Starry Quartz blew their way through wall after wall. Sure, they knew they were a little unstable at the moment, but it was completely justifiable. They just questioned their own existence and the reality around them constantly while only being held together by desperate reassurances of each other.
Bastard bastard bastard bastard bastard bastard. No argument here. Focus all that rage on ripping Strike away from that pen, then reorganize his organs into animal balloons. Wait, just to clarify, are we torturing Strike or Bill more? YES!
Well, you heard the two. They broke through the last wall, coming face to face with the bastard. "Hyper sparkle nuclear warhead!" They fired off a massive laser that melted the ground with as much intention to murder as that time with Toffee.
"Oooh, I just love it when the final straw breaks the hero's back." Strike laughed as he used the pen to shield himself with some starry looking diamonds. "When there's no morality holding you back, when there's no concern for the area around them, and they're free to go all out as much as possible."
"Oh we've been hitting that wall the past four to five years of our life you son of a bitch." They charged up energy. "All you did was get us fused while doing it! Rainbow raining vengeance strike!" They shot out a rainbow, which split up its colors into multiple beams of light, raining down from all directions.
"Oh, I almost forgot about the magic boosting." Bill, who was hiding in what looked like a giant wind up toy, snickered. "Don't worry, Rose Corn, I'll be sure to put that diamond to good use once you're dead."
"You know the moment I die you have to compete with Steven's three very homicidal aunts, right?" They asked as they fired off some chainsaw swordfish.
"Oh please, those old fossils might put a dent in magic, but once I take everyone's powers, I'll be far above your simple sorcerer." The little maniac laughed. "Magic, tech, cosmic, ancient, biological, spiritual, biblical, celestial, I'll have it all!"
"And you're willing to give this guy omniscient powers just because he's paying you?" They glared at Strike.
"With enough money to buy the earth ten times over, yes." They rolled their eyes. "But I repeat, fighting with you guys is super fun." Their pen produced multiple rockets with piranhas. "Brings out my creative side!"
Great, another villain that's in touch with their inner child. I had my fill with Spinel. Hey, we're creative too! This guy has nothing on us. " Shiny Spiky Songbird sour note storm cloud!" The dragonfly fusion summoned a dark cloud that made it rain sharp looking music notes down on them. "You two can't possibly think you can get away with this! We've faced far more powerful enemies than either of you!"
"And you're not the first person to tell me that." Strike rolled his eyes as he made a portal based shield, blasting their attack bat at them. "Like, a lot of them say that. The solution to being more powerful than previous enemies is just perseverance, skill, and a plot device." They twirled their pen, creating a pegasus. "Now, charge!"
"Hah, half my life on both sides was spent riding wild unicorns, a horse with wings ain't nothing new!" Starry yelled as they sent a fiery three armed punch into the equine's face. "Here's one better! A warnicorn with a gatling gun horn and hooves with rockets!" They created the creature, charging forth with a war cry. "Go forth, Sprinkle light! Light the ground ablaze and dominate thy enemies!"
"Nieeeeeeergggh!" Their creation charged forwards and fired endlessly everywhere, causing Bill to duck under the bullets.
"Hey Strikey, I didn't hire you for an art contest, I hired you to cream a couple of overgrown brats!"
"You know, I can always just leave you alone to deal with these children alone if you find my work that unsatisfactory." Strike rolled the single eye he had exposed. "Or you know, let me do my original job and just stone them instead of stealing their powers when weak."
"Fine." The immortal being in a child's body pouted. "So wish I had the henchmaniac's back."
"How about us, assholes!" A spear was thrown next to Bill, the origin being Kelly. "Did you forget a sword wasn't my original weapon? It's just my best!"
"You mean aside from being the biggest social parasite in the multiverse?" The child laughed even when he was close to being beheaded.
Alright, that tears it. They created multiple spiky shields with rainbow light. "WE WILL EVISCERATE YOU!" Said shields were blasted with a red light.
"Thanks for the increased arsenal." The x clad villain snickered as he blasted the ground, forming an image of what looked like a knight colored in a rainbow filled with nothing but shades of tree, one that got bigger, and bigger, and bigger until it matched the size of a Solaraian warrior. "I think you two, or is it three, should take the time to get to know each other while I focus on your friends."
"Of course." Starry rolled their eyes with pink crystal fists ready. They never make it easy.
========================================================================
Marco panted as he took the latest red clone out. "It was a girl with a pinkish dress and blond hair… How was she so terrifying?" He asked aloud. "I mean, not even trying to kill us just … Lila Hawkmoth us …" Manipulating while backing you in a corner, making you feel like you have no other choice.
"Hey, I almost got stomped on by a giant robot made from three other robots, so don't start complaining now." Number One rolled his eyes.
"Do we have a headcount of who we've taken out?" Anne asked, shaking off the red pixels on her blade.
"Krkrkrkrkr." They turned to the Platypus, who dragged a red copy of the 'teen titans' with a rope.
"Okay, I will never underestimate a platypus ever again." Louie crawled out from behind a rock while eating a calzone. "I was being mauled by a panda that had my voice. Surprisingly a good cook though."
