An intense white light blinded Edra as her eyes opened.
Finally, I died for real this time and went to heaven after getting shot with a dart by a beetle grunt and the loudest fish-man I've ever met.
Well. Time to see what awaits me in heaven. Assuming that is what's happening.
As her vision cleared, Edra saw a figure leaning over her.
An angel.
Wow. I never thought I'd see a real angel before, considering everything I've done. But hey. Merciful, I guess.
She stared at the woman in awe.
Then blinked.
…Are those horns?
"Oh. You're awake," the woman said.
Edra squinted at her. The woman seemed to notice exactly where her gaze had gone.
"Are horns not common where you're from?" she asked calmly.
Then, with perfect seriousness, she added, "Who are you?"
Edra stared at her for a moment.
Then her expression went blank.
"Loading… loading…"
A beat passed.
"G.U. unit is now online. Designation: Edra. Please verify identity. State your name."
The woman regarded her calmly.
"Lucienne," she said.
Then, after the smallest pause, she added, "And I already know you're completely organic."
Well. That act lasted all of three seconds.
Edra immediately tried to sit up.
She couldn't.
Her wrists jerked against the restraints with a sharp metallic pull. She twisted again, harder this time, but the straps held firm.
After a moment, she stopped struggling and let out a slow breath.
"You know, at least I'm not dead."
Her eyes shifted back to Lucienne's horns.
"And now this demonic angel woman is going to turn me into a science experiment. Wonderful."
Lucienne let out a soft chuckle.
"I'm not going to turn you into a science experiment," she said. "I just have a few questions
"What are you?" Lucienne asked.
Edra blinked.
"What am I… what?"
She stared at her blankly.
Lucienne's half-lidded gaze moved across Edra's face, taking in the extra eyes, the unfamiliar features, the dark resin-colored blood still staining her sleeve.
"I've never seen anything like you before," she said. "You don't match anything in any of our data files."
Edra considered that.
"I'm pretty sure I'm a mammal," she said. "Unless you're asking in the metaphysical sense. In that case, I'm more of a local disturbance in spacetime trying to figure out why you're standing so close to me."
Lucienne was silent for a beat.
"So you don't know," she said. "That is, surprisingly, useful."
Edra frowned.
That did not feel useful.
Lucienne straightened slightly.
"Why were you in space?"
Edra paused.
"Huh… space."
I cannot exactly tell her a preschooler and a blue stick bug sent me into space.
Lucienne waited.
"Yes," she said. "Space. You were in it. Then you hit our ship."
Edra winced.
"I am so very sorry about that," she said. "You have my humblest apologies. Truly. From the bottom of my heart."
Lucienne nodded once.
"Apology accepted."
"You've answered all my questions," Lucienne said. "I'm reasonably sure you're safe."
Edra brightened at once.
"So I can be released now?"
She put on her best puppy-dog expression, which was somewhat undermined by the extra set of eyes.
Lucienne smiled faintly.
"Cute. Not yet, though. There's still someone else who has questions for you."
She turned her head slightly toward the door.
"You can come in now. I know you're listening."
The door slid open almost immediately.
Rafael stepped through with all the subtlety of a dramatic entrance he had absolutely been waiting to make.
"Oh," Edra said. "It's fish guy."
Rafael raised an eyebrow — if he'd had one to raise.
"I am no fish," he declared. "I am the captain of this future flagship."
He pointed at her with sharp indignation.
"Why did you attack my ship, robot? Or should I say… G.U. unit designation: Edra."
"Target identified," Edra said flatly. "Proceeding with elimination protocol."
Rafael pointed at her at once.
"See? I told you, Rita. She's an evil robot here to kill me."
Rita folded her arms.
"You know what? My fault for doubting you."
She narrowed her eyes at Edra.
"This was probably her plan from the start. First damage the ship to make us land, then get found, then get captured, then get aboard the ship, and then eliminate you."
Then, in the same blank voice, Edra said,
"Bindings restricting elimination protocol. Initiating self-destruct in ten seconds."
Rafael's expression changed immediately.
"Oh no. Lucienne, do something. I can't let my glorious future flagship go up in flames. This will not be the end of my tale. I can't die yet."
Rita looked between them, tense but less dramatic.
"Luci, please tell me she's lying."
Lucienne looked at Edra without the slightest hint of panic.
"Edra," she said calmly, "you can stop now. You've had your fun."
"Command understood. Ending self-destruct sequence. Elimination protocol deactivated."
Edra smiled.
"Well. Nice to meet you all properly. I'm Edra."
Then she looked at Rita.
"And look who it is. Bug grunt."
Rita's eyes narrowed.
"What did you just call me?"
"Bug grunt," Edra repeated. "How do you shoot somebody for trying to help you?"
"Help us?" Rita snapped. "You started talking to us from the middle of a black forest while sitting in a tree. Do you know how terrifying that is?"
Edra nodded thoughtfully.
"You're right. That is scary."
She paused.
"For a chicken."
"Who are you calling a chicken?"
Rita lunged forward, but Lucienne caught her arm and held her back with practiced ease.
While Rita continued yelling deeply unpleasant things in the background, Edra looked past all of them toward Rafael.
"So," she said, "you got any food on this flagship? I am starving."
"Yes," Rafael said at once. "We do have food here. Some of the best, I might add, in this entire stretch of the galaxy."
He placed a hand against his chest with absolute confidence.
"I am fully certain our meals will blow your mind."
Edra looked impressed.
Now that was the most convincing thing anyone had said so far.
Rafael narrowed his eyes slightly.
"One last question. You promise you're not a robot?"
Edra looked at him blankly.
"No," she said. "I'm not a robot here to kill you."
A beat passed.
"And I am definitely not saying that just to make you lower your guard and unlock my bindings."
Rafael stared at her.
"That was not reassuring."