That embrace gives me calmness and assurance that everything will be alright.
"Don't say anything. If you want to cry, then cry." Ivan said.
We were awkward, so I let him go and smiled at him.
"Everything will be fine, right?" I asked.
"Yes." He smiled. "Why are you always lying to yourself that you're okay?"
I just put a smile on my face again. I don't know the answer to that question.
"Because I want to lie to myself that I am strong," I replied. "My body is weak, I am weak, but my heart is strong."
"You don't have to carry all the problems that your friends have, that the world has. You're a human too, and you're not a superwoman to save them always." He glanced at me.
He has a point. I looked up at the sky. There are no stars this night.
"You know, you're too stupid to make yourself vulnerable because of other people, " he said. "In this world, no one will stay by your side but you."
I didn't speak; I just listened to what he was saying.
"Don't be gullible. You have your own emotions and life that you must protect and prioritize." He said. "Weren't you saying earlier that mental health matters? Why didn't you prioritize your mental health? Why did you keep on saying to yourself that you're fine? Why didn't you acknowledge that you were hurt? Why are you always keeping to yourself that you're struggling?"
"Because no one wants to listen to me," I said while teary-eyed.
He fell silent and stared at me. He doesn't know how to carry all the burdens you don't want to tell because you're afraid you might ignore again. How hard it is to hold your tears while you're on the verge of crying, how difficult it is to keep your mouth shut while listening to their rants, and while you're ranting them about life, they keep interrupting you and ranting about theirs.
"If the shoe fits in with you, you will understand me," I uttered before I wiped my tears. "It's hard to be me."
I stood and turned on his side again when I was about to walk.
"Thank you for giving me this hair clip. It means a lot to me." I smiled before I left him in the dark.
They were in the middle of the party when I got back to them.
Wow! They didn't even wait for us.
"Where have you been?" Coleen asked me.
"I talked to my mom," I replied before I ate a barbeque.
"Where's Ivan?" Jacob asked me.
"I'm here!" Ivan shouted while running towards us.
"Where have you been?" They asked him.
"Ah. I was just talking to someone, and then she suddenly left me, " he replied before he glanced at me.
I bit my lower lip and looked down.
He's too honest. Argh!
"Okay! Let's start the party!" Karl shouted.
He played loud music, and they danced nonstop. I want to dance, too, but dancing isn't my thing.
"Why don't you dance?" Sheena asked me.
"Why are you still here with me?" I asked her as well.
"I'm shy, " she replied. "I remember when we were in college, we always talked about K-drama. And we had fantasies in our minds that someday, we would end up with them. We had a lot of husbands before, and now, we don't know where they are."
We're reminiscing about those days when we always had a new husband every time there was a new drama.
"Louise, do you remember when we talked about our crushes?" She asked while looking at me.
I laughed. "Yeah, of course!"
We let out a big sigh and immediately laughed at each other.
"Did they regret that they didn't choose us?" She asked, looking up in the sky.
"I don't know," I replied.
We fell silent and looked up at the dark sky. There was a long silence between us, but we could still hear loud music.
"Do you know that I had a suitor before?" She uttered.
I looked at her. "Yup. I saw it on Twitter."
Her eyes grew bigger. "Why didn't you tell me? Or ask me about that?"
"Why should I? I don't want to be a hindrance to your love life, it's because every time you would tell me about your fling, they would vanish. It seems like I'm the unlucky one." I laughed.
"Yeah, it's true." She said. I immediately looked at her and beat her.
The loud music stopped, so we looked at them. They were turning on their seats now.
"I have a pickup line," Karl said while holding a beer. "Louise, are you blind?"
"No. I can see how ugly you are." I replied.
They burst into laughter.
"No, I'm serious. Are you blind?" He asked again.
"Why?" I said.
"Because you can't see that I like you. BOOM! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed while running around us.
We laughed at him because of his reaction. He's getting crazier every day.
"It's my turn!" I raised my hand. "For Karl."
He stopped running and looked at me.
"Are you deaf?" I asked.
"Why?" He smiled widely.
"Don't you hear that I don't like you?" I asked.
They were screaming endlessly. Karl froze in his place and didn't know how to react.
"Roasted!" Ivan shouted in front of his face.
His members teased him nonstop. I didn't mean to hurt him; it was a joke. I like him—as an idol and friend.