"I took out Kim Possible with my grappling hook!" Mabel cheered as she pointed to said copy of the international super spy. "Oooh, maybe that means I can make a living doing the same kind of stuff!"
"Alright, we're gaining traction." Marco nodded, glaring at a path. "Now we just need to find our way out of the maze, grab Strike by the throat, and take him down with extreme prejudice."
"Does it have to be prejudice, or can it just be revenge?" … They all turned to the hunter in question. "I like to be politically correct." Strike explained, before kicking Marco into a wall, hard.
"Dude, you're a bounty hunter with a high body count, anything pc you try to pull is bullshit." Anne grumbled as she attempted to strike him right in the back, only for him to counter with his own sword. "Not that it actually matters."
"Eh, call me a perfectionist. I like to be specific and detailed." He laughed as he punched Anne right in the face.
"Said every villain ever." Louie rolled his eyes.
"I am NOT like every villain ever!" They pulled out a hand blaster, firing off multiple shots at the now scrambling duck.
Marco thought over the comments … well, wouldn't be the first time they played mind games. "You're right, you're nothing like other villains." He agreed. "They at least had style."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" He threw his blade right at Marco's head, only for Perry to grapple him out of the way at the last second.
"Oh no, nothing wrong with being an unoriginal lug head. It's just so tiring out by this point." Mabel snorted as she threw a brick at his head.
"Yeah, not everyone can be creative inside of an economy like this I mean. I heard there's a guy who had to resort to polka dots as a theme." Louie smirked at the situation. "Sure, he's completely demented, but he's efficient and quick."
"So what if I'm not original!? I'm still the best bounty hunter in the multiverse!" Strike yelled as he fired off a large barrage of attacks.
"Sure sure, whatever you tell yourself at night bud." Anne rolled her eyes as she avoided the long range blasts.
"Honestly, we saw more complex things with the toiletnator." Number One deadpanned. "You're just kinda … basic and forgettable."
"I trapped you with the double eclipse! I trapped you in your worst nightmares!"
"No, BILL trapped us in the nightmares. You just went along while you tried to steal our powers." Marco said, remembering how he turned to dust inside of his own skin, but shrugging it off. "You know, cause you can't make your own."
"GAAAAHHHH!!" Well they broke the rage button … lets see if they could push it even deeper.
"I've seen better plans out of Glomgold and Mark Beaks, at least when they fail, they have money to fall back on. You can't do anything if you don't have your favorite pencil." Louie mocked as he took a bite out of his calzone.
"IT'S A PEN!" Said pen began beeping loudly, as if annoyed.
"Look dude. We've seen the best of the best." Marco causally dodged a rainbow fist going above him. "Toffee was a cunning long term planner that nearly succeeded in destroying all magic. Mina and Jasper were invincible maniacs that persisted constantly.."
"Andrias was a psycho manipulated by a hive mind of genius, said hive mind was also scary as hell." Anne continued. "You can't even be an impressive enough puppet like Andrias was."
"And that's only getting into the small people." Marco listed. "The Collector, the Litch, your less than a speck on our radar, your barely qualify as a germ.
"You have no overarching theme to personally invest in us either." Mabel said as she ducked under some fire. "We never even had foreshadowing, nobody talked about you …"
"Krrkrkrkrkr." Perry nodded.
"The Platypus is right, Strike. You're not the big bad, you're just a thug." Marco laughed as the man was fuming. "You're a complete nobody we'll all forget about once we kick your butt."
"A nobody huh!?" He shouted, messing with the Omnitrix on his wrist. "Then let's see how you like it when I become …" He slammed it down, changing into Brainstorm, except with a black shell and red X's all over his body. "An alien that can take you on, isn't that right, pen?"
HOST LOST. STANDING BY. Wait a minute..
"Strike's too different in this form for the Pen to follow him!" Marco realized. "Everybody, go and grab it !"
The villain in question looked at them with a growl. "Oh no you don't! I may not control the pen, but I still have powers!" They began shooting lightning at them.
"Lightning? Pfft, that's a first month adventuring threat at best." Anne laughed as she dodged it. "Heck, half of us here have survived multiple lightning strikes! Your first major change and you're still basic!"
"I AM NOT BASIC!" They shouted, trying to hit them all with blasts of electricity.
"Wow, you can't even deal with a new powerset just out of nowhere, can you?" Marco asked with a grin. "You're unoriginal, you have no intrigue, and you can't aim to save your life! I'm starting to believe you just hunted heroes while they were asleep because going face to face was too much of a challenge!"
They screamed, firing randomly as an electromagnetic field spread wildly, raw rage present within their range of vision. Marco was lucky he was battling a brain over brawn type alien and not something like Heatblast. "How's this for intrigue!? Four powerless idiots and their dumb pet fried from the inside out!"
"We may not have powers, but we still have grappling hooks!" Mabel shouted as she roped the device in and swung it over their heads. "Anne, heads up!"
"Nooooo!" Strike reached a claw out, only to reel back when Number one's weapon was fired on him. "Ahhh! Soda directly in the brain! That much exposed sugar can cause me brain damage! THE INFORMATION MAKES IT WORSE!"
"How's this for the powerless!" Anne aimed the pen right at Strike, zapping him as the man turned back to normal. "Oh yeah, Omnitrix captured!"
