Rhaegal had stood still as he watched his brother leave. It hadn't stopped him; he wouldn't know what to say to him. He knew very well what he was feeling, because he felt the same way too. He felt really… bad. It was absurd: he should have been grateful and happy that Akenothustar had done everything to give birth to him and his siblings, but instead he hated him. The thought that his life had never been his own, that it had always been someone else's plan, made him somewhat… empty. There was no other word to define what he was feeling. Absolute emptiness, inside his heart.
He looked at his sisters. Tikka sat down, indeed, she literally lay down on the ground, as if her legs were no longer able to hold her up. She looked somewhat frightened. Teramon had managed to stay on her feet, but she, too, seemed to have completely lost all ability to think. Of the three, Rhaegal was definitely the best placed; perhaps it was because he had already come in contact with a prophecy, and therefore had already partially accepted that fate wasn't something he could control, or perhaps it was simply because he had more mental toughness than the others... but of all, he seemed to be the only one who was still able to reason. Their companions and even the arachnes also seemed to have lost that ability; he was the only one who kept it.
Then Teramon turned to him; Rhaegal saw her dull gaze, and for a moment he thought of saying something to console her, and he was already opening his mouth to speak despite not having the faintest idea in mind of what to say to her, but his sister anticipated him. "Go to him" she told him.
Rhaegal bit his lip. "Are you... are you sure?" he asked looking at her and Tikka, since both seemed to need help. He wasn't sure leaving them alone was a good idea.
Teramon nodded slightly. "Thank you for the thought, but it's better that we girls deal with this situation on our own" she said looking at Tikka, still lying on the ground, with the corner of her eye. "There are things we need to talk about alone. You go and take care of Haku... you boys get along better between boys"
Rhaegal was silent for a moment, then he decided to trust her; Teramon seemed determined in what she was saying, so she must know what she was doing… maybe. At least, he hoped so. After giving them one last look, he made his way to the stairs and rushed down. He hoped Haku hadn't gone too far or done anything irreparable; knowing his brother's temper when things got out of his control, he wouldn't have been surprised to find him headbutting a wall. Luckily, he found him sitting in the fresco corridor, intent on observing the figures on the walls. His eyes were wide open and his lids did not move even for an instant, and his head was tilted slightly to one side; Rhaegal wasn't an expert, but he was pretty sure that wasn't a good sign. "Brother" he called him.
Haku turned his head slightly in his direction. Well, at least he still reacted to stimuli. Rhaegal realized that he had no idea how to start the conversation: he had to tell him to give a damn about what he had just heard, to have faith in the future, to... well, he didn't know. In the end he did what seemed easiest to him: "We have to talk" he said, hoping that after those words Haku would feel stimulated enough to start the conversation on his own.
Fortunately it was so; Haku was silent for several seconds, and for a moment Rhaegal feared he had misjudged his brother's reactions, but then he finally spoke. "What are we to talk about, Rhaegal?" he murmured in a strangled voice. "That our future is set in stone? That we don't have the power to decide? That we don't have free will? That we are just pawns in the hands of a stupid dragon who lived thousands of years ago and a cowardly god who disappeared for who knows how long and no one knows where it is? That our whole life has been programmed by someone, our every action, every decision, even our very birth? That we aren't people or animals, but just tools for a purpose? That..."
"Wow, wow, slow down!" Rhaegal exclaimed stopping him. "Listen... it's true, Akenothustar has meddled in our lives, and arranged for us to be born, and that's not... good... but that doesn't mean we don't have free will! We are still thought beings, we can decide for ourselves what to do with our lives!"
"Are you crazy? Do you really still believe in this nonsense?" Haku growled. "Open your eyes! Akenothustar knew our lives so well that he knew exactly when and where we would appear, and he placed the arachnes here because he knew we would arrive! What can you call this free will?"
"No, YOU open your eyes, brother! What you say makes no sense!" Rhaegal roared even louder. "True, Akenothustar acted like a real asshole. He planned our birth and demanded that we do what he thought we would do. I don't know what kind of person he was in life, but it sure was towards us shit. But that must not cloud your rationality! Akenothustar did not interfere with our lives. He had only seen what we would do and what direction we would take. You heard him, the future isn't just one, there are many and all possible. Akenothustar played with the odds and then took a leap of faith: he hoped that our choices would lead us here! Free will was part of Akenothustar's plan, Haku! Anything that you, that I, that we all did until today, we did it because we wanted to! No, we did it because we loved each other, and Akenothustar bet on that! But apart from making us born in a specific place, he didn't do anything else We did it all, by our own choice! The fact that Akenothustar predicted our actions so well is not because the future is already written, but that it was very likely that he would go in that direction, because we love each other, Haku, and love each other for us it meant doing those actions! Causing a war between ogres and fairies, saving each other, protecting us, realizing that there is more than just running away, your trying to create a community even if you didn't believe it in the beginning... all these things we did out of love for one another! And this is our will, Haku, and no one can control it!"
