"Fuck" I said, dick in hand.
In front of my face was what resembled a giant flashing dong. Within that same window the words blinked at me.
[ ACTIVATE GOONER SYSTEM ]
[ YES ] [ NO ]
Still stroking my doink, I chose yes. What other choice was there. No second thought as I raised my hand to click the hallucinated systems panel.
As soon as I hit the button I felt it rush up from within me. Blinding white beams rushed from my cock. Surrounding me in its warmth.
Systems windows popped up all around me.
[ GOONER SYSTEM ACTIVATED ]
[ Adrian Bater LV.1 ]
[ SKILLS ]
[ FREAK IN THE SHEETS LV.1 ]
"Huh" I said, still going crazy on my junk. "Freak in the sheets?" "I'm a virgin stroking myself to little people porn." "How the fuck can I use a skill like that."
The system blinked in response, opening the details of the skill.
[ FREAK IN THE SHEETS ]
[ The user of this unique skill, shall acquire immense levels of charm, charisma, sex appeal. ]
"Sex appeal huh, I said as I finished. "I don't look any different though." I said as I started to get dressed. "Let's give this a test."
I pulled my shirt over my head and glanced back at the floating blue dick shaped window hovering in the middle of my room.
"Alright," I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck. "System… activate Freak in the Sheets."
Nothing happened.
The panel blinked once, then expanded into another window.
[ SKILL ACTIVATION CONDITIONS NOT MET ]
"What conditions?" I asked the empty room.
Another notification slid into place beside it.
[ FREAK IN THE SHEETS – PASSIVE ]
[ Charisma +5 ]
[ Confidence +5 ]
[ Attraction Modifier: Minor ]
I stared at the text for a few seconds before looking down at myself.
"That's it?" I said, staring at my terribly average body. "No lightning, no transformation, no anime protagonist glow-up?" "The fuck is up with that?"
The system remained silent.
Then another panel appeared.
[ FIRST TARGET DETECTED ]
My bedroom door creaked open before I could question it, thankful I wasn't still naked beating my meat.
"Adrian?" Jenna's voice called from the hallway. "Did you leave the router—"
She stepped halfway into the room and stopped when she saw me.
For a moment she just stood there, brow furrowing slightly like she was trying to place something that had changed.
"…Did you do something different with your hair?" she asked.
"My hair?"
Another notification popped up beside the others.
[ GOONER EFFECT SUCCESSFUL ]
"Oh," I said quietly, realizing the system wanted me to have sex with my roommate.
Jenna kept staring at me for another second before shaking her head like she'd just lost her train of thought.
"Whatever. The Wi-Fi's down again. Fix it." She turned and walked back into the hallway. The system chimed in my brain as she left.
[ GOONER PROGRESS +1 ]
I stared at the floating text for a long moment.
Then I slowly started to grin.
"Oh," I said again. "This system is going to get me into a lot of trouble."
After I looked into the WiFi problem, I headed to see where she had gone. Anticipation building. "If all it takes is to look at a girl then this'll be easy." I murmured to myself. My mind, floating to what was coming next.
Me.
My primary goal at this point was to not die a virgin, people always made fun of me. Despite being a pretty normal looking dude.
They would constantly nitpick me for being quiet and never being able to talk to girls.
The hallway outside my room was quiet except for the low hum of the router rebooting in the living room.
Our apartment wasn't big. Two bedrooms, a narrow kitchen, and a living space that always smelled faintly like microwave popcorn and weed Jenna had bought on sale.
I stepped out slowly, the dick shaped system panel still hovering just off to the side of my vision like a smug little reminder that my life had apparently turned into some kind of degenerate RPG.
[ GOONER SYSTEM ACTIVE ]
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered under my breath. "I see you."
The living room lights were on. Jenna sat cross-legged on the couch with her laptop open, tapping at the keyboard while the router blinked beside the TV stand.
Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, a few loose strands falling around her face. She wore one of those oversized hoodies that made it impossible to tell what was underneath.
Normally I wouldn't even get within five feet of her without my brain short-circuiting.
Roommates or not, Jenna had always been one of those girls that made conversation feel like a high-stakes interview.
Tonight though… something felt different.
The system window flickered again as I stepped closer.
[ TARGET IN RANGE ]
My heartbeat picked up a little as I leaned against the wall near the couch, trying to act like I wasn't suddenly hyper-aware of every little detail in the room.
Jenna glanced up from her screen.
"Oh good, you're alive," she said. "The Wi-Fi died again."
"Yeah, I noticed," I replied, surprised at how steady my voice sounded.
Another quiet chime echoed in my head.
[ CHARISMA BONUS ACTIVE ]
She studied me for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"Why are you standing there like that?" she asked.
"Like what?"
"Like you're about to say something stupid."
I felt a grin creeping onto my face despite myself.
"Statistically speaking," I said, "that's pretty likely."
Jenna snorted softly and leaned back against the couch cushions.
Ever since we met her it's been the same. Today, the silence between us didn't feel terrifying.
If anything…
…it felt like an opportunity.