HOST FOUND. AWAITING ORDERS.
Strike immediately yelled and rushed in, grabbing the pen by the other side, trying to pry it form Anne's hands. "Give me back my power! Fire off the Omnitrix!"
"It's not your power, it's Ben's!" Anne shouted as the pen glowed red, before firing … at the wall, bouncing around the maze for a bit.
"Yes! Give it back to me-" Strike left himself wide open as it was about to land on him.
"Not in your life!" Number One tackled the villain, causing it to go past them….right into Perry. "Oh shit, look out!"
"Krkrkrkrkr!" Perry closed his eyes as it landed on him, the omnitrix appearing on his neck like it was some sort of collar. "Krrrkrkrk!" The monotreme struggled to pry it off of him.
"Be careful with that!" Mabel warned. "It's bound to you on a dna level, and we don't know what it can do to a non-human user that isn't an alien."
"Alright, lets just casually continue to beat up Strike, and then figure out the watch situation later." Marco tried to calm everyone down.
"No, no! I won't lose, I won't be forgotten! I won't be basic!" Strike flared up in a red aura and flew right into Louie.
"Aaaaaaaaahhhh!" The green duck boy held his arms up, the rest of them rushing to his side hoping to intercept them before it was too late…but only one of them was fast enough, and they had one of the universe's most powerful weapons on their neck.
"GRAAAHH!!" Shouted an eyeless dog-like creature with similar colored fur as Perry, ramming straight into Strike as they hit the wall hard enough to leave cracks, then started wildly scratching the pinned Strike.
"... I'd be mad he ended up one of the only aliens that can't talk, but I'm just glad his brain's not broken." Mabel smiled as the teal dog grabbed Strike with its teeth and began swinging him against the wall over and over. "... Hopefully."
"You know, out of all the things to come back to after spending years in space, Phineas's pet being a secret agent is somehow not the biggest surprise." Number One noted.
"I think what's the bigger surprise is that he's doing a better job than us." Anne noticed as they ran into Strike over and over and over again.
"Nah, anytime we meet a new fighter, they're instantly amazing at what they do." Marco added. "So … what should we do about that?" He pointed to the pen still aiming at them with an angry red glow. "Cause at this point I'm open to ideas."
"Don't worry. Huey told me how we're going to deal with it." Louie lifted his hand up. "We just have to keep both busy until whatever plan he has is ready."
"Then I guess I'm on the clock with your annihilation!" Strike pushed Perry off and he stood up. "Now I will destroy all of you after I finish my completely uninterruptible power up sequence." Strike flared red as he looked like he was in the middle of a dragon ball episode.
"Hah, like we're not going to take advantage of.." Mabel fired her grappling hook at strike…which burst into flames. "Huh?"
"Like I said, you can't interrupt me while I'm like this."
"And here I thought KO was exaggerating about that." Marco muttered. "Luckily, there is a small counter you failed to overlook Strike."
"And what would that be?"
He grabbed Anne's sword and Mabel's burning grappling hook, making a makeshift grapple he used to pull them all over the walls. "WE CAN RUN AWAY LIKE COWARDS!"
"Boo, weak." Mabel rolled her eyes.
"Well sorry for wanting to live!" Marco yelled as they started running atop the wall, the transformed Perry right behind him. "So, he'll be okay, right?"
"They're supposed to last for ten minutes, but the watch glitches from time to time." Mabel affirmed.
"Grraaaahhhh." Perry growled, shoving the group onto his back as they ran, as a powerful alien platypus dog steed trained in the art of secret agents … wow, today was weirder than normal.
========================================================================
Bill laughed as Rainbow Corn was blasted back by the giant construction. "I've gotta say, Strikey's a killjoy, but he does his job well!" And if it all went right, he'd have all the power in the multiverse at his beck and call.
"Must…be…soooo nice sitting on your ass while someone else does the…dirty work!" Rainbow Corn struggled to stay as they tried to push back against a giant fist.
"Actually yes. That's kinda been my game while I was trapped in my decaying dimension for the last trillion years." Bill admitted. "Manipulation is so fun when it's complex too … although Rose Bud made it boring." He rolled his eyes. "Seriously, just calling you your mom was enough to set you off? I thought you were made of tougher stuff."
"Oh I am so going to grind you into baby powder when I'm done with this guy!" The bug-looking fusion shouted as they were swatted away! "Which will any second nooooow!"
"Sure sure, of course it will, keep telling yourself that." He said sarcastically, letting out a yawn. Damn it, he hated mortal bodies! Why did they need useless things like sleep!
It was one thing to take Pine Tree's body, it was a procession and he could leave whenever he wanted, but here, he got to feel the exhaustion, the lethargy, the craving for greasy and sugary food that only made him fatter and slower if he gave into it! How did mortals live long, boring lives without going crazy and killing themselves over it!?
He had a lot of time in the past four years, about how the universe changed while he was gone. "Gotta admit though, you guys did the one thing no one before has ever been able to do! Piss off the Koala enough to say 'fuck it' and leave!"
"Yeah, and now we can live in a world without some asshole trying to seperate us!" They shouted.
