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3rd POV
{Hi, kids. I'm going to tell you a story.}
The voice of a familiar man echoed in a room dressed in vintage accents, its walls lined with framed memorabilia and shelves of books.
On the plush, slightly over-decorated sofa sat two teenagers, side by side, surrounded by the chaos of scattered novels and trinkets. Behind them, a 3D model of a skyscraper stood proudly, flanked by other achievements—proof of a lifetime's work.
"Are we in trouble or something?" the boy asked, shooting a confused glance at his sister, who wore the same baffled expression.
His sister shook her head, then groaned, "Come on, Dad! I've got places to be!" she protested at the mysterious voice that, of course, belonged to their father.
{Hey—no one's leaving this room until I've told you the whole story.}
Ted Evelyn Mosby.
Architect, Bestselling novelist, Loyal friend, Certified dad material.
Both teens sighed, realizing there was no way out of this.
{That's the spirit I like! You really want to hear it, don't you? I know you love me and your mom so much!}
"…More like I love my allowance," the girl muttered, rolling her eyes.
"…And my game money," the boy echoed, copying his sister's eye-roll.
{I can't hear you. All I hear is 'You're the greatest daddy!' or 'I love you, Daddy!'}
The teenage girl's face flushed red as she whipped her head away. "I have never called you that!!"
"Yeah, bro!" her younger brother chimed in, throwing a peace-bump toward the camera in front of them.
{I am not your bro! And Penny, come on, honey, you love me more than anything in this world. And I love you too! Don't be embarrassed to say it if it's true.}
Penny Mosby—a beautiful young girl (thanks to her father's genes, of course), with her mother's soft brown hair—glared at him, cheeks still burning. "Dad, stop!" she shouted, hurling a pillow his way.
Luke Mosby, her younger brother, stared at her like she was overreacting. Normally, he'd keep a safe distance whenever his sister went dramatic, but this time there was no escape. They were trapped, forced to sit and listen to their father.
"Dad!" both of them yelled in unison.
{Hahaha, right, right. Where were we?} Ted asked.
"You haven't even started yet!" Luke groaned, letting out a long sigh. "Ugh, this is gonna take forever…"
Penny slumped back against the sofa too, bracing herself.
{Alright, so kids, twenty-five years ago, before I became your dad, my life was one hundred percent different.} Ted smiled as he spoke.
{Back in 2005, I had just started working as an architect. I was living in New York City with my best friend from college—your Uncle Marshall.} Photos of Ted and Marshall flashed onto the screen. {My life was good.} His smile faded.
{And then… your Uncle Marshall ruined everything!} Ted exclaimed dramatically.
Penny and Luke exchanged confused looks. Why would their dad be mad at Uncle Marshall?
"Wait a second… an architect? Didn't you already start writing novels back then too?" Penny asked, frowning at him.
{Ohh, honey, you do listen to your old man's stories! Unlike that little rascal over there who only cares about video games!} Ted shot back, pointing at Luke. {Yeah, I'm talking to you, Luke! Don't play dumb, you rascal!}
Luke glanced over his shoulder as if looking for someone else behind him.
Penny giggled at her dad's words and smacked Luke's arm. "Ow!" he yelped.
"Mission accomplished, Captain!" Penny saluted toward Ted.
{Good job, little bunny! Speaking of Captain, that actually reminds me of someone who loved boats so much we literally called him 'The Captain.'} Ted said, but his kids only stared back at him with bored expressions.
{Alright, back to the point. And about your question, Penny—no, my friends didn't know about that back then.} Ted laughed loudly. {You should've seen their faces when they found out I was the author of the novels they were reading. Even your Uncle Barney read one of my books!}
Then a sudden thought struck him, {Wait… you guys didn't read the ones with an age restriction, right?}
Both kids immediately turned their faces away from him.
"Wha—what are you talking about, Dad?! Of course I've never read those!" Penny snapped, crossing her arms.
"...uhum…what?? You're a novelist, Dad?? This is literally the first time I've heard about it!" Luke blurted out, then whistled casually.
Ted just stared at them, deadpan. Their "innocent" act couldn't have been more obvious.
{We'll talk about that later when I get home. Anyway, you know how your Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily have been sweethearts since college, right? That's why Marshall completely ruined everything by dropping the big question to her.}
"Dad!" Penny groaned, glaring at him to keep going tell them the story before they go away from here, while Ted just chuckled not realizing what she meant.
{Relax, honey. I was there for all their big moments. The three of us were best friends since college. But it's not about Marshall asking Lily—it's about what that moment meant to me.} Ted sighed dramatically.
Then his eyes narrowed, {Who am I kidding? You two already know about human reproduction, right? And since you admitted to reading my books…}
Both Penny and Luke nodded absentmindedly but then froze as Ted grinned.
{Aha! You just admitted it! You've been reading my old novels!} He shook his head in mock disappointment.
"Dad!!" Penny and Luke shouted together.
{Okay, okay. So—like I said, the three of us were inseparable. And because of that, I ended up witnessing some… let's say… awkward situations.} Ted chuckled to himself. {Like, the time they were… you know… doing it. And I was there for the first time.}
"Ewwww, Dad!!" Penny shrieked, her face twisted with disgust.
Luke slapped both hands over his ears. "Disgusting, Dad!"