"So, what are your plans after your vacation?" Jacob asked us after they teased Karl.
They're already sitting in their seats now.
"As usual, we will return to normal life," Lovie replied.
We let out a big sigh. Honestly, I don't want this night to end because we will live again in reality.
"Do you have a first dance?" Yohan blurted out.
We looked at him confusedly. He brought up that topic in the middle of our serious conversation.
"Why did you ask?" Laura asked him.
"Hmmm... I'm just curious." Yohan uttered.
"Don't you think it's magical if we'll dance with the girls?" Justin asked the boys.
"Yeah, agree. The sky is full of stars." Jacob said.
We immediately looked up, and there were a million stars in the sky. Earlier, there was not a single star above, but now it looks like a galaxy.
Wow! Is this real? It's so enchanting.
"Before we end this night, let's dance the girls under the night sky full of shining stars." I heard Ivan say.
Marie played Falling in Love by Six Part Invention. I looked down to see what was happening, but my eyes went straight to Marvin across from where I was sitting. He's staring at me as well. I can't see anyone but him. In a crowd of different people, the only person you will see is the one you love.
"Can I be your first dance tonight?" Ivan suddenly interrupted us.
While you're looking at the person who brings out the best in you, you will surely hurt someone.
"Can I?" He asked again while waiting for my hand.
I smiled at him and reached for his hand. Ivan placed one of his hands behind my back, and he tightened the grip on my hand. The two of us just talked and suddenly laughed while dancing.
"Thank you for making me laugh. You're still one of the funniest people I know." I smiled.
I don't know what to add, but I have a lot of things that I want to say to him.
"You're always welcome, Louise." Ivan smiled as well.
"Can I dance with you?" Jacob asked me after I danced with Ivan.
I smiled at him, and then he held my hand. He put my hand on his shoulder and held me by the waist.
"I fell in love with you when I first saw you," Jacob said.
Why are they so vocal when it comes to their feelings? I'm not used to it.
"That's why I asked you if you believe in love at first sight. The day I laid my eyes on you, I knew to myself that I'd like you," Jacob uttered, looking straight into my eyes.
"But, how? I'm not your ideal girl, Jacob. I'm just one of the invisible girls. There's a lot of pretty girls out there." I was finally able to speak.
"As I told you before, there is no reason why you like the person. The reason is unknown, right?" He said, smiling.
"I don't know what to say, but thank you for liking me." I smiled.
"No. Thank you for existing in this world. Now, I know what an angel looks like." Jacob muttered. "She's in front of me and dancing with me tonight."
Can he be lowkey to his feelings towards me? Because I can't hide my smile.
I just smiled at him and watched the stars scattered in the sky.
"It's so beautiful," I whispered.
"It's more beautiful watching them with you." Jacob suddenly said, so I looked at him.
I pinched his nose. I can't hide what I'm feeling right now because of him. I pointed to his left chest, where his heart was located.
"You must guard your heart, Jacob," I said. "If you feel like you're losing in love, sometimes you should give up. In this world, you don't always have to fight for the person you like because you will destroy yourself at the end of the battle."
"If you don't hurt, you don't know how to love," he said while looking straight into my eyes. "I'm willing to be hurt because I know how to love. I won't stop liking you just because you said it. I have my own heart and mind. I'll use them both."
I smiled. "I don't want you to be hurt, but I must choose one, right? Or should I ignore you all? Because no one deserves to be hurt."
He caressed my hair and held me on my chin. "Do you know why I like you? Because you are Louise. A very considerate, soft-hearted, and kind person. I promise that no one will be hurt; you can choose whoever you want, and promise me that if you're in pain, don't hide it from yourself, tell it to anyone or me. Okay?"
I just nodded.
Do I look like a cheater? Why does my heart beat for three people? Argh! It is getting harder to choose between seven men.
I pray to the Lord that after this vacation, they will find another girl who is suitable for them. Amen!
The night and the stars above were enchanting.
"Louise and Jacob, why are you still standing there?" We heard Johan ask.
I immediately left him alone in the middle and returned to my seat. That's embarrassing because no one called or told us the music was stopped. We're spacing out and changing our knowledge about fighting for a person.
"Group hug!" Karl shouted, and he suddenly pulled me.
Our night ends with a group hug and a happy memory that I can add to my story.