Later that morning, Mia was carrying a stack of forms to the student council office when Caitlin brought up the rankings again.
"So this is what you two do now?"
Mia shifted the papers higher against her chest. "What?"
"Compete over exams."
"We took the same exams."
"You know what I mean."
Mia did. She kept walking.
Caitlin took half the stack before the papers could start sliding. "You got second. He got first. Then the two of you stood there arguing over two points."
"We weren't arguing."
"You were both smiling."
Mia glanced at her.
"I saw it."
"It was about the rankings."
"Sure."
Mia turned the corner toward the council office.
Caitlin had mostly left things alone during midterms. There had been enough schoolwork to keep everyone busy, and Mia had been grateful for it.
"You know I'm going to ask eventually."
"I know."
Caitlin walked beside her for a few more steps.
"I'm asking now."
Of course.
They reached the student council office. Mia pushed the door open with her elbow and was relieved to find it empty.
She set the forms in the tray beside the whiteboard. Caitlin dropped hers on top and straightened the pile when it started leaning.
Neither of them left immediately.
"So?" Caitlin asked.
Mia checked the hallway through the open door. Nobody nearby.
"Cait."
"Yeah?"
"If I tell you, don't do anything."
Caitlin frowned. "What would I do?"
Mia gave her a look.
"Okay. Fair."
"I'm serious."
"I know."
Mia picked at the edge of one of the forms before remembering they didn't belong to her. She pulled her hand away.
"Ray confessed to me."
Caitlin stared.
Mia waited.
Nothing.
"Cait?"
"What?"
"You stopped moving."
"I know."
Caitlin blinked. "When?"
"Before midterms."
"The bridge?"
Mia stared at her.
Caitlin's eyes widened. "That was the bridge?"
"Keep your voice down."
"Sorry."
She lowered it immediately.
"That's why both of you were acting like that?"
Mia nodded.
Caitlin leaned against the table.
"Oh."
"What?"
"Nothing. I'm thinking."
Mia waited.
"What did you say?"
That part was harder.
"I didn't know what to say."
"So you said no?"
"Eventually."
Caitlin stayed quiet.
"He asked if I could ever like him that way. I froze."
"What did you tell him?"
Mia pressed her lips together.
"I said I didn't know."
Caitlin's eyebrows went up.
"And then he kept asking because I wasn't answering properly, and I..." Mia stopped.
"You what?"
"I made it worse."
"How much worse?"
Mia told her enough.
She didn't repeat every word from the bridge. She didn't want to. Ray had confessed before Mia had any idea how to answer him. What she eventually managed to say had hurt him anyway, and since then neither of them seemed to know how to act around the other.
When she finished, Caitlin stared at the floor for a while.
"Okay."
Mia waited.
"Do you like him?"
The question came faster than she expected.
"I don't know."
Caitlin frowned.
"I've known him since we were kids. I know what I feel about him as..." Mia stopped.
"As Ray?"
Mia nodded.
There wasn't a better answer than that.
Caitlin pushed herself away from the table.
"Okay."
Mia frowned. "Okay?"
"What else do you want me to say?"
"I don't know."
Caitlin picked up her bag.
"I still can't believe he got first."
Mia stared at her.
"What?"
"We were talking about something else."
"I know. I can think about two things."
Mia pushed the office door open.
Caitlin followed her into the hallway.
"He doesn't even look like he studies."
"He does."
"When?"
"When people aren't bothering him."
"So never?"
Mia almost smiled.
"He studies differently."
"Meaning?"
Mia thought about Ray sitting through lectures looking half asleep and then remembering some minor detail months later. Sometimes he'd stare at a problem everyone else had already worked through and notice the one thing they'd skipped.
"I spend more time studying than he does."
Caitlin slowed down.
"That's upsetting."
"Yeah."
They kept walking.
After a while, Caitlin asked, "So what are you going to do?"
Mia adjusted the strap of her bag.
"I don't know."
"You two can't avoid each other forever."
