Chapter 144: The Upcoming Jōnin Meeting
Morning.
A heavy sense of oppression washed over Asuka as he opened his eyes and took several deep breaths. As the last traces of sleep faded, he looked down at the orange cat sprawled across his chest, drooling in its sleep.
He reached out and pinched the "spare tire" around its belly.
The corner of his mouth twitched, and a hint of nostalgia flashed through his eyes.
This cat had once been quite slender.
The first time he'd brought it home to sleep, Asuka had actually worried that he'd roll over in his sleep and crush it.
He'd been that thin.
After moving the calendar aside, Asuka got out of bed, walked over to it, stretched, and checked his schedule for the day.
A Jōnin meeting?
The man stared at his reflection in the mirror.
His originally dark pupils instantly turned blood-red.
Asuka formed a single-handed seal and pressed his palm against the floor. An extremely intricate and mysterious black pattern immediately spread outward from his palm.
"Summoning Jutsu!"
Poof!
As chakra poured into his palm, a cloud of white smoke suddenly erupted from the floor.
Asuka waved his hand, and a gust of wind swept the smoke out through the window and carried it into the distance.
At that moment, a beautiful little girl stood in the center of the room.
She had long, dark-blue hair, pale skin, blue-green magatama-shaped earrings, and a long white dress. A green magatama ornament rested against her chest.
She slowly raised her head and looked at Asuka.
Her golden pupils instantly turned blood-red, and a strange, intricate pattern slowly began rotating within them.
After placing instant noodles, cold milk, and fried chicken on the table, Asuka waved at the motionless Ichikishimahime.
"Ichikishimahime, come eat."
Her body trembled.
Then she mechanically walked over to the table, picked up a fork, and began wolfing down the food.
Asuka brushed his teeth while staring at Ichikishimahime's gradually bulging stomach.
He couldn't help giving himself a thumbs-up inwardly.
"At this rate, her slim figure will be a thing of the past in less than half a year."
Gulp, gulp. Gulp, gulp.
When he watched her finish every last drop of the soup, Asuka clapped his hands.
"Release!"
In an instant, the Mangekyō Sharingan disappeared from Ichikishimahime's eyes, revealing her dark-blue pupils once again.
"Hm?"
She looked at Asuka sitting opposite her with a trace of confusion.
Then she glanced at the empty plates on the table.
The warm, domestic atmosphere made her vaguely uneasy.
But what made her even more uneasy was—
Ichikishimahime smacked her lips.
The greasy taste of fried chicken immediately surged through her mouth and straight into her head.
She looked at the empty fried-chicken bucket and smacked her lips again.
Then she tasted the milk lingering in her mouth.
"Burp."
The sound of her belch made Asuka wave his hand in disgust.
Her dark-blue eyes instantly transformed into golden vertical pupils.
Sharp fangs and a pink tongue appeared at the same time.
"You… you… what did you make me eat?!"
Asuka pointed toward the food on the table.
"There isn't much to eat in Ryūchi Cave. I was worried you'd go hungry, so I summoned you over for breakfast."
"Heh~"
Several black lines appeared on Ichikishimahime's forehead.
She stood up, walked over to Asuka, placed both hands on his shoulders, and spoke with a painfully full stomach.
"Should I—burp—praise you—burp—for this?"
Sensing the hostility in her voice, Asuka raised his right hand.
His index and middle fingers were held together while the remaining three fingers curled into his palm.
He smiled.
"Release!"
Poof!
Another cloud of white smoke filled the room.
When Ichikishimahime disappeared, Asuka rested his elbow on the table and shook his head.
"This summoning contract is a little unfair."
No wonder that Nine-Tails dared to confront the Great Buddha head-on.
He summoned Ichikishimahime again.
Seeing her gloomy expression, he pointed toward the food that had reappeared on the table.
"There isn't much to eat in Ryūchi Cave. I was worried you'd go hungry, so I summoned you over for breakfast."
Did she just hear those exact words before?
Hearing the familiar sentence and seeing the food that had reappeared on the table, Ichikishimahime's eyes became vacant.
Then she revealed her fangs and claws and lunged at Asuka.
"If you've got the guts, stop controlling me! Today we'll see whether I can bite you to death!"
Asuka blinked.
The Mangekyō Sharingan appeared in his eyes once again.
SCREECH!
The sound of tires screeching to a halt rang through the room.
Ichikishimahime stared at the Mangekyō Sharingan only inches from her face.
Her expression instantly went pale.
