"So, let's give this a try."
A guy named August Madden who looks to be in his mid-twenties falls down into a lotus position, on the floor next to his bed. His shoulder-length black hair follows after him with a short delay.
"Just gotta clear my head and breathe, right? Can't be that hard."
He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath in. As soon as he finishes inhaling, his face scrunches up a bit.
"Oof, something stinks in here."
*sniff sniff* He takes a whiff at his armpit.
"Yeah, I'll go take a shower later. Doesn't smell that bad, but others are gonna smell it. Shucks, need to clear my head."
He relaxes his body and begins to breathe normally again. He's able to continue this for a little bit.
"Hmph, the floor is quite uncomfortable. Nothing said that I have to meditate on the floor. Why did I do this on the floor then? Come to think of it, I've only ever seen the monks meditate on the floor. Isn't the goal of meditation ultimate relaxation? I don't see how sitting on the floor for hours on end is relaxing. Maybe they're all a bunch of fakers. Hmm... or maybe they know something I don't... yeah that's probably the case considering I haven't done any research on meditation. Well doesn't really matter. I'll just go on the bed and continue there."
He gets up from the floor and sits on the bed. Again, in a lotus position with his eyes closed.
"Yeah, that's much better. This is ultimately relaxing, I can do this all day. Now just gotta clear my mind again."
He continues trying to meditate for almost half an hour, but every time he's close to emptying his mind, a new thought pops up in his mind like those annoying pop-up ads you see on almost every pirating site that you learn to just ignore after a while.
"Man, not thinking about anything is hard. Ahh wait, I can't believe I forgot about that part. It's not that you're not allowed to think about anything. You can think of stuff but you need to let go of those thoughts. Doesn't that technically mean that I've been meditating this whole time? If that's the case then meditating is much more boring than I thought."
He keeps this going for another half an hour before he decides It's been enough. Right as he's about to open his eyes though, he sees something.
"Huh? What's all this then?" he thinks with a British accent.
Even with his eyes closed, he can see these rainbowish-colored blurry particles floating around. It's almost as if they're slowly floating toward him.
"Now that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, they're definitely coming toward me. Will I reach enlightenment when I absorb them? Am I the chosen one?"
He keeps meditating while looking at the particles floating in his direction with amazed but still shut eyes. After he's absorbed a few dozen of these particles his phone rings jolting him awake from his meditation.
"Who dares interrupt the chosen one in his enlightenment!!? ...Yeah, nah I don't feel any different just wanted to sound cool."
He picks up his phone from the nightstand next to his bed and after seeing the caller ID he answers the phone.
"Hey, took you long enough, Oggie. Thought you weren't going to pick up." A man's voice can be heard from the other side of the phone.
"Yeah, I was taking a dump. What do you need?" August answered with a response thought up on the spot.
"Hey hey, no need to be so rude, and by the way, that's a shit excuse considering you've answered the phone while on the can a bunch of times. Come to think of it you're in the bathroom a lot, you should get yourself checked out by the doctor. You might have IBS but I'm only saying that as a friend and not as a med student."
"Why would you think I'm lying dude? I was just washing my hands when you called so I couldn't answer."
"Yeah yeah sure you were. Anyway, I and the others are going out for drinks soon and you weren't answering in the group chat so I thought I'd call and ask if you're coming too."
"Uhh, I'm kind of busy with a thing so I don't think I'll make it today.". August wanted to keep meditating because he had never experienced anything like it before and wanted to see if it was actually something supernatural or if there's just something wrong with his head.
"Aah, do you have a girl over or something?"
"No nothing like that. I'm just doing some research about a topic the professor talked about in class that interested me." August replied with a lie once again.
"Well if it's just that then you can keep doing your "research" later when you go back home"
"That's highly unlikely considering every time we "have a few drinks" I wake up the next day with a raging headache and no recollection of the night before"
"Haha but that's what makes it fun you know"
"You know I would've thought that a med student would care more about their health"
"If you're surprised that I as a med student get shit-faced once in a while, you should see some of the doctors at the hospital. Most of them smoke like It's their last day on earth. The medical industry is tough. You see a lot of sad stuff that keeps haunting you so it's no surprise that so many medical workers need some sort of escape... sorry for bringing the mood down. So you coming or not?"
"You know what sure... the usual spot?"
"You know it. See ya soon sweetie-pie"
"...what..."