Hey, hey!
How goes it, Folks?
I hope -as always- that this finds you well, and that all of your dreams have come true, and that you all are rich, and wealthy, and healthy, and happy.
Or at least... One or two of those things!
Me?
I am...
Healthy and happy?
Lol.
Not a bad combination, if you ask me!
Want to hear something interesting?
I started to clean and reorganize my place this past weekend, and I came across a custom-made book that my most recent ex had gotten made for me a month after we broke up, lbvs...
It was full of cute little quotes and cartoon renderings of the two of us doing all manner of cute little things that we had never done.
It was one of many gestures that she had made just a little too late, you know?
More accurately, it was one of the many last-ditch traps that I had dodged on my way out.
But I digress!
I found that book this weekend, and I thought about burning it, as I did with many of my old journals.
I decided that it didn't deserve that honor.
It didn't deserve the ashes.
So I went to one of my windows, set my red sage ablaze, and played a good song while I slowly tore out the pages one by one.
I ripped them from the seams and tore them into pieces as the music played and the sage burned.
Want to know something amazing?
As it burned, the smoke went directly out the window.
All of it.
It carried with it the pain that was tied to the memories that she left me with.
The ones that I used to regret.
I felt and now feel much lighter.
Cleaner.
Like some weighty darkness we lifted, you know?
I needed that.
One step closer to being 100% me again.
I feel the happiness returning, and I give myself permission to enjoy it and let it in.
I deserve to be loved and happy, and I am getting closer and closer to letting that be a part of my daily life.
Let go, Folks.
It's hard.
It hurts.
But it is sooooooooooooo very important.
I will see you all back here soon enough, yeah?
Enjoy.
-----
August 21st, 2013.
Journal #76.
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Yeah, so today was my closing point with the Boys & Girls Club.
Tomorrow is my last day.
It's very liberating, but also pretty sad.
I won't get to see any of my kids anymore for a while...
Yeah, such a dick boss.
So mature.
But God is good.
On to brighter stars, I say...
-----
Hmph.
This was quite the chapter in my life.
I had been with the first Boys & Girls Club for just over three years before the opportunity to transfer to a new location was brought to my attention.
I had been standing at a bus stop when I was suddenly approached and petitioned by a random man to come work for him.
He was the Site Manager whom I would later interview.
He was so kind and caring at first, and he had carried that false persona for quite some time after I began to work for him.
His mask would come off within a matter of months.
It was he who refused to help me or give me an assistant when my class hit an illegal number of children...
It was he who didn't care or warn me about the obvious language barrier that I would come to face within a school that played host to at least 85% children of a Hispanic ethic group.
It was he who fired me for trying to confirm the safety of one of my students.
He was just an ass all around, lbvs.
I don't wish that kind of management on anyone.
I ended up working for Speedway for quite some time after that job.
It was a job, and stepping stone at that.
I met one of my best friends while working there, and several other people who all made quite the impact on my life in their own way.
Finny how life works in these weird ways, you know?
We are typically only and always where we are meant to be, yeah?
I will leave you all at that, and I hope to see you all back here for the next in a handful of days.
I love you all, and I wish you the best healthy possible, and all of the wealth in the world.
Just do me a favor, yeah?
Toss a few pennies in my cap!
Lol.
See you all soon, and safe travels, Folks.
Stay safe.
Stay healthy.
Stay vigilant.
Redd.