"Yeah, without restriction." He laughed. "Where stable things like peace and time will soon decay because of the constant forces of forward and backwards change accelerate over and over, as big bads they've been swatting away are now free to party however they like." Oh the beautiful chaos waiting to unfold. "With that, and the central finite curve destroyed, my come back party will spread across the multiverse! Meaning will lose all meaning! Left will be down and right will be pie! And with only the likes of The Guardian or the Collector as my opposition, I will reign supreme-"
CLICK
… Bill slowly turned to the handgun held by Pine tree. "The Colt 2000, a handgun notorious for misfiring." The boy said slowly, malice lined his voice. "Do you feel lucky with how far you're pushing today?"
"I really do, Dip-dot. I really do." Bill smirked as he jumped over the ledge he was on and landed on a bunch of recalled plushies. "So long Pine Tree, it was never a pleasure!" Just had to run away until Strike did his thing.
"You're not getting away Bill!" The boy jumped down after him. "I'll chase you to the end of the cosmos and make you pay for everything you've done to us!"
"Then your life is really, really sad, pathetic, and meaningless!" Bill laughed.
"I find a lot of meaning in kicking your ass!" He was roughly tackled by Hourglass. "He's not the only one that wants a piece of you Bill!" They shouted, raising their fist up.
"Pfft, still trying to play the hero when you have nothing. I'd barf, but I generally try to avoid doing disgusting meatbag things." He dodged the fist and kicked the boy right in the baby makers. "I'm also very happy to play dirty!"
He was covered by a pink ball. "Then you don't mind if we play it too?" Magien asked as they began to slowly squeeze him. "And crush the life out of you?"
"Time Baby in Christ, you guys are relentless." He pulled out a small vial of acid, burning a small hole as he escaped the bubble. "What is this, everyone with a grudge against me day-" He was stopped by a hand on his shoulder, slowly turning up to see … "Chimera Kid?"
"Kevin!?" Hourglass shouted.
"Hey Ben, funny thing." The teen chuckled. "I came by because I got a call about DNAliens, nobody's around but panicking gems, we got some duck guy to track you down, and now I see someone I remember making a deal with." He looked down. "You know, when you promised me a cure when I was stuck in the null void and never delivered?"
"Hehehe, well you see, you were just so pathetic and dumb that I had to take advantage of it. You only have yourself to blame." Bill tried kicking him in the nads … only to yep in pain. "What are you, a cyborg now!?"
"Nope." They grabbed an old car, covering themselves in rusted metal. "Just an absorber." And punched Bill hard enough to send him flying.
"Pretty pretty stars." Bill felt dazed as he skidded across the floor. "Damn it, pain is only funny when it happens to other people!"
"Then I'll find this hilarious!" A curly head of red hair smacked him across the face.
"Great, getting attacked by Zero of all people." Bill rolled his eyes. "Like serious, I don't even have to joke here! Your parents literally wanted to be named Zero!"
"Because we fail Zero times when it matters." He said as he jumped back. "Besides, I'm not the one you should be worried about."
There was the sound of cracking knuckles, turning to see three dangerous rock ladies. "...Half Baked, Bird Brain, Fuse Box." He acknowledged.
"You know this isn't going to lessen the beating we'll give you, right?" The runt asked.
"Just calling it how I see it, half baked. In another universe I might've actually been more impressed." Bill was starting to sweat as he avoided the rocket gauntlets and spears being thrown at him.
"I get he's got a good mind, but how did he take a hit from me and still keep running?" Chimera Kid asked with confusion.
"Spite is an amazing motivator!" He yelled out as he began to run away, already feeling the five cracked ribs in his body. "Just gotta keep running, just gotta keep running.."
He felt himself trip over what looked like a long strand of blonde hair. "Okay, I'm not one hundred percent sure what's going on here, but this is the bad guy, right?" Sundrop asked curiously.
"Yep." Magien nodded. "I know the multiverse is infinite, but did we really just run into Rapunzel?"
"Wait, you know who I am?" She asked with confusion.
"Long story we can focus on later." Pine Tree said as he approached. "Now keep him still, we have some stuff to work through."
"Got it!" Sundrop wrapped her stupid extensions around him and had him all tangled up like a burrito, dangling him over the air.
"Nice, little tiny angry piñata!" Zero chucked. "Who wants to beat out his red filling first?"
"Give it to Dipper." Hourglass handed the boy a crowbar. "He's been wanting to do this for a loooong time."
"What're you going to do to me, noodle arms? Threaten to beat me up until I call off Strike? Hurt my feelings and make me feel scared until I let your friends go home?" Bill mocked.
"No, just beat you up until you shut up." They said, winding their arms back. "... After this, we really need therapy. Hitting a four year old, even if possessed by a demon, is a line I feel is really dangerous to cross."
"I don't feel guilty." Fuse box said stoically. "He's a chaos god that wants the annihilation of everything in existence, and he's not processing anything, this is his body. Don't think too deeply about it."
"Oh I still wanna stab him, just saying we definitely need to get ourselves checked out." And with that, Pine Tree swung at them like they really were as pinata. Bill hated when he was the one feeling pain.
