The goblin screeched.
Not a dignified screech.Not a terrifying screech.
More like the sound of an angry kettle discovering violence for the first time.
The entire convenience store erupted into chaos.
Someone screamed.
Someone else tripped over a basket of instant noodles.
A man in a suit ran directly into the snack aisle, knocking over three towers of potato chips like a human bowling ball.
Kai Akira stood in the middle of it all, still holding his bento with both hands.
He blinked once.
Then twice.
The goblin hissed again, baring a row of small, jagged teeth that looked like they had been assembled by someone who hated dentistry.
Kai slowly raised the bento box higher, protecting it instinctively.
"Listen," he told the creature calmly, "I respect enthusiasm for food."
The goblin shrieked again.
"But this relationship," Kai said, gently patting the plastic lid, "is exclusive."
Behind him, someone yelled, "IT'S A MONSTER!"
"Yes," Kai replied without turning around. "That observation is correct."
The goblin sniffed the air.
Its head turned slowly.
And then its eyes locked onto the bento.
Kai froze.
The goblin took one eager step forward.
Kai took one step back.
The goblin leaned forward with the unmistakable curiosity of something that had just discovered lunch.
Kai narrowed his eyes.
"Absolutely not."
Suddenly the blue window in front of Kai's vision flickered violently.
SYSTEM ONLINE
"Oh good," Kai muttered. "The apocalypse has customer support."
The window glitched.
Text scrambled across the screen.
ERROR DETECTED
Kai leaned slightly closer to the floating window.
"Never mind," he said. "Customer support is broken."
The system flickered again.
Then new information appeared.
Name: Kai Akira
Level: 1
Class: ERROR
Class: ERROR
Class: SYSTEM ANOMALY
Kai stared at it.
He blinked.
Once.
Twice.
Then he slowly pointed at himself.
"Oh NO!" he said loudly. "What if my dad was right!?"
A woman hiding behind the drink refrigerator peeked out.
Kai continued staring at the screen in horror.
"Even a system can't give me a purpose??"
He threw a hand in the air.
"You have GOT to be kidding me!"
The goblin tilted its head, confused by the emotional breakdown happening in front of it.
Across the store, more glowing windows appeared in front of other people.
A salaryman near the freezer gasped.
"I got something!" he shouted.
A blue screen hovered in front of him.
"CLASS: SWORDSMAN!"
The man pumped his fist.
"Yes! I knew kendo lessons would pay off!"
A college student near the magazine rack suddenly shouted.
"I GOT ARCHER!"
Another customer stared at their screen and fainted immediately.
A guy wearing gaming headphones near the drink section suddenly jumped onto a chair.
"GUYS!" he shouted excitedly.
"THIS IS A SYSTEM APOCALYPSE!"
Kai looked over.
"We didn't get transported anywhere," he said flatly.
The gamer pointed dramatically at the sky outside.
"THE WORLD HAS BECOME AN RPG!"
Kai gestured toward the goblin currently sniffing a bag of chips.
"Yes. I noticed."
The goblin suddenly grabbed the chip bag.
It ripped the package open with alarming enthusiasm.
Potato chips exploded everywhere.
The creature shrieked happily and began shoveling chips into its mouth like a small green garbage disposal.
Kai stared.
"Well," he admitted, "I respect the dedication."
The goblin paused mid-chew.
Then its eyes snapped back toward Kai.
More specifically…
toward the bento.
Kai slowly tightened his grip on the box.
"No."
The goblin screeched and lunged forward.
Kai sidestepped quickly.
"Boundaries!" he shouted.
The goblin skidded across the floor, knocking over an entire stack of ramen cups.
Noodles exploded everywhere.
Someone screamed again.
The goblin climbed onto a shelf.
Then another.
Then it jumped onto the counter.
The cashier—who had previously vanished under the counter—slowly raised his head.
The goblin hissed at him.
The cashier immediately went back into hiding.
Kai carefully adjusted the bento box in his hands.
"Everyone calm down," he said.
No one listened.
The goblin suddenly leapt off the counter.
Straight toward Kai.
Kai dodged again.
"Sir," he told the creature, "your table manners are atrocious."
The goblin screeched.
Kai sighed.
"This is why we can't have nice dinners."
Suddenly the system window flashed again.
SKILL ACQUIRED
Kai blinked.
The new text appeared.
Skill: Appetite Preservation
Description:
Protect food from all threats.
Kai stared at the screen.
Then slowly looked down at the bento.
Then back at the screen.
"…Finally," he said.
"A system with priorities."
The goblin screeched again and prepared to leap.
Kai sighed heavily.
He looked down at the bento box one last time.
"This isn't how I imagined our evening going."
Very carefully, he placed the bento on the nearest shelf.
Then he rolled up his sleeves.
The goblin hissed.
Kai cracked his knuckles.
"Okay," he said.
"But if you touch my dinner again…"
The system window flashed.
FIRST COMBAT EVENT DETECTED