In the end, there's nothing to it.
I can't blame the kids for bringing Bell here when I came with him myself, and I don't know if it wasn't Bell that brought them here to have a meal or not. There is, of course, one relatively quick way of finding out.
"So, what brings you all here?" I idly ask, "Just hungry, or are you guys celebrating a relatively good haul?"
"I got fourteen Drops, Captain!" Bell cheered, "So I decided to pay for our dinner when we got back. They cooked really good food when we were with the Loki Familia, and I wanted to try their pork cutlets!"
Aha, and there it is. Yup, nothing to it but to bite the bullet and move on. It isn't like I can keep Bell locked in a box forever, and I don't really want to.
"What's wrong, Bell? Didn't want to grab a bite to eat with the other maids over at Omphale's?" I tease him, fighting down a wry grin at the situation, though my face quickly shifts into a smirk as he twitches and begins blushing.
"I d-don't know what you're t-talking about," he denies me. Silly Bell, your face is too goddamn red for anyone to believe that.
"Omphale's Maids?" Syr asks, the waitress finally speaking up, "I didn't know you were into that sort of thing, Bell!"
I don't sigh. I want to, but I valiantly smother the urge, even as Bell mightily flusters.
Communication may not be one of my strongest areas, but Syr isn't making any moves to hide that she's digging for information.
"Hey, Syr. I'd like a steak, thick cut and medium rare. Mashed taters with gravy, and some broccoli," I gesture at Lili, but she shakes her head, "And a salad for her, I guess? Anyway, I had Bell take up a part-time job at Omphale's."
Bell chokes, and a couple of women eye him speculatively. Anya surprises me with a bit of vague interest in him, though Chloe's intense, hungry stare doesn't surprise me at all.
"Wow! I bet you looked super cute!" Syr giggles.
"Agh, uhk," Bell attempts to respond, and fails.
"What?" Relicadia asks, an expression of amusement slowly lightening up on her face, "I missed this? What the heck is Omphale's?"
Gil shakes his head and Al sighs faintly at her antics, but Syr happily responds.
"Oh, it's a cross-dressing maid restaurant!" she smiles brightly, "All the men have pretty faces and put on maid outfits! It's very popular with goddesses, from my understanding!"
Reli's mouth opens, then closes. She struggles to find a response but fails, the only thing she manages is an expression of glee, with a broad, nearly unhinged grin spreading across her face.
"Oh no," Al whispers, knowing what's coming and pitying Bell for it.
"Oh yes," Relicadia whispers.
"No. Stop," Gil frowns at her, and her expression wavers slightly at his stern look, but only slightly.
"So you had him take the job? How mean!" Syr declares, "What'd he do?"
"Called me a two-timing playboy," I respond, and Bell chokes, "Don't suppose we can get that food though, ma'am?"
"Sure, sure!" she chuckles, smiling at Bell as she leaves, the boy barely containing himself.
Damn, poor Bell.
Who would do this to you?
"Anyway, good job getting fourteen drops, kiddo. That's a pretty damn good haul," I compliment him, and Lili snorts next to me.
Bell glances at her, a little hurt despite not knowing her.
"Got something to say?" Relicadia challenges her, glaring her down.
"No, Lili doesn't believe she has anything to say to you," Lili responds evenly, staring at her from beneath her hood.
Reli's glare grows hotter and she opens her mouth to snap back, but Al places his hand on the blonde Pallum's shoulder, calming her.
"I don't think she meant it rudely, right?" Albritch murmurs to both Relicadia and Liliruca, eyes closed and gently smiling.
Bell and Reli look at him, but Gil and I are watching Lili, whose eyes tighten and she opens her mouth to respond.
Nope.
"Yup!" I cheerfully cut in, and Lili's mouth silently shuts, glaring at me, "I was underselling your achievement a fair bit, kiddo! You should be proud of getting that many Drops!"
"Yeah! He worked hard!" Relicadia cheers, then takes a big chug of her drink, and Al chuckles at her.
Gil doesn't say anything, quietly staring Lili down, who responds by flatly staring back.
