still was that there was more to Jabber even beyond that. Something deeper and worse than hatred between them. And more than anything else, Zanka hated the fact that he couldn't get enough of it. 

He couldn't stop looking down at Jabber, whose expression was still devastatingly soft, just like it had been in the nightmare where he'd traded his freedom for Zanka's own, and all at once Zanka was overcome with the sudden, all-consuming urge to kiss him, if for no other reason than to remind himself that Jabber was really there. 

Jabber, as if reading his mind, looked down at his lips, lingering there for a moment, before moving his gaze back up to Zanka's eyes. He raised his eyebrows challengingly, clearly waiting for Zanka to make the first move this time. 

Zanka took a moment to remind himself of the laundry list of reasons why it would be a terrible idea to kiss Jabber so blatantly, especially when he still had no clue who could be looking in. And then the very next moment Jabber took a breath like he was getting ready to speak and Zanka threw the list out the window, leaning down and pressing his lips against Jabber's to shut him up. 

Jabber got with the program immediately and Zanka took it slow, choosing to savor and enjoy the kiss in a way he hadn't been truly able to in the feverish rush of their escape. Jabber's lips were chapped and bitten, and the roughness against his own somehow just made it better. Zanka broke apart just slightly to readjust and get a better angle before starting again, and he felt Jabber hum against his lips, pleased. 

Zanka broke the kiss before things got too heated, suddenly filled with emotion to bursting and he pressed his forehead against Jabber's, noses touching as they caught their breaths.

"We made it out." Zanka whispered.

"Sure did." He could hear the smile in Jabber's voice.

"We actually made it."

"Hey, don't go sounding too surprised now. No shot those posers would've taken us out for good."

Us. The both of them, together. Like they were a package deal. Like they were equals. 

Jabber held Zanka to a higher standard, not in the way his family or the academy did, where they expected and demanded perfection; nor in the way Enjin did, where he believed in Zanka's ability to one day make something amazing of himself if he just worked hard enough. 

No, Jabber expected more of him in a way that spoke of him already knowing Zanka was capable of it, a higher level not a threat imposed on him or a goal to run towards but something that was already his if he was willing to take it. 

The idea was almost painfully laughable. They were on different levels entirely, as much as he despised admitting it. That much had been proven time and time again. Jabber was a genius, the type of natural talent Zanka would never be. 

...But there was something in the way Jabber looked at him, in the way he fought, both with and against him, that told him Jabber didn't see him chasing towards his back trying to catch up, but instead saw Zanka walking right next to him, only wondering why he was dragging his feet. It was addicting. 

Zanka lifted his forehead off Jabber's, moving his right hand to cradle the side of Jabber's face and kissed him again without warning as he closed his eyes, trying to convey something he couldn't say. He felt Jabber's one remaining hand on his waist twitch. Zanka didn't let the kiss linger too long, moving to put his head back in the crook of Jabber's neck like it had been when he woke up, sure his expression would betray far too much. 

He felt more than he heard Jabber laugh.

"Didn't expect you to be so touchy, tough guy."

"Yer one to talk, asshole." Zanka spoke into Jabber's neck, feeling his lips brush against the skin with every word. He could smell that sharp ozone smell again, more potent this close and not buried under grime and sweat. He let it wash over him. 

"I ain't say it was a bad thing, just surprising is all. Kinda weird to see you like this." 

"Ya wanna talk weird, yer the one who won't stop lookin' at me like that." 

"Like what?" Jabber asked, tone teasing but with an undercurrent of genuine curiosity. And with an even smaller hint of what might have been caution. 

Like you love me. Like this is more than what it is. 

"...Ya just got a stupid look. Stupider than normal." 

"Oh? You been lookin at my face a lot?" Jabber purred.

"Would ya rather I looked somewhere else?"

"I got a few ideas."

Zanka snorted.

He pushed himself back up to hover his face over Jabber's again, looking down at him.

Jabber still had that look on his face, now with an added mischief, but the softness remained underneath. It was starting to drive Zanka crazy.

"That look." 

Jabber laughed.

"Okay now I know you're just talkin out your ass, cause I'm definitely making a different face than before."

Not to me.

Jabber was good at putting up a front, but Zanka knew him too well now. 

I can see right through you.

Jabber's eyes stayed infuriatingly soft even as his smile fell slightly. 

"So, how's Mankira?"

Zanka's smile dropped. Mankira, now partly broken, permanently trapped in her smaller form, and having been taken from her user again. Even if she was in safer hands this time it didn't change the fact that it was Zanka's fault Jabber couldn't have her by his side the way he had Assistaff. 

