Celeste's POV
Xavier doesn't let me pull out a chair, instead he pulls me into his lap. I glance at our friends talking at the end of the table. "Xavier," I whisper, embarrassed. Yet, I lean into his hold. He chuckles lowly in my ear, weaving himself through my hair to place his lips to my neck. They linger there for several seconds and I shudder at the sparks. I've missed those sparks.
A plate gets set down next to me. On it, lay a piece of toast and three pieces of bacon. Lycer sets a half filled cup of juice next to it. I give him a look. He scrunches his nose and takes his seat. I can't help but wonder what he's thinking. His hand shakes as he picks the bacon off the plate.
My own plate is filled. There's at least double Lycer's bacon, fruit, toast, and a small bowl of cottage cheese. Bringing my cup to my lips first, I'm pleasantly surprised to see Xavier chose apple juice this morning. Quickly, it sloshes down into my empty stomach and I understand why Lycer took so little.
We both pick at our plates as breakfast goes on. My frustration quickly grows at my arm in the sling. It's not my dominant arm and I didn't picture my need for it to be much this morning but I guess I use it more than I realize. Every now and then I go to move it, only to be stopped by the discomfort and the sling itself. I huff and Xavier rubs at my hip.
Jared eventually joins us but Jacob doesn't, likely running training. He sits beside Xavier, introduces himself to Lycer with a reach of a hand across the table, and pulls Xavier into a topic of discussion that doesn't please Xavier if the hand occasionally tightening on my hip says anything. Between bites, I rub at his arm.
I try not to overlisten; instead, I find myself flowing back into my regular conversations with Lesa and Josh. Only this time, Lycer is there. My heart swells at the addition of my best friend. He doesn't say much at first, merely nodding and smiling. Then, slowly, he starts to pitch in more. He asks questions more than anything. It reminds me of when I first got to Paramount Pack. I didn't really feel like I had anything to add to the conversation so I'd ask about others instead. And Lesa and Josh do the same thing they did with me, asking polite questions of Lycer that he's sure to be able to find an answer for. Of course, several times Josh asks a question that is a bit too personal only to get a shove from Lesa. Lycer would just wave his hands, smiling while assuring Lesa it was okay. Yes, he'd been a rogue his entire life. No, that doesn't mean he likes to break the law.
"I was born to a human mother, you see. Her and my dad had met and had a scandalous little affair, scandalous on both sides for whatever reasons. And then she had me. By the time I was born, their affair was over."
"What was scandalous about it?" Josh asks, biting at his lip as he leans forward. Lycer shrugs, taking a sip of his orange juice.
"Probably just their social classes, from what I've guessed. Mom hated to talk about Dad and Dad barely acknowledged ever actually caring for Mom. I learned to stop asking pretty young."
"Wait so you weren't a rogue in the sense of out in the woods?"
Lycer shakes his head. "No, no. I just didn't have a pack. When my mom died, Dad wanted me to find a pack but I was set on being on my own."
"What about his pack?"
Lycer opens his mouth to speak but says nothing, pausing for a moment. I reach over and poke at his arm, offering him a smile. I know how much he hates his father. Xavier, still in his conversation with Jared, pulls me back to him. "It's complicated," Lycer settles for. Josh hums, satisfied with the answer.
"I was a rogue once," he starts, popping a grape into his mouth.
"Shut up, no you were not," Lesa laughs out.
"I was too!"
"You ran from your pack and were in the woods for maybe two weeks," I argue.
"Two weeks of being a rogue!" He sighs as though it were a dream period.
"Yeah, being a rogue at 16. I remember that being lots of fun." I roll my eyes at him. He mockingly rolls his back. I stick my tongue out in retaliation.
"Celeste, how old were you when you and Lycer met?" Lesa's question has my mind searching.
"I don't really know?" I turn to him. He shrugs.
"It was a few years ago, for certain." His smile fades as he speaks until he just goes quiet, his eyes casting down. "Um, where's the bathroom?" His voice comes out with a lot less energy than he first gave.
"Down the hall, third door to the left." He gives an awkward half smile and leaves the table.
I watch him go, the door swinging behind him. Xavier presses his nose to my temple, briefly pressing a kiss to my cheek. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," I mumble. "Yeah," I reassure, blinking several times. I give him a smile and keep picking at my breakfast.
"Zay linked me, said she wants to check your arm when you're done."
"I'm done!" Lycer still hadn't come back. "I'll go now." I set my fork down, ready to go but his arm tightens around me. I turn back to him, frown on my face.
"I'll come with you."
"Xavier, we should really group with Jacob and Josh to-"
"Later, Jared."
"It's okay," I assure. "Go with Jared. I want to show Lycer the pack and then I'll meet you after," I offer, my hand finding his. His eyes catch mine, his jaw going tight. "I'll meet you after," I say quieter. My hand finds his cheek, his arm still tight around me as I lean up and press a light kiss to his lips. When I pull back, I stay just a breath away. "I'm okay." I give him a small smile. "It's okay." He grabs my wrist, thumb stroking at the skin, and pulls my palm to his lips.
"You'll meet me after?" His voice is a whisper, his eyes wavering. I nod. "Okay." His grip loosens on my waist and I let myself stand. I lean down, pressing a brief kiss to his lips that he tries to chase. I give him a smile. Josh gags dramatically from the other end of the table.
Zay is more than relieved with injury. "I think it just wanted to be fully cleaned," she remarks gleefully. "Externally, it's almost healed! How do you feel?" My opposite hand reaches up but I hesitate before I look at it. It aches as I do so. The skin is red but the wound seems to have sealed itself back together overnight, leaving several interconnected jagged red lines that bump up on my skin. I trace over them gently.