"This is Lili!" I wave a hand at her. "She's my new Supporter, and has been doing this for much longer. She's basically my senior, and I hope to learn so much from her!"
A tic violently spasms below Lili's left eye, but she doesn't otherwise react as she continues staring Gil down, even as he smirks ever so faintly at her.
"Lili is super pleased to be working with Mister Crow," Lili calmly declares.
Don't let it get to you. Don't let it get to you. Don't let it get to you.
"He prefers to go by Ken," Bell 'helps' me, and Lili's eyes light up slightly as she clearly remembers me saying something similar.
"Oh, but Lili could never be so rude as to," she trails off for a moment as a sudden expression of realization spreads across her face, before it looks like she fights down a seizure for a moment, "But if he insists, it would be quite rude to call him anything else either! Sorry, Ken!"
What the fuck is wrong with my tiny mean girl? Is she defective? Are you okay, Lili?
"You, uh, you broken?" Relicadia tentatively asks, looking for all the world like she'd really rather not.
"Lili is fine," my Supporter answers her in a strangled tone, "It has simply been a long, stressful day."
Y'know what? I'm gonna help you get out of this one, free of charge, because it's like watching a train wreck, without having any understanding of what a train even is.
This discomforts me greatly, so I shall grant you this boon, tiny mean girl.
"Mhm, she had to put up with me all day long!" I chuckle, causing Lili to glare up at me, hooded eyes glittering angrily.
Hey, I didn't say I'd give you much help!
"Your steak's done!" Syr calls out to me, walking up with a plate full of food.
"What? That fast?" I blink rapidly in confusion, "Huh?"
"Well, you almost always order the same thing!" the waitress responds, poking her tongue out at me before continuing. "Steak, mashed 'taters', and some other vegetable or another."
"The gods made a place for all beef in this world," I wisely answer her, "Next to the taters and veggies."
"No comment about being so predictable?" Lili shoots at me.
"Nah, some things are so regular it's fine. Food is one of 'em," I smile at her, and she huffs, looking away.
Syr sets my food before me, places my cutlery beside the plate, and straightens up. She brushes her hands across her dress, smoothing away wrinkles, before turning to face Bell.
"Bell, please date me!" she earnestly asks him, and he chokes in response.
"A-ah, t-that's very, u-uhm," he responds.
Well, I said I wouldn't keep him locked down, but simultaneously teasing and helping him out is still in the cards. He already met Syr, so this… this should be fine right?
"Bell is currently trying to reconcile a powerful crush with his dream of being a hero that dates several beauties," I breezily say, smiling at my steak as I begin cutting into it.
Ah, why did I even bother making excuses? This was too goddamn funny to pass up, Reli seeming to agree as she chokes down laughter.
"Don't worry, Bell! I'll manage your harem for you!" Syr smiles at him sunnily. Relicadia fails to contain her laughter, and Bell makes a strangled croaking sound.
"Ganbatte, Bell-kun! All your dreams are coming true!" I cheer him on, and he tries to glare me down. It's incredibly ineffective, considering the absolutely red state of his face.
Sorry, Hestia, I wish you could have been here to see this.
The rest of the meal wasn't too interesting of an affair.
Lili and Reli continued to get under each other's skin while I attempted to arbitrate in between bouts of lightly teasing Bell for being such a ladies man. Al, meanwhile, had awkwardly supported Bell, and Gil simply carefully watched everyone and occasionally commented on something to stay with the flow of conversation.
It had come to a close, and Syr had cheerfully dragged Ryuu into telling us goodbye.
"Byyyyeeee, Bell!" Syr enthusiastically waved at my junior as we left, "Keep thinking on my heartfelt confession!"
"Aha, okay," Bell waves back, brilliantly red and ducking his head, "B-but, I'll have to see if it's okay, because, uhm…"
"Just bring her here, and I'll talk it out with her, yeah?" Syr steamrolls over him, "I'm sure we can all come to an agreement! Tell them goodbye, Ryuu!"
The green-haired elf politely waves us off with a composed, "Farewell, paying customers."
