Four months had passed, and there had been no sign of Renee anywhere.
Rosaline had imagined what it would feel like to see her sister again, but her imagination failed her every single time.
Would she be angry? Would she cry? Would she hug her and pretend nothing had happened? Or would she demand answers to all the questions that had plagued her for months?
She had no idea.
In just a few months, she'd gained so much, but she'd also lost a lot.
They'd named their daughter Layan, but Shaan preferred to call her Lulu, and eventually, everyone else followed suit.
Kenneth had finally tied the knot with Jessica. As much as Rosaline enjoyed having her siblings around, she wasn't particularly fond of the fact that they lived so close to her and Rudy still kept his occupation a secret from them.
Apparently, being related to her gave them unlimited access to her home.
Zoe and Jordan had been a tremendous help with Kayid and Layan, though. Between the two of them, Rosaline barely had to worry about the children whenever she needed a little time to herself.
Not that she ever got enough of it.
Gina and Jonathan had eventually left Ohio and moved in with her parents, much to Rosaline's relief. She loved having her other pair of parents around, but she also knew that they needed to enjoy their retirement without constantly worrying about their grown children.
Nara had finally opened her perfume store, and business seemed to be going well.
However, she still found time to stop by Rosaline's house to " check in" on her and the children.
Rosaline suspected it had very little to do with her actual well-being and everything to do with their hunky neighbour, Davon. Nara, of course, denied this vehemently.
Apparently, she just happened to be in the neighbourhood every other day.
Right.
As for Nolan, he'd decided to join the army.
Nobody quite understood why he'd made that decision, but they'd respected it nonetheless. Perhaps he needed a fresh start. Perhaps he wanted to do something meaningful with his life.
Whatever his reasons, Rosaline hoped he'd find what he was looking for.
Then there was Noah.
Shaan had been worried that Noah might not want to remain friends with him, especially considering everything that had happened. Rosaline, however, was glad they'd managed to move past the awkwardness.
They were back to being best friends and business partners, much to Shaan's relief.
Rosaline couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been for Noah to watch the woman he'd once loved marry his best friend. She'd never known about his feelings until much later, and by then, there was nothing either of them could do about it.
She was simply glad that Noah hadn't allowed the situation to destroy his friendship with Shaan.
Besides, she had a feeling that her husband would have been absolutely insufferable if he'd lost his best friend over her.
Not that she would ever tell him that.
Abeer was living her best life in college, Majed couldn't wait to get enough of his annoying older sister. Noura decided to focus on her podcast lover,Uncle Primm-- they travelled from country to country. Rosaline could understand that Shaan was like a father to his siblings but him also being a father to his mother... wasn't something she could understand.
Rosaline smiled at the memory of nights he'd be pacing across their bedroom, phone glued to his ear like an extension of his body, trying to reach his mother in Bali.
Jolting her back to reality, a toothless mouth clamped around her nipple.
The sudden pressure sent a sharp signal to her brain.
"Lulu! I'm going to tattle on you to your father!"
Layan released her with a satisfied little grin, apparently pleased with herself.
The girl was downright mischievous.
"Why'd you stop?" Keisha's bubbly voice came from the other end of the line. "I'm listening!"
Rosaline stared at the phone in disbelief.
"Did you just ignore everything I said?"
"Obviously. Now, continue."
Rosaline rolled her eyes.
Keisha was over the moon about her pregnancy. Jamari was probably the happiest man alive, and her sister had taken to calling Rosaline for advice on how to be a healthy pregnant woman.
Rosaline was happy to help, of course.
What she couldn't understand was why Keisha felt the need to call her every single time the baby kicked or moved.
As though Rosaline could somehow feel it through the phone.
"Mamamama!"
Kayid tugged at the hem of her dress, trying to get her attention. David stood beside him, copying his every move.
Zoe and Richie were busy rebranding their fashion line, they had left David in her care. She and Jordan were supposed to babysit David but Jordan hadn't arrived yet.
"Is that Kayid?" Keisha squealed. "Hiiiiiiii!"
Rosaline rolled her eyes, balancing Layan with one arm as she prepared cereal for the two boys.
"Can I call you back? Maybe we can talk properly tonight."
"Okay! Love you, girl!"
"Love you too."She hung up.
Keisha's bubbly voice kept ringing her ear, everyone seemed happier. Like there was nothing wrong. They had simply moved on.
Or was she just the one stuck in the past?
Why did it feel as though she was the only one who still remembered Renee?
The front door opened and closed.
"Shaan?" she called.
