Deep inside the mine, the air grew oppressive.
Satori was curled up in an open area at the end of the tunnel, its enormous black wings hanging half-lowered.
"...After frying the curry roux over low heat until fragrant... cook the onions until translucent... dice the carrots... simmer the potatoes until chopsticks can pierce them easily..."
Hatake Sakumo made a hand signal.
The tracking team and the four Iwagakure ninja silently spread out, forming an encirclement around the tunnel exit.
"Are you sure you want to use that move again?"
"It works really well." Shin-chan spoke as though it were obvious. "Its head is full of ramen and curry now."
"But its current state is even more unstable than before."
The moment those words left his mouth, Satori suddenly raised itself.
"Someone's here."
It slowly stood and spread its wings.
"I can smell chakra."
"Is it those idiots from Iwa? Or those fools from Konoha?"
The enormous mouth on its abdomen twisted into a hideous grin.
"Doesn't matter. You're all food anyway..."
Then it saw the figure poking his head out from behind Jiraiya.
The brat with a chocolate stick in his mouth and an expression that seemed to say, Wow, it's really dark in here.
Satori froze.
"YOU!!!"
It stared fixedly at Shin-chan.
"The demon who talks about ramen!!!"
All four Iwagakure ninja simultaneously took a step backward.
"Yo, Satori." Shin-chan waved as though greeting an old friend.
"Stay away from me!" Satori flapped its wings and backed away. "I don't want to hear about ramen! I don't want to hear about chocolate sticks! I don't want to hear about pudding!"
Shin-chan took one step forward. Kunai marked with Flying Thunder God formulas were scattered throughout the area.
"Last time, we covered tonkotsu ramen and curry rice. Today, we're going to—"
"SHUT UP!!!"
Satori violently flapped its wings.
A black gale filled with razor-sharp feathers swept toward Shin-chan.
"Earth Style: Earth-Style Wall!"
Jiraiya formed hand seals, and an earthen wall surged from the ground in front of Shin-chan.
The feathers buried themselves in the wall with a dense series of muffled impacts.
Hatake Sakumo cut in from the side, his short blade drawing a brilliant arc through the dim mine.
"Hatake Style: Severing Sky Slash!"
Satori folded its wings at an unnatural angle and avoided the strike.
"Too slow," Satori said. "I already know everything about your attack—"
"Once the miso is fried until fragrant, add the broth," Shin-chan's voice came from another direction. "The broth has to be made with kombu and bonito flakes. You can't substitute tonkotsu broth or the flavors will fight each other."
Satori's movement faltered for an instant.
Sakumo's second attack arrived.
His short blade sliced across Satori's wing.
"It hit!" the Iwa jōnin exclaimed.
It was the first time they had ever seen Satori struck by a physical attack.
"It was distracted." Sakumo immediately retreated after landing.
Satori roared in fury.
"You insects!"
Its enormous mouth opened, purple chakra gathering wildly within it.
"Careful. It's targeting Shin-chan."
"Then add chashu, bamboo shoots, and corn." Shin-chan showed no intention of dodging. "The chashu has to be cut into thick slices. Too thin and there's no texture, but too thick makes it harder to drink the soup..."
The energy sphere blasted toward Shin-chan.
His figure vanished instantly.
The attack struck where he had just been standing, blowing out a crater several metres wide.
"Next up..." Shin-chan appeared on Satori's other side. "The secret recipe for chocolate miso ramen. Replace the miso with melted chocolate. Salty and sweet together—super delicious."
"You demon! You ramen demon!"
Satori swiped at Shin-chan.
He disappeared again.
"I figured it out! Your technique requires kunai as markers! Then I'll destroy every kunai and see where you can jump to!"
Satori flapped its wings.
Countless black feathers rained down like a storm, targeting every kunai scattered around the mine.
"You think destroying my kunai will stop me?" Shin-chan's voice carried a hint of smugness.
He formed a hand seal.
"Flying Thunder God: Kunai Summoning Jutsu!"
Space rippled faintly.
A kunai appeared out of thin air in Shin-chan's hand.
"What?"
"There's more."
A second.
A third.
A fourth...
Although Shin-chan's snack-transportation experiments had not yet fully succeeded, they had still produced some progress.
For example, he had learned how to directly summon kunai bearing Flying Thunder God formulas, solving the problem of running out of marked kunai.
Countless Flying Thunder God kunai clattered into the walls, floor, and ceiling of the mine.
Shin-chan casually caught one and spun it around his finger.
"Well? Which one are you going to destroy now?"
Satori opened its enormous mouth.
Countless purple energy beams swept wildly in every direction.
The mine walls exploded under the barrage, sending chunks of stone flying. Rocks rained from the ceiling, and the entire mine shook violently as though it might collapse at any moment.
"Watch the ceiling!"
Jiraiya formed hand seals and raised a massive Earth Style barrier to block the falling debris.
Meanwhile, Sakumo used the dust as cover and charged Satori once again, his short blade flashing repeatedly.
Satori dodged Sakumo's attacks while staring at the brat teleporting all around the mine.
Its mind-reading ability was still operating automatically.
But Shin-chan's brain had now become a complete stew of nonsense.
Ramen, ramen, ramen...
Chocolate sticks, chocolate sticks, chocolate sticks...
Hot springs, hot springs, hot springs...
Misae's frying pan...
Those chaotic, utterly illogical thoughts flooded into Satori's mind and instantly occupied all of its mental space.
Its entire thought process crashed.
Every offensive intention, every combat instinct, every desire for conquest was pushed aside by ramen and chocolate sticks.
Now its head was filled entirely with food.
It forgot who it was.
It forgot why it was here.
I really want ramen...
I really want chocolate sticks...
I really want dorayaki...
The corner of Jiraiya's mouth twitched.
"Wh-What did you do to it?"
"Nothing special." Shin-chan scratched his head. "I just thought about every kind of delicious food I know, one after another. Then it turned like this."
"Every kind of food?"
"Mm. Starting with tonkotsu ramen, then the seventy-two variations of curry rice, the differences between red bean dango and matcha dango—"
"Stop." Jiraiya immediately cut him off. "Even I'm starting to feel overwhelmed."
The Iwa jōnin wore a complicated expression.
"It's completely lost its aggression."
"This is the ultimate principle of the Gourmet Mental Pollution Jutsu." Shin-chan spoke with complete seriousness. "Fill the enemy's brain entirely with delicious food until they lose all will to fight."
"You just made that technique name up too, didn't you?"
"Yep."
Sakumo sheathed his short blade.
"Now's our chance. Finish it."
"How?"
"With a sealing technique."
Everyone simultaneously turned toward Shin-chan.
"What did you say?"
"The Sage of Six Paths taught me some." Shin-chan thought back for a moment. "Only a little, but it should probably be enough."
~~~
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