Rhaegal didn't know where those words were coming from; in fact, he didn't have the faintest idea what he was saying. He was just voicing whatever thoughts were going through his head. He wasn't even sure if what he was saying was an inescapable rational truth or complete idiocy. But perhaps he was doing the right thing: Haku's eyes seemed to glow with a faint light, and his expression changed from mortified to doubtful. Rhaegal almost thought he could see his brother's brain rekindling through his eyes, though he knew this was only happening in his imagination as the brain could never shut down and certainly couldn't be glimpsed through the eyeballs. "You're right... he... didn't interfere with our lives... just pushed them along the best path..." he murmured. "Though... you heard what he said, the God of Knowledge would make sure we moved in the right direction. And indeed we do... when I was a prisoner among humans and was taken to a party, a priestess of that god spoke to me and said some strange things... at the time I thought she was completely out of mind, but I remember that she gave me chills. So the God of Knowledge is watching us right now, and is trying to control us..."
Rhaegal let out a snort, again not knowing how to react. He too had received advice from a priest of the God of Knowledge, and from what Akenothustar had said, this god was indeed an ally. This showed that the God of Knowledge was actually keeping an eye on them and trying to nudge them towards a certain path. "It's true" he admitted. "But the God of Knowledge didn't interfere in our lives. He didn't push us to this place. He only gave us some advice, nothing more. Whether or not to follow that advice was our choice. If I now I advised you to go get yourself something to eat, would I be trying to control you? No! The choice of going to eat would be yours, yours alone. I would have just given you a little push. Stop making excuses, Haku: we are free Our future is decided by our actions. Akenothustar and... Henochar, or whatever it's called, only moved the pawns in the way most favorable to their cause, and then hoped that we would follow their path. It isn't certainly a good thing... but it is far beyond depriving ourselves of free will. We can also decide right now to screw Akenothustar and his plans and go back to our daily lives, or do whatever. It is our choice, not his"
Haku reflected on Rhaegal's words. In fact, his brother was right... the discouragement quickly left his mind leaving room for rationality. Yes, he wasn't wrong: they could still choose. Sure, many of their actions had been planned, and so far they'd been following the script, but that didn't mean they had to keep doing it. They could choose to be whatever they wanted. Why was he getting so depressed then? He hadn't bowed to the cruel laws of the world where he lived, why should he now let himself be bowed by a dragon that had been dead for twenty thousand years? "Yes, you're right. Sorry, I was acting like an idiot" he said with new hope in his voice. "That's exactly what we're going to do: we're going to fuck this place and go back to the surface. We're going to forget everything and..."
"Hey, hey, wait! Don't go from one extreme to the other!" Rhaegal stopped him again. "Don't you think we should at least… well... consider our possibilities first?"
Haku raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? Are you going to follow Akenothustar's plan, after all this talk you've been giving me about free will?"
"I'm not saying follow his plan!" Rhaegal exclaimed. Jeez, your brother was really stubborn sometimes. "We don't need his plan, we can choose to do whatever we want. But we should at least take the knowledge contained in those tablets, don't you think? And this army of arachnes, won't it be useful to us? And besides... if there is a chance to change this world, maybe we should at least consider it before discarding it. Isn't that what we're already trying to do? Create a community where dragons and newcomers can coexist? We could at least try to change the rest of the world besides our little corner of desert. We will do it the way we want, without following Akenothustar's plans... but I think we should do something. It could be an opportunity to save our kind"
Haku shook his head violently. "I don't want this. I don't want to put you in danger. And I don't want to be the king of all dragons"
Rhaegal sighed. "I know" he said, and it was true. "I know you don't want this burden, and you don't want to be a leader, and I know you doubt yourself. Even I would doubt if…well, what happened. But it's been years, and it's time you you leave the past behind you. The mistake you made that day should not cloud your judgment. You have changed a lot since then and I know you would never make such a mistake again. Even if you become king... you will be the king you choose to be. If you want to treat us as equals, you can. And we will always support you, don't forget that. And personally... if dragons are to have a king, I'd be happy if that were you"
"How can you say such a thing?" Haku asked. "You're still scared of me. Don't deny it"
"It's true, I'm afraid of you. But I also know that my fear is irrational. The fact that I can't get rid of it doesn't mean it's justified" Rhaegal replied. "I know very well that you would never hurt me again, and I trust you completely"
That word, 'trust', seemed to ignite something in Haku; the young dragon let out a very strong snort, and then he looked into his brother's eyes. "Do you trust me, mh? Yet you don't show it. Yet you have secrets with me"
Rhaegal's eyes widened. "Uh? What..."
Haku didn't let him finish the question: "Brother, what really happened while you were a prisoner?"