He'd fix that though, as soon as he could.

"She's alright. I'm sure she misses you. Rudo's taking good care of her though, he doesn't handle her too much, he cleaned all the blood off, and she's shinier than I've seen her in a bit. He was real upset to hear about her last ring, I think he's been tryin to take extra good care of her because of it. Keeps her in a little fancy jewlery box and everythin." Zanka smiled despite himself. "He might not like you, but he's got no grudge to hold against Mankira." 

Jabber returned the smile, and Zanka could tell it was genuine.

"Good. Between you and Bundus I figured she'd be just fine with him. For now at least." 

Zanka frowned. Even if Jabber was mostly sure, it had still been a risk. And even if it hadn't been, Zanka knew heprobably wouldn't have been able to give up Lovely Assistaff indefinitely that soon after getting her back. 

But Jabber had. 

"Why'd you do it?" Zanka asked. "Ya coulda run."

Jabber snorted.

"You were pretty messed up so I ain't gonna hold it against you, but I think you're forgetting the whole 'umbrella to the throat' thing. Plus your little friend with the hair was packin' heat again."

It was reasonable. Jabber had been surrounded in enemy territory, and most people would have difficulty getting away while exhausted and injured, being held at gunpoint, or with a weapon to their throat, much less all three at once. 

But Jabber wasn't most people. 

"Ya still coulda made it."

Jabber paused, then exhaled some air from his nose as a laugh.

"...Yeah, I probably could've."

"So why?" Zanka pushed. 

Jabber stared up at him for a moment, then broke eye contact, and his cheeks just barely turned pink. Zanka watched, transfixed. 

"Told you already, didn't I?" Jabber muttered. "Same reason you stayed in here. Wasn't gonna ditch you that easy after everything." He met Zanka's eyes again and grinned. "And besides, no take-backs, you're stuck with me now." 

"As if I wasn't before." Zanka mumbled, his voice coming out far fonder than he meant it to. 

He felt Jabber's hand on his waist twitch slightly once more.

"Lovely looks better, by the way." Jabber said.

The sudden switch in topic caught Zanka off guard at first, and then he felt something in him preen hearing Jabber refer to his instrument by the first part of her name, instead of shortening it to the second like everyone else did, including him most times. 

Something about Jabber calling her Lovely made him glow, and he tamped it down before he was too obvious about it. 

Very belatedly, he realized he'd had no issue setting Lovely Assistaff up against the wall when he'd laid down with Jabber. There had been no fear, no residual anxiety that something would happen to her while he was asleep and vulnerable. Without realizing, he'd implicitly trusted Jabber to look out for her in his stead. 

Because of course Jabber would. He wouldn't let anything happen to her now, the same way Zanka would make sure nothing happened to Mankira before he got her back to him. 

Well. Nothing else.

If only Zanka had been able to find the pieces of her ring, maybe she could have been fixed...if only he'd just trusted Jabber enough to tell him about his first escape plan, maybe they could've gotten out before she'd even been broken...

The feeling of Jabber's left thumb rubbing absentmindedly at his waist brought him back to the present, and he realized Jabber was probably still waiting for a response, looking up at him, now with a slight curiosity in his eyes. Zanka avoided them, choosing to look at one of the brass pieces in his hair instead.

He tried, not for the first time, to shove deep down the grief and shame of what he'd let happen to Lovely Assistaff. He could deal with that on his own. It wouldn't be fair to say all that to Jabber now. Not when he'd had it so much worse. 

"Yeah, well. Compared to Mankira, Lovely Assistaff got off easy. Her damage was nothin." 

"Not nothing." Jabber said softly, once again reminding Zanka that Jabber could see right through him, too. 

"....No. Not nothin. But she'll be okay. I can fix her." 

"Good. Y'all still owe me and Mankira some fights. I stuck to my end of the deal, you better stick to yours."

Zanka had almost forgotten about the deal. As many battles as Jabber wanted, in exchange for never mentioning what had happened after their fight in the cells. After everything during the escape, after Zanka had finally decided to stop denying how much he wanted him, part of him had assumed the deal to be null and void. But clearly Jabber hadn't. 

That also confirmed Jabber hadn't mentioned their little tryst to the cleaners while being interrogated, and a large weight felt like it had been removed from Zanka's shoulders. Still though, it technically only applied to the one time.

"What'd ya tell the cleaners? About..." He made a vague motion between the two of them. 

