At the edge of the volcano, Mario looked at Coulson's nervous but hopeful expression and couldn't help but pat his shoulder.
"It's true, man. Why would I lie to you? You're not some hot female agent or anything. This is just friends helping friends. But as for exactly where he is right now, I'm not sure."
He organized what he knew about Captain America's fate. Steve Rogers had followed Red Skull onto that plane to stop the bastard from bombing major cities. During their final battle, Red Skull got sucked into some kind of wormhole created by the Tesseract's energy.
When Cap realized the plane was damaged and heading straight for New York, he made the ultimate sacrifice, crashed it into a glacier near the Arctic. But the impact threw him into the frozen ocean, where he'd been stuck in ice ever since.
He laid out the information for Coulson, "Because of the super-soldier serum, he's still alive. He's just waiting for someone to find him and dig his ass out."
Hearing Mario's words, Coulson's face went through about twelve different emotions at once. Normally, as a trained agent, he should've kept his cool. But learning that his idol, Captain fucking America, was still breathing? That was too much even for him.
"Can I get a cigarette?"
"This news is just..."
Coulson took the smoke Mario offered and stuck it between his lips. Mario flicked his lighter and got it going for him.
Bzzzz... Bzzzz...
A faint, rhythmic vibration came from somewhere on Coulson's body. He pulled the earpiece from his pocket and pressed it lightly.
"Director, I'm fine."
"Yeah, probably the heat. I'm standing on volcanic rock that hasn't cooled down yet."
After a few more words, he shoved the earpiece back in his pocket. From the conversation, Mario figured out that the caller had to be Nick Fury, the head of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Coulson looked at Mario. "How do you know the Captain's still alive? Or better question, why tell me this?"
"Me? I saw it on TV!" Mario said with a half-grin. "Coulson, remember, this is information I'm giving you as a friend, not as some government spook."
He wasn't worried about S.H.I.E.L.D. Hell, he wasn't even afraid of Thanos snapping his fingers, why would he sweat some government agency? Worst case scenario, he could dig straight into the Earth's core. What were they gonna do, blow up the whole planet?
Coulson took a long drag, flicked the cigarette butt away, and said seriously, "I know what I need to do. I think we should get going. I can't wait to find him."
He paused, then added, "As for the pressure from those vampire cultists, I'll try to work something out for you. But do your best not to kill the cultists themselves. After all, they're still human."
Do your best?
So basically, kill them if I want to?
Mario raised an eyebrow and smiled. With S.H.I.E.L.D. running interference for him, he could be a lot more... creative when dealing with vampires.
Can't make things too hard for Coulson. Better to turn those cultists into vampires first, then put them out of their misery.
Just as the two men were walking shoulder-to-shoulder toward the Quinjet, the air in front of them suddenly erupted with sparks. Like Fourth of July fireworks, but way more ominous. The sparks quickly spun into a perfect circle.
The moment Mario saw those sparks, his expression went from casual to "oh shit" in about half a second. He wasn't stupid, at this point in the timeline, there was only one person running around opening portals.
Coulson pulled a pistol from his waist, but Mario reached out to stop him, shaking his head. That kind of weapon would be completely useless.
The sparks formed into a proper gateway, revealing what looked like an ancient, well-appointed bedroom. Standing calmly in the doorway was a bald figure in beige robes, watching them with a smile that somehow managed to be both welcoming and terrifying.
The Ancient One herself stepped through the portal.
"Hello, visitor from another dimension," she said softly.
Hearing her words, Mario's internal panic meter spiked to eleven. This woman was, without question, the most powerful being on Earth at this point in time. If she hadn't willingly stepped down from her role, Thanos wouldn't have been shit.
"Hello, Sorcerer Supreme," Mario replied.
The Ancient One wasn't surprised at all. That faint smile stayed plastered on her face as she took another step forward. The portal behind her closed.
She looked Mario up and down, then asked, "You are very mysterious. I can see neither your past nor your future. Can you tell me your purpose in coming here?"