"I'm here!" He responded from the living room.
Rosaline stepped out of the dining area.
Shaan stood near the entrance, and someone was standing behind him.
Renee. A wave of anger and relief washed over Rosaline.
Thank you, Lord.
Her sister looked exhausted, her eyes red and teary. Rosaline stared at her, fighting the urge to run into her arms.
Shaan gently took Layan from her and led Kayid and David towards the kitchen, leaving the sisters alone.
"I... I'm sorry," Renee whispered. "I didn't know how to explain myself. I have no excuse." She paused as though she was lost in thoughts. " Please, say something."
Rosaline swallowed.
"Where have you been, Renee?"
Renee lowered her head. "I was ashamed. I couldn't face any of you."
"So you decided to disappear for four months?"
"I know I was wrong."
"Do you have any idea how many times I wondered whether you were dead?" Rosaline's voice cracked. "We were all worried sick!"
"I'm sorry."
"Stop saying that!"Tears gathered in Rosaline's eyes.
"I missed you so much, Renee. And I hated you for making me miss you."
Renee broke down.
"I'm so sorry, Rosa."
Rosaline wanted to stay angry. She wanted to demand answers and make her sister understand how much she'd hurt them.
But she couldn't ignore the overwhelming relief of having her back.
"Are you okay?" she asked quietly.
Renee shook her head.
"No."
Rosaline sighed and pulled her into an embrace....It wasn't forgiveness. Not yet.
But it was a start.
"I'm still angry with you," Rosaline whispered.
"I know."
"You need to explain yourself to Mom and Dad. And Noah."
Renee stiffened at the last name.
"I don't expect him to forgive me."
"That's between you and him. But you can't keep running away from the people you've hurt."
Renee nodded against her shoulder.
"I won't."
Rosaline hoped she meant it.
The doorbell rang. Renee immediately stiffened, her fingers tightening around the mug in her hands.
"It's Noah," Shaan came out to inform them, he'd called him immediately he left them to talk.
Renee swallowed.
"Does he know I'm here?"
"He does" Shaan replied.
Rosaline answered the door, Noah walked into the living room.
He stopped the moment he saw her.
For several seconds, neither of them spoke.
Renee lowered her eyes, unable to meet his gaze.
"Noah, I—"
"Don't." His voice was quiet, but firm. "Not yet."
She closed her mouth.
He looked at her for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then he turned to Shaan.
"Can we have a minute?"
Shaan nodded and motioned for Rosaline to follow him.
As they headed towards the kitchen, Rosaline glanced back at her sister.
Renee looked terrified.
For once, Rosaline didn't know whether to feel sorry for her or remind her that she'd brought this upon herself.
Perhaps both.
A few minutes later, Noah and Renee emerged from the living room.
Noah looked as though he'd aged several years in the time she'd been gone. Renee, on the other hand, looked like she might burst into tears again at any moment.
"I'm going with him," she told Rosaline quietly.
Rosaline studied her face.
"Are you sure?"
Renee nodded.
"Alright,take care of yourself" She turned to face Noah "You too"
He gave a faint smile.
Rosaline watched as Noah led Renee towards the door. Just before stepping outside, Renee turned around.
"I'm sorry, Rosa."
Rosaline gave her a small nod.
__
Later that evening, Rosaline stood in the nursery, watching Shaan rock Lulu gently in his arms.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Confused. Angry. Relieved. All at once."
He wrapped an arm around her.
"You don't have to figure everything out tonight."
Rosaline rested her head against his shoulder.
"I'm glad she's home."
"Me too."
"Where'd you find her?"
"I didn't,she came to the office"
"Oh"
Rosaline looked down at their daughter, then smiled faintly. Things would never be the same between her and Renee. It could never, for the sake of her family and happiness, Rosaline decided it was better to let go.
**. **. **.
The drive was quiet.
Renee had assumed Noah was taking her to his house, but she wasn't entirely sure. She hadn't asked, and he hadn't offered an explanation.
A strange atmosphere settled inside the car, serene yet heavy enough to make her uncomfortable. The only sounds were the low hum of the engine and the occasional rustle of her clothes as she shifted in her seat.
She glanced at Noah.
His eyes remained fixed on the road, his expression unreadable. He looked neither angry nor particularly sad. If anything, he seemed completely detached, as though he'd locked every emotion away somewhere she couldn't reach.
Renee couldn't tell if he was still upset with her or if he'd simply grown too numb to feel anything at all.
Somehow, the latter frightened her more.