"Don't worry, I left out all the nasty stuff." Jabber grinned. "You shoulda seen Umbrella guy's face when he finally noticed the artwork you left on my neck, dude prolly woulda had an aneurysm if I'd brought up any a' the other shit." 

Crap. If there had been any remaining doubt on Enjin's behalf as to who had left those marks on Jabber, Zanka crawling into bed with him had definitely eliminated it. Zanka groaned.

"Enjin's gonna kill me."

Jabber just laughed.

"Ay, if you're dying anyway, at least run it back before ya go." Jabber said, tilting his chin up and showcasing his bare skin with a glint in his eye. "Open canvas."

Zanka's mouth felt dry and he felt heat pool low in his stomach. The idea of sinking his teeth into Jabber's neck, of sucking more marks into the skin and drinking in the sounds he'd make, was almost too tempting to resist. Almost. 

"Shut up." He said instead, pushing Jabber's face to the side. "Freak."

"C'mon, don't pretend you weren't into it. I saw that look." Jabber laughed.

"Ya didn't see shit." Zanka replied, and to his mild annoyance he could hear the grin in his own voice. 

Jabber looked back up at him and Zanka wanted so badly to kiss the stupid smile right off his face, but he resisted this time. 

He had more control than that. For now.

"By the way, it's soundproof in here right?" Jabber questioned. "Haven't been able to hear jack shit from the outside."

"Only in one direction. Shikage did somethin to it, Eisha talked about it once. Inside, you can't hear anythin, but from out there, you can hear in well enough. So don't get any funny ideas."

"Ahhh, yeah, that would explain it."

Uh oh.

"Explain what?"

"Why those two are looking at us like that."

Zanka swiveled his head around towards the door so fast he felt his neck pop. Staring at them through the small window in the door were Riyo and Rudo; Riyo with an expression that landed somewhere between bewildered and offended, and Rudo with a look Zanka could only describe as abject horror and disgust.

Zanka scrambled to get off Jabber's chest, accidentally elbowing him in the ribs and partially knee-ing him in the dick as he did, making Jabber laugh around involuntary pained noises.

"Damn dude, watch the merchandise!"

"How long have they been there?!"

Jabber shrugged.

"How am I supposed to know, I just noticed 'em a few seconds ago."

"You-" Zanka growled, then realized he couldn't even reasonably be mad at Jabber, and Jabber definitely knew it too, smirking at Zanka from his place on the bed with eyebrows raised. 

He looked way too damn good like that, lounging on his elbows with that look on his face, and Zanka was equally relieved and frustrated that he had to leave before he did something really stupid. 

He grabbed Lovely Assistaff and started moving towards the door. 

Once he was nearly there he paused, turning back to look at Jabber, who was fully sitting up now but still looking at Zanka, cracking every knuckle in his hands and rubbing his thumb soothingly over each digit, lingering on the areas where Mankira was supposed to be. Zanka wanted to replace Jabber's hands with his own. 

"...I'll come back." Zanka promised. 

"Obviously." Jabber grinned, but Zanka noticed the smallest amount of tension leave his shoulders. 

Zanka gave him a small nod, and then braced himself as he exited into the hall.

Tomme and Gris were out there too, standing off to the side looking somewhat sheepish. 

The door clicked closed behind him, and Zanka avoided everyone's eyes as he made sure to step out of the view of the window, already feeling his face was hot. He faced his body towards Riyo and Rudo, still too mortified to look them in the eyes.

"...Okay, how many chore shifts would I have to cover for both of you to forget ya saw any of that?"

"More than you have in you." Riyo answered instantly. "So when were you gonna tell us about that little development huh??" She said with a laugh, sounding almost hysterical. 

"Jabber? Really??" Rudo questioned, looking at Zanka like he'd personally betrayed him. 

Zanka just put his face in his hands and groaned. Yeah, there had been no chance of that working from the start. 

He felt Tomme put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry Zanka, we really tried to keep them from looking, but, well..."

"You know those two." Gris finished, sounding both embarrassed and fond.

"Not yer fault." Zanka muttered from behind his hands.

It was his own damn fault. He'd been stupid. Careless. He'd known that kissing Jabber, staying in bed with Jabber, hell, even crawling into bed with him in the first place had been monumentally stupid. But he'd done it anyway, too desperate to balm the ache his absence had caused and too used to an environment where he didn't have to care what others thought; where for the first time he'd been able to just take what he wanted.

"How much did you see?" He groaned, already sure he wouldn't like whatever the answer was. 

"If you're asking if we saw you lock lips with that shithead, the answer is yes." Said Rudo bluntly, and Zanka wanted to die. That had been so early on too. Zanka needed to find some hole to crawl into and never come out of. 