Facing the Ancient One, Mario felt the kind of pressure that came from standing next to a nuclear reactor. He wasn't afraid of dying, he probably could respawn again. But what if she decided to lock him away in the Mirror Dimension forever?
Wait... the Mirror Dimension? Maybe I could dig my way out of that too. Definitely have to test that sometime.
The thought actually made him relax a bit.
"I honestly don't know either. I was just at home using the bathroom, and suddenly I ended up here. Could you maybe... send me back?"
As Earth's guardian against interdimensional threats, the Ancient One had encountered countless strange "travelers" over the centuries. But someone as unpredictable as Mario, this was definitely a first.
She shook her head slightly. "I'm sorry. I cannot locate your dimension at all. I have no idea where you originated. If Captain America hadn't appeared ahead of schedule, I wouldn't have even noticed your existence."
Mario felt a stab of disappointment at her words, but he also understood why the Ancient One hadn't approached him earlier. He'd been flying under the radar of even the most powerful mystic on Earth.
So what does this powerhouse want with me? Is she planning to eliminate me as some kind of foreign contaminant?
"Why did you come to find me?"
"Since your appearance, the timeline has changed. It has diverged from the Sacred Timeline. That could lead to catastrophic consequences."
Mario felt his brain stutter for a moment. He hadn't expected the Ancient One to actually know about the Sacred Timeline. That was a surprise. In simple terms, the Sacred Timeline was basically the movie plots he'd seen before crossing over.
Breaking the Sacred Timeline meant screwing with the story.
But he knew damn well that the timeline was already fucked up beyond recognition. Otherwise, when he first arrived, the very first thing he should have encountered was the TVA showing up to prune his ass.
The conversation between the two left Coulson completely lost. Looking at the Ancient One, who had just stepped out of a literal magic portal, he moved forward and said politely, "Hello, I'm Agent Coulson from the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division. May I ask who you are?"
The Ancient One gave him a polite smile. "Hello, Agent Coulson. My name is the Ancient One."
---
Kamar-Taj was a hidden village deep in the Himalayas, also considered one of the most sacred places in the magical world. And right now, Mario was sitting in it, wondering how his life had gotten this weird.
He sat on a simple wooden stool, gazing out the window at the howling snowstorm outside. In front of him was a steaming cup of tea.
Across from him sat the Sorcerer Supreme herself, her eyes unfocused as she peered into the future through the Eye of Agamotto, which glowed with green light on her chest.
This had been going on for a while now. After he arrived at Kamar-Taj with her and they'd had a brief chat, she'd started using the Time Stone to observe possible futures.
He lifted the cup and took a sip. The tea was incredible. Even though he wasn't much of a tea drinker, he could tell this wasn't anything you could buy at a grocery store.
He'd come to Kamar-Taj at the Ancient One's invitation, and what fascinated him most was the portal spell he'd witnessed. The ability to instantly travel anywhere in the world, or beyond, was exactly what he needed.
If I could master portals, I'd never have to worry about suddenly teleporting away while using the bathroom again.
Even after several days, that initial experience still haunted him. It had become a psychological scar that he carried around like a bad tattoo.
"I cannot see."
The Ancient One's sudden voice made Mario jump, nearly spilling tea all over himself.
He quickly set down his cup. "Can't see what?"
The Ancient One looked at him. "In all possible future timelines, your presence does not exist. Even though you are sitting right in front of me, your existence is completely invisible to the Eye of Agamotto."
The Eye of Agamotto housed the Time Stone, one of the most powerful artifacts in the universe. Through it, the Ancient One could observe potential futures across the entire cosmos, seeing the ripple effects of every major decision and event. But no matter how she looked, she couldn't see Mario anywhere in the future, not even one second ahead. In her visions, the room contained only herself and a teacup floating mysteriously in mid-air where Mario should have been.
This was new territory, and she didn't know if it was a good thing or a catastrophic problem waiting to happen.
Mario, meanwhile, was completely baffled.
What does she mean she can't see me? Is the Time Stone broken or something?
He didn't take it too seriously. After all, he wasn't native to the Marvel universe, maybe the Time Stone's power simply didn't apply to him. What mattered more was whether he could learn that portal spell.
