Summary:
The Pines and the Gems band together to defeat an undead threat... with the power of music!
Under the cover of night, Gravity Falls slept silently, peacefully. Or at least, most of the town did.
Tonight, Steven and Greg had stayed up for a movie marathon. Nestled into a cozy pile of blankets in the back of his father's van, Steven kept his eyes trained on the monster flick playing on the tiny TV. Despite the film's cheap effects, he still gasped when the hero landed the finishing blow on the last of the zombies pursuing his group.
"Oh man, that was the scariest movie we've watched tonight yet! I wonder if real-life zombies would be as terrifying as that one."
"Eh, probably not, Schtu-ball," Greg shrugged, smirking. "I mean, that zombie was pretty slow. The guys in the movie could've outran him if they'd gone at more than just a light jog."
"Oh yeah? And how would you know?" Steven flashed his father a challenging grin. "Have you ever outran a zombie, Dad?"
"Can't say I have," Greg chuckled. "And I wouldn't really want to either."
"Well, what about any of the other monsters here in Gravity Falls? You've lived here for a super long time-"
"I've only been here for 26 years, Steven. Then again, I guess that is a pretty long time…" Greg frowned. "Yikes. I'm getting old."
"Exactly!" Steven agreed. "You've been around long enough to see all the cool stuff here. Have you ever been chased by gnomes? Or high-fived a manotaur? Or hugged a werewolf?!"
"O-oh well, uh, I don't know about all that…" Greg rubbed the back of his neck. "Your mom and the Gems usually would handle all that supernatural stuff. I've always figured it's best not to get involved with it."
"Aw, but you could have totally helped them, Dad! It would be so cool to see you fighting alongside me and the Gems using—wait for it…" Steven tapped the side of the van, creating a suspenseful drumroll before finishing with, "The power of music!"
"Heh, well, I'm not really sure what good the 'power of music' would do against a werewolf or a zombie," Greg grinned. "Still, it's good to know you still think your old man is cool enough to keep up with the best of them."
Steven laughed as his father pulled him into a playful noogie. As sweet of a moment as it was, it was soon interrupted by a stark, bright flash of light flooding in through the van's back windows. "Whoa!" Steven broke free from his father's arms, crawling over to get a better look. Only to find nothing but darkness surrounding the temple outside. "What was that?"
"Eh, must have been a flash of heat lightning," Greg said. But when he stole a glance out the front window, the sight of the Mystery Shack at the base of the hill quickly proved him wrong. Another, duller pulse of blue light flickered from the ramshackle old building. Greg's heart practically sunk to his stomach when he saw it; he knew all too well what it meant.
He knew all too well what his former boss had been trying–and was still trying–to do.
"Uh, h-hey, Steven!" He drew his son's attention away before he could notice. "How's about we pop another one of these movies in, huh? This next one has a mummified cow on the cover."
"Oh! You mean The Cowwy !?" Steven happily plopped back down into the blankets. "That's one of my favorites! Put it in! Put it in!"
"Way ahead of you, kiddo," Greg did just that before settling back in alongside his son.
Still, he couldn't help but spare one last glance out the window, to the shack engulfed in unnatural light at the bottom of the hill. Somewhere beneath that shack sat a secret, and a well-guarded one at that. A secret Rose had whispered warnings to him about, far out of anyone else's earshot. A secret Stan had all but begged him to keep, no matter how risky it might be. A secret that seemed to linger even now, after so much time had passed, after so much had changed.
Greg could only wonder, as he watched the shack flicker from the ground up once again… just how much else could that secret still stand to change?
Stan was no stranger to late nights spent in solitude. He'd had plenty over the past several decades, hard at work in the lab buried far beneath the shack. Work that finally felt like it was actually going somewhere now that he had a full set of journals on his side.
Still, that didn't mean his work wasn't any less taxing or trying. Decoding the journals' advanced notes and blueprints was a feat in and of itself, but Stan was used to that by now. What he wasn't used to was working on something so massive, so blatantly dangerous with his niece and nephew, asleep and unknowing, just a few floors above it all.
He tried not to focus on that as much as he could help it. Instead, he allowed himself a smile when he noticed the machine's energy levels continue to steadily climb. "Thirty long years and it's all led up to this. My greatest achievement!" Stan grinned as he basked in the machine's intense light. His smile quickly faded when he glanced down at boxers. "Probably should have worn pants."
As unstable as it was, the machine was prone to spitting out the occasional burst of fire or two. Stan barely flinched as one such flame struck him in the shoulder. He quickly patted it out before it could cause any reel damage. "Feisty. I like it!" he smirked as he headed back into the control room. From there, he continued working, watching the monitors above the desk like a hawk for any hopeful signs. There weren't any, but he'd been expecting as much this early on. Besides, he still had plenty of time left.
