As soon as the party got busy enough, Dipper and Wendy snuck inside the shack, unseen. They quietly made their way to Stan's room, which was tacked with all sorts of warnings to keep his niece and nephew out. Not that Dipper was about to let that stop him.
"I'll keep an eye out for Stan," Wendy said. "You go rustle through his weird old man biz."
Dipper nodded as he moved for the door, only to find it wouldn't budge. "What? It's locked!"
Before either of them could even think about coming up with anything, something suddenly dropped from the ceiling, landing squarely between them and the door. "Boo!" Amethyst shouted, grinning at Dipper. "Ha! You should have seen the look on your face, dude! It was classic."
"A-Amethyst?!" Dipper exclaimed, alarmed. "What are you doing here?"
"Eh, just hangin' around," Amethyst lengthened her arms so she could hang from the rafters above them. "I think the better question is what are you guys doing trying to get into Stan's room? What, are you gonna try and see if he has any cool weird stuff in there?"
Dipper hesitated, unsure of what to say. Fortunately, Wendy spoke up in his stead. "Yeah, maybe," she shrugged. "Why? You gonna tell Stan or something?"
"Pfft, why would I do that?" Amethyst scoffed. "I've broken into Stan's room plenty of times just to tick him off. In fact, here's a bit of advice. He keeps the key on top of the door frame." She kicked the door, sending the key tumbling into the palm of her hand before she handed it off to Dipper. "Here ya go."
"Whoa… uh, thanks, Amethyst," he said, equally surprised and grateful.
"No prob, dude," Amethyst smirked as she began to head off. "If you find anything creepy awesome in there like a dead body or a week-old sandwich, let me know!"
The second Amethyst turned the corner, Dipper and Wendy shared a sigh of relief. "Ok, that was way too close, dude," Wendy frowned. "You might wanna get in there and get out before someone like Garnet or Pearl shows up. Chances are they won't be as easy to get rid of as Amethyst was."
"Good point," Dipper agreed. Without wasting another second, he unlocked the door and slipped inside.
He hadn't really been in Stan's room before, and with good reason. It was a musty, poorly-lit space that smelled of… something Dipper couldn't quite place. The less time spent in here, the better, which was why he got to work searching for what he came here for.
"Alright, Grunkle Stan, where did you hide that card?" he muttered as he began inspecting the drawers. At first, all he found were old copies of Gold Chains for Old Men magazine, boxing gloves and brass knuckles, and, disturbingly enough, catalogs of women's clothing and swimwear. Dipper didn't even want to think about what use his uncle might've had for those.
He stopped his search when he noticed the large, smug portrait of Stan hanging just above the bed. At first, Dipper didn't think much of it, at least until he noticed just how oddly it was hung. Stepping up onto the bed, he pushed the portrait aside to find a secret compartment hidden behind it. And within that compartment sat Stan's coveted contraband box. "Yes!" Dipper exclaimed, quickly finding the agents' card inside. "I got it."
Not wanting to waste any time, Dipper rushed for the phone resting beside Stan's bed and quickly dialed the number on the card. He anxiously held his breath as it rang for a moment before someone finally picked up. "Agent Powers speaking."
"Hi! This is Dipper, the kid from the Mystery Shack," Dipper began, trying not to let his excitement get the better of him. "The one with the, um, 'sweating problem'? B-but anyway, I have that journal I wanted to show you!"
"And you're certain this 'journal' will help our case?"
"I'm a hundred percent positive."
"Very well," Powers said after a moment or two. "We're on our way."
Before Dipper could even thank the agent, the line abruptly went dead. He turned to find none other than Stan standing right behind him, his finger on the receiver and an angry scowl on his face.
"Sorry, Dipper!" Wendy called from behind him. "I got distracted…" She held her phone up to show the photo of Thompson "raving" that Tambry had just sent her.
"Kid, why did you call those agents?" Stan took the phone away from Dipper and staunchly hung it up. "If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times! The only weird thing in Gravity Falls is the Gems, and even then they're not that weird once you get used to 'em. But aside from them, there's nothing 'supernatural' in this town."
"Yes, there is!" Dipper protested, frustrated. "After everything that's happened, you have to know that by now!"
"All I know is that your dumb obsession is gonna get us all in trouble someday," Stan sullenly shoved his nephew out of the room "Now go enjoy the rest of the party. 'Cause when it's over, you're grounded!"
While Dipper wanted to argue, the downright fierce look on Stan's face was enough to tell him it wouldn't do any good. Not that it mattered much anyway; he got what he wanted. It'd only be a matter of time before the agents arrived. It'd only be a matter of time before this mystery was finally solved, once and for all.
And so, without another word, he turned and walked away, ready to do whatever it took to make that happen.
The tension between her brother and uncle tonight was all but lost on Mabel. Instead, she cheerfully roamed the party outside, warmly greeting guests as they began enjoying the festivities. She only stopped short when she happened upon the cops as they pulled in to "investigate" the rowdy scene before them. "What's the problem, officers?" Mabel asked them. "Did you catch my face going ninety smiles per hour?"
"We've got complaints about the loudest party in town," Durland reported.
"Three words," Blubbs said, his tone dead serious. "We want in."
Mabel readily complied by slipping party horns into both of her mouths as she dropped her voice down to an excited whisper, "Welcome to your dreams!"
As the party heated up, the Gems were mostly content to stand on the fringes of it. Or at least, that's what Garnet and Pearl did as Amethyst enjoyed herself, dancing in her own unique way. That is, until Greg happened to pass by.
"Uh, hey, you guys," he greeted them with an awkward smile. "How are you liking the party?"
Garnet simply shrugged and said, "It's alright."
"Heh, yeah," Greg chuckled. "You know, Mr. Pines asked me to play a few songs from my old set later on. You guys should come check it out. They were some of Rose's favorites."
"Oh really?" Pearl shot him a critical glance.
"Y-yeah," Greg blushed, realizing that his attempt at small talk was floundering fast. "So um… have any of you guys seen Steven around lately?"
"Not since he and Connie ran off earlier," Amethyst shoved a handful of chips into her mouth. "They're probably playing spin the bottle or whatever."
"Amethyst!" Pearl scolded. Likewise, Greg's eyes widened at the thought.
"What? It's probably true."
