Ali POV
I had the song "Dip It Low" queued up for when Pen walked through the door. It was the same song Lisa played for both of us whenever any of us got laid after it came out. It took Penny all of two seconds after the door closed and the song started before she fell to the floor, rolling with laughter.
"Oh my God, I can't believe you, Ali. I needed that laugh though, especially after the awkward way Leonard was pouting at me."
I paused the song and frowned. "Do I need to kick his ass?"
Penny just chuckled and rolled her eyes. "No, thank you. I can handle him. He just seems so sad, and I feel bad for the guy—but he just isn't my type, you know?"
I scoffed. "Oh yeah, I know what your type is. Buff, braindead, and tall enough to make your freakishly tall self look small."
And with that comment, I stoked the flames of war. My witty repartee was rewarded with a pillow to the head and the retreating back of my sister as she hollered, "I'm getting ready for work. Try not to be a bitch when I get back."
I cackled as she flipped me the bird, knowing full well she was smiling as she walked away.
Penny managed to get ready in record time—she'd only be ten minutes late for her shift. I laughed as she ran from the apartment, mumbling curses at me under her breath.
About five minutes later, I heard Sheldon at the door.
**knock**knock**knock**Ali
**knock**knock**knock**Ali
**knock**knock**knock**Ali
I walked to the door with a smile on my face. "Hey, Sheldon. What can I do for you?"
He looked exasperated. "Hello, Ali. May I please come in?"
I nodded and moved aside to let him enter. He looked around. "I see you're finally unpacking. That's good—I was starting to get anxious about the mess. Would you like any help?"
I chuckled. "Yeah, the mess was getting to me too. But I finally have time to fix it and put things away. I'd really appreciate the help. Penny wouldn't be much use with organizing, so I figured I'd be stuck doing everything myself."
Sheldon paused, surprised I'd accepted his offer. "I love organizing things and would be more than happy to help. But first, I must extend an invitation to you as a courtesy."
I was happy for the help and curious about what he was talking about, so I motioned for him to continue.
"Alright. I originally came over here because Leonard told me to. He wanted me to invite you to dinner at The Cheesecake Factory with him, Howard, Raj, and myself. Personally, I find his attempts at flirting with both you and Penny egregious and wholly unwelcome in your case. I don't know Penny well enough to draw a firm conclusion, but judging by the size of the man she was kissing in the hallway, I'm assuming she's uninterested in Leonard's advances."
I full-on laughed. The thought of Leonard and Penny together was funny enough, but the way Sheldon had just laid it all out so sincerely was too much.
"Sorry, Sheldon. I'm not laughing at you, I promise. I'm laughing at the fact Leonard can't take a hint—even when you lay it out for him like that. And you're right about Penny. She sees him like a stuffed animal—cute to look at, but not something you'd date. She's too soft-hearted to be mean to him, but if he keeps pushing her, he'll find out what 'junior rodeo' means to her."
Sheldon looked puzzled for a second, then broke out in a breathy laugh. "That's funny, Ali. I assume Penny was part of the rodeo circuit."
"She sure was. Rodeo champion in our area for three years running. She could castrate a goat in no time flat. That girl can be deadly if given the opportunity. She wasn't Daddy's favorite for no reason."
Sheldon crossed his legs and gulped. "I wouldn't doubt that. Could you promise she won't go after me, please? I've had enough of my genitalia being targeted. My sister Missy always seemed to favor violence toward my genitalia as punishment for anything she deemed annoying."
I snorted. Penny used to do the same thing to Randall when we were kids and he'd barge into her room to steal her prize money. I looked at Sheldon's pensive face and said, "I can't promise that—she's her own person—but I'll try to keep her rodeo skills far from you."
He smiled. "Thank you. That's all I ask. I'll also attempt not to anger her. I'll have to pull up the rules I made for myself when I shared a room with Missy."
He shuddered, and I found myself growing curious about Missy. Maybe we could be friends.
"Let's get back on topic, Sheldon. I'd love to go to dinner with you—I haven't been to the store yet with all the chaos of moving in. I have one condition though: you have to sit between me and your friends. I really don't want to deal with them. Raj seems alright, but he's so quiet I don't think I've even heard him speak. Howard and Leonard, though... they give me the creeps. Mostly Howard, but Leonard's working his way up my 'you-give-me-the-creeps' list."
Sheldon nodded. "I agree about Howard, but we must make sacrifices for those we care about. Leonard, while creepy, is my friend. Howard just kind of came along with him. He does have his uses, though. He's more technically inclined than the rest of us. While I have the superior intellect, I've found it helpful to have someone skilled in the labor aspects of robotics."
I smiled. Even if Sheldon didn't agree with all their antics, it was clear he still cared about them. Look at me, all mature and shit. Penny would be proud. I'll tell her later.
"Let's go to dinner, then. I'll be nice, but I still need you to sit next to me. I don't trust Howard not to cop a feel. Even if he has his uses, I will punch him in the face."
Sheldon smiled. "Alright. I will also warn him to keep his comments to himself or to a minimum."
With that, I grabbed my keys and headed for the door with Sheldon following along.