***
Hashirama Senju laughed helplessly in the chat room. "Looks like the monkey really did let him go on purpose."
Madara Uchiha snorted at once. "Isn't that obvious? Why waste time arguing about it?"
Hashirama only laughed harder, while below them the black-bordered screen continued to play.
Splash.
Naruto's makeshift line dipped into the river again. In no time at all, he hauled up another small fish, then another, then a third. Every one of them was almost the same size, each about as long as three adult fingers laid together.
The similarity was too exact. The number, the size, even the half-dead way the fish barely twitched once they were threaded through the vine and lowered back into the water to keep fresh. It was almost a mirror of what had happened on the gold-bordered screen.
A quiet murmur ran through the entire arena.
So they really were the same. At least on the surface.
Ino leaned forward with sparkling eyes. "Someone put them there! There have to be ANBU hidden at the bottom of the river."
Sakura nodded immediately. "There's no way that's natural. Not three in a row, and not all the same size."
Tenten bit her lip. "Do you think black-frame Naruto will notice?"
Sakura glanced at Naruto on the field, then back at the screen. "Our Naruto never did. But that one..."
She didn't finish the sentence. She didn't need to. Everyone already knew what she meant.
On the black-bordered screen, little Naruto crouched at the riverbank, staring at the fish lined up in the shallows. His blue eyes narrowed.
'Am I really that lucky?'
He reached down and nudged the vine with one finger. The fish hanging in the water barely moved. Not one of them fought to swim. Not one of them even stirred the surface enough to make a ripple.
Naruto's mouth twitched. 'If I eat fish this dumb, am I going to get stupid too?'
That thought alone almost made the whole arena burst out laughing.
But Naruto wasn't smiling because he was amused. He was testing, comparing, thinking. Then something flashed in his eyes, quick and bright, and a tiny curve touched his lips.
Kiba instantly shot to his feet and yelled, "No! Hold down the corners of his mouth! Don't let him smile like that!"
Too late.
The next second, a warm trickling sound spread across the riverbank.
For one impossibly silent beat, the entire ninja world froze.
Then every face turned strange.
Naruto, the one standing in the arena, stared upward with his jaw hanging open. "Come on, fall off!" he blurted reflexively, not even knowing which side he was rooting for anymore.
In the Pure Land, even the dead seemed to lose the ability to speak.
Hinata's face turned so red it looked like steam might rise from her head. "T-That's... that's..." was all she managed before her voice failed her completely.
Yugao looked away and spat, cheeks burning. "That brat..."
Hashirama, on the other hand, laughed until tears almost came out. "This kid is incredible!"
Far away on Tanzaku Street, Tsunade sprayed a mouthful of sake straight across the table. Shizune screamed, wiped at the wine on her face, and then had to help Tsunade before she choked herself laughing.
On-screen, the unlucky ANBU ninja hidden underwater nearly died of fury.
That damned little fox brat!
The sound of a child relieving himself splashed through the shallows again and again. Naruto even shifted his stance to make sure the stream hit the right place.
Then, in a loud voice that was clearly meant for anyone hiding nearby to hear, he announced, "Only this many fish? Forget it. I'm changing spots."
He kicked dirt into the water next. Then stones. Then fist-sized clumps of mud. Each splash sent murky clouds blooming into the river until the ANBU ninja below had no choice but to shut his eyes.
If he kept them open any longer, he really would end up blind with mud packed into them.
Naruto clapped his hands together and wrinkled his nose. "Ugh. Which disgusting idiot buried a landmine in the wild?" he shouted. "Fine, I'll throw it into the river and let the fish eat it!"
Something plopped down into the water.
The bubbles that rose a heartbeat later told him everything he needed to know.
Naruto gave the river one final disdainful look, gathered up his catch, and walked away with his head high.
Ino laughed so hard she had tears in her eyes. "Black-frame Naruto is so bad... I like him so much."
Mei Terumi smiled lazily. "At this rate, that child won't live the same miserable life as the gold-frame version. Naruto, think about it. Come to Kirigakure. Big sister will take care of you personally. I can even reserve the title of Sixth Mizukage for you."
The Fourth Raikage cut in at once. "Don't even dream about it! Naruto Uzumaki should come to Kumogakure!"
Onoki, not to be outdone, barked, "Nonsense. Iwagakure suits him best."
Even Orochimaru joined in from the side. "How interesting. Suddenly I want to try recruiting him too."
The chat room dissolved into another chaotic argument.
In the Pure Land, Kushina had stopped laughing. She pressed a hand to her chest and thought seriously for the first time about what would come after revenge.
If she truly got revived, she would absolutely settle the score for Naruto first. That part was non-negotiable.
But after that... where should she take him? What village was worth trusting? Was any village worth trusting?
For the first time since the live comparison began, even Kushina couldn't answer immediately.
By then the sun had climbed higher into the sky. Naruto checked the light, rubbed his stomach, and lifted the vine strung with five fish.
