"—Dark, rainy, and lonely…" I whispered to myself as I tried to see through the opaque window beside me.
No. Don't go there. I thought, shaking my head from side to side in an attempt to push away bad memories. I need to calm down...
Settling into my seat, I took a deep breath before my gaze drifted back to the gray ceiling of the bus I was on, filling my head with all sorts of deep thoughts.
By the way, I haven't introduced myself. I'm Christopher Bristol, and… well, I'm here to tell you a long story that continues to this day. I remember that back then I was 27 years old. I suppose you'll say I have some very strange thoughts, but the truth is I'm not usually like this.
If I remember correctly, my story begins when I left work at night. I stopped at the bus station to go straight home, but threatening rain was looming.
"Hopefully the bus won't take long," I said to myself, then yawned from exhaustion and wondered what I'd make for dinner once I got home. After waiting several minutes, one finally arrived, just before the rain began to pour.
Thank goodness. I thought, quickly getting on and looking for a seat in the back. Minutes passed, and after waiting for more passengers, the bus finally set off, carrying me and a few young people through the darkness of the remote road.
"Wait, are those young people from my old school?" I wondered quietly, watching them from behind with curiosity. "Yes, yes they are, because even though the uniform is slightly different, the emblem they're wearing is still the same one I wore back then."
Sighing with nostalgia, I noticed that their group consisted of three students: first, a young man who was probably in his final years of high school; second, a girl his age; and last but not least, a girl about five years younger who wouldn't stop teasing them with her jokes.
Haha, a situation like that brings back memories. I thought with a knowing little smile, watching the two of them turn red as tomatoes while the girl pointed at them.
Judging by how she acts, she must be one of their sisters…. I thought, just before a memory from the past filled my mind.
"Sister…" I whispered, watching them longer than I meant to and causing the girl to notice me. Oops.
I looked away and settled into my seat, pretending to play dumb. I hope she doesn't think I'm some kind of weirdo or anything.
With the added pressure of not looking forward, my gaze turned to what lay beyond the window. I realized the stretch of road, full of slopes, was darker than usual, probably because there was no moon that night and the sky was still cloudy, hiding the starlight. As I kept watching, I focused on the raindrops on the other side of the window, stirring more memories and dark thoughts in my head, like the thought that kept reminding me there was no one waiting for me at home.
Ahh... if only my sister were still with me....
There had been days in my life when I could remember my family without it hurting so much, but that night, with the rain beating against the window and the students laughing a few seats away, it was harder than I wanted to admit.
"Dark, rainy, and lonely, everything is just like that night…" I murmured, pressing one hand against the other.
No. Don't go there. I told myself more calmly, trying to reassure myself as I felt the guilt start to take over again. I need to calm down and help someone as soon as I get home….
With renewed determination, I looked ahead and noticed a light appearing in the distance on the other side of the road. I focused on it until I had fully recovered from the strange loneliness I felt.
Hearing the students laugh again, I looked back at them as they laughed and enjoyed those moments life gives you. My heart felt recharged as I remembered how wonderful it was to still be alive.
"AAAAHHHHH!!"
A scream cut through my thoughts, making me try to focus again on what I'd been watching so I could figure out what had happened. But before I could, I felt a strong impact against the side of the bus, and my shoulder slammed violently into the window. What…?
The same car whose headlights I'd seen a few seconds earlier had just hit us, making us lose control. Don't tell me....
In just a couple of seconds, I heard the tires screech and saw the driver turn the wheel, trying to regain control as the bus tilted farther and farther until it finally gave way to the abyss.
...So my time has finally come.
Clutching the seat tightly, I tried to hold my place, refusing to give up as the bus fell in free fall. No, I refuse to accept this. I have to do something!
Everything was happening too fast, until I felt an electrical force run through my brain, making time seem to slow more and more and helping me think rapidly in the few seconds I had left.
In a state I'd only experienced once before this, my eyes fixed on the students' screams as they caught my attention again. I looked up and saw the young man trying to protect the two girls with his body, holding on to the seats on either side of him.
He won't be able to hold on like that…. I thought with concern, watching one of his arms begin to give way under the girls' weight.
"Give me your hand!" I shouted, letting go of one of my supports so I could reach out to him as the bus struck part of the mountain and began to roll.
For an instant, I managed to touch his arm, and we looked at each other for a fraction of a second before the tumbling bus separated the four of us.
After losing my grip, I was thrown all over the place, breaking several bones in the process. Fueled by the adrenaline of the moment, I tried to lift my head and find them among the glass and chaos, but I couldn't do anything to help them. No… they're still there. I have to….
I wanted to reach out, to get closer somehow, but my body no longer did what I wanted. With the final impact, the noise began to fade and everything went dark, leaving me with nothing but the image of the three of them huddled together and the desperation of not having been able to help.
I'm sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't help you.
That was the last thing I managed to think before the darkness consumed me completely.
°°°
I couldn't... I couldn't help them.... I repeated unconsciously as I slowly woke up.
Huh…? What happened? I thought, realizing I could still think. Wait! Am I still alive?
I tried to open my eyes, but my body wouldn't respond. After trying repeatedly, I finally managed, and understood my current situation.
When I managed to focus my eyes, I saw a great road surrounded by darkness. Thousands of people were walking in the same direction as me, so close together in some places that I could barely see the ground between them. I looked at what little I could see, trying to find some trace of the bus or hear a familiar voice, but there was nothing. Where am I? And more importantly… why are we all walking in the same direction?
I wanted to turn my head to look for the students, but I couldn't. I tried to raise a hand, stop, or open my mouth to ask the people around me what was happening, but nothing—nothing. My body kept moving forward, completely ignoring what I wanted to do. Easy, easy. Try again.
Focusing all my attention on my right hand, I tried to move just one finger, but even that didn't work. But what's going on? Can't I control my own spirit?
For what felt like a long time, I tried calling out to someone, looking for the students, or awkwardly praying, among other things. In the end, I got nowhere, and felt a little discouraged.
I counted about 53,118 souls ahead of me, but none of them are the students or anyone I recognize. That makes me think they're probably behind me, or maybe they survived. I thought naively, trying to hold on to that possibility despite remembering what had happened to the bus. I just hope that wherever they are, here or back on Earth, they're all right.
I kept looking for things to do to occupy my mind while I waited for rebirth, judgment, or whatever was coming, until a related thought crossed my mind.
Wait… we're all going in the same direction, which means… does everyone who dies come to this place? I concluded. If that's true, that means I'll get to see my family again!
Excited and a little worried at the same time, I began planning what I would tell them so they'd know what I'd done after they were gone.
Let's see. Since Mom and Dad passed away in that epidemic, I worked hard to help people who needed it, just as Mom would have wanted, and to be someone dependable like Dad. I grew up, studied, graduated, met all kinds of people, worked, made friends, and was even going to get married. But after losing my sister, I fell into a temporary depression, which pushed me away from my girlfriend even though I didn't want it to, and we broke up just a few days before the wedding.
I can't say it was a great life, but at least I can say I tried—or I think I did—because I always managed to get through everything, no matter how painful or difficult it was. I concluded, letting my mind fill with memories from my entire life.