"If I finally pull this off, it'll all have been worth it…" Stan sighed as he sunk into his seat behind the desk. His excitement shifted to smug satisfaction as he flipped through journal 3, landing on a page with a sketch of Rose Quartz herself. "Hmph. And you said I wouldn't be able to do it. Shows what you knew, pinky."
He only lingered on that page for a moment more before turning back to the blueprints he needed. "I just have to play it cool; I'm already dodging a bullet with the Gems, but if any of them, or anyone else, ever finds out about this…" Stan trailed off, frowning as he glanced at the picture of Dipper and Mabel that he kept on his desk at all times. Worry welled up inside his chest as he took in their bright, innocent, smiling faces… only for him to quickly shrug it off. "Yeah, right. I've come this far. Who could possibly catch me now?"
Little did Stan know, as he flipped another switch and poured even more untold power into the machine, someone already had .
"See, there! There it is again!"
"Incredible… We haven't seen readings like this for thirty years!"
"This is different from that smaller spike we had a few weeks ago around the same area…"
"Is it coming from deep space? An enemy weapon site?"
"Zoom in on those coordinates, private."
"Yes, sir."
"...Just as I suspected. Gentlemen, we're going to Gravity Falls."
The next day saw a flood of visitors–tourists and locals alike–to the Mystery Shack, for a very special occasion. After all, it wasn't every day that the shack reopened its doors after being reclaimed from a hostile takeover at the hands of a tiny tyrant.
As he emerged from the basement in the early hours after dawn, Stan couldn't help but think how much had managed to change in only about a week or so. Gideon was in prison, he was now the town's hero, all three journals were sitting safely downstairs, and all their problems were finally over. Or at least, all of the problems everyone else could see.
Still, Stan was nothing if not a skilled showman. He put on a broad, excited smile for the eager crowd that had gathered for the grand reopening. That smile didn't even disappear when the Gems arrived to receive just as much adulation for their victory against the Gideonbot. Garnet remained as stoic as ever as she signed an autograph book, Pearl awkwardly thanked the crowd for their applause, and Amethyst gladly soaked it all in by crowd-surfing as the kids watched on nearby.
"Oh my gosh, that looks like so much fun!" Mabel exclaimed, grinning. "I wanna try!"
"Me too!" Steven agreed. The pair had only just begun to climb up to the counter when Stan stepped in to stop them.
"Hold it, you two. There will be plenty of time to throw yourselves at random strangers later. For now, it's time to humbly accept all the praise and love they wanna throw our way first."
"Why do I get the feeling like Stan isn't actually going be 'humble' about this?" Dipper whispered to Steven and Mabel. While the kids got a laugh out of this, Stan stepped up onto the counter as the Gems came forward for the festivities to truly begin.
"Welcome, everyone!" Stan bellowed to catch the crowd's attention. "To the grand reopening of the Mystery Shack! We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Lil' Gideon!" Stan helped up a plushie of the now-jailed physic. Remembering how Gideon had unlawfully spied on all of them, the townsfolk erupted into a round of boos and jeers. "Please, please," Stan interrupted. "Boo harder !" The crowd did just that as Stan tossed the plushie over to Amethyst, who tore it in half with a smug grin.
"But I didn't catch that porkchop all alone," Stan slung his arms over the twins' shoulders. "These two scamps deserve some of the glory." He quickly corrected himself, however, after Mabel playfully elbowed him in the gut. "Okay, okay. Most of the glory." Still, the twins weren't about to let Stan get off the hook without giving full credit where it was due. Dipper made sure of that as he cleared his throat and nodded over to the Gems. "Fine," Stan rolled his eyes, still grinning nonetheless. "I guess the Gems helped too, if you wanna get specific about things."
"If by 'helped' you mean squared off against a massive deadly automaton, then yes, we 'helped'," Pearl said proudly. "And then some, actually."
"Yeah, we almost died," Amethyst shrugged. She soaked in the impressed gasps from the crowd as they once again applauded the Gems' heroism. "But we'd totally do it all again to save you all from certain doom or whatever."
The crowd continued to cheer as Toby Determined squeezed to the front to get a photo of the ground for the town paper. "Smile for the camera!"
"Your camera's a cinder block, Toby," Stan deadpanned.
"I just wanna be a part of things…" Toby lowered his cinder block, disappointed.
"Smile for a real camera," Shandra Jimenez cut in as she arrived with her news crew.
"Everybody say something stupid!" Mabel exclaimed as they all gathered in close.
"Something stupid!" Everyone enthusiastically returned, still laughing even long after the photo was taken.
"And don't forget to come to the after-party tonight at eight!" Stan proclaimed to the crowd, holding up a poster advertising the event.
