Morning came before Noir felt ready for it.
He'd spent the night clutching the crimson fabric, drifting between sleep and nightmares. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw his mother's face. Every time he woke, the fabric was still there, its silver threads pulsing softly in the darkness.
The warmth never faded.
Piers was already awake, preparing for the day. He noticed the dark circles under Noir's eyes and the way his hands trembled slightly, but he didn't comment. Instead, he simply set out fresh clothes and moved quietly about the room, giving Noir space while maintaining presence.
A careful balance. Noir appreciated it more than he could articulate.
They walked to the training grounds together in silence.
Shin Jin was waiting alone, his expression grave.
"Soo Ah is on a reconnaissance mission," he said without preamble. "Piers, I need you to help with the younger trainees. Noir, you're with me."
Piers glanced at Noir, reading the tension in his shoulders, the set of his jaw. He didn't ask questions. He simply nodded and left, but not before his blue eyes met Noir's for a moment—a silent acknowledgment that said: I see this is serious. I'll be here when you need me.
Soo Ah would have demanded answers. Pushed until something gave. But Piers understood the power of knowing when to step back.
Shin Jin led Noir to a private chamber deep beneath the cathedral—a space Noir hadn't known existed. The walls were lined with spiritual wards, glowing faintly with protective light. At the center was a single stone platform.
"Sit," Shin Jin instructed.
Noir obeyed, the crimson fabric still wrapped around his wrist.
Shin Jin paced in front of him, his expression thoughtful.
"I need to understand something," Shin Jin said finally. "When you attempted to access your spiritual energy yesterday, what exactly happened?"
Noir closed his eyes, recalling the sensation.
"I tried to sink inward," he said slowly. "Like you described. But instead of finding peace, I found... endless darkness. It reached for me. Tried to pull me deeper."
"Did you feel any resistance? Any barrier you could push through?"
"No. It was more like... the darkness rejected me. Like I didn't belong there."
Shin Jin went silent.
He moved to a stone chair and sat down heavily, as though the weight of something had just settled on his shoulders.
"Noir," he said quietly, "I need to tell you something that troubles me more than anything else we've discussed."
Noir's stomach tightened.
"Your inability to access your spiritual energy isn't just a barrier or a block," Shin Jin continued. "It's something else entirely."
He leaned forward, his amber eyes intense.
"In all my years—decades studying the Order's archives—I've never encountered a seer who couldn't access their spiritual being at all. Not even seers with catastrophic trauma. Not even those on the verge of complete corruption."
He paused, letting the weight of that sink in.
"Even in the darkest cases, there's always a thread. Always some pathway, no matter how thin or dangerous, that seers can use to reach inward. To touch their spiritual energy."
"But..." Noir started.
"But you," Shin Jin said, "encountered only darkness. No pathway. No thread. Nothing but consuming void that rejected you."
Shin Jin stood and began pacing again.
"I have a theory, and it's one that keeps me awake at night. I need you to listen without interrupting."
Noir nodded, though he was already afraid of what was coming.
"What if," Shin Jin said carefully, "the corruption your mother transferred to you isn't just a mark or a stain? What if it's a barrier? An actual spiritual wall so thick, so complete, that you literally cannot breach it to reach your own spiritual energy?"
He stopped in front of Noir.
"What if you're the first seer in history to be completely spiritually isolated? Locked inside your own mind with no way to channel power from your spiritual being?"
The words hung in the air like an executioner's axe.
Noir's hands began to shake.
"That would mean..." he started, his voice barely a whisper.
"That would mean," Shin Jin finished, "you can never execute a spiritual technique. Not unless that barrier somehow dissolves or transforms. You would be fundamentally different from every other seer who's ever existed."
"Different how?" Noir asked, though he already knew the answer.
"Useless," Shin Jin said bluntly. "Combat-wise, you'd be no better than a normal human. You couldn't fight rippers. Couldn't defend yourself against other seers. Couldn't execute the most basic spiritual techniques that even novice trainees learn on their first day."
He paused, letting the gravity of that sink in.
"Which raises a terrifying question: Why would Yuusha train you to be a Crimson Seer if you can't actually use any spiritual power?"
The question echoed through the chamber.
Noir felt something cold settle in his chest. It wasn't the darkness. It was something worse.
It was the realization that he was fundamentally broken in ways he'd never even considered.
"Maybe he made a mistake," Noir said, but even he could hear how hollow that sounded.
"Yuusha doesn't make mistakes," Shin Jin said flatly. "He calculated every decision before you even arrived at the Order. He knew your spiritual condition. He knew you'd chosen the Crimson Seer position. And he kept you here anyway."
He moved closer.
"Which means there's something about your situation that's valuable to him. Something he's willing to invest resources into, despite your complete inability to function as a seer."
Noir's mind spiraled.
"You think he's using me," Noir said.
"I know he is," Shin Jin replied. "The question is: what for?"
They sat in silence for a long time.
Finally, Noir spoke.
"Can it be fixed?" he asked. "The barrier. Can it be removed?"
Shin Jin was quiet for a moment.
"I don't know," he said honestly. "I've never encountered anything like this. Your case defies everything I understand about how spiritual energy works."
He sat back down, looking tired.
"But there is one possibility," he continued. "The barrier was created by trauma and corruption. Spiritual isolation caused by exposure to a Fallen seer. If there's any pathway forward, it would involve... integrating the darkness rather than resisting it."
"Integrating it?" Noir frowned. "What does that mean?"
"I'm going to ask you to do something dangerous," Shin Jin said, cutting him off. "You're going to sit there. You're going to close your eyes. And you're going to reach inward—not resisting this time. Accepting. Opening yourself completely to whatever emerges."
"You said yourself that could consume me—"
"It could," Shin Jin acknowledged. "But we need to know. And I'll be here to pull you back if necessary."
"What if I can't stop it?" Noir asked.
"Then we discover that too," Shin Jin said. "Now. Close your eyes."
There was no negotiation in his tone. This was an order.
Noir took a breath and did as instructed.
He closed his eyes.
He wrapped the crimson fabric tighter around his wrist, seeking its comfort before diving into the darkness.
And then he reached inward.