"Honestly I'm just surprised I didn't see it coming." Said Riyo. "I mean I knew you guys had some sort of weird thing going on but I figured it was one-sided at best. When the hell did that happen??"

Zanka cringed.

"It was...gradual?"

"Oh yeah, sure, Jabber really strikes me as the 'slow and steady' type." Riyo said with a laugh, still looking completely overwhelmed. "Seriously, was that going on before??" 

"No! Absolutely not. It's...new." 

"Didn't he almost kill you?" Questioned Rudo, "Twice??" 

"Oh my god was that flirting? Was that doing it for you??"

"Can we not talk about this here?!" Zanka strangled out, looking over at Tomme and Gris who, to their credit, were making a valiant effort to pretend like they weren't overhearing. 

"Sure, sure, we can go up to my room." Said Riyo. "But I want all the details!"

"That ain't..." Zanka sighed deep from his soul, running his hands over his face and resigning himself to his fate. "Fine..."

Riyo cheered, and Zanka turned back to Tomme and Gris, trying to figure out how to phrase his plea for them not to say anything, but Tomme was apparently already one step ahead, and made a motion like she was zipping her lips shut, and Gris did the same with a knowing look.

He felt that same warm feeling in his heart at the silent show of understanding, and gave them both a grateful nod before letting Riyo drag him up the stairs, Rudo trailing behind. 

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

...

As soon as Riyo's door shut behind them the questions began.

"Okay but seriously, how did that happen?"

"Why him?" Asked Rudo, looking completely lost. 

Zanka groaned, weighing the pros and cons of just throwing himself out of Riyo's window instead.

"There wasn't really a single point where it happened, it just...kinda did."

"But I thought you hated him??" Rudo grilled.

"Trust me, I do." 

And Zanka did. Probably even more now. He internally cursed Jabber for making him go through this, especially because Jabber was probably pissing himself laughing about it right now. Asshole. 

"Sure didn't look like you hated him." Challenged Rudo, and Zanka wanted to throttle him. 

"And it didn't look very new either." Added Riyo with a grin.

"Whose side are you on?" Zanka incredulously asked Riyo, betrayed. 

"Oh come on, can you blame me? You never tell me about anyone you're into and then suddenly you're acting like an old married couple with the Ground's craziest purple freakshow?" 

He'd always thought of Jabber as more pink than purple, but making that point now would not help his case. 

"We ain't- look, it's...complicated, okay? I dunno how it even happened."

"Right, the old 'took a wrong turn and fell in love with my arch enemy', that classic mistake." Riyo said as she nodded solemnly. 

"Riyo." He groaned.

"Alright, alright." She laughed. "I just can't believe that after all this time that's your type. I was way off." 

"He is not my- my type!" Zanka sputtered. "I don't have a type, he's just-!" 

Riyo raised an eyebrow and the count of people in the room Zanka wanted to throttle increased to two. Hell, maybe three, if it would put him out of his misery. 

"He's just...I dunno, okay??"

"But it's Jabber." Interjected Rudo, still looking completely baffled. "He's a Raider. And isn't he like...a masochist??"

Zanka cringed, unable to dispute either point. He could feel his face getting hot.

"Wow. Guess that's what works for you guys, huh? Man. It really is always the quiet ones..." Mused Riyo.

"Would ya please take this seriously?" Groaned Zanka.

"Sorry, sorry, just. I can't believe I'm still learning new things about you." 

"He almost killed you." Repeated Rudo, like he was worried zanka hadn't heard it the first time. 

"And one day I'm gonna kill him." Zanka muttered.

"What??" Rudo said, looking entirely lost and concerned. "Is this some weird Ground thing? How can you date someone and wanna kill them?!" 

"First of all, we are not dating!" 

"Mmmm, I dunno." Interjected Riyo with a grin. "That didn't look like friendship to me, unless I've been seriouslymisinterpreting some things." 

"We ain't friends either." Zanka grit out.

"If you're not dating and you're not friends then what the hell was that??" asked Rudo.

"Guess that leaves a purely physical relationship, then." Stated Riyo matter-of-factly. 

"A what?" asked Rudo.

"Riyo!" Zanka hissed, scandalized, as his cheeks turned red. 

Rudo's brow furrowed and he looked even more confused. Then his face changed as he seemed to slowly realize what Riyo was implying. 

"Oh. Gross." He said, nose wrinkling in disgust. 

Zanka was seriously going to kill somebody. 

"That is not what's happening." Zanka said, trying to salvage any dignity he had left. 