========================================================================
Jake Long finally could breath as he got out of the maze … seeing Starry Quartz fighting a giant red warrior with the Crystal Gems, and Bill Cipher being absolutely demolished by others and what looked like Rapunzel. "Our lives just keep escalating in weirdness." He muttered. Protecting fantasy creatures living among them should've been the peak.
"You're not going to hear me complaining!" The dog Jake morphed to a muscular shape and pounded his chest. "Alright Strike, enough hiding! Show yourself!"
They heard the sound of screaming, watching as Marco and a couple of others were chased by a flaming Strike while riding on top of what looked like a green version of one of Ben's aliens. "He powered up hard! He's super strong!!"
"Then we're just going to have to fight back stronger!" The ninja, or Randy now, shouted, before looking confused. "Wait, if Ben's over there.." He gestured to said kid using a baseball bat on Bill. "Then who are you riding?"
"Phineas and Ferb's secret agent pet Platypus!" Mabel explained with a shout.
"... It says something about my life that I question Rapunzel more." Randy nodded. "Anyway, Ninja Tengu spinning twirl kick!" Randy met Strike head on and struck him across the chest. "Dude seriously, your whole gimmick is just so generically wonk it's almost funny."
"I am not basic!" Strike grabbed Randy by the leg and pounded him down on the ground like a hammer.
"At least … he didn't say … I talk funny." The ninja groaned out.
"Well you are vulnerable!" Jake Long flew in, hitting the dude with a whole lot of flames. "So why don't you stand there and let me deep fry you!?"
"Ugh, I really hate fire users! My suit's going to smell like a barbecue for a week!" The villain groaned as he deflected some of the blasts with his hands.
"At least it'll give you a better theme than just a standard guy clad in black!" Molly laughed as she passed through him.
"PEN! Obliterate that specter!" Said pen came flying out of the maze, before being rammed into by a familiar trio of lights.
"Come on girls, just keep it aimed at the ground!" Blossom called out as they began beating it into the ground. "Like any crappy artist, he's nothing if he doesn't have his pencil!"
"I just called it a PEN! Get it through your thick skulls!" Strike yelled as that white robbed samurai guy rushed out and struck him by the knees.
"In the right hands, the pen can be more powerful than the sword." Samurai guy spoke very sagely. "Your hands are tainted and grossly incompetent, any success you've had previously will come toppling down."
"I took you out before, didn't I?" Pulling out the ninja blade, Strike began duking it out with the Samurai guy, pushing him back just a tad. "I've hunted for years, I have more stamina than everyone here combined!"
"Yet here you are, outnumbered and still losing!" KO came in next and sent a power punch right into Strike's back. "You've just been getting setback after setback while we keep overcoming whatever you throw at us!"
"Yeah, you only stole like, two powers?" Anne smirked as she tagged teamed with Samurai guy, keeping him back as they advanced. "And you almost had unlimited power with the Omnitrix alone, yet you lost it because you can't handle the truth!"
"Will you all shut up!" He shouted, blasting them away. "Pen, Initiate Alpha Omega!"
The red constructs vanished, even the monster that Starry Quartz and the crystal gems were fighting. "Already feel like giving up already?" Rex smirked.
"No, it just takes all available power for this next little part." He floated to the pen as it spun around, lines glowing so bright they were almost overpowering to eyes. "Mixing all the powers stored up so it doesn't explode any vessel they're given to."
"Again, you only have two!"
"Two from this battle. I've saved up multiple ones from the past few years. If you recall from the tiny titans … how many statues did you see?" He asked Starry Quartz.
"Hundreds…maybe even more."
"Exactly, your little section of the multiverse is only one of many. There's an infinite amount of infinite multiverses, some where none you haven't met, somewhere you don't exist at all…"
"Kick him while he's monologuing!" Jake the dog tried to punch him, only to be deflected.
"Sorry, you let me power up. So that's just not gonna happen." Strike laughed. "No wonder Bill loved this. Anyways, I may not have gathered the omnipotent power I've been ordered to collect, but I still have more than enough stored away, enough power to shape this little void of a world to anyone's choosing…"
"Not if we have anything to say about it!" Phineas came out of a hidden pile of junk, pressing a button on the remote. The Pen was hit with a beam. "An EMP, now your ultimate power is useless-" It began spinning around. "Wait, what happened?"
"It's the void man." They all turned to a blue cat. "Any parts you use here were sent here for a reason." Again, Jake really needed to question his life at some point.
"You morons may have me cornered, you may have me outnumbered, but I'm still going to get the last laugh here…or second to last." The pen was pointed at the tide of Bill. "Brace yourselves, heroes.."
"CATACLYSM!" Chat Noir was thrown into the air as he activated his power, aiming his hand at the pen and turning it to dust….but not before it managed to fire a single shot.
"Noo …." Dipper quietly muttered, backing away with the Tennyson crew as they stared in horror as the ray hit the child.
"Anyone but him …" Mabel spoke with terror, shaking in place.
For a few tense moments, absolutely nothing happened. "... Was it a dud?" KO asked.
"I'm praying for it, I really, really hope so." Luz answered as they all collectively were wishing that the pen's fire was slowly killing Bill.