"I know."
"Have you tried talking to him?"
Mia glanced at her.
Caitlin sighed. "Right."
"When we were younger, I used to keep bothering him until he stopped shutting me out."
"You?"
"Yes."
Caitlin looked genuinely surprised.
Mia frowned. "Why is that hard to believe?"
"You're very polite."
"I wasn't always polite to him."
"Huh."
"Don't."
Caitlin smiled.
Their classroom was already visible at the end of the corridor.
"It was easier back then," Mia said.
"Because you were kids?"
"Maybe."
Back then, if Ray disappeared, Mia went looking for him. If he stopped answering properly, she sat nearby until he got tired of pretending she wasn't there.
Following him had never felt like something she needed to think about first.
They reached the classroom before Caitlin could ask anything else.
The three boys were already around Ray's desk when Mia entered.
Blake was talking while Mason sat on a chair that probably belonged somewhere else. Dylan stayed at his own desk with his phone beside his notebook.
Ray was trying to work through all of it.
Mia headed for her seat.
She heard the first comment while taking out her books.
Two girls behind the next row were talking quietly.
"I still don't get how Montrose got first."
"Maybe Rowan gave him her notes."
Mia paused.
The other girl lowered her voice.
"Didn't she have those fourth-year review sheets?"
"I heard he had copies."
Mia put her book down.
Caitlin had heard them too.
She started to turn.
Mia caught her wrist under the desk.
"Cait."
"They're saying he cheated."
"I heard."
"So?"
"Don't."
Caitlin stared at her.
Mia let go.
Across the room, Ray was still bent over his notebook while Blake talked beside him.
The girls kept going.
"I mean, he hangs around Rowan all the time."
"Not anymore."
"Maybe that's why."
Caitlin shifted again.
Mia caught the back of her blazer.
"Seriously?"
"Please."
"Why?"
"They'll keep talking."
"They're already talking."
"I know."
Caitlin lowered her voice. "And you know he didn't cheat."
"Of course I know."
Ray's pen stopped.
A second later, he started writing again.
Mia released Caitlin's blazer.
"If we make a scene, everyone's going to stare at him."
Caitlin glanced across the room.
"Fine."
The girls behind them had moved on to something else by the time class started.
Ray never turned around.
At lunch, Mia spent the last ten minutes of class deciding whether she should go over to Ray's desk.
The bell rang before she settled on an answer.
She stood anyway.
Caitlin was packing her things. She looked up, saw where Mia was headed, and grabbed her lunch bag.
"I didn't ask you to come."
"I know."
Mia gave up.
Ray was still at his desk with Blake and Mason nearby. Dylan had already stood and was checking something on his phone.
Mia stopped in front of Ray.
He looked up.
"Hey."
"Hi."
Mia adjusted her grip on her lunch bag.
"Are you going somewhere for lunch?"
Ray glanced toward the door.
"Probably."
"Do you want to eat with us?"
Blake stopped talking.
Mia refused to look at him.
Ray glanced at Caitlin, then back at Mia.
"Why?"
The question caught her off guard.
"Because..."
Nothing followed.
Ray waited.
"I wanted to ask you about one of the exam questions."
His expression changed slightly.
"You can ask now."
"I don't have the paper."
"Then later."
"Mia."
She stopped.
Ray rubbed his thumb against the edge of his notebook.
"You don't have to do this."
"Do what?"
He was quiet for a second.
"This."
"I'm asking you to eat lunch."
"Yeah."
"That's all."
Ray looked away.
"No, it isn't."
Mia tightened her grip on the lunch bag.
Blake had turned toward the other side of the classroom. Mason was staring at his phone now.
"Why are you making it weird?" Mia asked.
Ray looked back at her.
"I'm making it weird?"
She regretted the wording immediately.
"I didn't mean..."
"I know."
Mia tried again.
"We talked yesterday."
"About grades."
"So?"
"So that was easy."
She didn't know what to say to that.
Ray closed his notebook.
