Hey, Kid.
Hey, Folks.
How have you been?
Good, I hope.
Have you ever had a friend that you've known for a very long time who you really, really, really, really, really just want to sleep with?
Like, you see them and you think: "Just let me taste..."
...
... ...
... ... ...
No?
Just me?
Oh...
Well then...
I suppose I should keep that story in my head.
That is what I call a forbidden fruit, lmao.
That one person who you will most likely never encounter in that way outside of your dreams.
I believe we all have that, and that's okay.
Maybe we need that fantasy in the back of our minds.
That dirty little thought.
That freaky little secret.
Hey, don't look at me that way, ALL of us have pictured someone naked before, hell, I am willing to bet that many of you have someone naked in mind right now who lives there rent-free, lol.
Bah.
Don't lie.
I hope that this newest entry finds you and all of your dirty minds well!
Let's go see what Young me was getting into, yeah?
(Eye-balls several hundred buttons that I could have sworn were not here on this overly-complicated dashboard of mine...whelp, let's see what this one do---)
*soft, wet, barely audible pop-
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February 24th. 2020.
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So, I kinda like the name: Mixi.
I can only assume you are mixed, lol
(And a girl.)
I know it seems simple, but simple is good.
One less thing you have to worry about being difficult in your life, huh?
I think I'm depressed...
I've been so down.
So drained.
I don't seem to fully enjoy my friend's company, games, books...
Things I typically enjoy... and becoming gray...
Love is hard when you are in it alone.
Or at least when it feels that way.
I don't ever want you to feel that kind of pain.
But odds are...
You will.
One day.
All I hope is that I am here for you (alive, that is).
Know when to walk away/
There is nothing wrong with knowing when it's time to let go of someone and keep your own life moving.
Above all else.
Remember that, Kid.
-Dad.
-----
Hmm.
You know something? I really did (and still do) like the name Mixi.
I can't say that society would be happy with her being named thus (in part) due to her being a "Mixed blood" individual, lmao.
But hey, who cares?
Who the hell dictates what we can and can't name our children, and why?
Who, I say!?
What if I named my child Nehguh?
(Pronounced just how you think!)
Huh?
So that EVERYONE would have to say it when they met him/her/them, lmao.
Go ahead, you can say it.
*Stares on awkwardly.
LMFAO.
See?
Mixi isn't so bad now, is it?
I have met people with FAR worse names!
Like...
Carl!
Georgena!
Hell, I met a kid named Infidel...
I kid you not, Folks.
I am just going to assume that either one or both of his parents really liked that word, and had no idea what it meant, or they were both just a big, burnt, bumbling, bag of boiled and blistering baboon bootyhole rings, because that is one horrible name to tack on a child.
-I was definitely depressed and quite miserable in my relationship.
I hated going home after work,
I hated having to guess her mood day-to-day.
I hated feeling like nothing I did was ever good enough.
I was definitely in love alone.
She didn't and couldn't love me how I loved her.
How ironic that I sat and wrote down advice that warned a future child about everything that I was going through, just to ignore the same advice that could have saved me a shit-ton of pain, time, trauma, and so much more.
Such as it is to be human, yeah?
We live just and only to learn, and what have we without that?
The key is to learn, you know?
Don't let someone's love be a cage for you.
I ignored myself for at least three more years after that journal entry, and I wish that I hadn't, but I also am one who believes that everything happens for a reason, good and bad.
I went through everything that my CHOICES saw me go through.
Sometimes life is nothing but what we make of it.
Please, Kid, Folks, make the best of it.
Spend a few bucks on that thing that makes you happy.
Go to that store you've been eyeing.
Try that new dish.
Order that purchase that has been in your cart for nearly two years.
Life is far too short, and 100 years is not nearly as long as you would imagine it to be.
-I hope that you fall in love and never fall out of it, lmao.
That would be ideal.
Just...
Love carefully, and with pure intentions.
That is the best I can do for you when it comes to love.
That is what I did, and will always do.
-I did take my own advice eventually, but it came down to me NEEDING to let go versus me WANTING to.
Had I stayed any longer, I would have simply killed myself. That may sound a bit rash, and I know I've said it before, but I mean it.
I was so very unhappy... and feeling like I was not only stuck with her, but useless and not worthy of anyone else's love, just made that lack of happiness more profound.
There is not an ice cube's chance in hell that she is your mother, Kid.
I am not one to entertain or sleep with my exes.
I don't even maintain contact unless it was a civil split; I burn the bridge.
All of it.
Then I gather the ashes, mix them with gasoline, and burn that as well.
Who your mom is?
I have no idea at this point.
-I am 36 years old, and two months from 37.
I doubt I will have a child.
I don't mean to give up on you, Kid...
But I would have to be sleeping with someone who CAN have kids, or know someone who would be willing and able to carry you as a surrogate.
Hmm.
I will leave you all at that, and I hope to see you all back here soon enough.
You be safe out there, Kid.
You as well, Folks.
And if you get a chance to sleep with that super sexy ass friend?
DO IT!
AND MAKE IT THE BEST THAT HE/SHE/THEY'VE EVER HAD AND EVER WILL HAVE!
Life is far too short to miss out on these opportunities.
Have fun.
Safely, of course.
Just have fun.
The last thing you want is to grow old while filled with regrets; you will only become heavier and heavier.
Let things go.
Lick that vagina.
Suck that dick.
Maybe eat a little ass even, who knows, I don't judge!
Live a little!
LMAO!
See you soon, Kid.
If you haven't disowned me, lmao.
Safe travels, yeah?
And as always:
Stay safe.
Stay healthy.
Stay vigilant.
-Redd.