Finally spring break and soon after this it will be summer vacation. My spring break starts tomorrow with the end of the school term. What will I do for this time? Ethan isn't here so I can't hang other with him.
My vacation has finally started but with nothing but vacation homework, Ethan isn't here and neither is Meg. Honestly Nick is here but I don't want to call him over. 2 minutes later he knocks on my door...it's Nick. We just end up chatting up a storm and I enjoyed every minute of it, I can't be falling for him but I love being around him.
Soon after my alarm goes off it states "pack up for grans" now I have to get ready. My brother is gonna pick me up soon and Nickel doesn't want to leave. He stands at the door and asked me for a hug, I hug him but he won't let go, he leans in and tells me that he loves me and hates to see me with Ethan even though he knows we are not together. I whisper in his ear "you are great but I don't date" it won't work between us because there is no spark, he is water and I'm fire so all he will do is put me out.
On the road to gran Ethan calls and we have a 2 hour chat together, I find myself laughing more than I had expected to. It's crazy right. He said he had found himself a keeper, Ethan has got a girlfriend and now I'll tease him for this. It's kinda weird for him to have a girlfriend, we always do everything together...well be always did.
Will Ethan move on without me, will I forget him or will his girlfriend hate me? One of these are bound to happen right, I can't imagine life without Ethan. He may be annoying at times but he is my best friend the only person who understands me. The one guy I've accepted other than my brother. All kinds of thoughts like this keep popping up in my head for the whole car ride. I can't loose him well not now at least, we still have uni and then life then each others wedding and children to deal with. We can't be separated until we at least have our own families and we don't need each other...right?
I tell my brother about all my thoughts and opinions of what might happen if Ethans girlfriend comes along but he tells me that I'm being historical and that life wouldn't split us apart unless needs be. We are finally at grans I run up to her to give her a big hug and we walk into the house talking about how our year has been so far, hers has been amazing she traveled half of the world just for work. It's so unfair gran is not even 60 and her life is so damn perfect. This vacation will be fun.
It's been a week since school closed and now I'm totally bored but the benefit is that Ethan is coming over for my sister's birthday party sadly he will be bringing his girlfriend. This is gonna be a hard week to get through. My whole family is so excited, Ethan is like my brother he is family now. He and his girlfriend Àlessia are here. I try to talk to her but "stuff" keep me from her (my social anxiety) but I finally work up the courage to approach her, Ethan isn't with her so that's something right? We start a decent conversation about her, who she is, what she likes and why she likes Ethan.
What I got from her was : she's a 15 year old girl(one year older than Ethan, but he is into older mature girls and that's why him and Meg never got along) she is fun and full of energy. She enjoys having Ethans company and he knows that he is younger than her (which I believe is great ) and most importantly she loves Ethan for his crazy stupid, self-absorbed, lovable self. She is perfect for him, I like her no I love her for him. Ethan is impressed that I talked to her, like her and approve of their relationship. He honestly doesn't believe that it will work between them because she is awesome and he is just himself. I try to soften the mood and tension but hugging him and explaining how amazing he is, why I haven't left him yet and why I chose him over Nick and all the others before Nick (boys that tried there luck that is, I'm not that bad). He leans in and kisses my forehead and tells me "thanks I love you too
weirdo" I sink in deeper to this hug. Yeah yeah I love you
A few days later Àlessia has to leave so Ethan and I are finally alone I work up the courage to tell him that she is way too perfect. That she could split us up and that we won't be able to hang out with each other anymore because he will be too focused on her. Ethan said "aww you love me that much" and kissed me on the forehead(which was always a normal thing when we were kids but now we are older and he has a girlfriend) I told him to stop, for his girlfriend of course.
The rest of my vacation was with Ethan. Everything was put back to normal, am I jealous of Álesia or am I just being overprotective of Ethan? I probably just don't want to loose the only person who understands me. I wish everything could go back to normal. I wish I didn't meet him.
Things would be so much better if my chains where unlocked and if I could move forward without him pulling me back. I'm forever trapped well Ethan says that once both of us let go we will be able to get rid of all these chains and locks. I guess he isn't lying but I feel like I rely on Ethan way too much. it kinda sucks. I need to learn to stand up on my own without him without them. I want to be stronger than anyone ever thought