Rudo, as usual, didn't look like he believed him, and still looked distinctly grossed out as he turned to the door.

"Yeah, I'm out actually. You two can talk about whatever." 

Zanka wanted to rip his hair out. It was probably better that Rudo was leaving, Zanka certainly wasn't going to ask him to stay while he talked about Jabber, but it was still beyond mortifying.

Rudo opened the door and then stopped, staring a hole into the floor. 

"If Jabber.....if you ever need to kill him or some shit, I wouldn't mind teaming up again. Worked pretty well last time." 

...Huh. Apparently that was Rudo's version of a shovel talk, and though Zanka was a bit annoyed at the implication that he'd need Rudo's help to kill Jabber, part of him did feel oddly touched at the sentiment. 

"When I kill him, I'll do it by myself." he said flatly. "But...thanks." 

Rudo's cheeks were pink.

"Yeah, whatever." He muttered, and left the room, closing the door behind him. 

Zanka turned to Riyo, still embarrassed. 

"Did ya have to bring that all up in front of Rudo?"

"C'mon, that was fair play. I'm practically obligated to give you shit about your horrible taste, and I've got a lot of time to make up for. Plus, it got him to leave eventually, and now he probably won't wanna bring it up with you ever again." 

So she'd intentionally gotten Rudo to leave then.

"I'm guessin that means you got more questions?"

"Tons." 

Zanka sighed, then suddenly the implications of Rudo having left hit him. 

"Wait, shit, what if he says somethin-"

"He won't. Gris and Tomme swore us to secrecy. Apparently Enjin did the same for Tomme when he had to leave for a job. Rudo won't snitch, we both made a promise."

"Oh. Thanks."

Riyo fondly rolled her eyes.

"Naturally. Though y'know if you'd just told me from the beginning we coulda avoided this whole thing. We only went looking cause we couldn't find you and Enjin was being weirdly vague." 

"To be fair, I didn't think I'd be in there that long. Damn bastard put me to sleep."

Riyo chuckled, and then got a bit somber. 

"But seriously." Riyo said, looking down with an unreadable expression. "Why didn't you tell me? I woulda kept it secret, and we definitely could've saved Rudo some mental scarring." 

Her tone was light, but Zanka could tell it was only because she was intentionally keeping it that way. The question was heavy, a hesitance and hurt under the surface that bled through only because Riyo was letting it. The irony of it wasn't lost on him.

"I don't know." He said truthfully. "I really was going to, eventually, I just...wasn't really sure how things would play out, I guess." 

His feelings hadn't changed, but there had been a part of him that really wasn't sure if what he'd had with Jabber in the cells would actually extend once they were out. And even though it made everything infinitely more complicated, there was an overwhelming relief in the confirmation that it did. That it would.

He sighed. 

"Honestly I'm shocked yer takin it this well. Thought you'd be the first to tell me how insane I'm being." 

"Oh it's insane for sure. Batshit actually. And honestly, when I first saw you two like that, I was ready to go in and yank you off him myself to smack some sense into you, regardless of what Tomme and Gris said."

"Why didn't ya?" 

Riyo took a second to respond.

"....I saw his face, when you put your head in his neck. Thought he'd notice us, but his eyes were only on you. And damn it Zanka, he looked absolutely whipped. I didn't even know he could make a face like that, it was kind of disgustingly sappy, actually. Guess it sorta just stunned me in place for a little bit. And then you guys started talking, and we couldn't make out everything, but he was just so...soft, it was freaky. He was like a completely different person." 

Maybe it was because he knew Jabber so intimately now, or because the change had been so gradual, but somehow this version of Jabber didn't feel contrary to the one he'd known before. Just deeper, more honest. But still the same Jabber. Though from an outside perspective, the contrast must have been jarring. 

"Look," Riyo continued "regardless of how I feel about him, its obvious you guys are head over heels for each other, so-"

"Okay, I am not 'head over heels' for him." Zanka scoffed, and Riyo raised a brow at him in response.

"I saw the way you looked at him too y'know." She said, then softened a bit. "I've known you a long time, Zanka. And I've never seen you look at anyone like that. I can't fathom why, but he makes you happy. And you deserve to be happy."

Happy, huh?

Zanka stared at the floor.

"It's just gonna end badly."

She shrugged.