Except it wasn't exactly. True, Steven and Connie had slipped away to a quieter corner of the party, but mostly to talk more than anything else. Without the Gems around, Steven was able to fill her in on what happened that morning, including the agents and the Gems' reaction to them.
"And when I asked them why they lied to the agents, they just said something about how people don't adapt to things like them outside of Gravity Falls," Steven explained, frowning. "But I still don't get it. I'm sure if people knew about how hard they work to protect the earth, then they wouldn't be afraid of the Gems! They'd love them, just like people here do!"
"I don't know, Steven…" Connie said, thoughtful. "Maybe the reason why the Gems are so afraid of the government is because they're not from Earth in the first place."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"I'm just saying, from what I've heard, the government doesn't really react the best to aliens. Haven't you ever heard of Area 51?"
"Area 50-what?" Steven asked, confused.
Connie raised an eyebrow, but she didn't get much of a chance to explain before Mabel hurried over to them. "There you guys are! The karaoke extravaganza is about to begin! You gotta come watch. It's gonna be kar awesome! "
"We'll be there in a second, Mabel," Connie assured, smiling. "We were just—whoa!" She was cut off as Mabel suddenly grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back towards the rest of the party.
"Come on, Connie!" Mabel encouraged, brightly beaming. "You too, Steven! We're gonna miss the first act if we don't hurry!"
"Don't worry, I'm coming!" Steven stood to follow the girls. Only to stop in his tracks when Dipper caught his arm and whispered something in his ear.
"Whoa, really?" Steven asked, impressed by what he'd just heard.
"Yeah, and I'm gonna need your help," Dipper said with a daring grin. "Come on!"
Steven nodded, following along after Dipper before either Mabel or Connie could notice they were gone. And yet, as they got further away from the party and into the woods, Steven couldn't help but have second thoughts. "...Dipper, are you sure about this?" he glanced back towards the shack and the temple. "I mean, your uncle and the Gems really didn't want any of us talking to those agents. What if they find out and we get in trouble?"
"If we do, then it'll be more than worth it," Dipper countered, unshaken. "This is exactly the chance I've been waiting all summer for, Steven! A chance to finally connect all the dots and figure everything out all at once. A chance to get someone to finally take me seriously for once-"
"I take you seriously," Steven cut him off. "Isn't that enough?" Dipper stopped short, startled by just how earnestly he was looking at him, how much he truly seemed to mean it. His face flushed hot, but before he could even say a word to respond, the sound of a car door shutting somewhere behind them caught his attention.
As the agents approached, Steven offered them a friendly, upbeat wave. "Hi!" he greeted, before he caught Dipper shaking his head. A silent reminder of what he'd just said, of how much he wanted both of them to be taken seriously here. "Oh, uh, I mean… good evening," Steven corrected himself, lowering his voice a bit for extra effect.
"Alright, boys, let's make this quick," Agent Powers said. "We don't have all night."
"Don't worry; you guys won't regret this," Dipper assured. "Working together, we can crack all of the big questions of Gravity Falls! Trust me, this book is the lead you've been looking for." He pulled the journal out and handed it over to the agents so they could get a better look. "So I'm thinking we do a full scale investigation; forensics, researchers… Do you guys have a helicopter? Oh, I'm sorry, helicopters ."
"I wanna ride on a helicopter!" Steven exclaimed, his usual excitement returning. Even so, the agents weren't quite convinced.
"Kid, I'd love to believe you, but this just looks like more junk from your uncle's gift shop," Powers scoffed as he pointed out one of the journal's more outlandish entries. "I mean, a Leprecorn? I can't be the only one who thinks that's not funny."
"I can confirm," Trigger shook his head. "Not funny."
"No! It's real, I swear!" Dipper protested, realizing that this one and only chance was already starting to slip away from him. "You should 'send it to the lab'. Am I saying that right?"
"Your uncle was right about that overactive imagination of yours," Powers dismissively handed the journal back to Dipper. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have paperwork to do."
" Boring paperwork," Trigger emphasized as they began to head back to their car.
"But wait!" Dipper called after them. "What if I told you we have real, actual aliens right here in Gravity Falls?!"
"He's right!" Steven vouched for him. "They're called the Crystal Gems and they're from a planet called Homeworld, way out somewhere in space! Believe me, I should know. I don't just live with them, I am one of them!" With a hopeful smile, he lifted his shirt to show off his gemstone. Even still, the agents weren't anywhere close to interested.
"Kid, I'll level with you," Powers said. "That thing looks more like a tacky decoration anyone could buy at the local dollar store than anything even remotely resembling an alien artifact."
Steven and Dipper exchanged a worried glance. Whatever ground they thought they had, they were quickly losing it. "B-but it's true!" Dipper stressed, desperate. "The Gems really are aliens and they can do magic and—Steven! Quick! Show them your shield or your bubble or-"
"I think we've heard enough," Powers interrupted as he and Trigger turned away. "Like I said, we don't have time to entertain flights of fantasy like these."
"No, wait!" Dipper practically begged. "I can prove all this stuff is real!" Acting fast, he turned to the journal, rapidly flipping through its pages to find something, anything that could change the agents' minds. "Gnomes… cursed objects… Gem stuff… spells, aha! Listen to this!" He began reading out an incantation written out in the journal, not bothering to check what it was even for. "Uh… Corpus levitus! Diablo dominus!"
"Um… Dipper?" Steven spoke up. On the first few words of the spell alone, an unsettling breeze began to whip through the trees above them. Dipper, however, didn't notice or care. How could he, when he was on the verge of something so huge?
"Mondo vicium!" he finished loudly. The final words of the spell echoed only for a moment, until they were drowned out by the rumble of the earth beneath their feet. Dipper snapped the journal shut as he exchanged a wide-eyed glance with Steven. But whatever that incantation was, clearly, it was far too late to take it back now.
The good news was at least they had the agents' full attention now. Not that meant much against the rapidly increasing earthquake. It quickly turned violent, to the point that it tore a wide, deep crack in the forest floor. Steven only narrowly managed to catch Dipper before he could fall into it, and it was a good thing he did too. Because what emerged from that dark crevice–
Was nothing short of a nightmare .
