I Got Shameless Fortune System
Chen Wei was a 26-year-old IT programmer from Shenzhen who died in the most legendary loser way possible — he choked on instant noodles while binge-reading cultivation novels at 3 AM on a Tuesday.
When he opened his eyes, he was inside the broken body of the most pathetic young master on the entire Qianling Continent — a boy with the same name who had just been publicly humiliated, stripped of his clan's jade token, and hurled off the Mourning Cliff by his own cousins.
He should have died. Again.
But at the bottom of that cliff, bleeding from seven places, with a spiritual root officially ranked as "Mud Grade" (yes, that's below Trash Grade — the examiner who tested him actually laughed), something awakened inside his shattered dantian.
[DING!]
「 SUPREME SHAMELESS FORTUNE SYSTEM activated! 」
「 Scanning Host... 」
「 ... 」
「 Scan complete. Results: Disappointing. 」
「 Spiritual Root: Mud Grade. 」
「 Talent: None detected. 」
「 Looks: Aggressively average. 」
「 Will to live: Suspiciously low. 」
「 Congratulations! Your sheer worthlessness has triggered the PITY PROTOCOL! 」
「 First Gift: +1 Constitution. You can now survive a light breeze. Barely. 」
This System is not normal.
It doesn't reward hard work. It doesn't care about talent. It rewards shamelessness, cowardice turned clever, and doing things so stupid they loop back around to genius.
Compliment your enemy mid-battle? → +500 EXP
Get face-slapped by a young master? → +1 Random Skill Ticket
Successfully run away from a fight you started? → TRIPLE REWARDS
Eat something no human should eat? → Constitution boost + diarrhea
But what makes this System truly terrifying — and truly annoying — is that it has a soul.
Not metaphorically. Literally.
The System can manifest a physical form.
Most of the time, it appears as a bored-looking young man in white robes with silver hair, dead eyes, and the personality of someone who has watched a thousand hosts die and found it mildly entertaining. It sits on Chen Wei's shoulder (tiny form), leans against walls judging him, and narrates his failures like a poetry recital.
「 Host is currently being chased by a Stage 3 Demonic Boar. Host's speed is inadequate. Host's screaming, however, is world-class. 」
But sometimes — usually at the worst possible moment — the System shifts into a female form.
A devastatingly beautiful woman with the same silver hair, a teasing smile, and a voice like honey poured over a knife. She appears when Chen Wei is trying to be serious, when he's in front of important people, or when he's alone and vulnerable.
She leans close. She whispers. She says things like:
"Host~ Your heartbeat is elevated. Is it because of the incoming danger... or because of me?"
"You know, if you complete this mission, I might show you something nice~"
"Oh? You're blushing. How cute. And here I thought your face could only express 'confused panic.'"
Chen Wei: "CAN YOU STOP CHANGING FORMS IN PUBLIC?! PEOPLE THINK I HAVE A DUAL CULTIVATION PARTNER!"
System (female form, filing her nails): 「 And that's the most impressive thing anyone has ever assumed about you. You're welcome. 」
The System — who Chen Wei eventually names "Jiu" (meaning Nine, because "you're a 9 out of 10 on the annoying scale") — becomes more than a tool. Jiu is a companion, a tormentor, a mystery. Because as Chen Wei grows stronger, he starts to realize:
Jiu remembers things no System should remember.
Jiu sometimes looks at the sky with an expression that isn't sarcastic — it's sad.
Jiu once whispered, in her female form, while Chen Wei was half-asleep:
"...You're the 47th host. Please don't die like the others."
And when Chen Wei asked about it the next morning, Jiu smiled and said:
「 Host is hearing things. Probably brain damage from the cliff. Shall I recommend a doctor? 」
