Killian is kissing me, and my whole body responds, but I can feel Lucius storming straight toward us, his jaw locked, fury written all over his face, not even trying to hide it.
What the hell is going through his head? His heart? Am I really more than just a passing whim to him?
Sarah, the President's daughter, grabs his arm and squeals with excitement.
"Look how adorable they are! I knew you two were lovers!"
But Lucius doesn't stop. He yanks his brother away from me and snarls,
"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Stay the hell away from Carmilla… from the gardener… that's what I meant. We're Longfields. We have more important things to deal with."
Killian reacts instantly, shifting into a fighting stance.
"Wow… what the hell is wrong with you? Are you losing your mind or just jealous? Since when do you give a damn what I do? Back off. You don't want to throw hands with me right now—you won't last two seconds."
Sarah lets out an awkward laugh, clearly unsure what to say as the two alphas look ready to tear each other apart…
I step between them and shout,
"We all had a brutal day… Can we please just grab a drink and chill for one damn second?"
Then I look straight at Killian and add,
"If you hit your brother, you'll lose my respect forever. If I actually mean something to you, don't do it… Please don't disappoint me."
I walk over to Lucius and say,
"Carol—the woman who adopted me when I was little—taught me something stronger than all the money in the world: she taught me how to forgive. What did I ever do to you for you to treat me like this? Either tell me or apologize. No middle ground. Not tonight."
Sarah sees the tears in my eyes, takes my arm, and pulls me away, saying,
"Come on, sweetie! Let's take this bottle of champagne and leave the boys to keep playing wild animals—growling and showing their teeth—while we talk like actual human beings. Walk with me."
And there I was, feeling the world getting stranger by the minute, this spiral of madness sinking deeper into the impossible. There I was, drinking straight from the champagne bottle with the President's daughter, walking away from the Longfield brothers. Yeah, me—the same girl who buried my beloved Carol just days ago and had been begging for more time to pay off her debts so I wouldn't lose the house. Now I was being hugged by Sarah, who turned out to be charming, funny, brutally honest, and way sharper than either of those two. You want to know what she told me, bestie? Listen.
She brushed my hair with her hand and never stopped looking at me. It didn't make me uncomfortable; it felt… nice. Then she leaned in and confessed,
"I'm going to tell you something I learned: money and power aren't always enough. I was never the prettiest girl in class, not the smartest either, and I was terrible at sports. But my dad was already a powerful mogul aiming for the Senate, and everyone said he'd become President one day. So I got plenty of attention from boys—and some girls too—but I would've traded all of it to be like Paola Ricco, this scholarship girl. Her family was so poor they had to sleep in their car for a while, but she was a real queen: so happy, so kind… so beautiful. When Paola walked into a room, everyone orbited around her like satellites. Natural magnetism. I would've given anything to be like that…"
"But my reality was different. I was born rich but without any special spark. Just following whatever my father dictated. I'll probably end up married to Lucius. I'm not complaining—he's a walking god, all masculine and gorgeous—but I'm not stupid. I know marriages in our world are just for show. He'll have his mistresses, I'll have mine, and love will be nothing but a footnote… He'll never orbit around me. I don't have that inner gravity Paola had. You know the worst part? Ten years ago, she was shot while protesting a bill my father pushed in the Senate. She died right there, holding a sign that said, 'Lower the taxes.' Understand? Indirectly, my father killed the girl I admired most… and he killed any desire I had to be different too."
Moved by her honesty, I ask,
"Why are you telling me all this?"
She smiles and says,
"Because you—tiny as you are, with those strange eyes and that short hair—you've got gravity on your side. Don't you see how you pull those two in and turn them into little boys fighting over you? I'm not going to tell you to only look at Killian and that Lucius is mine. Men's hearts don't work that way, and neither do ours. Like I said, if Lucius and I end up married because our families order it, I wouldn't be surprised or mad to know you're still in his life, that you're one of his lovers. But let me warn you: the toys little boys fight over always end up broken from all the pulling… tossed into dark corners of the room, forgotten. The boys just move on. I'm telling you this because if you're going to end up shattered, at least let it be like Paola—who died for something she believed in. At least let it be for love."
She gives me a pat on the back, almost pitying me, and I understand that if I really do have this involuntary pull on people, to her it's nothing but a curse.
We go back to the Longfield brothers a few minutes later. We find them asleep side by side on the couch. Sarah wakes them up by clapping loudly near their faces, and we burst out laughing when both of them jump to their feet.
Lucius walks over to me and says,
"Little girl, come here. I need to tell you something."
I look at him, surprised, and follow. Inside, I think: Is he actually going to apologize?
We walk over to the trees, and then, in a completely different tone than he's ever used before, he says,
"I don't know how to do what you're asking. I don't know how to feel like I owe you an apology. It doesn't come naturally, and maybe that's because you don't understand what's really happening here."
For a second, I think he's about to get arrogant again and tell me I'm nothing next to him, so I start to walk away, but he catches me by the waist and says,
"Don't go, little girl. I mean I'm not good at letting people see what's inside me. And yes, my mind keeps telling me to push you away, to remind you over and over that this isn't your place. I do it because my heart knows I need to keep you away from me. Little girl, I'm dangerous for you… because I'm the only one who sees you for who you really are. I feel everything you've suffered, and God help me, I'm the only one who can give you what you need to bring order to the chaos of feelings, sensations, and thoughts you live in… I'm the only one who knows you crave structure and discipline. Do you think Killian knows that? Does he know how you react to me? Every word, every gesture I've made has been to keep you away from danger… Little girl, I'm exactly what you need and what you want, but I feel like you won't be able to stay here much longer, and you'll end up hating all of us. You don't belong here."
And then, leaving me as stunned as you are right now, my soul's best friend, he walks off to talk to Sarah and call it a night on the dock…
We head back the way we came, and I go straight to my room. Outside, the helicopters and vehicles that brought Sarah are already leaving, taking her back to her world. I strip off my clothes and sink into the hot tub… That's when I start crying… don't judge me, it had been one hell of a day. I fall asleep so deeply I don't even hear my phone. When I wake up, there's a message from Killian:
"Hey, little one, I was knocking on your door. Thought you'd let your hero in and we'd do more than just kiss, but okay, you're sleeping. Rest up."
I wrap myself in a towel and then…
Knock, knock, knock.
"God… Killian," I whisper to myself…
I drop the towel, throw on the white blouse closest to me, and slip into a pair of pajama pants.
Knock, knock, knock… again.
I check myself in the mirror, run my fingers through my hair, and ask myself: Is it happening today? Am I really going to let him in… and make him my first?
So I open the door…
And there he is—so beautiful, so imposing, so determined to come inside… I simply close my eyes. He steps in, shuts the door, moves behind me, and in my ear I hear the arrogant voice of Lucius say:
"Little girl, turn around and look at me… or I'm going to have to teach you some discipline."