A hand shot up first–long, spindly fingers with flesh rotting from each one. The rest soon followed, a being that almost looked human–and maybe it once had been, when it was alive. Now, it was nothing more than a decrepit, decaying corpse, skin sloughing from exposed bones and empty, glowing eyes hanging from their sockets as it dragged itself out of the depths of its grave. On its own, it was a sickening sight; but the fact that it was moving , lumbering slowly entirely on its own, was terrifying on a whole other level.
While Steven and the agents were shocked stiff, Dipper couldn't help but let out an incredulous laugh. For as grotesque as it was, this creature was exactly what he needed right now. "Ha! A zombie! A real, actual zombie! Everything else in the journal is just as real as that guy too. Now can we work together?"
As shaken as both of the agents were, this question was all but ignored. "Mother of all that is holy!" Powers exclaimed, his usual calm composure completely gone now.
"What do we do?!" Trigger took a step back as the zombie drew in closer.
"It's just one zombie," Dipper said, already leafing through the journal for a way to ward it off. "Trust me, we see things like this all the time here, right, Steven?"
"Uh, y-yeah…" Steven offered up a nervous grin. "If worse comes to worse, we can always find the Gems and have them—AH!"
He screamed when the zombie suddenly pounced at them, ready to attack. He threw his arms out wide, forming a bubble around himself and Dipper just before the corpse could come crashing into it. There it remained, clawing and beating against the sturdy pink surface keeping the frightened boys behind it safe. They could only watch as Agent Power bashed the zombie's head in with a rock, sending it to the ground. "Whoa…. That was a close one…" Steven muttered, staring at the downed zombie.
"W-what is that?!" Trigger eyed the pink bubble, awestruck.
"Oh this?" Steven skimmed the side of it. "It's my bubble."
"See? We told you guys!" Dipper exclaimed, grinning. "The Gems really are magical aliens! Now you have to believe us, right?"
The agents could only stare at each other, utterly dumbfounded by everything they'd seen. Still, Steven made an effort at easing some of the tension with a small, anxious laugh. "W-well, hey, at least we only had to deal with that one zombie, huh?"
Almost as soon as he finished speaking, he was suddenly proven wrong. The ground trembled once more as more decomposing limbs began to pop out of the crack the first zombie had come from. More and more undead creatures were crawling out of the fissure by the second, quickly coming together to form a horde that vastly outnumbered the still-living humans watching them. Humans that they all too quickly began to hungrily turn to.
"Oh my gosh!" Dipper gripped Steven's arm for support as the zombies began leering toward them. "Y-you guys can help, right?"
"Kid, we've been chasing the paranormal for years but we have never seen anything like this before!" Power exclaimed, shaking his head.
"Get down!" Trigger warned his partner, but it was already too late. Before either of them could see it coming, the zombies attacked them from behind, dragging them to the ground. The boys could only narrowly pull themselves away before the zombies could get them too, but there was nothing they could do to help the agents. Nothing but watch as they were dragged into the darkness of the forest, until even their screams fell into sudden silence.
"Oh man, what have I done?!" Dipper exclaimed, distraught. He didn't have much more time on his side to regret his disastrous decisions though. After all, the zombies were still very much on the prowl.
"Dipper, look out!" Steven shoved them both out of the way just before another zombie could strike. Still, the others showed no signs of stopping, with even more emerging until the surrounding forest was practically flooded with them. And every last one was determined to make the boys their next meal. "We've gotta get out of here. Come on!" Steven grabbed Dipper by the hand and took off toward the shack–
With a deadly undead army following right behind them.
By now, the "karaoke extravaganza" was well underway. Blubs and Durland took the stage before a cheering crowd, entertaining them with an impromptu rap number.
"What up, fools, its Blubbs and Durls-"
"Makin' all that money and getting' them girls!"
"Is this party legendary or what?!" Mabel took the mic to rally the crowd. "When I say 'Mabel', you say 'Pines'! Mabel-!"
Instead of echoing her, a sharp scream rang out through the air instead. It came as the ground around the shake began to shake, sending even more frightened cries through the crowd. Not that Mabel noticed as she kept the excitement going. "Mabel-!" she tried again, only for someone to suddenly shout-
"We're all gonna die!"
"Why does that never work?" Mabel wondered, frowning.
"Whoa, I think it's an earthquake!" Wendy shouted, blowing an airhorn to catch the terrified partygoers' attention. "Hey, everybody! We gotta get outta here!"
Not a single guest argued. Instead, they all made a beeline away from the shack. Amidst that crowd, Connie struggled to find any of her friends in the chaos of it all. "Steven?!" she called, deeply worried. "Mabel? Dipper?"
"Connie!" Candy and Grenda caught her off guard as they ran past her. "You gotta escape while you still can!"
"But what about-" Connie was cut off as someone bumped into her, knocking her to the ground. Even as she picked herself up, she was unable to fight against the tide of frantic, fleeing party guests. "No, wait!" she cried, trying to break free, but to no avail. She was left with no choice but to follow the flow of the crowd as they ran for their lives. She was left with no choice but to leave her friends to whatever catastrophe was apparently unfolding.
"Wait! Don't leave!" Mabel shouted after the escaping guests. "We haven't even done our double-family karaoke song yet!"
She didn't get a chance to chase after them as she spotted Dipper and Steven, returning to the party in just as much of a hurry as everyone else was leaving it. The boys only stopped just shy of the stage, desperate to catch their breaths and their bearings after everything they'd been through.
"Guys, what's going on?!" Mabel asked them, concerned.
Steven was the first to try to offer an answer, albeit a broken, breathless one. "W-we…. agents…. woods… journal… spell… zom-"
"Zombies!" Mabel finished for him. Sure enough, the army of the undead was only just emerging from the woods, groaning and growling as they marched straight for the Mystery Shack. As frightening of a sight as it was, Mabel couldn't help but fix her brother with a frustrated glare. "Dipper, what's the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?"
"Raise the dead…" Dipper said, sighing.
"And what did you do?"
"Raised the dead…"
"S-so, uh, what are we gonna do?" Steven drew in close to the twins as the zombies continued their approach. "There's so many of them, and only three of us!"
"Make that four!" Soos proclaimed as he came to stand before the kids. "Stay back, dudes. This is about to get intense."
Despite his resolve, there was little any of them could do but back up against the shack as the zombies pushed in. "We gotta find the Gems!" Steven cried over the noisy onslaught.
