"So," Amadeus said, tapping a brightly colored card against his knee. "It was actually a Life Model Decoy. A bionic robot used to establish an alibi for your classified field op."
Since Spider-Man and Peter Parker had been broadcast across Naples simultaneously, Peter had finally been forced to loop his friends in. He sat cross-legged on the hotel room floor, staring at his cards while the three of them played a highly competitive round of UNO.
"Yeah. Operational security is paramount," Peter muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry for lying to you guys."
"Relax, Pete," Harry laughed, leaning back against the bedframe. "It's brilliant. Flash is absolutely convinced Spider-Man isn't you now. Wait..." Harry paused, his eyes narrowing. "Have you told anyone else?"
"Just Gwen."
Amadeus frowned, adjusting his glasses. "Why? Isn't operational security paramount?"
"Because," Harry interrupted, slamming a green reverse card onto the pile, "he didn't want Gwen thinking he was actually dating Cindy LMD. Obviously. UNO!" Harry grinned smugly at Amadeus. "You'll understand the logistics once you actually talk to a girl, Cho."
Amadeus didn't blink. He calmly laid down a Wild Draw Four.
Peter sighed heavily and laid down a second Wild Draw Four.
Harry's grin instantly evaporated. He silently drew eight cards from the deck.
Peter rubbed his face.
Amadeus tapped his chin, his brilliant mind still working the puzzle. "Wait. Was Cindy also a LMD?"
"Yeah," Peter said, organizing his hand. "They're both S.H.I.E.L.D. LMDs. Cindy and I were on the same op. We both needed cover. Is that an issue?"
Amadeus tilted his head. You go on a covert mission with a girl. You worry your robot replacement is fake-dating her robot replacement. So you explain the robot situation to a different girl to protect your romantic standing.
"So," Amadeus concluded, completely deadpan, "you are functionally dating them simultaneously."
Harry snorted, organizing his newly massive hand of cards. "Incorrect. Dating them both implies active management. Parker is running a timeshare. They just take turns each day."
"Guys, can we please change the subject?" Peter groaned.
"I'm just saying, buddy," Harry offered, entirely unhelpful. "You're going to have to make a choice. Either lock down one girl, or convince them both you're a polyamorous mastermind. Though, knowing your guilt complex, you'd probably just spontaneously combust."
Peter dropped his last card onto the pile. "UNO."
Harry muttered a string of highly creative curses.
Amadeus reached into his hand and casually dropped a third Wild Draw Four.
Peter and Harry both stopped and stared at him.
Amadeus shrugged. "I played the mathematical odds. Draw your cards."
Peter let his head fall back against the wall, defeated by a piece of colored cardboard.
"Anyway," Peter muttered, scooping up his penalty cards. "There shouldn't be any large-scale Elemental attacks for a few days. They're laying low. We have to wait for new intel before we can go on the offensive."
Harry perked up. "Does that mean we're actually going to be safe in Rome for the next five days?"
Peter paused, blinking. "Wait. We're in Rome for five days?"
"Did you even read the itinerary?" Harry asked. "One day in Lisbon. Three in Madrid. Two covering Naples and Venice. Five in Rome. We're hitting the midpoint of the month-long trip."
Peter scratched the back of his neck. Five days of uninterrupted downtime. That actually sounded like a miracle.
The next morning, the Midtown High tour group boarded a high-speed train bound for Rome.
Peter had just booted up his laptop when Gwen marched down the aisle. She shot Harry a dangerously sweet smile and suggested he go sit next to his girlfriend, Liz. Harry, recognizing a tactical retreat when he saw one, immediately vacated the seat.
Gwen dropped into the chair next to Peter. She didn't say a single word.
Peter swallowed hard. He quietly closed his laptop. He stared out the window at the blurring Italian countryside, desperately scanning his brain for a safe conversation starter.
"So," Peter said, pointing at the glass. "Mount Vesuvius is somewhere between Naples and Rome. We might actually see it from the train. That would be pretty amazing..."
Gwen stared straight ahead. "It's a shame the school didn't put Vesuvius on the itinerary. It's so close, but apparently entirely out of our way."
Her tone was colder than liquid nitrogen.
Peter took a deep breath. "Okay. Look. I know why you're mad. Can I just explain? The thing with Cindy—"
"It wasn't you," Gwen cut in, her voice clipped. "I know. And you've gone on dates before. That's not the issue."
"Then what is?"
"The issue," Gwen said, finally turning to glare at him, "is that everyone else thinks you're on a date."
Peter winced. That was the core of the problem. Gwen wasn't jealous of a robot executing a pre-programmed social routine. She was annoyed because she was losing social standing to a fake narrative, and she couldn't exactly stand up in the hotel lobby and scream that her crush was actually out fighting weather-monsters. It was a phantom loss, but it still made her incredibly grumpy.
Peter needed a defusal tactic. Fast.
"We have five days in Rome," Peter said, keeping his voice steady. "The Elementals are off the board for now. As compensation for the... weirdness... how about we go on a real date? Just us, in Rome, for a whole day."
Gwen's eyes narrowed. "And what about Cindy?"
Peter blinked. "What about her?"
"You two aren't actually dating," Gwen pointed out, her logic trapping him in a corner. "If we go on a date, are you going to schedule another cover-date with her later?"
Peter's brain locked up. It was a vicious cycle of superhero logistics. If he dated Gwen, did the LMD have to break up with Cindy's LMD to maintain continuity?
He groaned, rubbing his temples. "Can we please just stop analyzing the robot social dynamics? Let's just have fun in Rome for two days. No S.H.I.E.L.D., no Elementals. Deal?"
Gwen watched him for a second, the icy exterior finally cracking. The corner of her mouth twitched upward.
"Fine," she said, leaning back into her seat. "I have no objections to that."
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