I snort and grin at that, waving back at her as I go, "Stay safe, Ryuu."
The elf bows her head slightly, before she gives a genuine bow, then turns to enter the Hostess again.
Lili blankly stares at the incredibly anime before her between Syr and Bell, eyes dead and emotionless as she takes it all in.
"Is he normally this much of a womanizer?" she quietly wonders, and Bell chokes, overhearing her comment.
"Nah, he has no game when he tries, but he's like honey for some women when he doesn't," I answer her, and Bell's choke shifts into a pained wheeze, and expression of disbelief sliding across his face. "Hey man, you have a woman that's telling you she's down for a permanent threesome; that's pretty weird."
"Captain, you're having a child with a girl a decade younger than you, and woman a decade older interested in you," he shoots back.
"Yeah, and?" I shrug, "They're Amazons. They're all a little odd in the head when it comes to sexual and romantic relationships. 'Sides, it ain't like they're interested in a relationship with me and each other like Syr, uh… seems like she might be."
Bell freezes completely at that, and I can practically see the mental image of a scantily clad Ais and Syr sharing a yuri kiss running through his head.
I'm not sure how I've suddenly gained such a potent skill with cold-reading, but it might have something to do with his thousand-yard stare and brilliant blush.
"I TOTALLY AM, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, BELL-KUN!" Syr hops, breasts wiggling as she waves, a giddy smile on her face.
Bell's redness deepens at that, and I watch in amusement as Ryuu marches back out and grabs Syr by the ear to drag back in.
"Ah! Ah, Ryuu, no! You're killing my charm points!" Syr panics. "I was raising a flag! I was definitely raising a flag! Don't ruin my genki- agh!"
My gaze deadens at that.
What?
The worst part is that I still can't be sure if that makes her a goddess hiding somehow, because it very may have well been that the gods' descent has truly poisoned this world to such a level.
"Keep her out of trouble, alright, Ryuu? I'm pretty sure you're the only thing keeping her safe," I call out, and Ryuu turns to me, giving me a sharp nod, the corners of her lips ever-so-slightly turned upwards.
"Welp," I turn down to Lili, "You want to be walked home?"
"I do not want you to kn-" Lili cuts herself off, "Lili isn't comfortable with people knowing where she lives."
I pause and consider that for a moment, rolling it around in my head.
Even if Lili is an asshole that fucks over adventurers, or should I say, because of that, knowing where she lives is a fast track to a whole host of problems for her. I've mentioned OPSEC with my family, but Lili needs to live that to a degree with the shitshow that is her life.
"Hm, understandable," I nod, giving her a firm nod. "Well then, stay safe. Tomorrow at the Dungeon, early morning?"
"That sounds fine to Lili," she agrees, turning to leave.
"Well, I'm glad Lili concurs," I tease, and while she doesn't verbally respond, I'm pleased to see one of her currently-doggish ears flap in annoyance atop her head.
"Welp," I repeat, patting my gut slightly. "Good food, good entertainment, good trip into the Dungeon. Anyone else got something we need to be doing before we get home?"
"No, we covered anything we needed to do before we came to the Hostess," Gil quietly answers me, and Al nods in agreement.
Relicadia, watching Lili to make sure she's a good distance away, turns to look up at me.
"I don't like that girl," she mutters, "She's rotten."
"Good instincts, kiddo," I nod, "But she's useful to me, and I'm useful to her. I guess you could say that I'm rotten for her too."
Reli snorts at that, "You aren't rotten at all, except that you put a baby in a younger woman before miss Peach."
I roll my eyes at that, almost refusing to dignify it with a response.
"I happen to prefer my pelvis unshattered, thank you," I sigh in annoyance, running my hand through my hair. "Well, if nothing else needs doing, time to get home, yeah?"
"Aye-aye, captain!" Relicadia gives me a flawless salute while making an intentionally goofy face, Bell and Al chuckling at her.
I roll my eyes at her again, and turn to go home, my Familia stepping behind me in a line, matching their steps in time with mine as we go.
Heh, good kids.