"How are we supposed to do that?!" Dipper asked. "In case you haven't noticed, we're totally surrounded!"
"Duck!" Mabel warned just in time. Everyone did exactly that as one of the zombies slung its disembodied head straight at them.
"Dudes, stay calm," Soos cautioned. "I've been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I've seen, I literally know everything there is to know about how to avoid zombies."
He barely had time to finish speaking before the unthinkable happened. A zombie came up from behind, latching onto Soos' arm and sinking its teeth in deep. The kids watched, shocked, as his skin paled and his eyes began to glow. Sure signs that he wasn't just the zombies' first victim; he had become one himself. "On second thought," he turned back to the kids. "Gonna flip the script. Can I… eat your brains? Yea or nay? Seeing some yea faces over here."
The kids only answered him with a shared, scared scream. With no one left to guard them and no real means of fighting back, escape was their only option. Not that they had much of a chance as the zombies began to surround them on all sides, all more than eager to get a bite or three.
But then, just when it seemed like there was no way out, rescue finally arrived. A large table slammed into several of the zombies, mowing them down in an explosion of detaching limbs. Seconds later, a familiar spear skewered several of the corpses straight through the chest, while a whip coiled around several more, squeezing them until their brittle bones snapped.
The kids heaved a sigh of relief as the Gems dropped in from above between them and the zombies, their weapons already poised for more. "Ugh, zombies ," Amethyst groaned, lashing out at one that came in too close for comfort. "Man, it's been years since we've beaten some old dead heads in. Heck, it's been so long I can barely even remember what happened last time..."
"Kids! Are you all alright?!" Pearl glanced back at the trio behind them. "What happened?"
"Dipper accidentally summoned the zombies to try and convince those government guys that all the weird stuff in Gravity Falls is real!" Steven quickly explained.
"Steven!" Dipper snapped.
"Oh, was I not supposed to tell them that? Sorry!"
"You did what ?!" Pearl looked at Dipper, appalled.
"Dude!" Amethyst scolded as she fought to break the end of her whip away from a zombie.
"I-I didn't mean to!" Dipper protested. "I was just-"
"There will be time to talk about this later!" Garnet shouted over the groaning corpses. "For now, you three need to get inside! We'll deal with them."
None of the kids argued with this plan. Instead, they took the clearing the Gems created for them, leaving them to fend the creatures off as they tried to find a way inside. For their part, the Gems stood strong against the horde, or at least, they did at first. Garnet slammed her fists hard into several drooping jaws at once, sending more than a few zombie heads flying in her wake. Amethyst summoned another whip, using both weapons to slam several zombies straight into each other, swiftly splitting them apart. Pearl took to the air, leaping high before diving back down to cut down a pack of zombies that had gone after the kids. She was just about ready to call upon another spear when a zombie managed to chomp down hard on her exposed arm when she wasn't looking.
"Ow!" Pearl yelped, swinging her other arm out to punch the zombie away. "Ugh, it's times like these I'm glad that we're made of light instead of flesh. Still, that doesn't make these things any less annoying!"
"Seriously," Amethyst kicked the zombie gnawing on her leg away. "How many of these creeps did Dipper even summon anyway?!"
"Stand your ground, Gems!" Garnet ordered. "Don't let them overwhelm you!" And yet, the zombies were doing exactly that as they forced the Gems back up against the shack. A troubling sign when there were still so many of them and so few of the Gems.
At the same time, Dipper, Mabel, and Steven continued their desperate search for a way inside. To their dismay, almost every entrance was blocked by yet another flock of zombies. With no apparent way in, there was only one other tactic left to resort to: escape.
"Quick! The golf cart!" Dipper led the way to the cart first, hoping they could use it to outrun the horde. Before they could even get close, however, another group of zombies pounced on it, knocking it onto its side. "Oh come on!"
"Hoo, that's a bummer," Soos piped up from somewhere in the zombie pack. "Good news for me though."
"Soos!" Dipper scolded, annoyed.
"Sorry, dude, I just really want those brains!"
Once more, the kids found themselves pressed against the shack. Any entrance was far too out of reach, as was any real means of defending themselves. "What do we do now?!" Mabel anxiously asked.
"Uh… maybe I can try summoning my shield?" Steven suggested. "Come on! We could really use you right about now!" He pulled his shirt up, practically begging his gem to work. But of course, right when they needed its power most, it stubbornly refused to respond. Just like always, it seemed.
"Stay back!" Dipper shouted at the zombies as he threw the nearest thing on hand. The tiny disco ball went flying into the mouth of one of the zombies, which swallowed it whole. Trapped inside of its exposed stomach, the ball colorfully shined from inside of its ribcage, casting the rest of the horde in a sharp, garish sort of light.
"Give it up, dudes!" Soos encouraged, leading the pack. "Your fighting only makes us look more rad!"
"Oh man, it's like things just keep going from bad to worse tonight!" Steven cried as he and the twins huddled in close.
"W-what happened to the Gems?" Mabel glanced around for any sign of help, finding none. "And where's Grunkle Stan?"
"How's he supposed to help?" Dipper bitterly scoffed. "He doesn't even believe in the supernatural!"
Or at the very least, that's what Stan claimed.
Because at that very moment, deep beneath the Mystery Shack and far out of the chaos of what was happening around it, sat Stan. He'd taken to the basement awhile ago, if only to do what he could to keep his work hidden from those bothersome agents and his even more bothersome nephew. Even now, he was still fuming about it all–only less at Dipper and more at himself.
He hated that it had to be like this. While he was a regular pro at lying and sneaking around, to do it with his own family like this, for so long? It made him feel guilty in a way he couldn't shove out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. It might've been a little easier if the twins weren't so smart, but the problem was they were , especially Dipper. Not only was he smart, he was determined, dangerously so, to get the answers he was after.
Just like someone else Stan used to know.
"Those agents could ruin everything," he muttered as he flipped through the first journal. "Darn kid! He has no idea what he's messing with. He's stubborn, that's his problem." Stan paused as he closed the journal, catching his own reflection on the golden six-fingered hand on its cover. "Sorta like me, I suppose…"
Another troubling thought, one that Stan swiftly forced out of his mind. Because watching Dipper–or Mabel for that matter–turning out like him, like either of them? It was unthinkable.