"Sore. There was a lot of stiffness this morning."
She nodded. "Yeah, that's to be expected." She leans back against her desk, a small smile on her face. She stays quiet for a minute, merely looking at me. "I'm glad you're home," she eventually says in that soft voice of hers.
"Xavier said it was three weeks?" My voice feels soft too but in a weak way. In a way that gives way to that feeling I keep trying to push back. I'm home. I'm home. I'm home. That's what matters. But, still. . . Zay nods and my heart breaks.
"You don't remember?" I shake my head. "What happened?"
"I-" my voice breaks. I clear it, hand coming to my throat. My eyes sting. "I don't remember that either." I try to recall it. It was dark. And cold. And I remember waking up to blood. Goddess, it felt like I could have drowned in it. It was still in my hair when I took a shower last night. I remember the pain in my arms, burning like a fire at first. And I have this blurry memory of Lycer. And he's screaming. Before I've even said hello, he's screaming. And then he's quiet. So quiet. And it's dark and it's cold and I'm in pain and I'm hungry and I miss Xavier. I miss my mate and my pack so much it filled all that I was. Time rings no bells.
"That's okay." We stay in silence for several moments. She pushes herself off the desk, walking slowly over to me with a drag in her step. She holds out an arm at my side and I lean into her. I bite at my lip as my eyes continue to sting. "That's okay."
Zay tells me we should try stretching my arm. A shock of pain burns down my arm the second the sling is off. I gasp, arm going around my middle to stop it from falling. A tear falls this time and I bite my lip. Zay gives reassurances, holding out a hand and settling the other on the back of my shoulder. She asks for my hand and I try - I try but it hurts. I shake my head several times, telling her no. It's not happening.
"Celeste, you have to try."
"We can try tomorrow!" I offer, biting through the lingering pain.
"Try today." I do, gasping in pain again. I try on my own the third time only for Zay to stop me as I wince in pain. "Okay, maybe tomorrow." I glare at her. She helps me put my sling back on and escorts me out of her office. We hug before parting, her eyes shining brightly as she squeezes my good shoulder.
I turn to the hallway with a new determination. I take a deep breath in, trying to find Lycer's specific scent. In a house of wolves and cooking and with Zay's office, it's not the easiest to find specific scents here; but, I manage to trace it back to what must be his room. I don't hesitate to knock on the door. He's slow to answer the door. I don't know if it's the clothes hanging off of him or the paleness to his face. "Are you okay?"
He gives a half smile. "Breakfast was a little too fast," he jokes, hand on his stomach. "Sorry, I um. Don't think I'm really up to that pack tour right now. I feel like complete ass."
I nod. "That's okay. Tomorrow, maybe." He smiles, nodding. "Get some rest. I'll have them send lunch up to you later but maybe you'll join us for dinner?"
He nods. "Yeah, that sounds good. Your friends seem nice."
"They are," I say, a proud feeling rising to my chest. "You didn't get to meet Jacob properly yet, did you?" He shakes his head. I hum, nodding several times. "He's a treat. Oh! And Zay! And of course there's little Delian. . ." I wonder where she was this morning? Maybe with her mom. . .
"I'm sure they're all great, Celestial." He gives me a smile. I tell him to get some rest, practically shoving him back into his room and into bed. Well, there goes my day.
I walk around the pack on my own. People stop me everywhere I go, telling me how glad they are that I'm back. Blessings are given to the Goddess tied to my name from at least twenty lips. I'm pulled into hugs and my cheeks are patted or kissed by every woman who talks to me.
The pack feels almost completely the same. The only differences being the snow that now sticks to every surface and road. In several shops, people have begun to decorate for the holidays. Streams of lights and garlands decorate walls and counters. Every other shop smells like pine while some still have their scents of pumpkin and spices.
I stop in the shop that Zay and Josh first took me to when I got here, grabbing several items that look like they'll fit Lycer. I'll give them to him tonight, I tell myself when I get home. I drop them off in my room before deciding to join Xavier in his office.
Jacob, Jared, and Josh are still in the room when I arrive. "-said a man in the dark markets gave it to him," Jacob huffs out. He gives me a nod when his eyes catch mine. I make my way to Xavier and instantly, he reaches for me. On his desk, on top of a wrinkled brown paper, sits my necklace. And my heart stops.
And suddenly I'm back in that white room. And I feel so alone. And scared. Then Christopher comes in. He's talking but I can't hear him anymore. He rips the necklace from my neck and I start to cry.
My hand shakes as I reach for it.
"This was delivered this morning," Xavier tells me, pulling me by the hand closer to him. I bump against his side. "A young fae boy said he was told to bring it here. Said 'Christopher wants to talk.'" I nod, my voice caught in my throat.
"Celeste," Jared starts almost cautiously, "did you leave this behind? Or was it taken?"
I nod again, taking a shaky breath. "He took it the same day I was able to contact Xavier."
I feel like that shackle is back on my wrist. What's in my throat? I feel- I feel-
Josh steps forward and it feels like he's both leapt at me and also not moved at all. "Celeste, are you okay?" I nod too many times.
"Hey." Xavier spins me to face him. And I see the training field out of the window. And then I'm there too. And Delian is apologizing. And it's echoing around my skull and I can feel the needle in my skin. My stomach turns. "Celeste." I gasp. I'd been holding my breath without realizing. "Guys, if you could give us the room. We'll discuss this later."
The blinds close. Xavier takes the necklace, putting it in a drawer in his desk. He doesn't say anything, just wraps his arms around me. When I lean my head on his chest, I can feel his heart beat.
"I'm okay," I tell him after a while. Or maybe I tell myself.
"I know." And he keeps holding me.