My childhood was not happy, but whatever it was, in my heart where I walked among the crowd, just seeing someone happy is enough.
"Hey, Dad, have you eaten yet?"
I said when I was 6 years old, At a time when I myself was a human being who belonged to the slave group, however my father always says, 'yes I've eaten, or I'm full,' but sometimes when he falls asleep he hugs me with his right hand, Meanwhile... his left hand seemed to be stroking his stomach.
"Dad hasn't eaten yet, right?"
"Haha, my father's son knows, you're getting smarter, by the way, do you know, now"
"don't lie to me, change the topic in the same way, why are you torturing yourself" (I said, crying breathlessly)
"You also need to eat, after mining for two days, don't you feel tired? Mother was like this before, did she die because she was hungry?"
Time seemed to stop, he just smiled and hugged me tighter, here, in the cold cell, on the bamboo bed.
(Soft) "If you don't eat, you won't grow strong, you know, if dad drinks water, dad already has enough energy."
"I just want you to be happy, you are my son right"
"a man must grow strong, therefore, grow well, and succeed father"
I just cried, turned around and said 'dad', hugged him tightly, to the point that... The guard who usually hit the cell when we were noisy, There he was just silent, with a whip he looked at me while crying.
he fell in front of the cell, grabbed the key, turned it and opened the cell, not speaking and reaching for the handcuff key, he said softly, as if he wasn't crying.
"If I let you out of this cell, I-i will die, I also ha-have children, and I know, I know what it feels like to be hungry, wh, wha, What if, i smuggle...your child"
(he calmly said) "Will my child be happy?"
"I'll try, I'll slip him into the church."
(stupidly I shouted) "no, I don't want to leave dad"
"You are my child, will my child cry foolishly for freedom?"
"Even if you're with your father, you won't be full when you eat... I'm sorry, your father is not a good man."
"you must grow up well out there"
And of all the memories, that's all I remember, I really am a bad child, as if my parents' services were just entertainment, something I can forget when I am happy with other things, forget when I was on top, forget it as if it were just a small, worthless thing.
But if I remember it, it will also feel painful, right? We are humans, creatures who are still bound by logic, whoever we are, and wherever we are, time will continue to move on.
If my wish can come true, I want to meet you again, You...the greatest, most amazing father I ever had, Let's meet again, dad.
(Note/882, (June notes)