"Ugh, I've got too much on my mind to worry about those kids right now." Stan sat the journal down in favor of focusing on the machine. As daunting of a task as it was, it was far less stressful than thinking about anything else right now. Especially the twins. "Now, let's see here…"
Above ground, zombies were still swarming around the shack from seemingly every side. They continued to pose a problem for Steven, Dipper, and Mabel, as they struggled to find a way to slip inside. All while struggling to not get caught and killed in the process.
When one of the zombies reached for her, Mabel whacked it away with the only thing she had on hand: the karaoke machine. "Take that, suckah!" she shouted, plowing the machine straight into the corpse's head and sending it flying. "Huh, this thing's a surprisingly good weapon!"
Still, the zombies kept on coming, with two more always seeming to show up to take the place of any of their fallen kin. With the path to the door finally clear, the kids charged for it–only for it to swing open right before they could reach it. They shared a startled cry as they fell onto each other just shy of the door, glancing up to see who had opened it for them.
"Kids?" Greg frowned down at them. "What's going on?"
"Dad!" Steven hurried to his feet before helping the twins up. "No time to explain! We gotta get inside, now!"
Before Greg even had a chance to ask, the kids pushed past him into the shack, slamming the door and locking it tightly behind them. "Quick! We need to board up all the windows!" Dipper shouted, already searching for supplies to do exactly that.
"W-what for?!" Greg asked, alarmed.
"K, so long story short, there's like a ton of zombies out there," Mabel quickly explained. . "So we're hiding out in here, trying not to get eaten by them. You know, normal party stuff."
"Z-Zombies?!" Greg started, frightened. "I'm in the bathroom for what, five minutes, and suddenly there are zombies running around? Where are the-"
He didn't get a chance to finish before the door suddenly slammed open, its locks broken through. At first, everyone fearfully thought the zombies had already made it in. Thankfully, it turned out to only be the Gems instead. They quickly closed the door behind them, once again locking it up as they leaned their full weight against it for good measure. As exhausted and beleaguered as they were after the battle they'd just been through, it was all they could do to give themselves a much-needed rest.
"Guys!" Steven ran over to them. The obvious bites they sported on their skin was more than enough to make him worry, but unlike Soos, they didn't seem to be suffering any ill-effects from them. Not that any of them got much comfort out of that in light of everything else.
"There's too many of them," Garnet reported, shifting her cracked shades. "Even for us."
"We barely made it in here alive!" Pearl shook her head. "These zombies are so much more aggressive than the ones we've dealt with in the past!"
"And they just don't know when to quit either!" Amethyst shoved a plank of wood in front of one of the windows to keep the zombies out. "They're easy to beat, but so dang hard to get rid of!"
"S-so what do we do?" Dipper asked, hoping that the Gems would have some kind of solution. And yet, as they exchanged a terse, uncertain glance, it became clear that they didn't.
There was no time to think of anything either. The zombies suddenly managed to crash through one of the barred off windows, giving them an open way inside. "Hey, dudes!" Soos brightly greeted as he leaned into the window. "By the way, I taught the zombies how to get into the fuse box. To these dudes, I'm like, a genius or something! Get those brains, dawgs!"
No more than a second later, the power starkly shut off, plunging everyone inside into near-total darkness. Still, the Gems summoned their weapons, knowing they had to do whatever they could to protect the kids and Greg. Even if they could barely protect themselves.
"Stay strong," Garnet commanded, her fists tight as the zombies lurched towards them. "And if we go down… we go down fighting!"
"Right!" Amethyst and Pearl agreed as yet another violent scuffle began.
Meanwhile, Greg grabbed his guitar and urged the kids to follow him deeper into the shack, hoping to find some cover there. "This way!" he shoved the den door open, only to find a zombie standing right behind it. With a frightened shout, he swung his guitar at it, bashing the bones in its chest to pieces. Still, there were plenty more where that one came from to keep them from taking even another step forward.
"Dipper, isn't there something in the journal about defeating zombies?!" Mabel asked as they were all forced to crowd into a corner.
"No!" Dipper frantically flipped through the book for what felt like the hundredth time tonight alone. "There's nothing in here about their weaknesses!"
"S-so is this…?" Steven trailed off, pressing against his father for support.
"I… I think so…" Dipper shut the journal, guilt sweeping through him. Guilt that only mounted as more zombies continued pouring into the shack, as the Gem tried and failed to fight them off, as his friends, his sister , cowered in fear for their very lives. "This can't be happening…" he shook his head. "I wanted answers so bad that I put everyone in danger. Now we're toast, it's all my fault, and no one can save us!"
He'd barely finished speaking when a grisled, bony hand suddenly latched tightly around his arm. Dipper didn't even hear Steven and Mabel shouting for him as the zombie hoisted him up into the air, drawing him ever closer to its wide, salivating maw.
"Whoa! H-hold on!" Greg drew his guitar back to swing. "I've got-" He stopped short as another zombie latched onto his instrument-turned-weapon, nearly prying it out of his grip altogether. "Hey! Greg shouted, desperately trying to take it back before it was too late. "Let go of that!"
Try as they might to pull Dipper back to safety themselves, the zombie's hold on him was much too strong for either Steven or Mabel to break. Even Dipper's own thrashing and kicking proved useless against the inevitable. Against the dark, dreadful fate he had no one to blame for but himself. "Steven! Mabel! I-I'm sorry!" he managed to get out in what he knew would be his final seconds.
Except… they weren't. Because just before the zombie could clamp its jaw on his shoulder, nothing short of a miracle happened.
Out of nowhere, something slammed into the back of the zombie's head hard . As its skull fell to the floor, its grip on Dipper loosened, allowing him to fall to the ground, largely unscathed. He barely had a chance to glance up when he saw the zombie's head shatter under Stan's foot.
He stood firm, his fez missing, his suit torn, and a bloodied baseball bat slung over his shoulder as he fiercely glared down at the kids, sharply ordering, "You two! Attic! NOW!"
"Grunkle Stan…?" Dipper asked in breathless disbelief. Stan, however, was having none of it as the zombies began crowding back in.
"I said NOW!" he barked, pointing to the stairs. "Same goes for you two!" he yelled at Greg and Steven. No one bothered arguing with him as they rushed for the stairs, encountering a stray zombie or two along the way. Greg made quick work of them with his guitar, allowing them to escape to the relative safety of the attic as Stan stayed behind to help the Gems. Much to their bewilderment.