"It'll be wild !" Amethyst rambunctiously added.
"But not too wild," Pearl chimed in, much more cautious.
"You're both kind of right, actually," Garnet said, not bothering to elaborate.
"No matter how wild the party's gonna be, you won't wanna miss it!" Mabel piped up. "Lights! Music! Enchantment! And an amazing karaoke performance by our super-huge, super-awesome band: Love Patrol Alpha!" With a proud grin, Mabel held up her artistic rendition of this makeshift band. One that included not just her uncle and brother, but Steven and the Gems, all clad in flashy sequin jumpsuits.
"Oh wow! I can't wait!" Steven exclaimed, delighted. "I love karaoke! And what could be better than singing it with some of my favorite people in the world?"
"Absolutely nothing!" Mabel readily agreed. "Isn't that right, you guys?"
Despite their shared excitement, none of the others were that taken by the idea. "Uh, I don't know about that…" Dipper frowned, rubbing his arm.
"I never agreed to that ever," Stan said plainly.
"Hm…" Garnet mused, eyeing the poster.
"Do we really have to wear those outfits?" Amethyst cringed.
"Goodness, I hope not…" Pearl muttered.
"Too late!" Mabel grinned. "I wrote all your names on the list! It's happening!"
Before anyone could protest, Wendy burst into the shack, blowing an airhorn to catch the crowd's attention. "Buy a ticket, people! You know you don't have anything going on in your lives!"
Eager to claim their spot at such a special occasion, the crowd quickly filed out of the gift shop. This left the Pines and the Gems behind to share a tired, yet happy sigh over a successful grand-reopening. "Ah, this is the life," Stan smirked as he leaned against the counter. "The town loves us, we finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet, and everything is finally going my way."
"I have to say it is a welcome change of pace," Pearl agreed, smiling. "It's hard to believe we've gone over a week without facing any deadly threats or dangerous monsters. Everything's been so peaceful lately!"
"Ugh, it's so boring ," Amethyst groaned. "It kinda makes me wish something crazy would finally happen, ya know?"
"Seeing as how you three are basically disaster magnets, we probably won't have to wait too long for that," Stan joked.
"We can't really argue with you there," Garnet shrugged as Pearl and Amethyst shared a small laugh. For their part, the kids could only watch on as they shared a smile. It was strange, really, to see Stan and the Gems getting along so well. But with Gideon's defeat, it was as though something had changed between them. Smiles were shared more easily, laughter was much quicker to come by, even the very air between them all felt lighter somehow.
Indeed, the past week had brought plenty of changes. And for Steven, Dipper, and Mabel, to see their families finally starting to come together was the best change of them all.
Yet even so… there were still a few things left up in the air.
"Uh, hey, Grunkle Stan?" Dipper spoke up. He figured now was as good a time as any, especially since Stan appeared to be in such a good mood; besides, he'd already waited far longer than he wanted to to pose such an important question. "Now that we have a moment, I've been meaning to, um, maybe ask you for my journal back?"
"Wha-? Journal?" Stan raised an eyebrow. For a moment, Dipper feared that he was going to say no; instead, he did the exact opposite. "Oh!" He reached behind the nearby counter and pulled the journal out from under it. "You mean this old thing! It was so boring, I couldn't even finish it!"
"Aw, what?" Amethyst huffed. "You mean you didn't even get to the pages about us in there? Come on, Stan. There's some pretty juicy tidbits about Pearl in there, if you know what I mean…"
"Amethyst…" Pearl shot her an annoyed glance.
"Amethyst's right, Mr. Pines," Steven added. "There's a lot of really neat stuff about the Gems in the journal! And the pictures of them in it are super fancy and realistic! You should have checked them out!"
"Meh, I might have glanced over them for a minute or two," Stan shrugged as he handed the journal back over to Dipper. "I dunno. I honestly don't really remember or care."
It was a lie, of course; he'd poured over those pages copiously, just in case Rose might've slipped something onto them to throw him off course. Not that the Gems needed to know that. Or anything else that he'd been doing with that journal in the meantime, for that matter.
For his part, Dipper could only stare down at the book in his hands, shocked. "You're just… gonna give it back to me? Just like that?"
"What else do you want?" Stan asked, smirking. "A kiss on the cheek?"
Naturally, Dipper had about a million questions he wanted to ask, but as he glanced between his uncle and the journal, he knew now wasn't the time or place for any of them. Something wasn't adding up here–in fact, many things weren't. And, just like all of the other mysteries they'd faced this summer so far, Dipper knew he had to piece it all together. Somehow.
"Uh, I… I gotta go!" He hugged the journal tight to his chest as he hurried out. Still, he didn't intend on going entirely on his own. "Steven, Mabel, you too!"
