Oh… there they are.
They were standing right in front of the college gate.
A group of girls. Seniors, probably.
My steps slowed without me realizing it.
Maybe I should just look down and walk past them…
But what if they stop me?
What if they ask something?
Or worse…
What if they rag me?
My heartbeat started getting faster.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
The distance between us was getting smaller with every step.
Just walk… don't look up… just walk.
My eyes dropped to the ground as I passed them, pretending they didn't exist.
But my ears stayed alert.
Waiting.
Listening.
For someone to say—
"Hey, you."
They noticed the fear in his eyes.
A few of them exchanged glances… then smiled.
"Hey, you," one of the girls called.
He froze.
Great… he thought. Of course they noticed.
Another girl laughed softly.
"Look at him. He's so scared of us."
"Yeah," one said. "He looks fragile."
"Maybe we should leave him alone."
"No, no," another interrupted. "He completely ignored us. That deserves a little punishment, don't you think?"
The girls looked at each other mischievously.
One of them stepped forward.
"I know," she said with a grin. "I'll kiss him."
His brain stopped.
A… kiss?
His heart started racing so fast it felt like it might explode.
This is bad. This is really bad.
The girl leaned closer.
What do I do? What do I do?
Sweat formed on his forehead.
I can't kiss someone! I've never even—
His thoughts spiraled.
What if someone sees us?
What if people think we're dating?
What if my classmates find out?
What if—
She was getting closer.
Closer.
Closer.
This is the worst scenario possible…
His mind screamed.
Run.
But his body refused to move.
Her face was now only inches away.
Then—
RINGGGGGG!
The college bell echoed across the campus.
The girl stopped.
"Oh," she said casually. "Looks like it's time for class."
She stepped back and smiled.
"We can finish that kiss later."
The group of girls walked away laughing.
Meanwhile…
He stood there, completely frozen.
His brain was still trying to process what had just happened.
"Toshinoko?"
Someone suddenly ran toward him.
"Toshinoko, why are you standing in the middle of the path like that?"
His mind snapped back to reality.
It was Shinzu, one of his old classmates.
"Oh… nothing," Toshinoko said quietly.
Before Shinzu could ask anything else, he quickly walked past him and headed toward the classroom without looking back.
If I say anything about what just happened…
I'll probably end up in another worst scenario.
He entered the classroom with his head down.
Without looking at anyone, he walked to an empty seat and sat down.
He took off his bag and placed it inside the desk.
I don't know anyone here…
Well—
Except Shinzu.
Around him, the classroom slowly filled with noise.
Students started talking.
Laughing.
Introducing themselves.
Groups were already forming.
Even Shinzu was talking with a few people.
Toshinoko quietly watched from his seat.
Should I try talking to them?
His thoughts immediately spiraled again.
What if they saw me outside getting ragged by those seniors?
What if they ask what happened?
What if they tease me about it?
He lowered his head.
Yeah…
Maybe I should just sit here.
A few minutes later, the classroom door opened.
A woman walked in.
"Hello everyone," she said with a gentle smile. "I'm Merona, your class teacher. I'll be teaching you history."
The class slowly became quiet.
"But before we start," she continued, "I'd like everyone to introduce themselves."
Toshinoko froze.
Introduce… myself?
In front of the whole class?
His stomach tightened.
No way.
Everyone will look at me.
What if I say something weird?
What if they laugh?
He glanced down at his clothes.
An old grey T-shirt.
Worn black pants.
Shoes that looked like they had survived too many years.
What if they think I look weird too…
"So," the teacher said, "come one by one and tell us about yourself."
No…
Toshinoko stared at his desk.
The only way to avoid this… is to go last.
If I wait until the end, maybe the class will finish before my turn.
But then the teacher spoke again.
"Oh? No one wants to come first?"
She smiled.
"Alright then. I'll call you by the order of admission."
Toshinoko's heart dropped.
No…
Please no…
He remembered the admission list.
Shinzu joined first.
And he—
Toshinoko… was second.
His heartbeat started racing again.
"Shinzu," the teacher said. "Come here and introduce yourself."
"Oh, well," Shinzu replied casually.
He walked to the center of the classroom without the slightest sign of nervousness.
"My name is Shinzu. I'm from Tokyo. My mother is a journalist and my father is a driving instructor. My hobby is… dating girls."
The class burst into laughter.
Shinzu smiled like it was nothing and walked back to his seat.
Meanwhile, Toshinoko hadn't heard half of it.
His mind was drowning in thoughts.
Calm down… calm down…
Just say your name and come back.
That's all you need to do.
Then the teacher called—
"Toshinoko."
He didn't respond.
"Toshinoko!"
Her voice became louder.
He snapped back to reality and looked at her.
"Yes…?"
"Come here and introduce yourself."
Suddenly the whole class was looking at him.
Whispers slowly spread around the room.
"What's with him?"
"He looks weird…"
Toshinoko heard the murmurs.
Yeah… just like I thought.
I look weird.
He slowly stood up and walked toward the center of the class.
His eyes stayed on the floor.
He couldn't look at anyone.
"I… I am To…shi…noko," he stuttered.
"From To…kyo."
Every word came out slowly.
Broken.
His hands were trembling.
"My mother…"
His throat felt dry.
"My hobbies wa… was…"
The words refused to come out.
His mind went completely blank.
The teacher looked at him with concern.
"Toshinoko," she said gently, "I think you're not feeling well today."
"You can go home and take some rest. Come back tomorrow."
Every student in the room was staring at him.
Shinzu shrugged and whispered to the others.
"He's always like that. We were in the same high school. He's kind of a weirdo."
Toshinoko heard it.
His eyes filled with tears.
Without saying anything, he grabbed his bag and walked out of the classroom.
He walked slowly all the way home.
Tears quietly fell from his eyes.
Great…
Now everyone thinks I'm weird.
Everyone probably hates me.
He kept repeating those thoughts until he reached his house.
Before opening the door, he quickly rubbed his eyes.
He stepped inside silently.
His mother was sitting on the sofa.
"Oh, Toshi? Classes ended already?" she asked. "How was your first day of college?"
"…Nothing."
He walked upstairs without another word.
He entered his room and locked the door.
Then he threw himself onto the bed and buried his face in the pillow.
The tears finally came out.
"Why…" he whispered.
"Why does this always happen to me?"
"Why can't I just be normal… like everyone else?"
Downstairs, his mother sighed softly.
"Maybe he's not feeling well today," she murmured to herself.
"I'll ask him later."