"It might, yeah. But what if it doesn't?" she said, and Zanka looked up at her. "I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but I know you, and I know that yeah, you'd be absolutely devastatedif you loved him and got your heart broken. But it would kill you if you never tried because you were scared. It would haunt you every single day, you'd torture yourself with the 'what if's. I know you would! Is it more risky than a normal relationship? Absolutely! Do I think it's insane that your first real boyfriend is a maniac with knives for fingers who publicly gets off on having the shit beaten out of him? For sure! But you care about him, and clearly he cares about you, and just once I want you to choose your own happiness without feeling fucking guilty about it!" 

Zanka just stared at her. 

"I got carried away there." She said somewhat embarrassed. "But I'm serious. I'm not saying you shouldn't be cautious, but don't get in your own way because you're bracing for impact. Maybe it'll work out, maybe it won't, but I think its at least worth a shot. ...Even if I think you could definitely do better." 

He felt the corners of his lips twitch up.

"...It's gonna be a mess. I don't exactly know how to do this kinda shit."

"I seriously doubt he does either. You can figure it out together. Or do your own thing." 

...He liked the sound of that.

"I guess we will." He said. "Thank you Riyo...for all of it."

She rolled her eyes, but her smile was genuine. 

"Obviously. So, when's the wedding?" Riyo teased, and Zanka hoped his face was already red enough to disguise the sudden flush at the memory of Jabber's face when Zanka had pushed Mankira onto his bloody finger as a promise. 

"Hold on, what's that look? Zanka what's that look??" 

....

It was a day and a half before Zanka was allowed to see Jabber again, and in between a number of things occurred.

He'd gotten a new choker from Semiu; apparently the reason for the delay was that Enjin had insisted Zanka's replacement was the same model as his old one, and they'd needed to go get one instead of using one of the standard extras the cleaners kept on hand. Zanka was overwhelmingly glad he hadn't had to use one of the necklace models, even just imagining something like that around his throat again made his skin crawl. And equally as euphoric as that relief was the fact that Enjin had put special thought into it for him!

Zanka rode that high all the way to his mandatory checkup with Eisha. In the daylight, the Cleaner's infirmary was less oppressive, more familiar. The smells and various medical tools still put him on edge, but the warm colors and sunlight streaming in made it easier to mentally separate it from the labs, and Eisha's demeanor helped incredibly in that aspect as well. He passed his checkup, the only thing of note being a higher than usual blood pressure (though he knew exactly why that was, and he suspected Eisha did too) and he was cleared for field work. 

Before he left, he slipped a small empty vial into his pocket while Eisha was distracted. 

He continued training, trying to build back up the muscle and stamina that had been lost during his time in the cells. He knew the first few missions he'd be sent on would be extremely minor beginner-level fights, and he'd work his way back up to the missions he'd done before. He knew why it made sense, and that it was a matter of safety and being overcautious rather than a personal judgement of his abilities, but it still stung. He was already behind, had been even before the lab, and now he had to catch up even further. Still though, he had to admit there would be something extra satisfying about returning to the level he'd been at faster than anyone expected, and then surpassing it. That would help push him through the exhaustion and strain. He refused to believe that the labs had made him weaker, he wouldn't let them have that too. He was stronger now, he had to be. He just needed to grab that strength and rip it up to the surface. (He'd felt something different about Assistaff, as soon as he'd activated her again to train with her. He decided to keep it to himself, at least until he could figure out what it was. But it had felt like it had when she'd first unlocked the ability to sense things through vibration, and he wondered what exactly had triggered another minor evolution.)

(He had a feeling he knew.)

And through it all, he planned. Every spare moment he tried to figure out how exactly he was going get Jabber out. It was far easier than figuring out how to escape the labs at the very least. He knew all the ins and outs of Cleaner HQ, and swiping Mankira from Rudo would be easy enough. But he needed to figure out what exactly he could get away with, both in terms of what he could sneak in to Jabber's room and what information he could pass on. Zanka needed to be smart. He'd gotten lucky that Gris and Tomme had been willing to keep his secret after his moment of weakness during their reunion, but he couldn't be reckless like that again. The official reason for Zanka's visits would be to use him to get information about the Raiders, and if anyone else caught on that he had ulterior motives beyond that it would make escape that much more difficult. He didn't want to involve anyone else if he could help it, and fighting would be an absolute last resort. He could do it, he just had to plan carefully.

It was 4 days until the Hell Guard arrived, so he had 3 days if we wanted to play it safe. That would be more than enough time. It had to be.

...

When he entered the holding room again, Jabber was laying perpendicular on the bed with his legs resting up against the wall, the same position he'd constantly do in the cells when he was especially bored. Jabber had his eyes closed, and if Zanka didn't know any better he'd think he was sleeping. 