She turned towards the window, watching the familiar streets pass by.
Four months ago, she'd known everything about this man. She knew how his face changed when he was annoyed, how he went quiet when something bothered him, and how he always found a way to make her laugh when she was upset.
Now, she wasn't even sure what his silence meant.
And she had no one to blame but herself.
They finally reached the destination he led her to.
"Where is this?" She finally asked.
"My place" He locked the car and casually walked past her.
She followed quietly.
They got in, he gestured for her to sit then offered her a glass of water.
Silence settled between them.
For a while, neither of them spoke.
Noah stood with his hands in his pockets, staring at the woman who had vanished from his life four months ago without so much as a proper goodbye.
Renee looked down at her fingers.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
Noah let out a humourless laugh. "You said that already."
"I know." She lowered her gaze.
"Then what exactly am I supposed to do with your apology, Renee?" His voice wasn't loud, but the hurt in it made her chest tighten. "Frame it? Put it somewhere safe? Because I spent four months wondering what I'd done wrong."
Her eyes filled with tears.
"You did nothing wrong."
"Then why did you leave?"
She opened her mouth, but no words came out.
Noah shook his head. "We were supposed to get married, Renee. I was planning a life with you. And one day, you decided you couldn't do it anymore. You called off the wedding, and then you disappeared. No explanation. No goodbye. Nothing."
"I was ashamed."
"Of what?"
"Of myself. Of what I'd done. Of what I was feeling." She wiped her cheeks. "I didn't know how to face you. Every time I thought about coming back, I imagined the look on your face. I couldn't bear it."
"So you decided it was better to leave me wondering whether you were even alive?"
"No!" She looked up sharply. "I never wanted to hurt you."
"But you did."
The words hung between them.
Renee lowered her head again. "I know."
Noah turned away, dragging a hand over his face. He had imagined this moment so many times. In some versions, he shouted at her. In others, he demanded answers until she had nothing left to say.
But now that she was standing in front of him, all he felt was exhausted.
"I loved you," he said quietly. "I really did, Renee."
Her lips trembled.
"And the worst part?" He looked at her again. "I don't even know when I stopped being someone you could talk to."
"You were always that person."
"Then you should have talked to me!"
His voice cracked at the last word, and Renee broke down completely.
"I know! I know, and I'm sorry!" She pressed a hand over her mouth, struggling to catch her breath. "I was scared, Noah. I didn't know what I wanted anymore, and I hated myself for it. I thought if I stayed, I'd end up marrying you when I wasn't sure I could give you the love you deserved."
"So you made the decision for both of us."
"I thought I was doing the right thing."
"You thought disappearing was the right thing?"
"No." She shook her head. "I was wrong."
For the first time, Noah had no immediate response.
Renee took a shaky breath.
"I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't even know if I deserve another chance. I just couldn't keep hiding from everyone, especially you."
He studied her face. She looked tired, and the confidence she once carried so effortlessly seemed to have disappeared.
"Do you still love me?" he asked.
Renee froze.
It was the one question she had dreaded most.
"I don't know how to answer that."
Noah's jaw tightened, but he nodded slowly, as though he'd expected it.
"Then don't."
"Noah—"
"I can't keep waiting for you to figure out what you want while I put my life on hold." He paused. "I care about you, Renee. That hasn't magically disappeared just because you hurt me. But I can't promise you that things will go back to the way they were."
"I understand."
"Do you?" His gaze held hers.
She took a deep breath, she didn't want to hurt him further.
"I never loved you enough to want to spend the rest of my life with you" She paused " i did love you, you are my only right, my trophy,my way of proving i was better " She chuckled dryly " But you stopped being enough for me and i hated the light in your eyes that didn't shine for me alone. I took out my anger on my sister, my mistake made me realize that i was part of something bigger than myself. I've spent the past four months wondering how much i must've hated myself,how trapped i was in a cycle i created myself. I love you , i really do.....i still do. But i can't let you suffer with me" She dropped the glass cup on the table before her.
"I'm sorry." She said and turned to leave.
She prayed with everything inside her, that he'd stop her and tell her that it didn't matter,that what she'd done was forgiven.
But he didn't.
What a selifish woman she'd become.
Instead of calling a cab, she walked as far as her leg could take her.
__
Noah watched her leave, what she'd done to him was nothing compared to what he did to Rosaline. Maybe that's why he was so upset.
He sighed.
Noah grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured himself a full glass ,then chugged it....one thing was clear to him.
He still loved her.
But she wasn't the only one who needed fixing.