Three of them had come from the helpful hands hidden under the water. The other two, he had actually caught himself. Even he had to admit it felt like some kind of beginner's blessing.
'There are plenty of fish here,' he thought as he headed back. 'If I ration them properly, I can come back and stock up whenever I need to.'
But meat alone wasn't enough.
Naruto's cute little brows drew together. "Vegetables don't grow all at once, right? They start from... seeds?"
He rolled the thought around in his head while he walked. Where could he get seeds? The market, probably. Farmers sold all sorts of things there.
Then he hesitated.
Those people hated him. He hated them too. He didn't want to beg anyone for anything.
A moment later, though, his eyes lit up. There was still one place he could try.
Without slowing, Naruto turned around and ran straight toward Ichiraku Ramen.
By the time he arrived, the lunch rush had already begun. Steam rolled from the shop. Customers filled the stools shoulder to shoulder, bowls clinking, chopsticks snapping apart, bright talk drifting into the street with the smell of broth.
Naruto stopped under the noren and took it all in.
Then he quietly stepped back.
'I'll come later,' he decided. 'If I walk in now, Uncle Teuchi and Sister Ayame's business will get ruined because of me.'
That simple decision made several people in the arena fall silent.
Tobirama was the first to speak. "Very good. He's probably planning to ask the Ichiraku owner for help getting vegetable seeds."
Rock Lee nodded enthusiastically. "Then Naruto-kun will have both fish and vegetables. That means balanced nutrition!"
Might Guy immediately puffed up with pride. "Hahaha! At this rate, that youthful boy will absolutely want to become my disciple, Lee! You must look after your adorable junior brother from now on. Youth is-"
His message cut off mid-sentence.
The chat room muted him on the spot.
Lee's outraged "Teacher Guy!" lasted exactly one line before he got muted too.
At the same time, on a road crossing the border of the Land of Fire, two cloaked figures under straw hats stepped through the wind.
***
The taller of the two carried a massive bandaged blade over his shoulder. He tilted the brim of his hat back and grinned with pointed teeth. "Might Guy... the Blue Beast of Konoha? Mr. Itachi, are we really heading for Konoha?"
Beside him, the shorter man walked in silence for several steps before answering. "We'll take a look."
They were Kisame Hoshigaki and Itachi Uchiha of the Akatsuki.
In another timeline, Itachi would only return after the Third Hokage's death, partly to remind Danzo that Sasuke was not to be touched. Here, events were moving ahead of schedule.
There was another reason too, one Itachi did not say aloud. His body was nearing its limit. If he was going to come back, then it had to be now.
Back in Konoha, Naruto had already returned home.
***
He rushed into the kitchen, dropped the fish, and hopped onto a chair so he could reach the counter. Yesterday, Teuchi had told him in a casual, matter-of-fact way that if you wanted food to taste good, seasoning mattered.
Naruto remembered every word.
Now he stood there with deadly seriousness, peering at the condiments like a general studying a battlefield.
A little salt. Maybe this powder too. Maybe only a bit. If he used too much, he might ruin the whole meal.
His small face was so stern that it made the audience want to laugh and praise him at the same time.
Onoki, however, was still fixated on something else entirely. "Judging from this, that wicked old Third Hokage should still have a chance to show his face later, right?"
Danzo, sitting in the darkness of Root, gave a cold snort. "Hiruzen still dares to show up? In the black-frame world, the jinchuriki will definitely connect the dots and trace everything back to his identity."
He did not stop there.
"Which is exactly why I said from the very beginning- if the jinchuriki had been handed over to me, none of this would have happened. Hiruzen, you'll regret this."
Hiruzen's expression twisted at once. He was just opening his mouth to unleash a storm of abuse on his oldest friend when Tobirama spoke first.
"Shut up!"
The Second Hokage's voice crashed through the chat room like ice splitting. "You haven't embarrassed yourself enough already?"
Hiruzen snapped back almost instinctively, years of habit overriding reason. "I am the Hokage!"
For a moment, complete silence followed.
Tobirama stared at the message as if he'd been struck in the face.
Question marks practically rose around his head.
Then Hiruzen added, with all the stiffness of a man who had realized far too late what he'd just said, "...Sorry, Tobirama-sensei. I was replying to Danzo."
That only made the silence heavier.
Then, somewhere in the arena, someone choked trying not to laugh.
And once the first person failed, the rest became impossible to stop.
On the screen, Naruto was still busy in his tiny kitchen, earnestly trying to make himself a meal with the seriousness of someone preparing for war.
Off the screen, the entire ninja world was busy tearing Konoha apart one sentence at a time.
The contrast was absurd. It was also, somehow, perfect.
And as the black-bordered comparison went on, one thing became clearer and clearer to everyone watching.
This Naruto was no fool, no puppet, and no child who could be guided with a few pretty words and a smile at the right moment.
He was learning, counting, testing, remembering.
And sooner or later, the people who had underestimated him were going to pay for it.