"What are you three looking at!?" Stan scowled at the Gems as he knocked another round of zombies back. "Haven't you ever seen a man beat a zombie's head in before?"
Despite their gawking, it only took a moment for them to pull themselves together again and get back into the fray. "Woo! Heck yeah, Stan!" Amethyst cheered as she jumped in alongside him. "Let's show these dead creeps who's boss!"
"We were just rescued, by Stan , of all people…" Pearl muttered, dumbfounded. "I can't believe it…"
"Believe it," Garnet returned, decking another zombie in the jaw. Pearl followed suit, shaking her awe away as she swung her spear at a group of incoming corpses.
"All right, you dead jerks," Stan snarled at the zombies surrounding him and Amethyst. "Are you ready to die twice?!"
"Yeah! Let's get 'em!" Amethyst lashed her whip out, sending several zombies flying.
Stan joined her, beating even more with his bat as the brawl moved into the living room. "The only wrinkly monster who harasses my family is me !" Stan shouted as he brutally kicked a zombie back. "And the Gems, every now and then."
"Hey!" Pearl protested.
"Behind you," Stan nodded at the zombie coming up right behind her. With a startled gasp, Pearl spun around and stabbed it straight through its chest.
"Dang, Stan! You are on fire tonight!" Amethyst hooted, excited.
Stan didn't bother responding as he swung for another zombie, only for the corpse to catch it and nearby bite it in half. Still, Stan came into this fight more than prepared. He abandoned his bat in favor of his brass knuckles, which he used to clock the zombie clean between the eyes. "Anyone else want a piece!?"
"Looks like they do," Garnet said. Despite their progress, the horde only continued to outnumber them, with even more spilling in through the front door now. "This way! Quick!" Garnet pointed to the stairs. The Gems followed her up toward the attic, and Stan trailed behind after sending the grandfather clock careering down the staircase into the undead crowd to buy them some time.
For their part, Greg and the kids had only just made it to the attic. They had no time to catch their breath, however, as someone started pounding on it. No doubt the zombies, arriving to finish them all off. "Stay behind me!" Greg warned the kids as he raised his guitar to strike. Fortunately, he didn't have to use it as Stan and the Gems were the ones who bursted into the room instead.
"Ugh, ow!" Stan coughed as he leaned against the door, exhausted. "Everything hurts."
"Bar the door," Garnet ordered, pushing him aside. Pearl jammed her spear against the door handle to keep any unwanted corpses from entering.
"Yeah, and put that thing down, Greg," Amethyst scoffed, eyeing Greg's guitar. "What, are we gonna defeat the zombies with the 'power of music' or something?"
"Hey, you can't blame me for being a little tense," Greg said, frowning. "We are dealing with actual flesh-eating zombies after all."
"Just like in the movies!" Steven exclaimed, hoping to lighten the mood. Given their grim circumstances, it didn't do much. "O-ok… so maybe not just like the movies…"
"Grunkle Stan, that was amazing!" Dipper exclaimed, initially impressed. Until he noticed just how battle-worn and weary his uncle truly looked. "Are you alright?" Stan only answered with a dry, withering look, one that all of the Gems shared as they looked to Dipper for an explanation he didn't really have. "Heh, w-well… at least you can't deny that magic exists anymore, right?"
In the beat of silence that followed, Stan had no choice but to avert his nephew's gaze as he quietly admitted, "Kid, I've always known."
"Wait… what are you talking about?" Dipper asked, taken aback.
"I'm not an idiot, Dipper!" Stan exclaimed. "Ofcourse this town is weird! And the one thing I know about that weirdness is it's dangerous!"
Before anyone could get another word out, a zombie's hand broke through the door, forcing everyone to move to the far side of the room. "And that danger is exactly what we've been trying to warn you kids about!" Pearl sternly agreed. "But did you listen to us? Of course not! Otherwise we wouldn't be surrounded by an untold amount of reanimated corpses right now!"
"Ok, I'll admit that what I did was really dumb," Dipper said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Really, really dumb," Mabel chimed in.
"Not helping!" Dipper shot his sister an aggravated look before turning to Stan. "But that still doesn't explain why you've been pretending like none of this stuff exists all summer!"
"Oh really? Because I think it's pretty obvious," Stan said. "I've been lying about it to try and keep you away from it. To protect you from it!" Another zombie broke through the window, though it didn't get far before Stan sent it plummeting to the ground far below. He stayed by the window, staring down at the mass of corpses set to overwhelm the shack–and all of them–in a matter of minutes. "Looks like I didn't lie well enough…"
"So… what now?" Greg pleadingly looked to the Gems. "You guys have a plan, right?"
The Gems could only look to each other, at a total loss. "We don't…" Garnet admitted, looking down. "Not this time."
"B-but we have to do something !" Steven urged. "We can't just let them climb up here and eat all our brains! I'm still using mine!"
"Well, normally the journal would help us," Dipper took the book out one last time. The page he'd read from to summon the zombies offered no answers. Or so it seemed. "But there's nothing in there about defeating zombies! It's hopeless!"
"Wait!" Mabel gasped as the journal happened to catch one of the black lights lying on the floor. "Look at the text! It's glowing in the black light!"
"What?" Dipper grabbed one of the lights, holding it over the book. Sure enough, when the neon struck its brittle pages, it illuminated countless notes and images he'd never even seen before. "No way!" Dipper exclaimed, awestruck. "All this time I thought I knew all the journal's secrets, but they were hidden in invisible ink this whole time!"
"Invisible ink…?" Stan muttered, his eyes widening. It was so simple, so obvious … how had he never thought of it before?
"Wow!" Steven grinned. "And just when I thought the journal couldn't get any cooler or more mysterious, it does! This is awesome!"
"Should we be concerned about this?" Pearl whispered to Garnet.
Garnet didn't answer, at least not until she punched another zombie who had made it to the window away. "We'll have plenty of time to be concerned about it later," she told Pearl. After all, there were much bigger problems on their hands right now.
It didn't take long for Dipper to find what he was looking for in the journal's previously-concealed notes. "This is it!" he exclaimed before reading it aloud to the others. "Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by the combination of a stringed instrument and a perfect several-part harmony."
