Chapter 267: Gawain, As Expected of You!
Johnny Kitagawa could only stare in stunned silence at the three men in suits standing before him—flawless looks, dead-serious expressions, and downright bizarre behavior.
Once again, he found himself sighing over how old he truly felt.
Not because the trio made him feel aged in the literal sense, but because their actions were so baffling it was like standing on Mount Everest while these three were off doing a deep-sea dance in the Mariana Trench.
As director Ang Lee once put it:
"I don't understand it… but I'm deeply moved."
"..."
"..."
"..." ×3
A strange, heavy silence fell over the office.
Shinji was waiting patiently for the old man's verdict on the idol qualifications of these so-called Knights of the Round.
But Johnny Kitagawa had no idea where to even begin. He couldn't exactly suggest Shinji take these three to the nearest mental health clinic, now could he?
As for the trio—aka the "Three Dumb Knights of the Round Table"—they remained frozen in their intense, over-the-top, ultra-cool pose, awaiting further orders from their Master.
After all, their respected King—Her Majesty Arturia Pendragon—had told them: "When outside, obey the Master."
"Ahem."
Finally, Johnny Kitagawa managed to recover and clear his throat.
"…Aren't these three a bit old?" he asked cautiously.
From his vast experience, true idol rookies were best scouted in their early teens—still in the formative years, highly moldable, and more importantly, with a longer career ahead of them.
Sure, there were idols who lasted into their forties, but anyone who made it to 35 was already considered a miracle in the industry.
If you wanted to milk profits for the long haul, young blood was the way to go.
Shinji smiled. "They just look mature, Kitagawa-san. They're actually all fresh-faced 18-year-olds."
Eighteen?!
If Johnny weren't aware of the vast difference in physical strength between them, he would've decked Shinji on the spot for lying to his face.
Shinji simply shrugged.
These three were summoned Heroic Spirits—once their spiritual forms were set, their age wouldn't change. Right now, they just looked like men in their mid-20s.
But give it ten or twenty years, and when their "theoretical age" caught up to their looks, people would still be calling them baby-faced wonders.
Of course, Johnny Kitagawa wasn't a magus—he had no way of knowing these guys didn't age. Still, aside from looking slightly too mature and having a few screws loose, there really wasn't much to nitpick.
First off, their looks were top-tier—handsome and masculine, with just the right amount of muscle. That kind of presence gave them an excellent foundation as male idols.
Secondly, they were true rookies, with zero past baggage in the entertainment industry.
Well, except for that guy Lancelot—he'd appeared in the film Fate/Zero, but his character (which shared his name) wasn't exactly a showstopper.
After all, in the entire movie, Lancelot had been wrapped in armor from start to finish. Apart from a few seconds at the very end where he showed his face, the audience's impression was basically just, "Oh hey, he's kinda hot."
But that wasn't a bad thing. Having some exposure—especially from something as big as Fate/Zero—meant instant discussion potential. Once they debuted, the trio could ride the Fate wave instead of starting from zero.
"However…"
Johnny Kitagawa glanced at the trio still standing bolt upright in their bizarre JoJo-esque formation.
"…Aren't you guys tired standing like that?"
"Not tired!" ×3
"Master didn't tell us to sit, so we won't sit!" ×3
Johnny Kitagawa rubbed his temples. "Discipline is a good thing… but Matou-san, what you're doing here is borderline illegal."
"Ahem, their guardians aren't exactly at ease, so they asked them to follow my instructions strictly," Shinji replied, shooting a mildly annoyed glance at the trio. "Sit down already. Stop standing like that."
Swish!
All three immediately sat down on the couch in perfect unison.
Johnny Kitagawa's mouth twitched. "Were they in the military or something?"
"They've had some relevant training."
Well, that wasn't a lie—after all, the Knights of the Round Table were basically Britannia's top military commanders. Calling them "military men" wasn't too far off.
"That's actually quite good."
Johnny Kitagawa chuckled.
Military training meant strong discipline and obedience—ideal traits for idols, especially once fame hit. It kept them from becoming unmanageable divas.
No scandals. No tabloid disasters. For any talent agency, that was the dream.
Sure, Johnny & Associates was notorious for being controlling, but if possible, who the hell wanted to clean up PR messes every week?
"Strong morals are the foundation of being an entertainer," Johnny Kitagawa said with a pleasant smile. "That's what I always tell the kids. Only those with good character can become true idols."
Shinji let out a dry chuckle but didn't respond.
Sure, Johnny & Associates idols were top-tier in Japan… but when it came to their morals? "Mixed bag" was putting it very mildly.
Guys like Hiroshi Nagano, the well-behaved model idol, were rare unicorns. Kimura Takuya was already considered a saint compared to the chaos the rest brought.
Most of them had personal lives messier than a daytime soap—and the bigger the star, the wilder the scandal.
If Shinji remembered correctly, Johnny Kitagawa's latest project, the idol group KAT-TUN, had a member named Koki Tanaka who was once caught in an explosive tabloid scandal. Rumor had it, the guy literally implanted pearls in a certain… private area of his anatomy.