Last night, when she'd returned to seek out the Sage, she'd asked for help breaking her contract with Asuka.
And then—
The Sage had taken the matter extremely seriously.
After consulting several ancient texts, she had found a method for breaking the contract.
However, the method required the cooperation of another person.
So she had taken the ancient book given to her by the Sage and found her companion, Tanrihime, asking her to follow the method recorded inside and help break this hateful contract.
And then—
That foolish old woman had worked through the entire night.
Not only had she failed to break the contract, she'd somehow made it even stronger.
This time, even the Sage found the situation somewhat troublesome and told them to wait.
That old witch's meddling was infuriating.
Thinking about it, Ichikishimahime floated in front of Asuka and gave an angry snort.
"I am extremely angry. And when I'm angry, I want to die."
"Sigh. Isn't living better?"
As he spoke, Asuka picked up a book from the table and casually flipped through several pages.
His eyes suddenly lit up.
Then he rephrased his words.
"What joy is there in life? What suffering is there in death?"
"Actually, death isn't that frightening."
Ichikishimahime floated above Asuka's head.
She looked down at the book in his hands and muttered,
108 Little Tricks for Kidney Health: How Snake Meat Strengthens the Kidneys.
After reading the title, her expression instantly darkened.
She grabbed Asuka by the neck with both hands and furiously shook him.
"I'M ALREADY DEAD! You idiots drove me to death!"
"You actually want to use my delicate body to nourish your kidneys?!"
Asuka closed the book, placed it on his lap, and raised his eyes toward the floating Ichikishimahime.
In an elegant tone, he said,
"When we were alive, we knew and cherished each other. After death, our souls shall depend upon one another."
Ichikishimahime froze.
Although she hadn't exactly excelled academically, she'd read plenty of novels written in plain language.
That sounded suspiciously like something the male lead in a tragic romance would say to the heroine.
After a moment of silence, she slowly released her grip around Asuka's neck.
"I don't really understand."
"Sigh."
Asuka sighed and stood up.
He pointed toward his waist.
"It means that after you die, I'll eat you to nourish my kidneys. Then we'll be able to fight side by side again!"
Ichikishimahime's expression immediately darkened.
What he said sounded so beautiful.
But what exactly does "fight side by side" mean?
Does he still intend to use me to strengthen his kidneys?
Watching her tremble with rage as her expression twisted further and further, Asuka popped a piece of candy into his mouth.
He put on his flak jacket and waved over his shoulder.
"Ichikishimahime, you're a little fairy. You can't let your immortal aura leak out."
Immortal aura?
She instinctively breathed onto her palm and sniffed.
All she could smell was instant noodles.
Her voice immediately became shrill.
"What immortal aura?!"
"My mouth smells like seafood-flavored instant noodles!"
"Uchiha Asuka! Today, only one of us is walking away alive!"
Poof!
Before she could finish speaking, a cloud of white smoke rose from the center of the room.
Asuka looked at the smoke behind him and shook his head.
"I'm a little busy today. We'll talk tomorrow."
By the time he reached the meeting hall, many Jōnin were already seated.
The distinction between civilian shinobi and clan shinobi was obvious, while the differences between the various clans were even more pronounced.
The Uchiha were especially distinctive.
Looking at the clan's Jōnin sitting in the corner with their unusually cold expressions, Asuka couldn't help sighing inwardly.
Where did all the lively atmosphere from the clan meetings go?
He walked over to the Uchiha group.
"Everyone, have you eaten?"
The men looked up at Asuka.
The corners of their mouths twitched.
One of them crossed his arms and spoke coldly.
"Today's meeting is a Jōnin meeting, not a competition to see who eats the most or talks the most. Everyone has an equal amount of time to speak."
???
Asuka stared at him in confusion.
"Old Matto, seriously, are we actually going to discuss anything? What constructive opinions can the Uchiha possibly offer?"
Uchiha Madō's aged face darkened.
He clenched his teeth.
"Who says we can't offer constructive opinions?"
"Heh."
The corner of Asuka's mouth twitched.
If these clan members can't even come up with anything worth discussing during their own clan meetings, what exactly are they going to discuss at a Jōnin meeting?
The village only held large-scale meetings when dealing with trivial matters.
Important matters were usually discussed privately by Minato and the others.
And besides…
Asuka recalled the previous meetings and glanced toward the old man beside him.
At the previous large-scale meeting, this old man had apparently proposed quite a few suggestions.
Danzo had rejected every single one.
The incident had made the old man so angry that he hadn't eaten for two whole days.