Out of nowhere, the sound of a piano began to playing a soft tune, the child slash horror opening their eyes, a strong yellow glow visible as they began to smile, a smile too large to fit on a face. He gave a soft laugh. "Hahaha …" He slowly began to spin, Rapunzel being spun around, until her hair became a piano set, softly matching the melody.
"Today's just so wonderful, I feel like chuckling.…Ha ha ha.."
"Is he … singing?" Dewey asked. He was cut off by the hand placed on his shoulder…the mangled decayed hand that Bill had suddenly grew on himself.
"I feel all fuzzy inside like a duckling." Bill sang, as Dewey began to cough violently. "Full of tarantulas." And began vomiting spiders, much to the horror of everyone around them.
"DEWEY!" Weby rushed in, trying to help the shivering boy.
"And now that I'm here, tonight …" Why was it night now? How was it night in a realm with no sun or moon? "It's gonna get weird!"
The world began to shake as the ground began to crumble. "This is a bad sign, right?" Anne asked.
"It sure is, Calamity Blue!" Bill answered as he lifted Anne up and blasted her into a wall. "Oh yeah baby! I'm back!"
"I'm getting Collector flashbacks!" Luz shouted loudly.
"Okay, do we have a plan for dealing with this!?" Slyvia yelled out. "Because it's starting to feel like we've already lost!"
"I've got one." Starry Quartz was covered in more energy than they saw them fighting Strike. "Hit them with absolutely no mercy. Ultra atomic god slaying kitten!"
"Ah-ha-ha-ha!" Bill laughed, as his body rotted and decayed, the sky splitting open into a rainbow like static as they cackled and crackled. They grabbed the kitten and choked the life out of it, dancing around as yellow began to shine through the flesh that fell from their body..
"... Well there went my try."
"Look at these creatures, not enough features." Bill was in multiple places at once, constantly moving around beyond their comprehension.
"Cats should breathe fire." Chat Noir began to breathe fire. "Bugs should sing choir!" He held up a conductor's stick, pointing it at the heroine.
"Ahhh!" She sang, feeling her throat as her eyes were filled with fear.
"Very nice." Bill commented with a laugh, before using his hands to lift one of the towers in the distance and planted it in the ground, covering it in gold and bloody spikes. "Look at this tower under my power!" He sent down a basketball sized hall as he sat on top of it.
"Look at these people, puny and feeble!" They began juggling the group of heroes as if it was nothing. "Ooo hoo!" They hummed as they tossed them around and launched them.
"In hindsight, Paradox should have definitely warned us about this!" Gwen shouted as they all landed on the ground.
"Or you know … the Guardian coming in to give us help." Anne rolled her eyes as she tried to stand.
"Look, I'm just a triangle trying to save you." Bill came down in front of them, sitting down in a chair as he looked forlorn. "From the delusions society gave you."
"Acting like he wasn't delusional himself." Molly mumbled as her form kept getting dispersed and separated.
"Gravity's a lie and so is the sky." They were spinning, except they weren't, because up had no meaning. Bill smiled as they grabbed their own rotten chest and ripped open, revealing … "Trust in the all-seeing, all-knowing eye!" An eye attached to a triangle body emerged from the corpse. "OH SWEET SEVEN DIMENSIONS! How I've missed you."
"Great, you're just as annoying looking as you were last time." Ben rolled his eyes as his hands began to fall apart. "Aaaahhhhh!" Ben shouted as they were turned floppy and noodly.
"Look at this money–who's that, honey?" Bill asked Ben, shoving him inside of a dollar bill, and placing him into a vending machine. "Look throughout history, how could you miss me?" He asked Gwen, the paintings of war shooting her body with bloody holes. "Seriously, I'm all over the place." They rolled their eye.
"Look mr illuminati, power or not, we're not scared of yo-"
"Look at this weather, I could do better." They grabbed Starry Quartz's magic, twisting it around into unholy formations. "Mandelbrot rainbows, screaming tornadoes!"
"Okay I'm a little scared…Ahhhhhhh!" Starry yelled as they were pulled into said screaming tornado, and flung far off.
"Look at this loser, drinking coffee." They handed Marco a cup of coffee. He eyed it suspiciously, before sipping it. "…Now it's decaf!" And instantly spat it out.
"You bastard! You'll pay!"
"Is that really something revenge worthy?" Kelly raised an eyebrow.
"If I didn't have caffeinated coffee, I wouldn't be able to function half as well as I already do!"
"Look at these people, calling me evil." He pointed to their new friends. "Right back at you, now you're all statues!" And instantly defeated all of them, frozen in stone without any effort whatsoever.
"Oh come on, we just started turning the tide!" Number One complained as he tried to avoid the flaming rainbows.
"Now everything you know has disappeared …" They leaned down, gazing at them. "It's gonna get weird…" Fear filled Jake's body, far stronger than anything the Dark Dragon or Him could ever do. "Well that was my musical number … now it's a question of if I wanna drag your your torture, or be pragmatic and kill you instantly. Strikey, thoughts?" They turned to the red villain.
"You still don't have full omnipotence, and I really can't move forward with today until I see these bastards suffer while trying to crawl away feebly." Great, this is what they get for pissing off a villain. Slow and unusual death … at least it gave them a chance to plan.