"Huh?" The pair exchanged a puzzled glance.
"We do?"
"Yes! Now, come on!" Dipper grabbed them both by the arms to drag them privacy upstairs.
"Hm… I wonder why they're in such a hurry…" Pearl mused, curious.
"Who cares?" Stan asked as Soos stepped up beside him.
"You know, I wouldn't mind a kiss on the cheek."
"Not gonna happen."
As soon as they made it to the attic, Dipper slammed the door shut and pulled the shudders tight. Steven and Mabel could only stand by, confused by his sudden paranoia. But for Dipper, it was the least he could do to keep Stan, the Gems, or anyone else from that matter, overhearing everything he didn't want them to.
"Uh, Dipper? Is everything ok?" Steven finally asked.
"Are you kidding me? Of course not!" Dipper exclaimed, his grip on the journal tightening. "Almost losing my journal made me realize that we're already a good way into the summer and I'm still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on this journal, but why? The Gems were ready to burn the journal without a second thought because of what's written inside of it, but even they don't know any of the answers to the big questions about it. Who wrote it? Where are all the other journals? What was Bill talking about when he said everything will change? There's something huge going on right under our noses, and it's time we stopped goofing around and got to the bottom of it!"
"Bro, you've looked at that thing like, a bazillion times," Mabel pointed out. "There's nothing left to discover! Half the pages are blank, remember?"
Dipper sighed, frustrated, as he flipped through those pages, and, sure enough, found nothing on them. "But there's still so much we don't know about the town, the Gems, everything . I feel like I'm just one puzzle piece away from finally figuring it all out…"
"Don't worry, Dipper!" Steven encouraged. "I'm sure you'll get to the bottom of everything eventually. And until then, you can always count on us to help you out, right, Mabel?"
"You bet!" Mabel grabbed Waddles as he passed by. "Lord Mystery Ham is on the case! 'I play by me own rules, wot, wot?'"
"Aw, we should make him a little detective's outfit!" Steven suggested.
"Funny you mention that because I've been working on one!" Mabel held the half -finished costume up. "Isn't it adorable ?"
"Oh, totally!"
"I don't know why I tell you guys things," Dipper grumbled, shutting the journal. Because much like Stan, much like the Gems, even his own friend and sister weren't taking him seriously. And if none of them did, then who finally, actually would ?
While the townsfolk were busy buying their party tickets on the other side of the shack, a mysterious black vehicle pulled into the parking lot. Two imposing figures stepped out, neither of them too impressed with the kitschy tourist trap standing before them.
"Hey, Mr. Pines?" Soos frowned as he watched the car from the gift shop window. "What's the code word I'm supposed to yell when I see a government vehicle?"
Stan didn't catch the question at first amidst the friendly arm match he and Garnet were having. While he was already losing, he froze the second he heard Soos mention the government, allowing Garnet to slam his hand down with a triumphant smirk.
"Wait, what? Government vehicle?" Stan stood, startled. He rushed over to the window, his eyes widening at the sight of the discreetly official-looking car.
"The government?" Pearl whispered to Garnet, concerned. "What are they doing here again?"
"Yeah, I thought we smooth-talked them outta here years ago," Amethyst scowled. "You'd think they would've gotten the memo that there's nothing around here for them to see."
"Just remember what Rose always told us about dealing with local governments," Garnet calmly advised. "No mentioning magic, Homeworld, or anything of the like. We keep our powers under wraps and refuse them access to the temple, no matter what they say. Until they leave, we're to blend in, pass ourselves off as normal humans the best that we can."
"Way ahead of you, G," Amethyst seamlessly shapeshifted into a tall, "normal"-looking business woman. "How's this for a boring, average, unassuming human?"
"Humans don't shapeshift, Amethyst," Garnet reminded, crossing her arms.
"Ugh, fine ," Amethyst rolled her eyes as she turned back. "But the minute these guys leave, I'm totally gonna shapeshift into them and make fun of 'em behind their backs."
While the Gems solidified their action plan, none of them noticed Stan's rising panic. Acting fast, he pulled the shades down over each of the shop's windows before shouting into the intercom, "The Mystery Shack is now closed! Everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!"
A ripple of confusion ran through the customers, but even so, they started to file out, just as the kids came back down to see what all the fuss was about. "Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" Mabel asked, confused.
"Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop early," Dipper added, just as puzzled.
"Oh no!" Steven gasped. "Are we under attack by some sort of invisible Gem monster or something?"
"Steven, shh!" Pearl warned, anxiously glancing around.
Stan was every bit as on edge as he paced around the gift shop, at least until a heavy knock sounded at the door. He made sure to put on the biggest, most inconspicuous smile he could muster as he went to answer it. All he needed to do was put on a convincing enough show, a believable lie; easy, he told himself, just like he had every day for the past 30 years.
