Chapter 12
The Distance I Didn't Notice
Jay's pov
I thought I was hiding it well.
From everyone.
From the world.
From my friends.
Especially…
from her.
Ella.
My closest friend.
The one who knew everything about me.
Or at least…
she used to.
"Jay."
Her voice wasn't loud.
But it wasn't the same either.
I looked up.
"Hmm?"
She was standing there.
Arms crossed.
Eyes… not playful.
Serious.
"What?"
I asked.
"How long?"
My heart skipped.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't do that."
Her voice was calm.
Too calm.
"Do what?"
"Act like you don't know."
Silence.
I looked away.
"Ella—"
"It's him, right?"
I froze.
"…who?"
She laughed softly.
Not the happy one.
The hurt one.
"See?"
"That's exactly what I mean."
I didn't speak.
Because I couldn't.
Because if I said anything…
everything would come out.
"Jay…"
Her voice softened now.
"I'm your best friend."
I looked at her.
And for the first time…
I saw it.
Hurt.
Real hurt.
"You tell me everything."
"I do…"
"No."
She shook her head.
"You used to."
That hit.
Hard.
Silence filled the space between us.
"You smile at your phone…"
"You disappear sometimes…"
"You look at him like—"
She stopped.
Then whispered…
"Like he matters."
My eyes filled slightly.
"He doesn't…"
The lie felt heavier this time.
"Jay."
She stepped closer.
"Look at me and say that again."
I couldn't.
Because I couldn't lie to her face.
And she noticed.
Of course she did.
A tear slipped from her eye.
"You don't trust me anymore?"
That broke me.
"I do—"
"Then why am I the only one who doesn't know?"
Silence.
Because she was right.
Everyone didn't know.
But she…
should have.
"I just…"
My voice trembled.
"I didn't know how to say it."
"Say what?"
I looked down.
"…that I like him."
She stared at me.
Long.
Processing.
"You like him…"
I nodded slowly.
"Since when?"
"I don't know…"
"That's a lie."
"…a while."
Her jaw tightened.
"And you didn't think I deserved to know?"
"It's not like that—"
"Then what is it like?"
I stayed silent.
Because I didn't have a good answer.
Because there wasn't one.
She stepped back slightly.
"That's okay."
"Ella—"
"No, it's fine."
Her voice said fine.
But her eyes didn't.
"I'm just your 'friend', right?"
That word.
It felt different now.
"He's special…"
she added quietly.
I felt my chest tighten.
"That's not what I meant—"
"But that's what it is."
Silence.
She gave a small nod.
"Next time…"
Her voice broke slightly.
"Don't make me feel like I'm outside your life."
And with that…
she walked away.
I stood there.
Frozen.
Guilty.
Because I didn't just hide a secret.
I hurt someone who never hid anything from me.
And for the first time…
My love didn't feel just beautiful.
It felt…
selfish.
Because in trying to protect it…
I pushed someone away…
who never deserved the distance.
And I didn't know then…
That this distance…
would only grow bigger.
Not just with her.
But with everyone.
Including him.
To be continued… 😔💔