But Zanka did know better. Jabber's breathing —though steady— wasn't nearly slow enough, and his face was relaxed, but his expression wasn't quite as open as it was when he was fully passed out.

Jabber had definitely heard the door opening, but he probably wasn't aware it was Zanka in there. 

He could say something to let Jabber know it was him, sure. Or maybe he could silently creep over and scare him. But he had a better idea. 

Zanka tried not to laugh as he very quietly raised a foot and removed his shoe, glad he wasn't wearing his usual boots. 

At the sound of it sliding off his foot Zanka swore he just barely saw the corner of Jabber's lip twitch. But he was still pretending to be asleep. His funeral then. 

He took a second to aim, before flinging it right at Jabber's head. As soon as he did, Jabber's eyes opened and he moved in an instant, catching it out of the air just before it hit. 

He leaned his head back and looked at Zanka, grinning. 

"Ayo, what happened to 'no throwing it while someones asleep', huh? You goin back on your own rule?" 

"If ya wanna fake sleep to me yer gonna have to try a lot harder than that." Zanka retorted while rolling his eyes, and Jabber laughed. 

Zanka made his way over to the bed and sat on it. Jabber returned his shoe to him without a word but made no move to change how he was laying, and Zanka settled on sitting with his back against the wall and legs on the bed, the opposite of Jabber's position.

"Took you a hot second to come back." Jabber teased, resting a hand in the space between them. "You forget about me?"

Zanka put his own hand down, lacing the tips of their fingers together lightly. Here, it couldn't be seen from the door. 

"If only I could be so lucky." Zanka deadpanned, and made sure to catch Jabber's eye and give a pointed look to the door as he did, the window of which was still thankfully empty.

Like he expected, Jabber seemed to catch on immediately, and grinned. Good. Zanka kept talking.

"How'd ya know it was me? Shoe give it away?" 

"Nah, I could smell you when you came in. You smell like smoke again. The fancy shit those religious types use, not cigarettes."

Of course.

He used to envy Jabber's weirdly good sense of smell. It was just another way in which he was naturally gifted, and it had made Zanka all the more bitter. But the longer they'd been in the cells, the more that envy had shifted almost to an ironic sympathy. Zanka had managed to find some humor in the fact that apparently it didn't always pay to be gifted.

"Finally got my incense holder back." Zanka explained, and if it had been any other situation he might've let his curiosity get the better of him and ask what he'd smelled like before, but now wasn't the time for that. 

"So, y'all figure out what you're gonna do with me yet?" Jabber asked. "Do I just live here now or what?"

"The Cleaner's ain't the type to waste resources like that. Soon you'll be the Hell Guard's problem." He tried to keep his voice cold and indifferent, but he knew Jabber caught on to the underlying tension.

Jabber slowly rubbed his thumb along the side of their joined hands, still hidden from view, a silent reassurance. 

"Eh. Not like I haven't weaseled outta their grip before."

If Jabber had escaped them in the past that was even more reason why he wouldn't be able to again. They wouldn't make the same mistakes again.

"You won't this time." Zanka's voice came out a bit too pinched, revealing it as more of a genuine anxiety than the casual gloat he'd intended it to be heard as from outside. Hopefully they didn't catch on.

"Hm. We'll see about that. So how much longer do I get to enjoy these digs?"

He squeezed Jabber's hand three times and saw him mentally count.

"Like I'd tell you. I'm not an idiot."

Jabber laughed.

"Damn, that's cold! Thought you were warming up to me after our lil getaway, you really gonna leave me to the wolves?"

Absolutely not.

"That was a temporary alliance. It was mutually beneficial, and its over now. Don't think it was somethin that it wasn't."

Maybe if Jabber were anyone else he'd be worried about him taking the words at face value, but Jabber just gave Zanka the same smile he always did when Zanka lied to him, and it made his heart flip. 

"Ouch. You really know how to hit a guy where it hurts."

It sounded almost romantic, coming from him.

"Maybe I'd tell you when the Hell Guard's coming if you gave us info about the Raiders." 

Zanka already knew everything Jabber was willing to share about the Raiders; it had been a topic he'd exhausted pretty early on in their captivity, and most of it was useless. 

Jabber's eyes shined and he tilted his head.

"Oh? Like what?" 

"Where's your base?" 

Jabber gave him a look and Zanka tried not to crack a grin.

Jabber just rolled his eyes.

"Couldn't point it out on a map, but if I got within a few blocks I'd probably recognize it. So unless you're up for a fieldtrip, couldn't tell ya. Most of the time I just called Cthoni to pick me up, it was easier. And faster." 