On the other side of the door, a pair of tall, suit-clad men awaited. Right off the bat, they brandished their government IDs. Stan tried his best to pretend he didn't notice them as he held his too-wide smile and cheerfully greeted the duo. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen! What can I get you? Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American presidents?" His grin grew a bit more anxious as he pulled a $5 out of his sleeve, hoping it would work. Unfortunately though, these stoic agents weren't the kind to be driven off by a mere bribe.
"My name is Agent Powers and this is Agent Trigger," the senior agent introduced himself and his partner. "We're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town."
" Activity !" Trigger added for extra emphasis.
"Mysterious activity?" Stan laughed, nervous. "In the Mystery Shack? You gotta be joking!"
"I assure you I'm not," Powers dryly affirmed. "I was born with a rare disorder that makes me physically incapable of experiencing humor."
Stan chuckled again, thinking he was only joking. Even so, Powers was entirely unmoved. "I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth. Now if you'll excuse us, we're conducting an investigation."
"Investigation!" Trigger exclaimed, pointing a threatening finger at Stan as they passed him by.
There was little he could do to stop either of them as they began poking around the gift shop. The Gems stiffened when they saw the agents, but still, they kept their cool as much as they could. Despite their best efforts to remain unnoticed, the agents still set their sights on them all the same.
"Ladies," Trigger gave the Gems a terse nod as he and Powers passed them by.
"Agents," Garnet smoothly returned. Amethyst and Pearl hovered close by, much less-straight faced compared to their leader. Their worry only sharpened at what Powers had to say next.
"You three look familiar…" Powers noted as he sized them up. "Have we met before?"
"Can't say that we have," Garnet shrugged.
"Y-yes, I think we would have remembered encountering such… esteemed members of the American administration as yourselves," Pearl added with a forced smile. "Don't you gentlemen agree?"
The agents exchanged a glance, seemingly buying this. Still, they weren't done with the Gems just yet. "If you don't mind me saying so, you three look a little… out of place in a small town like this…" Trigger noted with a skeptical frown.
"Oh, that's because the Gems are from spa-" Steven was quickly cut off when Pearl suddenly covered his mouth.
"Spain!" she exclaimed, panicking. "W-we're from Spain! Right, you two?"
" Sí ," Amethyst shrugged. Since her Spanish was a little rusty, she didn't bother saying much else. Fortunately, Garnet had it covered.
" Es precioso allí en esta época del año ," she said fluently. Fortunately, this was enough to finally shake the agents. With a simple nod, they moved on, allowing the Gems to breathe a sigh of relief. Steven, however, couldn't do the same.
"What gives, you guys?" Steven asked, frowning. "Why did you just lie to those agents like that?"
"Steven, we-" Pearl quickly stopped herself when she caught one of the agents glancing back at them. "We'll tell you later."
"But-"
"We'll tell you later ," Garnet echoed much more firmly. Despite his lingering confusion, Steven knew better than to argue with her.
The agents didn't get much further along in their inspection before they were interrupted once more, this time by Dipper. "Wait!" he exclaimed, running up to the pair. "Did you guys say you're investigating the mysteries of this town?"
"That information is classified, but yes," Powers knelt down to the boy's level. "Look, between you and me, I believe there is a conspiracy of paranormal, or perhaps even extraterrestrial origin all connected to this town. We're just one small lead away from blowing the lid off this entire mystery."
Stan barely stifled an alarmed flinch when he heard such troubling news. Dipper, on the other hand, was elated. "No way! I'm investigating the exact same thing! I found this journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we could crack the case!"
The agents exchanged an uncertain glance. Nonetheless, Powers handed him a stately business card. "If you have evidence of these claims, we should talk."
"We could talk right now!" Dipper eagerly offered. "Please, come in! I have so much to show you!"
Before any of them could take another step, however, Stan swiftly swept in. "I'm sorry, agents," he said, fixing himself squarely between the pair and his nephew. "The kid has an overactive imagination. And like, a sweating problem."
"Ha! Zing!" Mabel shouted from across the gift shop.
"Paranormal town stuff is just part of gift shop lore," Stan continued. "Sells more tickets, you know?"
At the snap of his boss' fingers, Soos stepped in to equip the agents with complimentary Mystery Shack memorabilia. "Bam! Swag!"
"Stan is absolutely right," Pearl spoke up. "There really isn't anything 'paranormal' a-and there certainly isn't anything 'extraterrestrial' here in Gravity Falls. It's a perfectly normal little town!"
"That's right," Garnet nodded her agreement.
"Yeah, nothin' to see here," Amethyst coolly shrugged.