After thinking for a moment, he asked, "Um... could I perhaps learn the portal spell?"
Hearing this, the Ancient One nodded slightly. "Anyone with sufficient talent can learn. If you wish to study sorcery, you must first learn to meditate, and through your spiritual power, connect with extradimensional entities. You must gain their recognition, form the appropriate pacts, and thereby wield their magic."
Mario's face fell. "So I have to borrow power from other beings? There's no way to develop magic on my own?"
The mystical entities of the Marvel universe weren't exactly known for their generous terms of service. Every bargain came with a predetermined cost, and magical pacts had a nasty habit of involving your soul as collateral.
He wasn't the Ancient One, who could casually draw energy from the Dark Dimension every day and then beat the shit out of Dormammu when the Dark Lord came to collect. Her attitude toward borrowed power was basically: I took it fair and square, why should I give it back?
"Of course self-mastery is possible," the Ancient One replied calmly. "But for an ordinary apprentice to rely solely on their own power to cast a portal spell, it would require approximately five years of intensive study. If you are willing, I can assign someone to begin teaching you immediately."
Mario felt his chest tighten at her words. Five years just to learn basic portal magic. And that was assuming he could even manage long-distance teleportation after mastering the fundamentals. Was he seriously supposed to spend a decade or more learning magic just so he could travel to the bathroom safely?
"If you wish to accelerate your magical education, I can help you observe the multiverse..." the Ancient One said, suddenly standing up.
Without warning, she struck Mario in the chest with surprising force. The impact sent his body flying backward through the air.
In his vision, everything around him seemed to slow down, even his own movements felt like they were happening underwater. It was his first time experiencing such a strange sensation, and he understood immediately what she meant by "observing the multiverse."
Just like in the Doctor Strange movie, when Stephen Strange first began his training, the Ancient One had sent his astral form on a journey through dimensions and realities beyond human comprehension.
SMACK.
Time suddenly snapped back to normal. He landed hard on the wooden floor. He checked his health bar and saw that he'd lost a heart and a half from that single strike.
Damn, just a casual tap and it hits harder than a bullet?
He patted his backside and climbed to his feet, staring at the Ancient One.
But her expression had shifted to something much more complex.
"What's wrong? Weren't you going to let me observe the multiverse?"
"Your soul and body are one unified entity," she said slowly. "They cannot be separated. Your physical form is your spiritual essence, and your spiritual essence is your physical form. You cannot learn the sorcery of Kamar-Taj."
Hearing this, Mario wasn't worried about his unique physiology. After all, he was like Steve, it made sense that his body would be different from normal humans. What he couldn't accept was being told he couldn't learn portal magic.
The Ancient One, however, looked at him with burning curiosity. She had never encountered anyone like Mario, whose flesh and soul were perfectly integrated. If she could achieve such a state herself, perhaps her physical form would no longer be subject to decay and death.
"You need not be discouraged," she said. "I believe you have your own unique path to follow."
Hearing this, Mario suddenly came to a realization.
One day, if I get my hands on a teleportation mod with fast travel capabilities, I can go anywhere I want.
Once he thought it through properly, he felt refreshed and energized. The disappointment about being unable to learn traditional sorcery evaporated.
---
Two days later, Mario stood in Central Park wearing a black mage's robe that the Ancient One had given him as a parting gift. The mystical garment provided minor protection against magical attacks and looked pretty badass, which was always a plus.
She had just sent him back through a portal, and her expression as it closed hadn't been particularly pleasant. Mario waved goodbye anyway as the gateway dissipated into sparks.
Back in his underground base, he pulled out his new acquisition from the trip: a beautiful rosewood tea table complete with an elegant tea set. Items retrieved from his inventory appeared exactly as they had when stored, the teacup was still steaming with hot tea, as if no time had passed at all.
He took a light sip and sighed.
"Now this is the life," he said, though he couldn't help thinking it would've been even better if it were a proper espresso instead.
---
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I will reduce the update frequency because not many people are reading this. Currently, it takes me 1–1.5h to complete a chapter, which isn't worth spending my time on every day.