Jabber's eyes moved to Zanka's left wrist.

"Speakin of chokers, saw you got a fancy new one, want me to punch my number in?"

Zanka casually glanced over at the door, making sure no one was looking in. The window was still empty. Good. 

He unlaced their fingers and pulled out the small vial he'd taken from the infirmary, now filled with his own blood, and pushed it into Jabber's hand silently.

"Try it and I'll break your wrist. And even if you did, not like there'd be much point."

He knew Jabber would recognize the blood for what it was: a promise twofold.

Jabber rolled the vial around in his fingers, looking at it while his smile only grew, and then he brought his eyes back up to Zanka's with a hungry look.

"Maybe I just wanna know you're carrying a piece of me with you."

Zanka double checked once more that no one was looking in, and then held his choker out towards Jabber.

"Go to hell." 

Jabber kept eye contact as he bit into his lip, tearing the fragile skin with his teeth, and blood welled up immediately. Oh.

Zanka watched, captivated, as Jabber licked it away and fresh blood immediately took its place. Zanka wanted to lick it away too. He took Zanka's left hand and intertwined their fingers again as he brought Zanka's choker towards his mouth and pressed a bloody kiss to it, the small zap of a connection being made arcing off his lips. 

Jabber licked the blood off his lips again as he brought their hands back down and then winked, and Zanka realized that at some point during Jabber's little show his mouth had fallen open, and he quickly shut it. 

"Freak." He muttered, looking away. "Ya always gotta make it weird, huh."

Jabber just laughed. 

"It's more fun that way."

...

The next day he was sent on his first mission since returning. Predictably, it was simple and straightforward. Two givers, five supporters, all for one medium-sized trash beast. At least Tamsy had been a good sport about it, and he'd let Zanka handle it pretty much by himself, which would hopefully mean his next assignment would be a few levels more difficult. 

As soon as they'd gotten back to Cleaner HQ though, the energy had been distinctly off. Semiu was nowhere to be seen, and a number of people seemed to be pretty frazzled as they moved around quickly, glancing at the group's entrance and lingering briefly on Zanka before continuing. Huh. 

It got weirder when Enjin found him pretty immediately and pulled him off from the returning group, saying he'd handle the debrief with Zanka since Semiu was busy. 

By the time they got to Enjin's room Zanka was sure something weird was happening, but waited until Enjins door was closed to speak. 

"Okay, the hells goin on? Are we under attack or something?"

Was it the Raiders? Had they come to retrieve Jabber? Objectively, a frontal attack by the Raiders was terrible news but Zanka couldn't stop the part of him that was relieved at the thought. 

"No, we're not. Well..." Enjin said, reconsidering for a second before shaking his head. "Yeah, no. Okay, look, uh. I've got good news and bad news."

"I'll take the bad news first." 

Enjin grimaced. 

"Yeah, I figured." He took a deep breath. "Okay. The Hell Guard's on their way. They're gonna be here in an hour."

Zanka's heart stopped. 

"What?" He breathed out. "No, that's- they weren't supposed to be here for at least 2 more days-"

"We don't know how it leaked, we're trying to figure it out, but someone blabbed about Jabber being here. And about you being alive."

Shit. Shit. He had an hour to get Jabber out. He needed to go, now. With no other option he'd probably end up having to fight, and as much as the idea made him sick he could ensure any damage he did was minor and non-lethal. He'd face whatever consequences came with it, no matter how severe. It was better than the alternative. If the Hell Guard took Jabber he was dead. 

"I'm sorry Enjin," Zanka said, maybe the last thing he'd say to him depending on how things shook out. He turned to leave. "I have to-"

Enjin caught his arm.

"Woah. Hey. Calm down, that wasn't all."

Zanka didn't need to hear the rest. He knew enough. And he was wasting valuable time. He stared pleadingly at Enjin, begging him to understand without having to say it.

Enjin sighed, not letting go of his arm.

"Really should have saved the Hell Guard news for the end, then. Okay. Noted." He mumbled to himself. 

"Enjin. Please. Whatever the other part is you can tell me later, I have to go."

"No you don't. Listen. The timing with the Hell Guard is bad, it is. But they're not gonna take Jabber, so you don't need to go bust him out."

Zanka stopped pulling against him. 

"What?" It made no sense. Zanka temporarily ignored the confirmation that Enjin knew he was planning on freeing Jabber and instead focused on figuring out why in the world the Hell Guard would choose to let Jabber go. "Why?"

Enjin finally let go of his arm. 

"Cause he's already gone."