"C-certainly nothing that would warrant any looking into!" Pearl pressed before Amethyst elbowed her hard in the knee. "Um, I mean, nothing at all!"
Powers and Trigger exchanged another look, but they seemed to take Stan and the Gems' word for it. For now, anyway. "Regardless of whether or not that's true, we still have other spots to investigate," Powers said as they both turned to leave. "We'll be on our way."
"I'm confiscating these as evidence," Trigger grabbed a large armful of Mr. Mystery bobbleheads on the way out.
"Smart move."
"No, wait!" Dipper called after them. "We have so much to talk about!"
"Hold it, kiddo," Stan quickly stopped him as the door slammed shut behind the agents. "Trust me, the last thing you want around during a party is cops."
"Seriously, those guys were total buzzkills," Amethyst huffed. She made good on her word as she shapeshifted into Agent Powers, even going as far to throw her voice to mock him. "'Oh, blah, blah, blah, we're investigating weird stuff, blah, blah, conspiracies, blah, blah, paranormal, blaahhh." She groaned as she shifted back into herself. "I'm glad they finally left. They were putting me to sleep!"
"So… why didn't you guys let me tell them you're from space?" Steven asked the Gems. "I mean, all of us know about it. So what's the problem with telling other people?"
"The problem, Steven, is that we've lived in Gravity Falls a very long time," Pearl sighed. "Long enough that the people of this town have gotten used to our presence here and think little of it. But outside of Gravity Falls… well…"
"People out there don't adapt as well to the unknown as they do here," Garnet said. "Especially to things like the supernatural."
"Yeah, or aliens," Amethyst added.
"But you guys are aliens!" Dipper exclaimed, frustrated.
"And your point is…?"
"The point is those agents have no business sticking their noses around here," Stan concluded. "Which is why I'm confiscating that card."
"Hey!" Dipper protested when Stan swiped the agents' card away from him, stuffing into a box of other "contraband".
"Now how's about you try being a normal kid for once," Stan sneered over his shoulder. "Flirt with a girl, steal a pie off a windowsill or something."
"But Grunkle Stan, you don't understand!"
"And don't go talking to those agents!" Stan left on that stern order. One that Dipper was far from happy about.
"Ugh, that could have been my big break!" he groaned, thoroughly annoyed. With Stan gone, he had only the Gems left to focus his frustration on; and after what just happened, there was still plenty of it left to spare. "You guys can't be serious about all this."
"We're completely serious," Garnet confirmed.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but we're with Stan on this one," Pearl said. "Having those agents poking around will only needlessly complicate things."
"But they could help us finally figure out why Gravity Falls is so weird!" Dipper argued.
"Or they could totally ruin everything," Amethyst countered. "Listen, dude. We got a sweet deal here. Everything's finally chill for once. Why risk shaking it all up for a few lame old mysteries that don't even matter?"
"They do matter!" Dipper stressed. "You guys know they do! You can't just shrug all of this stuff off like it's nothing!"
"And we're not," Garnet shook her head. "But there are a lot of things that take priority over those mysteries. And making sure we can continue to protect this town uninterrupted is one of those things."
"Uh, speaking of which…" Amethyst peered up the hill from her spot in the doorframe. "We got agents at the temple…" Sure enough, the government vehicle was already parked mere steps away from the Gems' home.
"Ugh, we should have expected as much," Pearl groaned as they began to head out. "They just don't know when to quit. I suppose we'll just have to trick them into leaving just like we did the last time the government decided to pay us a visit."
"Looks like we'll have to break out the smoke machines," Garnet noted.
"And the crossbow!" Amethyst smirked mischievously. "You know what? This might be fun after all!"
As the Gems left, Dipper could only let out another disgruntled sigh. To his surprise, Steven echoed it as he watched the Gems go, a perplexed look written all over his face. "I still don't know why the Gems are so worried…." he mused, frowning. "I mean, what's the worst that could happen if they let other people outside of Gravity Falls know about all the brave stuff they do to protect the Earth every day?"
"I know, right?" Dipper sullenly agreed. "Those agents have the experience and resources that could help us solve everything, but it's like they just don't care! What are the Gems and Stan so afraid of anyway?"
"Boys, boys, boys," Mabel cut in, grinning. "You're both so worried about all this heavy stuff, but maybe Grunkle Stan and the Gems are right. We're throwing a party tonight! Dipper, can't you go one night without searching for bigfoot or raising the dead or whatever?"
"I'm not gonna raise the dead," Dipper scoffed. "I just need a chance to show those agents the journal…"
"Trust me, bro, the only book you'll need tonight is right here!" With a flourish, Mabel held up a book of karaoke songs that came along with the machine she'd rented for the party.