"Good point my friend." The mad triangle nodded. "Here, you can watch from this prison of unyielding agony as I get started."
"Watch from what now?" Strike was blasted with a blue light and ended up on top of the tower, where the sounds of ripping flesh and broken bones could be heard. "You wormy bastard!"
"He never made a deal that he'd stay living, just interesting." Bill chuckled. "Now who to torture first … ah right." They instantly went down on the group. "How about the kids that ruined my eye THREE TIMES in a single day!?" A spotlight shone down on Mabel and Dipper.
"Well, to be fair…it's like a giant target. You can't blame us for hitting an easy mark." Mabel laughed nervously.
"Well in the spirit of fairness … ten, nine, eight." They needed to get the fuck out of dodge yesterday.
========================================================================
Kelly ran for her fucking life. It was like the Diamonds all over again, only this time they were even more hopelessly outclassed. The moment he hit zero the universe began to tear from Bill's warpath to get to the Pines twins as fast as possible. She was ashamed to admit that in all the chaos, she wasn't sure if the pair of siblings were even still breathing by this point.
In fact, it was hard to tell what the hell was happening at the moment, with the skies turned red, mountains of blood and cupcakes flowing through the streets, and gravity turning off and at random moments made her lose track of everyone. She saw dog Jake getting thrown into a taffy machine, Dragon jake folded into a suitcase, and Number One became a literal egg head.
She had no idea where Starry landed after they were thrown out of that tornado, which means she had no idea where Steven was. Knowing his luck, he was either far enough away from the calamity to catch his breath for a minute, or closer than ever before and was seconds away from dying. Either way, she felt incredibly screwed by the whole situation.
It was apocalyptic. She never realized how outclassed she was before now. Kelly thought that with Steven, Star, Marco, and a sword, they could take on anyone no matter the odds. But apparently she's been overconfident, as now a literal god tormented and toyed with everyone.
She thought back to every single major event they had ever faced. The first being Toffee when he kidnapped Marco, the goons were nothing to worry about but the man was like a brick wall, breaking her arm too just for the heck of it. Lapis nearly drowned her, Jasper was an unstoppable wrecking ball, Mina doubly soo, Meteora was a literal soul sucker, the Diamond's were immovable, and Omni would've annihilated them if the ghost queens didn't fight him.
The only common thread that each one of them had was the fact they were too stubborn, or in Steven's case, too hopeful, to ever consider giving up, but with their fire power so low on the totem pole compared to Bill, she was drawing a blank. "Ugh, I wish they were here with me." She grumbled, having ducked behind a ledge.
"You're telling me." She turned her head to see the thankfully intact sight of a certain red hooded teen.
"Marco! You're alive!" Kelly hugged her friend. "Honestly, I was three fourths convinced everyone else died already."
"Honestly, I think I'm just a dead man walking, but I'm sure that's more me than the situation at hand." He said. "Hey, at least you're not a tree person."
"True." She nodded as a stray butterfly landed next to them, sending out spikes into a nearby monster that killed it in an instant. "… I think we finally found a place more dangerous than the Neverzone." Twice the danger, and there was no sexy warrior god with abs of steel to comfort her, so this was essentially hell. "Well, you're the brainiac. Anything in that old head of yours giving you any good ideas?"
"Nothing in particular. The pen's destroyed, so we can't just blast Bill's powers away. Phineas and Ferb don't have the equipment they need to rebuild it, Perry has the Omnitrix and is stuck as Wildmutt." They could hear the familiar cries of the dog alien as it was probably tortured. "We're down to dumb ideas now!" Marco shouted. "I will take anything from fryer pokers to ice cream if it means something other than running to our deaths!"
"I say we escape!" Louie came out of some fire, panting with wide and fearful eyes. "We need help on a cosmic scale, and we need it now!"
"Yeah, except there's nowhere to escape to!" Molly came out of the ground, her body cut in half but her bottom half following her top half. "This is a void between dimensions and Star's the only one with portal-making magic, and we don't know where the heck she is!"
"Our big powerhouses are gone or missing…damn it!" Kelly pulled on her hair. "What I wouldn't give for some divine intervention for once!"
"You know better by now to trust any gods." Marco groaned. "The only ones that are helpful are the Kwami in the….miraculous…" Marco snapped his fingers. "That's it! We need to find Ladybug and Chat Noir!"
Kelly looked around. "Random luck of ask and it appears, don't fail me now." A few seconds passed, before Chat Noir flew into the ground next to them.
Crack
With what sounded like enough force to break a few bones. "Did anyone … catch the number … of that fist?" Chat Noir raised a hand up…a hand that was not bending the right way.
"Oooof!" Louie winced looking at it. "Oh that's nasty. I thought you guys were indestructible in your suits."
"Not indestructible … just so durable that damage usually … doesn't matter." He coughed out. "At least it was me and not-" A second crash came next to them. "... My lady?"
"I tried the lucky charm … it gave me a white flag." She sat up, the red on her suit melting-no, that was just blood! Lots and lots of blood!
"Oh shit. Hold up, I think I got some medical supplies in here." Kelly ruffled around her hair and pulled out some gause and peroxide. "I can treat you guys, but…you'd have to take off your suits for me to keep treat it.
