In the middle of the night, I arrived and returned to my room and surprisingly, Kami-sama is still waiting on my bed, seated but with the face of a bit lonely and abandoned. Hah, she really is. . .waiting for me, huh.
I can't help but helplessly sigh. Did she realize I'm with someone? I wonder. Woman's instinct sure are scary! Sheeeh this is why I opposed the harem route, its inevitable to hurt your best waifu!
With that, I silently walk in front of her. She raised her head, only to looked at me with smile of surprised. Did her thoughts run adrift, enough not to feel my return?
"I've returned, Kami-sama" From that word of mine, she only nodded in relief.
And at the same night, in the middle of dripping her blood at my back---as usual, she said the word: "I see now, you look refreshed than the last time, as if you released loads of burden inside your heart but there's still there, unseen by the naked eye"
I might understand her but there are few things running through my head right now, so I late to realize what she meant.
"Yeah, this past few days, you look distress and restless" she release a faint force smile. 'I am here. . .always here, just don't left me behind' as if her words is not complete and that second sentence enters my brain as if hearing her word. Or am I imagining things?
"I did? He he, I really can't hide anything from Kami-sama"
"O-of course! I'm with you for two years! after all" So she claimed. But short pout could be seen.
I am sorry Kami-sama, there are many. . .many things you really don't know about. While thinking, I slowly lowers my head. Guilt runs through my vein. Without realizing that she leaned her head and body unto my back.
This past few days, I am busy giving a lesson to adventurers from Zeus and Hera familia every night to make them remember, they don't have the power to reckoned with!
Although killing is pretty common occurence for me, especially after arriving in this world, doing such job wore me down as this is the first time I dealt with so many people at once for the first time in long time now, and in this past few weeks, that is my routine. Adding of doing such cruel thing is taxing. My stomach turned upside down especially from the first few days of doing that job.
So I guess I can't argue with the 'restless' thing that Kami-sama is talking about. And even the word of Ryu-san enters my mind.
But don't worry, I won't let myself collapse. I'm a strong man after all.
Finally, we're now in my bed, seated as she started to talk to all of what happened today and tell even a single bit of details. She convey them all to me without missing a beat. Which made me happy of course. She's like a wife who helped you relieve your stress just hearing her voice.
Thereafter, still hearing her very words, there's this small conciousness that wanted me to confess everything. . .but the fear of losing her trust and more, made me doubt myself. Will she still accept me from all the lies I've been pulling since 2 years ago? Will she still accept me even with this cruel personality of mine? Who drenched with blood all over his hand? With this. . .unfathomable, broken and altered personality of mine?
I don't know.
I am powerless.
This feeling of guilt, lies and every negative thoughts is overflowing right here and then that even saying a simple word, is very tedious task. . .only to swallow them back.
"What you and Lion-san did this whole night?" This time, her whisper penetrates my spine who started to shiver violently. Sweat started to form from every pores of my body!
I knew it! At the end of the day, woman instinct always ruled! Argh, scary!
●○●○●○
Inside the deepest floor of the Dungeon, in one of few Neutral area.
Members of Loki familia keep on moving forward, persisting and trying their best to atleast to break their own record who arrive to a much deeper floors.
But the trio, Gareth, Finn and Riveria alone couldn't shoulder this weight. Are we still not enough? They thought and doubted their capability so they decided to halt their advance.
For the rest, only the amazon sisters, Bete the werewolf, Ais and Laventeinn is the one who overcome this limit called 'level', 'status' and 'stamina' ---especially Laventeinn who is in all this aspect, had many gaps--- to step their feet further forward and beyond what their levels can't! What their staus can't! But was still pushed back in the end and helpless.
No matter what they did to struggle, its not enough to push the insurmountable wall called monsters who linger in this deep floors!
"Here, Laventeinn"
"Good job Ash-kun"
"Good job everyone!"
Loki's low level familia tried to cheer their main forces, as the above mentioned rested their exhausted body wherever they saw fit.
"Thank you"
Laventeinn took a deep breath. "Shaaaa, its harder than I thought" he muttered.
"Keep it slow, you are still level 2"
"The only strongest level 2 that I know, Kuhahaha"
After a while, Finn and Gareth arrived as the latter holds a bottle filled with sake and gulped it in one breath.
Eyebags filled Laventeinn's under eye who look at the duo as exhaustion and weariness overwhelmed him.
The resting place of this familia's main forces isn't far from each other so the Amazon sisters and Ais can hear their conversation.
Simultaneously, noticing that Finn enters his vision and was seated while Gareth also seated not far away. Finn asks "May I ask what worries you? Although you're always proactive before? As if you've become a completely different person, afraid of someone" whom stated it as the fact.
With few pauses, Laventeinn agreed after his deep long breath "Haaaah, yeah captain, you are right. I am terrified. As if one big mistake and. . ." whilst covers half of his face with one hand. Shaking.
"And. . .and what?" Finn throws another question in curious.
This time, Riveria along with others whom she power leveled, arrived one after another. She happened to hear Laventeinn's and walk near their area.
Riveria saw it too, the exhausted face of Laventeinn who has mixed of terror and worry, she didn't saw his usual cheerful aura right at this moment as if he turned into a complete and different person. No, ever since before entering the dungeon, she felt it. And as she's not always with Laventeinn's team, this is the first time she saw him in distress outside the battlefield.
"I don't know, but I know, I want to tell you but I can't, I must not! I ought not to! But I wanted to!" Laventeinn still covers half of his face and shivering. He wanted to cry but he can't. He shouldn't!
"You contradict yourself, how can we help if you didn't share your burden? Aren't we one familia? Isn't it common to share your burden or two?!"
But Laventeinn didn't reply.
"Leave him, Finn. The only thing we can do right now is to help him out of that 'breaking point', prying an information he don't want to share. Isn't that the ironclad rule of an adventurer?"
Hearing the two---Riveria acts more mature than Finn this time which surprised the pallum himself---Gareth chuckles from the sideline. One has the pride of the strongest and hope of the pallum, while the other is an old and high-ranking elf.
But he is worried about the human right there. He should have to break that invisible wall no matter what, lest he'll bound to get doomed! So did Gareth thought.
Concurrently after Riveria's word, the Amazon sisters look at each other, only said nothing in silent. Ais also did the same. . .well, its always been this case for her no matter what happen to others. 'She don't know'.
But Laventeinn-san is the most cheerful guy she knew amongst her familia, this is why, she is looking at his forlorn shoulder. Reflecting him to herself like a mirror.
Silently. . .there's something within her---different yet the same is comparable to this man. . .She didn't know, she never did know. But she is curious, so she wanted to know.