{Hey! Don't blame me, I was the victim! Marshall was my roommate, and back then we had bunk beds. I was on the top bunk while they were going at it underneath. Physics doesn't lie, kids—if the bottom shakes, the top shakes too!}
Ted threw his hands up, {...And every single time the story came up again, you know what they'd say? 'Sorry, bro, we thought you were asleep!'}
He shook his head, still playing the victim, though it was obviously a true story, one that got retold countless times at MacLaren's bar.
But when Ted looked back at Penny and Luke, they still had disgusted faces plastered on. Their groaning and complaints stretched on for several minutes, until finally… they just gave up trying to argue.
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3rd POV – College, 1996
Ted Evelyn Mosby.
A young man with messy hair and glasses he didn't actually need. His eyesight was fine; he only wore them as a style choice—which, honestly, wasn't very effective.
He stood in front of the dorm mirror, staring at himself for far too long, touching his face repeatedly like he couldn't quite believe what he saw.
As Ted was lost in his own reflection, the door burst open.
"Hey, bro! You coming to the party?" a tall guy grinned at him. "Hehe, and guess what—I scored some 'sandwiches' for tonight!" He proudly pulled a small baggie from his pocket.
"What?" Ted blinked, staring first at the bag, then at the stranger's goofy smile.
"Party! Women! Beer!" the guy announced, then frowned at Ted. "What's wrong with you?"
"Yeah… sorry, uh—what's your name again? Marshall, right? Eriksen?" Ted asked cautiously.
"Yeah, dude. What's going on with you?" Marshall said, baffled. Then he squinted, "You've been staring at that mirror forever like some girl… Are you, uh… that 'kind of guy'?" He raised his hands defensively, "No judgment, bro. I'm straight… but, you know, if you ever…" He trailed off awkwardly, not knowing what he was even saying.
"What? No! No—I like women too!" Ted snapped.
"Oh thank God. I've never done that before…" Marshall muttered in relief. Then, shaking it off, "Anyway, party? Yes or no?"
"Yeah, yeah, but—quick question. Do you know a good barber around here?" Ted asked, taking off his glasses. He didn't need them—unless, of course, he actually had vision problems which is not.
Marshall blinked, "What? Why? Your hair's fine, bro!" He reached out awkwardly, touching Ted's hair, "…Maybe just a little trim and you'd look cooler."
Ted slapped his hand away, "Shut up, man! You didn't answer my question!"
Marshall raised his hands with a sheepish smile, "Dude, we're roommates now! Forget about your… long hair for one night and come to the party with me!"
Ted sighed, helpless, as if resigning himself to Marshall's antics. "Alright," he said, pointing a finger at him. "But if I don't get any chicks because of this hair, I'm blaming you."
They had only just met, and Marshall's first impression of Ted was… less than ideal. For a second, Marshall had actually thought Ted was some kind of dean stuck as his roommate.
Of course, Marshall was already high on 'sandwiches' and not exactly grasping the situation.
"Dude!" Marshall frowned. "Don't blame other people if you don't have the skills to land chicks on your own!"
He threw his arms up, way too dramatic for someone holding a bag of 'Sandwiches'.
Ted smiled with confidence, "Oh, I've got some skills for that…" But a second later, his smile faded as reality hit him, "…Right. I have a girlfriend right now…" he muttered, though Marshall clearly heard it.
"What?! Dude! We're in college! How can you just stick to one woman here? Besides—is she even here? No? Then who cares!" Marshall clapped him on the shoulder. "Listen to me."
Ted looked at him with downcast eyes.
"Forget your girlfriend and just let loose for once!" Marshall said, though his voice lacked conviction.
"...I should break up with her first," Ted admitted.
"Yes! Exactly! You should've done that first," Marshall nodded quickly, agreeing a little too fast and not mirroring what he said before.
"But hey—there's free beer!" Marshall added, bouncing back with enthusiasm.
Ted sighed. He knew he couldn't resist Marshall's energy. And hey—it was free beer, he said.
"Alright then!" Ted said, letting out another sigh but with a smile tugging at his lips.
"That's the spirit! Let's go!" Marshall grinned, throwing an arm around Ted's shoulders.
Ted smiled back, realizing this goofy stranger might just turn out to be his best friend.
This was 1996—the first time Ted and Marshall did anything together. Roommates by chance, destined to be brothers.
Marshall, meanwhile, secretly thought Ted was kind of a hypocrite—a wuss who couldn't stop whining about The Girlfriend.
"Hey, you know what I'm gonna do with this 'new life'? I'm never gonna settle for just one woman!" Marshall declared, smirking.
Ted raised an eyebrow. "You say that like you're an expert. How many women have you actually slept with?"
Marshall looked away. "…Plenty. I have… experience."
"Why are you whispering?" Ted's smirk widened.
Marshall grumbled, glaring at him. "Why are we even talking about this? The important thing is the freshman party, dude!"
Ted laughed. "Alright, alright! Do you want a wingman, or do you just want to enjoy the party?"
Marshall froze, suddenly unsure. "Wait—you can do that?" He cleared his throat, quickly trying to cover. "I mean—I don't need a wingman. I get chicks easily. I mean… look at me." He smirked, lips tugging upward in an awkward brag.
Ted wasn't impressed. "Alright then, enjoy the party." He shrugged.
Marshall instantly regretted brushing him off, but since they'd just met, he didn't want Ted to think he was a pushover.
"Don't worry, buddy—I gotchu!" Ted said over his shoulder with a reassuring smile.
"…Gotchu?" Marshall repeated, frowning in confusion. "What the hell does that even mean?"