"No, no." Ladybug coughed some more, a hint of yellow inside of the red. "This is fine."
"Hey guys, we can't keep this up." They looked up at Blossom approaching. "We're hitting him with everything and-WOW!" The power puff stared in shock. "He did a number on you two."
"M'Lady…I don't think our identities matter when the universe is breaking and everyone's about to die."
"It's not just our identities Chaton." She said with a wince. "We're the most trained … to use the miraculous, we need to be … the one who takes Bill on."
"Hey, if it isn't Rainbow Corn!" They looked up to see the fusion being held by Bill, despite the constant lasers they tried to hit him with. "How about we play ring around the rosie!? At mach five hundred."
"DAAAAAAAMMMNNNNNN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Starry was twirled around at lightning fast speed before they were let go, a notable light splitting into two as they were thrown across the void.
"They're split, which means the longer we stay like this, the more likely everyone's going to die." Marco stated, looking at the two heroes. "You said you're the most experienced? What if, just hypothetically, someone who has almost sixty years of experience fighting in a dimension of pure savagery were to wear one?"
"Um Marco." Kelly looked at the boy. "Not that I'm not down for letting these two take a breather, but don't you remember the last time you had a Miraculous?" And the portal that almost killed them all.
"Point is, I have fighting experience and I've used one before." Marco retorted. "Even if I'm not the perfect fit for one, I know how to be resourceful."
She stared at him, then at the white flag, before sighing. "Alright, alright. I'll let you use the Ladybug Miraculous … Tikki, spots off." Multiple ladybugs of pure light crawled around the heroine, revealing a very injured girl underneath.
"Marinette, please be okay!" A little red creature began hugging the girl. "We need to treat you asap!"
"On it!" Kelly nodded as she began wrapping the gauze. "Wait, aren't you that baker girl with the really delicious Macarons?" She devoured a whole plate of them at the Double Wedding.
"Yeah, that's me.."
"Marinette?" Chat Noir's eyes looked completely shook. "You're…you're.."
"Yeah, I know Chat." The girl sighed. "This is my identity … sorry if-"
"You have got to be fucking kidding me." The hero spoke with a twitchy eyebrow. "Now I know the universe hates me after all the pain I went through."
"Dude, I know you're in a lot of pain and this is some shock, but that's just rude." Blossom said with a glare.
"No, I'm not mad at her, I'm mad at myself for being a dense idiot. You'll see in a second." Chat Noir sighed. "Plagg, claws out." In a second, a glow flashed over the hero, revealing a pretty faced blonde boy underneath.
"Let's go take that Bill bastard out." The tiny black cat growled, paws raised in rage.
"... Jackie is never going to let us live this down." Marinette began twitching as well. "I have got to be the densest idiot in the world!"
"Wait a minute …" Louie began to widely smile. "Have you two been caught up in a love square made of your own identities?"
"Unfortunately, that looks like the case." Marrinette groaned. "Every time I rejected Chat, I was turning down Adrian!"
"Full disclosure, I suspected one time you were Ladybug, but that thing with Kwami buster made me discard the idea even when it made too much sense." Adrien sighed. "Oh man, you really do think I'm unfunny."
"No, I'd just thought we needed to be serious! I held in so many laughs because I didn't want to stray my feelings for Ad-you…ahhhhhhhh!"
Kelly tried to hold back a snort at the new information. "Wow … I guess we're not the worst at romance." She joked as she worked on their injuries. "Talk about being your own worst enemy."
"Heh, this one gets it." Plagg snickered as he floated above her head. "I think she'd make a good kitten."
"Oh, are we playing switchabo?" … They all slowly turned to the triangle that looked almost amused. "Tikki, Plagg, my old pals, how's it hanging?"
"We're not your old pals, Chiper." Tiki grumbled.
"Of course you are, I'm letting you live after all … you know." The eye began flashing multiple images. "After I use your power to regain my own and bring about weird fun upon the multiverse."
"I can't believe I used to think you were cool." Plagg huffed
The triangle groaned. "Ahh, you're still too attached to mortals. It's annoying … here, how about we delete them now!" They began charging up a beam, only to be stopped by a stream of flames right in the face. "MY EYE! WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE FUCKING EYE!?"
"Stay away from our friends!" Ferb shouted, blasting Bill with a makeshift flamethrower.
"You'll pay for hurting Perry!" Phineas shouted before looking at them. "Whatever plan you have, do it! It was hard to find enough flammable material to ignite something around here!"
"You got it!" Adrien tossed his ring to her while Marinette tossed her earrings to Marco. "Put them on, and shout Plagg, Claws Out and Tiki, Spots On!"
"Got it!" She easily slipped the ring on. "Guess it's a good thing Marco has his ears pierced already, not every boy does, right Turdina?"
"Yeah yeah, laugh it up. I can still pull it off better than you can." The guy rolled his eyes as he put it on. "Tikki, Spots ON."
"Plagg, Claws OUT!" They shouted out, as the two tiny creatures entered their earring, and instantly she felt more energized and stronger….at least if the universe ended, she would look amazing as it blew up.