"I'm not mad that you asked."
"It sounds like you are."
"I'm not."
"Then come with us."
He shook his head.
"Mia, I just don't want to do this right now."
She nodded.
"Okay."
Ray put the notebook in his bag.
Mia stayed where she was.
Before she could make herself move, he spoke again.
"I'm not trying to be an asshole."
"I know."
His shoulders loosened a little.
Ray stood.
"I'll see you later."
"Yeah."
He left the classroom.
Blake watched him go, then glanced at Mia.
He didn't say anything.
Caitlin touched her arm.
"Come on."
The cafeteria was louder than usual.
Mia and Caitlin found a table near the back. Mia opened her lunch and spent more time moving things around with her fork than eating.
Caitlin let her.
After a while, she started talking about the line at the noodle stall. Mia answered when she had to. Caitlin switched to something from basketball practice, but eventually even she ran out of things to say.
Mia stared at her tray.
"This is usually when I'd talk to him."
"Ray?"
Mia nodded.
"About what?"
Mia gave her a tired look.
Caitlin understood.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"You'd tell Ray about Ray?"
Mia covered part of her face with one hand.
"That's the problem."
Caitlin laughed once, then stopped herself.
"Sorry."
"It's fine."
Mia dropped her hand.
Whenever something went wrong, Ray was usually the person she ended up talking to. She remembered sitting beside him after awkward confessions and worrying that she'd embarrassed someone. Ray mostly listened until she ran out of things to say, then told her which parts she was overthinking.
"I used to tell him every time someone confessed to me."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah."
"What did he say?"
"Depends."
"Did he ever act weird about it?"
Mia thought back.
Ray had always listened.
"Oh."
Caitlin frowned. "What?"
Mia rubbed her thumb over the edge of the plastic fork.
"I think I took that for granted."
Caitlin was quiet.
Mia glanced around the cafeteria even though she already knew Ray wasn't there.
"I miss talking to him."
"Yeah."
Mia frowned. "That's it?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know."
Caitlin stole one of her fries.
Mia let her.
After a while, Caitlin said, "He probably misses you too."
Mia glanced up.
"Probably," Caitlin added. "I'm guessing."
"Very helpful."
"I said probably."
Mia looked back down at her food.
"He didn't want to eat with us."
"Yeah."
"He said he didn't want to do this."
"Also yeah."
"So maybe I should leave him alone."
Caitlin picked at the corner of her napkin.
"Maybe."
Mia looked up.
"What?"
"You told me not to interfere. I'm trying."
Mia almost laughed.
Caitlin leaned back.
"I don't know what he wants. He probably doesn't know either."
Mia heard Ray's answer from earlier again.
So that was easy.
Asking about the exam had sounded a lot better than telling him she wanted to eat lunch with him again.
"I wasn't really going to ask him about the exam."
Caitlin raised an eyebrow.
"I did have a question."
"Okay."
"I did."
"I believe you."
Mia pushed her tray away.
Caitlin watched her stand.
"Where are you going?"
"I don't know yet."
"Mia."
She picked up her bag.
"I'm going to find him."
"You just talked to him."
"I know."
"And he said he wanted space."
Mia paused.
"I know."
Caitlin waited.
Mia adjusted the strap over her shoulder.
"I'm not going to make him talk."
"Okay."
"I just want to find him."
Caitlin looked unconvinced but nodded.
"What are you going to say?"
Mia opened her mouth.
Nothing came.
"I'll figure it out."
"That part worries me."
"Thanks."
Mia started toward the cafeteria doors.
"Mia."
She turned.
"If he tells you to go away, go away."
Mia frowned.
"I mean it."
"I know."
Caitlin pointed toward the lunch Mia had barely touched.
"And you didn't eat."
"I'll eat later."
"You always say that."
Mia backed toward the door.
"Cait."
"What?"
"Thank you."
Caitlin waved her off.
"Go."
Mia left the cafeteria and stopped outside.
The hallway split in both directions.
She looked left first.