"A stringed instrument, huh?" Greg grinned at his guitar. "What do you know? Looks like the power of music might just save the day after all."
"Yeah, but how do we create a several-part harmony?" Dipper wondered, looking over the journal once more. "I have a naturally high-pitched scream…?"
"I can make noises with my body," Stan offered. "Sometimes intentionally."
"Boys, boys," Mabel shook her head. "I think you're both missing the obvious solution here."
"Yeah! We gotta sing!" Steven exclaimed, stars in his eyes.
"Sing?" Everyone else shared a bewildered glance at such an outlandish idea.
"Uh, I don't think we've ever used singing to beat monsters before…" Amethyst frowned. "Most of the time we just beat them up till they go away. But since that isn't working for these guys…"
"I suppose we don't really have any other viable options…" Pearl mused. "But could something that simple really work?"
Garnet only shrugged as she nodded at the window, reminding everyone they had no time to lose. Whatever they were going to do, they needed to do it now. "It's worth a shot."
The number of zombies assaulting the shack–inside and out–was easily in the hundreds by now. They stormed the house, searching high and low for any potential victims. Only to find that those victims had already formulated a plan to stop them in their tracks.
The sudden screeching of a microphone drew the horde's attention, leading most of them back outside. On the roof awning high above them, the Pines and the Gems did what they could to get ready. Mabel made quick work of setting the karaoke machine up while Greg plugged an amp in and tuned his guitar.
"Ok, Pearl, it's 56383," Steven read the song number from the karaoke book.
"56383…" Pearl punched the number in again after several failed attempts already.
"Uh, sometime tonight, Pearl?" Stan urged, glancing down at their undead "audience".
"I'm trying!" Peal snapped. "Steven, are you sure that's the right number? I keep typing it in, but it won't play!"
"Oh, you need to hit start."
"...I see." As soon as she did, an upbeat pop track began playing. Greg quickly picked up on the tune, and it wasn't long before he was strumming along to it.
"Zombies and gentlemen!" Mabel shouted into her microphone. "I'm Mabel, they're Dipper, Stan, Steven, Mr. Universe, and the Crystal Gems, and together we're Love Patrol Alpha!"
"I never agreed to that name!" Dipper quickly clarified.
"Uh… kids? Our lives may not be worth this," Stan said, frowning.
"Stop whining," Garnet sternly countered. "Just sing."
"Hit it, Steven!" Mabel encouraged. And Steven was more than ready to belt the first words of the song out with plenty of bravado to spare.
"We can't help it if we make a scene," he began, proudly strutting across the makeshift stage. "On Friday night in our hot pink limousine…"
"Partying till dawn," Dipper picked up where Steven left off, albeit much less confidently. "Got my favorite dress on?! You guys, this is stupid!" he huffed, embarrassed. Even so, Steven and Mabel hardly cared; they were already having the time of their lives, even despite the deadly threat just a few feet below them.
"We're rolling to the party, turning heads, stopping traffic," Mabel sang, swaying to the beat. "I just keep dancing, posing, joking, laughing-"
She cut herself with a scream as a zombie made it up to them, lashing out at her with a fearsome hiss. Right before it could reach her, Stan kicked it off the awning, letting it crash back down to the ground below. Even so, it was just the reminder they all needed: like it or not, their lives depended on this performance. "Guys!" Mabel turned to the others. "We have to sing together or it won't work!"
"Way ahead of you!" Amethyst grinned as she boldly took the next verse. "I've got a pair of eyes that they're getting lost in!" She smirked as she playfully bumped into Pearl, prompting her to sing along with her.
"Who cares what they say? We keep on walking," they harmonized before Stan begrudgingly joined them.
"The boys are dazzled but they're all just bores," he sang, wincing at both the words and his own gravelly voice singing them.
Fortunately, Garnet continued on after him, clear and smooth. "When I point, they look–just show them the door!" She motioned for everyone to gather around her as Greg strummed even louder when the chorus arrived.
"Ohhh, haven't you noticed, girls are what we are?" They all sang together, harmonizing as much as they were able. As their voices combined, a ripple of pained screams shot out from the zombies blow. The effect was already immediate, as several of their heads exploded, unable to handle the music flowing through them. It was an encouraging sight, one that gave them all just a little hope about their chances as they continued. "Ohhh, we're taking over the stars! Ohhh, haven't you noticed we made it this far? Ohhh, girls are what we are!"
As the song reached a break, Greg played a powerful riff on his guitar, grinning as he watched even more zombies go down during it. Everyone else shared his smile, each of them proudly part of this performance now as it only continued to gain momentum from there.
"Oh, everybody needs a friend," Steven, Dipper, and Mabel sang together.
"And I've got you, and you, and you," the Gems twirled, playfully pointing to the kids.
"So many, I can't even name them-" Stan and Greg continued the buildup before everyone enthusiastically joined in.
"We're queens of the disco! We're too famous!"
With all the fun they were having, none of them were paying the zombies too much mind now. Not that they even needed to; their tune caused wave upon wave of corpses to collapse, their skulls shattering, bones breaking, tides turning against them. And all the while, one strong, happy harmony rang out through the night, overcoming the undead army that nearly destroyed them all.
"Ohhh, haven't you noticed girls are what we are?"
"Ohhh, we're taking over the stars!"
"Ohhh, we're coming into view as the world is turning!"
"Ohhh, we've made it this far!"
Still, some zombies managed to make it through most of the melody. One of them heaved itself onto the roof, catching Steven and Dipper off guard as it towered over them, ready to attack. At least until a burst from Mabel's confetti cannon sent it flying just as they all came together for the song's big finish.
"Now everyone can see us burning!" the adults began before handing the next line off to the kids.
"Now everyone can see us burning!" they sang, bringing everyone back in for one final, triumphant line.
"Now everyone can see us burning!"
With one final guitar riff from Greg, the song reached a satisfying end. In its wake, the now-silent air filled with cheers and laughter just as the sun started rising over the Mystery Shack. "Thank you!" Mabel blew a kiss to the yard, now strewn with unmoving zombie parts. "We'll be here all night!"
"Deal with it, zombie idiots!" Stan laughed.
"We're all karaoke beasts!" Amethyst howled, pumping her fists.
"I have to give you some credit, Greg," Pearl offered him a small, genuine smile. "You really came through for us with that guitar of yours."