"You know what, Mabel? You're right," Steven finally folded into a smile as he leafed through the book. "We've waited this long to look for answers; I'm sure we can wait just one more night. Besides, I can't wait to jam out to every song in here tonight!"
"That's the spirit!" Mabel cheered. "When I say kara—, you say —oke! Kara—"
"—Oke!" Steven finished, stars in his eyes.
"Kara—"
"—Oke!"
"Kara—" Mabel started again, pointing to her brother this time. For his part, Dipper simply fixed the pair with a disapproving scowl. Not that either of them minded; after all, the promise evening of singing under the stars was more than enough to excite them on its own. "We could do this all day."
Long before anyone even arrived at the party, the Mystery Shack was aglow with anticipation that evening. Soos had already set up a generous snack table while Wendy put up posters and streamers. Steven and Greg had even come down to help set up, and Stan wasted no time putting them to work hanging up strings of lights around the yard.
"You should have seen those agents, Dad!" Steven exclaimed. "They were so tall and serious . I don't think I saw either of them smile once! Even the Gems were kind of freaked out by them. Isn't that weird?"
"Eh, not really," Greg said. "You mom wasn't a big fan of the government back in the day. She said it reminded her of-" He swiftly cut himself off as he stole a glance down at his ever-curious son. "Uh… it reminded her of... Huh, what do you know? I d-don't really remember! Sorry, kiddo."
"Aw, really?" Steven frowned, disappointed. "Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl didn't want those government guys to know much about them… Do you think it was because of whatever Mom said?"
"P-probably," Greg nodded as he worked on changing the subject. "But you don't need to stress yourself out over all that stuff tonight, Sto-ball. Just cut loose and enjoy the party!"
"Hm… yeah, I guess…" Steven half-heartedly agreed. Even though the Gems had only started to share some of their secrets lately, it always seemed as though they were hiding so many more. Secrets that Steven longed to know, to understand, to be a part of.
After all, he asked himself for what felt like the hundredth time now, he was a Crystal Gem too, right?
Greg cut through his troubled thoughts. "Well, I think we're just about done hanging all these—whoa!" He yelped as a blast of confetti struck him from behind, nearly knocking him off his ladder.
"Sorry, Mr. Universe!" Mabel called from her spot on the porch. "But hey, at least we know the confetti cannon works!"
"It better for as much as I'm paying to rent that thing," Stan said, barely glancing up from his party checklist.
"Oh! And the karaoke machine has all the best songs!" Mabel turned to the machine as she switched through its offerings. "'We Built this Township on Rock and Roll', 'Danger Lane to Highway Town', 'Taking Over the Stars' by &ndra!"
"Oh my gosh, I love that song!" Steven exclaimed, beaming.
"Me too!" Mabel excitedly agreed. "We're all gonna sound totally awesome singing it tonight!"
"Listen, kid," Stan cut in. "You do not wanna hear this voice singing. Trust me."
"Grunkle Stan, karaoke isn't about sounding good," Mabel countered. "It's about sounding terrible together . Right, you guys?" she called to the Gems as they arrived at the party.
"What are we talkin' about?" Amethyst asked.
"We're talking about how we're all gonna do karaoke together later!" Steven smiled. "It'll be a great bonding experience for all of us! Maybe one that could help us all open up about ourselves a little more?"
"Oh, right," Pearl said, disinterested. "The singing thing."
"Huh. I figured you three would be a little more excited for some karaoke action," Greg said with a small chuckle. "You know, seeing as how you guys love to sing."
He continued laughing, only to find that the Gems didn't so much as crack a smile his way. Something he'd gotten more than used to ever since they'd all lost Rose years ago. "Heh, woo boy…" Greg muttered as the Gems moved on. No matter how much time may have passed, it seemed as though some things would never really change.
Dipper shot the Gems a brief, distrustful glance as they passed him and Wendy by. He had every reason to be upset after how they'd warded the agents off earlier, if only to save themselves from their scrutiny. And now, because of them and Stan, he was right back to square one, back to having far more questions than all of the answers he longed to reach.
Wendy took notice of the heavy scowl hanging on Dipper's face, so she made an effort to lift it by lightening the mood. "Check it out! These black lights make my teeth look scary!" she grinned as she stood in the glow of a nearby neon light. "It's like a crime scene in my mouth! C'mon, you know you love it."
Instead of so much as even trying to smile, Dipper let out another aggravated sigh. "It's not fair. Finally, I meet someone who can help me solve the mysteries of this town and what happens? The Gems just drive them off while Stan confiscates their card from me."
"Dude, I probably shouldn't be telling you this," Wendy lowered her voice so her boss wouldn't overhear. "But I'm pretty sure Stan hides like, everything in his room. If that card you want is anywhere, it's gotta be in there."
