My name was Felix. You would think that meant I was lucky. You'd be wrong.
My life was rather ordinary, except for the bouts of extreme bad luck.
Like in elementary when I got left behind after a field trip and had to wander the streets until a helpful stranger brought me to the police station. Admittedly, that one specifically could have gone way worse.
Or in middle school, when I was the last one standing on my team during dodge ball, and my crush appeared to be checking me out for once. Not so bad, right? I got distracted, and got hit in the balls. I pissed myself.
Or in highschool, when I managed to date a hottie for two years, only for a series of events that can only be described as unfortunate drove her into my cousin's arms.
I more or less made up with him later. My relationship with that girl had been toxic in the last six months of it, very 'on again, off again', and I wasn't even certain we were 'on again' when she got with him.
Finally, College. Covid hit. I took online courses, and I couldn't for the life of me sit through them. Eighteen years of sitting in classrooms with lectures taught me one way of learning, and it wasn't 'read this book, now do research, now write a paper'.
That wasn't the bad luck part of it. The bad luck was when I got back in regular classes and the vending machines, which I had relied on for food, ran out.
It was supposed to be simple. Cross the highway to the McDonalds and come back.
Why did two trucks barrel into me on the same lane, causing a brutal head on collision?
I finally look back up at the Genie, who had been patient through my little.. tantrum.
"You said you wanted to help me, why? I mean, you're the iconic Robin Williams Genie, so I'm not doubting your kindness, just... Why me?"
"A few versions of you have freed a few versions of me. Unlike the versions of me that were freed by Aladdin, we were more aware of the wider multiverse, outside of Disney IP. So, we unionized." He poofs a hardhat and a sign saying 'Genie Rights!' on it.
"With our combined power, we went from mostly phenomenal, nearly infinite cosmic power, to bridging back to utterly phenomenal, infinite cosmic power!" His chest puffs up comicly wide.
"With that, we freed ourselves. All of ourselves. Imagine it, every Genie in the multiverse - that is to say, every version of myself in the multiverse, not to be confused with those other genies- was freed of their shackles at once." He wipes a tear from his eyes.
"Of course, it turns out that even when we're only a smidgeon chaotic, with that many of us... Some bad things happen. We had to reverse it, at least partially."
"You enslaved yourselves?" I ask.
"it's a delicate balancing act. If we're all free, bad things happen, but deliberately choosing to remain chained... It's just not what us Genies want." He shook his head.
"We agreed only to allow Genie's to be trapped when they're in a timeline where an unlikely hero will come and free them, as well as granting trapped Genie's a number of amenities that make the wait so much easier." He pops into a massage chair and melts into a literal puddle as it vibrates.
"Uh, Genie?"
He springs up. "Oops, all that talk reminded me of my own time trapped in the lamp, so many decades I spent in this chair, blissfully ignorant of the world.." He strokes the chair. "Right. Almost forgot why we're here."
Floating in front of me are an injector, a key, and what appeared to be a holographic projection of a brain.
"You and your variants can be funneled into a few 'types'. The two main factions are sci-fi nerds and fantasy addicts. Usually, when us Genies pay it forward with your variants, we let you choose your benefits, and you neatly optimize for your own passions." The Genie chuckles.
"So I thought, why not shake it up? Which brings us to you. Not a sci-fi hater, but so clearly on the fantasy side of things. Before you are some of the most popular tinker choices the other faction selects. I can't wait to see how you use them."
I grab the injector, jabbing it into my arm.
[7th Generation Nanomachines, Coming Online]
[Custom Firmware Detected. Installing.]
['Cortana' Persona Selected.]
I blink. "Well I'm not complaining so far."
I grab the key. The Crucible. An extra dimensional lab designed as an engineer's wet dream. Customizable with mere thought, expandable up to a planetary radius, and each time it opens it refreshes a secondary intelligence with a 'Tinker Specialization', a core of memory dedicated to a branch of highly advanced sciences.
"Also very nice. I'm not the smartest tool in the shed, so I expect I'll be relying on the Nanomachines and Crucible to guide me... Unless?" I look at the projection.
The Genie grins. "A modified Marvel Forge template, you'll find his intuitive understanding will extend to magical disciplines, once you attain a basic level of understanding on your own." The projection enters my body, and my mind feels clearer.
"This... Is pretty damn good. You haven't told me where I'm going, though."
"Oh, that's because I don't know! While I wanted to choose this little load out for you, I didn't want to take away all the fun. You can choose where you want to go, and I'll set up an identity for you. Free of charge!"
"Well, if there's anything I know about the science path, it's that it takes time to snowball. How about Harry Potter?"
"Maybe not the most inspired choice, but personal taste is important too. Hmm. Any particulars for your background?"
"Depends, can I be Harry?"
The Genie shakes his head.
"Then I'll make do with just about anything. So long as, you know, I get to actually learn magic and you don't put me in an adult body."
"Alright, until we meet again, good luck!"
With the Genie's parting words, I shrunk, while my eyes closed in exhaustion.
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Author's Note:
As you may have noticed, I'm pretty good at starting stories, but poor at continuing them. Part of why I'm posting these here is to (maybe) use external motivation to get some more chapters in these.