Missio arrived at the Augustus manor minutes later. Parking the SUV in the illuminated garage, he stepped out of the vehicle and locked it. He exited the garage, the lights dying behind him and headed towards the manor.
The familiar scent of his house brushed past him as he entered, easing his nerves. Taking off his shoes, he placed them on the shoe rack near the entrance before heading towards the living room. He threw himself onto the couch, sinking his entire body into its soft fabric.
He just lay there... silently and closed his eyes.
As he did time flew by.
Then an hour or so later, Lilla approached him.
"My lord… Sir Victor is asking for you."
He opened one eye, tiredly looking at the maid. Grunting, he sat straight and exhaled heavily.
"Okay, I'll be there in a few." Missio replied.
Lilla nodded and returned to her duties. Missio sighed, sliding his fingers through his hair. He lingered for a few seconds before standing up and moving towards the hallway at the edge of the stairs. Half a minute later, he reached a certain wooden door.
Missio halted before it and stared at it blankly for a second. Then, he twisted the doorknob and pushed it open. The light of the room flooded the dark hallway, pushing away the darkness that plagued the hallway.
Missio stepped inside and turned his head slightly.
A man was sitting on a small couch, smiling at the Bereft. His blonde hair that parted in the middle to reveal his forehead danced from the small breeze that slipped through the window.
Wearing a buttoned white shirt and blue pants, he crossed his legs and pointed at the seat opposite of him with his palm.
"What's up, Kiddo? How did your day go?" The man asked, his green eyes glistening behind his spectacles. "Come on, sit down."
Missio's lips couldn't help but curl slightly as he sat down. Leaning back, he lowered his head and replied:
"It went well, Victor."
Victor nodded, adjusting the sleeves of his shirt. Then, the small faded from his face as he locked eyes with Missio.
"I see – I see… but I heard from Lilla that you seemed a bit more stressed than usual today."
Missio paused for a moment. Lifting his head, he tilted his head slightly.
"Well, I guess… it was a tad bit stressful today."
Victor tilted his head, sighing with a soft smile. Then, he leaned back and spread his arms.
"Let's do this... one more time."
Missio nodded grimly, a somber smile appearing his pale face.
Victor sighed, interlocking his fingers. Placing his arms on his knees, he leaned forward and peered towards Missio.
After a few seconds of heavy silence, he asked in a solemn tone:
"...Are you afraid?"
Missio didn't reply for a second. Then, his mask cracked as his trembling lips finally parted.
"Yes..."
"What are you afraid of?"
Victor inquired further.
Missio paused for... a while. He contemplated a lot, his mind bubbling with countless emotions. With a heavy heart, he cleared his throat and answered Victor's question:
"I... don't know."
The Therapist didn't reply, allowing Missio to grimly laugh at his answer.
"It's strange, no? People are supposed to know what they fear. It's an instinct that has helped us survive over countless generations, something had allowed us to survive many disasters and horrors. Everyone knows what they fear and yet... here I am... saying I don't know what I fear."
The Bereft coughed as Victor watched him silently. After drawing a deep breath, Missio continued to speak.
"It's pathetic yet it's the truth... My brother is afraid of snakes. Who wouldn't be? They're slippery, can kill with with a single bite and make scary hissing sounds. But me? I don't fear snakes... I don't fear the dark, I don't even fear death... or dying for that matter."
Missio hesitated and then looked out the window. Gazing the crescent moon in the night sky, his smile become even bitter.
"People would think I fear nothing but... I am afraid. Afraid of what I don't know what I fear. Yet, I know I don't fear the unknown. Why? Because I've become dull to the things I'm not aware of. In fact, I've in total unawareness... that is where I feel the most safe."
Then, the poor soul shifted his gaze away from the moon and towards his therapist.
"For 19 years... my trauma has been haunting me. No matter what I do or what I think, it always lingers. It's stuck in my mind like some damn parasite. Is that what I'm afraid of? Of revisiting those memories that left a scar on his mind... I don't know. It's unclear to me."
Once Missio finally closed his mouth, Victor didn't linger for long and questioned his patient further.
"If you don't know what you fear... then why are you still afraid?"
Missio chuckled lightly and sulked in his seat.
"Ah... that I wonder. I wonder a lot in fact! That is exactly why I'm still afraid... because I want to know what I'm afraid of and... and... It's not like me."
Missio lingered for a moment before saying in a solemn tone:
"I hope to find what I'm afraid of one day. Then, maybe I could finally be free of all my suffering. That's why I continue to search, that's why I continue to cling one. Hoping that one day... one day that my efforts won't be in vain and... I could know what I dread."
A heavy silence drowned the room. The leaves of the garden surrounding the manor rustle and a small gust of wind swept past the duo. Then, Missio held his head with his palm and exhaled heavily.
"Or maybe I am afraid of the unknown... but I'm not convinced. I know my fear. I felt it, I lived through it but... I've forgotten it... and now, I suffer everyday, trying again and again to know what's haunting me."
Before Missio could continue, Victor's voice cut him. His voice cut through the air, snapping Missio back to reality.
"Forgetting is normal, Missio. I forget things too and yet, here I am – living. You don't need to dwell on the past. You don't need to find out what's bothering you. You can just forget and move on. Most people do. However, the most curious ones…"
Victor's gaze pierced Missio.
"They still struggle to find it. You can just move on Missio, leave it all behind. What's good in remembering all those things? It'll only bring you more pain."
Hearing his therapists words, Missio couldn't help but chuckle.
"You don't understand, Victor – nobody does… I can't… I can't just let it go. After all the suffering – after all the pain – after all the nightmares I've been through, you expect me to give up so easily? No… I will find it no matter how long it takes…"
Victor sighed, a somber smile appearing on his bright face.
'Works like a charm...'
The two sat in silence, embracing the cold and quiet atmosphere with no words. Minutes passed in a flash and suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Missio's and Victor's heads flicked towards the opening entrance.
"My lord, Dinner is ready."
Lilla's figure appeared at the doorstep, the light illuminating her figure in the dark corridor. Missio sighed and stood up. He glanced at Victor one more time before passing Lilla and heading towards the dining hall.
Lilla didn't follow immediately and instead turned to Missio's therapist.
"...Would you join him for Dinner?"
Victor smiled and stood up as well.
"Why not?"
He exited the room, passing Lilla and trailed Missio to the dining hall. Lilla flicked the room's lights off and closed the door.
Then, she headed towards the dining hall too as the wind howled in the lonesome dark night.