"So, thank you," Garnet nodded, just as sincere.
"Aw… well…" Greg blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "You're welcome. That really means a lot coming from you guys. You know, I-"
He stopped short as the karaoke machine suddenly started playing the song all over again from the very beginning. "Uh, Pearl?" Dipper asked, frowning. "Exactly how many times did you enter the song before hitting start?"
"Probably about 15 times," Pearl replied. Even so, Steven and Mabel shared a delighted gasp, already leaping at the chance for even more karaoke fun with their families and friends. Especially now that their lives no longer depended on it.
"Encore!"
After about five or so repeat performances, the Gems fanned out through the shack's property, checking for any last straggling zombies. Once they confirmed the coast was clear, the Pines and the Universes came down to inspect the mess for themselves. Needless to say, the shack was a wreck, with the withered bodies of the decaying dead laying battered and broken at nearly every step.
Inside the shack, things weren't much better. Furniture had been overturned, windows broken, doors busted in. And yet, for as horrific as the entire onslaught had been, everyone was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief that they'd managed to make it through it alive.
Still, that didn't mean it was all over quite yet.
"I'm really sorry about this, guys," Dipper sighed as they all surveyed the damage in the den. "I totally ruined everything."
"Dipper, are you kidding me?" Mabel cut in, grinning. "I got to sing karaoke with some of my favorite people in the world! No party could ever top that!"
"Yeah!" Steven warmly agreed. "That was seriously the funnest life-threatening situation we've ever been in. And I think we've been in enough life-threatening situations to know."
"Still…" Pearl piped up. By now, all three of the Gems were fixing Dipper with an equally disappointed look. After everything that happened last night, he couldn't say he didn't deserve it. "I do happen to recall a certain someone telling us that he would be "super careful" with a certain journal… Don't you, Dipper?"
"Right…" Dipper looked away, rubbing his arm. "I guess I sort of broke that one, didn't I?"
"Sorta?" Amethyst scoffed. "Dude, you summoned a whole army of zombies."
"Ok, I get it, you guys are mad," Dipper said, still averting their gazes out of shame. "Which is understandable. But… you're not gonna make me hand over the journal or anything, are you?"
The Gems exchanged a glance, their expressions hard at first, though they soon began to slowly soften. "We can't very well do that," Garnet admitted. "After all, we already told you that you could keep it. But we do expect you to start using more responsibly from here on out."
"Well, after what just happened, I don't think you'll have to worry about that," Dipper said with a small, relieved smile.
"We'd better not," Garnet advised. "But in the end, whether or not you get to keep that journal isn't our call. It's Stan's."
As surprised as Stan was to hear this, he still met his nephew's pleading gaze evenly. "Kid, listen," he began with a tired sigh. "This town is crazy . And if you wanna know exactly how crazy, just ask the Gems, 'cause they've been here way longer than I have. But still, you need to be careful. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold onto that spooky journal, as long as you promise me that you'll only use it for self-defense and not go looking for trouble."
"Okay…" Dipper tentatively agreed. "But as long as you promise me that you don't have any other bombshell secrets about this town."
Stan set his jaw, a knot already forming in his gut over the lie he knew he'd have to tell. Still, he nodded, even if he was crossing his fingers behind his back when he said, "Promise."
"Promise," Dipper said, doing the exact same.
With all this talk of promises, Steven couldn't help but frown as he stole a glance over at the Gems. He still felt like they were keeping something from him, something big, even after they'd promised to be more open, more honest. Whatever it was, they hadn't wanted the agents knowing about it–or anyone else for that matter. It had to go beyond their unearthly origins; this went deeper, somewhere far beyond even that. And while Steven desperately wanted to know what it was, he knew he wasn't ready to pose that question to the Gems. At least, not yet.
"Yikes, we have got a lot of damage to clean up," Stan glanced around the ruined living room. "Where's my handyman anyway?"
As if on cue, Soos wandered into the room, still zombified as he let out a ravenous groan. "Brains…. Braaains…"
"Holy Moses!" Stan grabbed a chair, ready to launch it at a moment's notice.
"Aw, geez! Another one?!" Amethyst asked as all three of the Gems pulled their weapons out.
"No wait!" Steven cut in before they could attack. "It's just Soos!"
"Oh…" Stan and the Gems eased up, despite their shared confusion.
"Good thing there's a page in here about curing zombification," Dipper pulled the journal out again. "It's gonna take a lot of formaldehyde."
"Ooh, and cinnamon!" Mabel exclaimed, reading over her brother's shoulder.
"Come on, Soos, let's fix you up," Dipper used the chair Stan had dropped to prod Soos into the kitchen.
"Brains… Brains…" Soos groaned, still trying to reach the kids. Not that any of them were genuinely afraid of him.
"Soos, cut it out!" Mabel scolded.
"Yeah, everybody knows it's super rude to try and eat peoples' brains," Steven added, smirking.
"Heh, sorry dudes!" Soos chuckled, unable to resist his zombie instincts.
As the others headed into the kitchen, Dipper slowly followed. He couldn't help but smile as he pulled a black light out to get a better look at the journals' hidden entries. "I can't believe it!" he exclaimed, glancing over the invisible passages, each one more interesting than the last. "All this time the author's secrets were hiding in plain sight! A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore…"
As dawn rose over the forest, a quiet calm had fallen over the trees in the aftermath of the zombie attack. That stillness only lasted for a moment, before two disheveled, exhausted figures pulled themselves out of the fissure the zombies had come from. Fortunately, they weren't corpses, though after everything they'd been through last night, they'd gotten dangerously close to becoming ones more times than they could count.
"That was insane!" Trigger brushed the filth off his suit as he rose to stand. "I've never seen anything like this! Zombies, aliens, magical books! Who do we even report to?"
Powers' was unmoved as he pulled the skull attached to his suit coat off, watching as it crumbled to dust in his hand. "This is bigger than we imagined," he said with cold resolve. "We need to bring in the big guns."
"But they'll never believe us!"
"Then we'll make them believe us," Powers asserted. He narrowed his eyes as he set his sights on the Gem temple, just past the trees. Much like the quiet, impossible little town it sat within, clearly, there was far more to it–and these so-called "Crystal Gems"--than met the eye. "This is the town we've been looking for."