When I let my dogs out to potty, I didn't expect my yard to be hosting a giant in full plate.
The dogs ignored him, naturally. I had never had hallucinations before, so I was understandably on edge when I seemed to be experiencing a strange and exceptionally vivid one.
I almost fell into a sprint when one of my dogs walked right through the bonfire the giant was sitting around, only to walk out the other side like it wasn't there.
If anything proved that I was hallucinating, it was that.
The giant turned to me. I call him a giant, but only because he was almost a half foot taller than me, despite sitting on a sideways log by the bonfire, which is eerily reminiscent of Dark Souls, sword and all. He was probably only about nine feet tall, for as much as one can use the word 'only' in that context.
"Ahh, there you are. Don't mind the armor, just got back from a fantasy universe. Let me just cut to the chase: I am a God. Note the capital G. Specifically of adventuring and lewdness. Most just call me the Dude, friends call me The Lewd Dude. Now, I used to be a lot like you, actually- a mortal who hated his humdrum boring life and wanted nothing more than to go out and see the big wide world. Then I met a God of Isekai and his friends and a couple of centuries later, I obtained my current title. I believe in paying good fortune forward, so when I noticed your soul crying out for escape, I knew you'd be the perfect person to give the same gift I was given. So sit down, let's hash out how you want to live the rest of your life." He pats the log beside him. My dogs appear to finally notice him, as they trod right up, tails wagging. Traitors.
I decide to sit across from him. "How I want to live the rest of my life? Do you mean like… super powers or something? Or, isekai?"
He shakes his head. "Can't do the bog standard Isekai, not my title. Adventures aren't exactly much different, but it's the principle, you know?" He pets my eldest dog, a german shepard who's old enough that I've begun the painful process of recognizing the end is coming.
"I've taken the liberty of scrying your most probable futures, so we don't have to debate how this is gonna go for the next hour. Every Adventure begins with a Quest, and you have a few particular tastes. Let's see… Anti-NTR crusades, Bad End Prevention, Campaigning against villains.. You really seem to gravitate toward playing hero. Truly, a man built from my own plate." He laughs, and the dogs circle him, as he plays with them, he tosses me a scroll.
Just grabbing it out of the air fills me with information. DxD, Fate, Overlord, My Hero Academia, Cyberpunk Edgerunners. A million different hentai worlds. Each with a task to complete, a quest.
Many of them feel impossible as I am now. Corrupted Gamer Issei? Dead Space Memetic Bullshit in Cyberpunk? Angra Maynu Beast Sakura? Fuck, Overlord is at least straightforward. Ainz and crew are amoral, and will conquer the world unless stopped.
There was a saving grace, as I grabbed the scroll, my body shifted. I grew a few inches, finally surpassing six foot. My appearance cleaned up as the extra fat seemingly evaporated. I felt more confident, less likely to shy away from difficulties. It was like I took all the best parts of myself, upgraded them, then patched in some extra goodies from earlier in my genetic line.
It was more than just confidence, too. I could feel an 'aura' about me. A field of increased luck where romance was concerned.
"Looking good, once you select your first Quest I'll help you get kitted out. A few freebies to get you started, and if anything I have on offer interests you? You can pay for them using those nifty Quest Points I set up in your scroll."
I shake my head. "Not really, I'm debating between going big or not. The rewards are tempting, but I don't think I could handle most of the bigger threats. Especially when I don't know what I have to work with."
He taps one of his scrolls to the one he handed to me, and it updates in real time, listing out powers, items, and perks. The list is actually pretty long, and it takes me a minute just to read through them, then another few to compare them with the Quests.
"If I take Mori's Revenge Quest, it looks like I get Possession free, as a prerequisite. Can I get Haki, Incubus Teachings, and the Stand Arrow?"
"Interesting choices. Firstly, yes, you get possession free, it even comes with a hidden bonus you'll discover as you take on more Quests. As for your choices.. One power, one perk, one item.. Balanced. Alright. Yeah, I'm interested to see how you'll work with this. Technically Haki is more than enough to handle Mori's Revenge, but I think I see the beginnings of a plan here." He smirks, though I'm not sure how I can tell, under his plate helm.
He tosses the arrow at me, and it sticks into my shoulder. I hiss in response, but it didn't actually hurt. The arrow dissolves into light, and I know I can summon it again at any time.
More than that, I gained a Stand. Diver Down. Not the best by a long shot, but I could see some uses.
Incubus Teachings is exactly what you'd think, and while it's not mission critical for my Quest… Can't a guy indulge a little?
Haki is so straightforward it's not even funny. Hiroki was already a skilled karate practitioner, with the ability to predict his opponents in advance, harden his body to supernatural levels, and use his- my own willpower to directly knock out opponents? Kokujin has already lost.
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Author's Note:
Aaaand we're all caught up.
The other one I'm working on might become a story of it's own. Working title is 'Bad Luck, Good Cheats'. If it doesn't appear on this story in the next few days, then chances are hopeful that it might get it's own story.