Before the media storm fully hit, Johnny & Associates swiftly fired him, citing "serious misconduct," and worked overtime to spin the narrative: that Tanaka only spiraled after leaving the agency.
But seriously—only an idiot would buy that excuse.
Still, right now KAT-TUN was riding high. They had just debuted in March, and their single "Real Face" had broken the 1 million sales mark—making them red-hot rookie idols.
'This old man must be feeling mighty proud of KAT-TUN right now, huh? Wonder if Tanaka's had his "operation" reversed yet…'
As Shinji sipped his tea, he shot a quick glance at the Dumb Trio™ on the couch.
'At least these three are dumb in a harmless way… Not the kind to get led astray.'
As knights, the Round Table Three had rock-solid moral integrity.
Sure, Lancelot had a history of being… romantically reckless. But these days? If that damn camel even thought of hitting on anyone again, Arturia would hang him up on Excalibur like a Christmas decoration.
And not just the offending body part either—the whole man. Arturia refused to desecrate her sword by making it touch anything that foul.
Johnny Kitagawa, of course, had no idea that these three were literal legendary knights. He simply assumed names like "Lancelot" were stage names chosen for flair.
After chatting a bit longer with Shinji, Johnny Kitagawa began to feel his age catching up to him and prepared to return to Tokyo.
Before he left, he turned at the door and said, "Matou-san, in a little while we're planning a celebration for KAT-TUN's single hitting one million sales. Would you be interested in attending?"
Shinji recognized this for what it was—a move to deepen their working relationship.
Even though he didn't think much of the KAT-TUN members as people, he still smiled politely and said, "In that case, I'd be honored to attend. When is it?"
"It won't be too far off," the old man replied before shutting the office door behind him.
The moment the door clicked shut, Shinji's polite smile vanished. His face darkened instantly.
"What the hell are you three idiots doing?!"
Shinji leaned against the coffee table, looking annoyed as he questioned them.
"You three actually managed to screw up your first meeting with the old man—what were you even thinking?"
"Huh? We screwed it up?"
Gawain didn't quite understand. A huge question mark practically popped up above his head.
"Master, I thought we did great! That old man didn't criticize us even once," Gawain said confidently.
"That's because he was so dumbfounded he couldn't even find the words!"
Shinji slammed the table, roaring, "You damn blonde gorilla—what's in your skull, huh? Muscles, right?! Definitely just muscles!!"
Lancelot nudged Gawain with his elbow.
"The nickname Gorilla actually feels fitting for you, isn't it?"
"No whispering!" Shinji cut him off, fuming. "What the hell were you thinking with that dramatic entrance? Some kind of cult ritual?!"
"The King asked us to,"
Seeing that Shinji was genuinely furious, Lancelot instantly sold out Arturia.
"The King told us to choose a memorable entrance—something with formation and presence—so we could leave a strong impression," Gawain explained calmly.
"She gave us her favorite manga to choose from. I thought this pose was the most elegant."
Tristan exposed himself without hesitation.
"We're not the soft, delicate idol type anyway. This gives us more of an artistic flair."
"You guys…"
Shinji didn't even know where to begin. Should he roast Arturia's bizarre tastes or try to fix the Three Idiots' broken aesthetic?
Sure, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure was a great manga. But busting out JoJo poses in real life during a formal introduction?
It was like hijacking a plane, then threatening passengers with a phone instead of a bomb.
"Obey me or I'll turn off airplane mode and make a call!!"
'What the hell kind of cracked-out logic is that…?'
Shinji shook his head, trying to get that cursed image out of his mind.
"Whatever, we'll leave it at that."
He waved dismissively, motioning them out.
"You're coming to my place for dinner tonight. 'Super 8' and 'Spy Among Spies' were big hits, so EMIYA's throwing a little family celebration."
"Nice! Free food!"
"A banquet… Will the food be distributed before the feast starts? If not, then aren't we just watching the King eat everything again?"
Lancelot, who had spent enough time in the real world to know exactly how terrifying the King's appetite was, looked visibly concerned.
"Don't worry," Gawain said. "I'll stuff a spoonful of mashed potatoes into the King's mouth when she's about three-quarters full. That way, the rest of us will get something too."
"Gawain… Truly, you never fail to impress," Lancelot said solemnly.
"Even your method of suicide is shockingly innovative."
"Huh? I'm not ready to return to the Throne of Heroes yet!"
Gawain finally caught on to what the dead-eyed camel was implying.
Tristan gave Gawain a pitying pat on the shoulder and said in a kind, almost counseling tone:
"I think I understand now why Master called you a gorilla… That brain's not firing on all cylinders, huh?"
"What did you say?!"
An enraged Gawain lunged forward, and the three immediately devolved into a chaotic scuffle.
As he watched them make a bigger and bigger mess of the office, Shinji's eyebrow twitched violently.
"You three—get the hell out of my office!!"
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