"Really?" Dipper asked, intrigued. "But wait… If I go into Stan's room, I could get in so much trouble."
"Yeah, you're probably right," Wendy nodded, before playfully punching him in the arm. "That's what makes it fun, dummy!"
Dipper didn't need much more convincing beyond that. The pair continued solidifying their plan, grateful for the buzz provided by the first few party guests arriving at the shack.
"Aw man, I can't wait to smash these Stañatas!" Soos smiled as he finished setting the Stan-shaped piñatas up. Only for someone else to come along and bust them open in his stead.
"Smash!" Grenda body-slammed into the table, sending the Stañatas–and the candy inside them–flying. "Grenda has entered the party!"
"Stan's brains look delicious!" Candy happily scooped up some of the treats for herself.
"Girls!" Mabel hurried over to her friends, pulling them both into a tight hug.
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh, Mabel!" Grenda yelled, her eyes wide with wonder. "Is that a boombox sweater?!"
"See for yourself."
"Poke!" Grenda tapped the play button on the sweater. Mabel beamed as it began flashing and playing upbeat music for her and her friends to dance to.
Steven grinned as he stood by and watched, but he didn't bother joining them. Largely since he was still so preoccupied with how strange the Gems had acted earlier, at least until he caught sight of the hand Connie was waving in front of his face.
"Hello? Steven? Anybody in there?"
"Oh! Sorry, Connie," Steven rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling. "Glad you could make it!"
"Yeah," Connie's smile quickly faded into confusion. "So, uh, why aren't you joining in on all the fun?" She nodded over to where Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were still excitedly dancing together.
"Well… I would," Steven admitted. "But… I've just been… doing some thinking instead…"
"Oh yeah?" Connie leaned in, curious. "Thinking about what?"
Steven opened his mouth to answer, only to stop short when the Gems suddenly stepped in to join them. "Hello, you two," Garnet greeted them.
"You guys ready to PAR-TAY?!" Amethyst asked, pumping her fists.
"Y-you bet we are!" Steven let out a forced laugh. "In fact…. We're so ready to party that we're gonna go get a head start on it over here! A-and we're totally not gonna talk about anything we shouldn't be talking about. So, uh…. yeah! Bye!"
With that, Steven grabbed Connie and led her off–well out of the Gems' earshot. "Well, that was strange…" Pearl noted with a frown. "But I'm sure it's nothing we need to be concerned about."
"The only thing I'm concerned about is that snack table over there," Amethyst licked her lips as she rushed over to it.
"Amethyst, wait!" Pearl called, running after her. "You can't just eat all of those snacks! Oh, at least use a plate, for crying out loud!"
By the time the party properly started, plenty of guests had arrived. No one wanted to miss what Stan had touted as "the biggest celebration Gravity Falls has ever seen", after all.
"Aw, I thought this was gonna be a rave…" Thompson frowned as he and the other teens filed in.
"Thompson! Take off your shirt and make it a rave!" Nate challenged.
"I'll do anything for your approval!" Thompson cried as he tore his shirt off.
"Ooo! Now it's a real party!" Jenny laughed as Sour Cream pulled out a glow stick and started waving it around. Meanwhile, Tambry snapped a photo of the now-shirtless Thompson with her phone, wasting no time posting it to social media.
Guests only continued to pour in from there as Stan gladly took their money at the ticket table. "Wow, Mr. Pines," Greg said as he helped him count his cash. " Who knew that so many people would be willing to spend $10 to come to a party that they could have otherwise gotten into for free?"
"Tell me about it," Stan smirked. "The whole town is showing up! And no sign of those pesky agents either."
"Oh yeah, Steven was telling me about them," Greg said. As the tide of guests came to a brief lull, he lowered his voice and asked, "So, uh…. What are you gonna do if they find out about-"
"They won't," Stan coldly cut him off. "I've gotten this far without anyone finding out about it. I'm not about to let two crackpot government crooks ruin everything."
"Sounds like you're on the same page as the Gems about those guys," Greg pointed out. "Though I guess they're worried for entirely different reasons."
"Pfft, whatever," Stan crossed his arms. "Let 'em be skeeved out by those dumb agents. As far as I'm concerned, they're not gonna find out about it, and you're not gonna tell them, right, Greg?"
"Hey, I've kept that promise for over twenty years now," Greg assured. "I have no reason to break it now."
"Good," Stan nodded as he turned his attention back to the party. "Wendy, Dipper! How are those posters coming along?" He called, only to receive no response. Sure enough, a glance over his shoulder showed him neither of them were at their assigned post.
And, after their run-in with the agents earlier, Stan didn't have to think too hard about what his notoriously hard-headed nephew might be up to.