"Ren… I like you."
Shiharu's voice rang out one evening when he had come over for another sleepover.
Ren froze.
So did Hoshiyuki.
Hoshiyuki had been just about to step into the room when the words reached him. He stopped mid-step, instinctively retreating a few paces back into the hallway. His heart skipped in disbelief.
Shiharu… liked Ren?
Ren blinked, staring at him.
"Wait… you mean like… normal like?" he asked awkwardly. "I mean—the kind of like between friends… right?"
Shiharu fell silent.
For a long moment, he struggled with himself, trying to choose the safer answer. He knew what people believed. He knew that falling in love with another boy was something the world often condemned.
He had tried to bury those feelings.
Tried to hide them.
But everything Ren did only made them stronger, until they grew too heavy to keep inside.
And now that he had finally said it… why take it back?
"No," Shiharu said quietly.
"I like you. The kind of like where… you want to spend your entire life with someone."
His voice trembled slightly.
"I know it's wrong… I know it probably sounds strange. I really tried to keep it to myself. I tried to hide it, but it wasn't working anymore."
He lowered his head.
"I'm sorry… I'm really sorry, Ren. It's okay if you don't feel the same way. I just… I was suffocating keeping it all inside."
"Please forgive me," he whispered softly. "I can't control how I feel."
Ren stared at him in silence.
So that's what this was.
I only kept him around because he was useful as a backup friend… and now he confesses something like this?
What exactly did he expect me to do?
Ren's expression hardened briefly before he quickly masked it with a gentle smile.
I knew something was wrong with him. No wonder his parents treat him like that. He really is strange.
But then another thought surfaced.
This might actually work in my favor.
He likes me…?
How convenient.
"Well…" Ren finally said with a bright smile, "things like this happen."
"You can't really control who you like."
He shrugged lightly.
"So it's okay. Liking someone isn't a bad thing. The gender doesn't really matter."
Shiharu's shoulders relaxed immediately.
Relief spread across his face.
What a nuisance, Ren thought irritably while forcing his smile to widen.
He irritates me.
"So… it's okay for me to keep liking you?" Shiharu asked hesitantly. "You're really okay with that?"
Ren studied him quietly.
He's not that bad to look at, I guess. Pretty, even.
Just painfully naive.
But what's the harm?
I can use him… and get rid of him later.
"Mhm," Ren replied casually. "You can like me all you want."
He paused slightly before adding,
"I can't promise to feel the same way… but I can promise to stay by your side."
Shiharu's face lit up with genuine happiness.
He nodded eagerly, accepting the condition without hesitation.
That innocent soul had no idea what awaited him.
Ren was his first love.
In his heart, Shiharu believed that one day—given enough time—Ren might come to love him too.
Outside the room, Hoshiyuki had heard everything.
A faint smile appeared on his lips.
A slow, painful one.
So… he fell in love with my younger brother.
And Ren doesn't seem to mind.
Then I have no reason to interfere.
What else could he do but quietly wish them happiness?
If that was what Shiharu wanted… then that should be enough.
The smile on his lips trembled slightly.
Hahh... Am really done for. Aren't I?
From that day onward, Hoshiyuki slowly began distancing himself from Shiharu.
He began spending most of his days by the lake.
Alone.
At least, that was what he believed.
In his mind, Shiharu was happy—spending his time with the person he loved. But the truth was far different. Shiharu was constantly ordered around, insulted, and humiliated at the slightest provocation from Ren and the friends who delighted in bullying him, sending him on endless errands as if he were nothing more than a servant.
One day, Shiharu finally gathered the courage to speak.
"I don't like the way you've been behaving lately, Ren."
Ren's response came instantly, sharp and careless.
"You like me, don't you?" he said coldly. "Then you might as well deal with it. Or what—did you lie when you said you liked me?"
He scoffed lightly.
"You're not the type to lie, right? Think about how I'm putting up with all this because of you."
"Tsk. Excuse me."
He shoved Shiharu aside and walked away without another glance.
Over time, Ren stopped even pretending to hide his disgust. No matter how hard Shiharu tried to please him, nothing changed. The gentle boy who only longed for love and attention found himself growing more miserable with each passing day.
He cried.
He begged.
But none of it mattered.
Was he truly so cursed that he was never meant to receive even the smallest piece of affection?
Ren only made his suffering worse.
Until that evening.
Ren wasn't home, but his friends arrived looking for him. When they encountered Hoshiyuki instead, he dismissed them without the slightest interest, as if they were beneath his notice.
Annoyed by his indifference yet unwilling to challenge him, they eventually left.
As Hoshiyuki returned inside, another figure emerged from the second house in the large compound.
Shiharu.
And just like that, he became the perfect target for their frustration.
They dragged him toward the mountain.
Shiharu didn't resist.
He simply assumed it would be like every other time—that they would hit him, mock him, and eventually leave him alone to deal with the pain afterward.
But this time was different.
Unbeknownst to them, Hoshiyuki had followed.
It was only then that he realized the truth.
All this time, he had believed Shiharu was living happily beside Ren.
But the reality was the complete opposite.
When they reached the high cliff overlooking the lake, everything happened in a blur.
A shove.
A sudden slip.
Two faces filled with shock.
Hoshiyuki's.
And Shiharu's.
Neither of them had expected it.
Shiharu fell.
His body disappeared into the dark water below.
Hoshiyuki lunged forward desperately, reaching out toward him.
But he was already gone.
In that moment, the truth became painfully clear.
Shiharu had never truly wanted to live.
With a heart and mind filled with such relentless torment, how could he?
How could someone love life when it had never shown him kindness?
It's okay that you left. You can't heal when the people around you only make you sicker.
But I'm angry with you too. You should have asked for help… instead of carrying everything alone. Did you really think you could just leave me here… and walk into the land of the dead by yourself?
How ironic.
You're so kind and understanding that you can't see how cruel the world you live in is.
My dearest… I'll bring you back.
You can have my life. I never wanted it anyway.
Live for me.
If living hurts you so much that you want to throw it away… then live for me instead.
I promise you this time… you won't wish for death again.
I'll make you happier than you've ever imagined.
Because you deserve it.
His eyes closed briefly.
Mine…
Mine alone.
A faint smile touched his lips.
My Romeo… I like you.
You're a dream.
Do you understand?