My name is Sabuko.
I. Am an absolute. Degenerate.
I quit my job and burned through my savings just to maintain a carefree lifestyle, sitting at home, writing and dreaming my fantasies' guts out.
One day, my landlords entered my apartment unlawfully, and found all my sex stuff.
Since I didn't have lots of money left to sue, I accepted getting kicked out. They also told my parents about me. And instead of siding with their son, they didn't let me back home as well due to how disgusted they were, and agreed with the landlords about how fucked up I was.
I figured I should just jump. That there was nothing left to live for, anymore.
So I did, right before I was supposed to move into a homeless shelter. I was 25, and weighing over 500 pounds. Bet I looked like one of those stretchy fat gummy toys after I hit the ground.
I died alone as you'd expect from a fat, ugly, depraved bastard like me.
My only regret, if you can even call it that, was that I never got to experience what I fantasized about.
What did I fantasize about, you ask?
Getting railed. Absolutely destroyed.
By hundreds of fox-girls domme mommies with huge cocks while I'm a petite girl pretending not to love every minute of it.
Yeah. It's fucked up. Whatever.
I'm already dead, though.
So fuck it.
God, I'mma be the selfish bastard I always was, so listen up. I want you to give me a second chance in life, and give me the sex dreams that everyone were disgusted from in my old life.
I ALSO don't wanna work for it. I wanna be handed it. Handed the best possible hand. I want a domme mommy fox girl harem. I want to be a petite girl who gets absolutely wrecked, daily, lovingly, brutally... DEMOLISHED and creampied.
Without the hardship.
I played your stupid game once. It sucked. If you're giving me another life, I want the fucking cheat codes.
Thanks.
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"Sabuko!" a voice called out.
'Hrm... What?' Sabuko thought, blinking himself awake.
'Vision blurry... I... I'm pretty sure I died...' he muttered in his head, squinting through the fog. 'Alright. Give me the hell I was destined for.'
"SABUKO!" He was slapped on the head.
"Wha... What—" He swiftly looked to the right.
"What are you doing, man? You fell asleep during class again! It's the Genin exams starting! You're missing it!" a kid whispered beside him with a frown.
'A kid...? What's with the getup?' Sabuko thought as he scrutinized the boy next to him, confused. 'Is this kid in hell too?'
"Missing..?" Sabuko asked, voice raspy from sleep.
"Yeah, yeah! That good-for-nothing Naruto's about to make a fool of himself now..."
"Ahh... I see..." Sabuko yawned.
'Wait, what?!'
His vision cleared, and he looked ahead to the front of the classroom.
'N... No... No way, right?' His eyes widened in disbelief.
Right there. Clear as day.
The one and only.
"Naruto...!?" he muttered aloud, gasping.
"Shhh! Keep your voice down! He's about to do the Transformation Jutsu!" the kid beside him whispered.
'The Transformation... Wait... This... Doesn't this happen in... literally the first episode of Naruto? Where he fails to make an illusion clone? The lesser version of Kage Bunshin. Right... I remember this... Vaguely. He failed this bad.'
'Anyway... man. If this isn't my brain's last eight minutes before I fade into darkness... then I've reincarnated into Naruto. Actually Naruto!?'
He glanced upward and blinked once.
'I deserved hell, didn't I? What is this? Is this some sick joke or some purgatory before going to hell?'
His eyes scanned the classroom. At the front, he saw all the stars from the show he loved as a kid.
Hinata, looking down and blushing whenever Naruto was mentioned. Sasuke with his smug, brooding attitude. Sakura sitting straight and proper. And Naruto himself, standing between Ino and Shikamaru.
'Man... Imagine having a girl like Hinata that is that down bad for you from childhood to adulthood. I always hated how lucky he was. But at the same time, I liked how he smacked elitists in the face.' Sabuko sighed, his gaze settling on Iruka.
"Next up, Naruto Uzumaki!" Iruka called out.
'Either way, on the zero chance I'm actually here to stay... God, if you wanted to give me what I asked for... This ain't it, despite how cool it might be. If I'm just some random background character, best case I end up with basic jutsus and live a boring chunin life that I'll have to work for. I wanted a life of pleasure handed to me on a silver platter... Not this.' He sighed again.
Shikamaru muttered, "This is a total waste of time, Naruto."
Ino scoffed, "We always pay for your screw-ups."
Naruto grinned, "Like I care."
'They're really loud…' Sabuko thought, watching Naruto step confidently to the front of the room.
Naruto shifted into stance, forming the three handsigns required for the jutsu.
'Here it is...' Sabuko leaned forward against his elbow. Bored.
Naruto shouted, "TRANSFORMATION!"
A cloud of smoke burst around him, completely engulfing his body.
'... Oh. Right. He didn't do a bunshin jutsu here... This is the transformation technique. I forgot... what did he transfor—'
"...Oh."
The smoke cleared.
Standing in Naruto's place was a tall, busty blonde girl. Completely naked, with smoke barely covering the essentials.
Iruka immediately recoiled in embarrassment.
"OH." Sabuko gasped, watching the entire class sigh in unison.
Well, all except him.
'...God.' he thought, as Naruto transformed back, cackling at Iruka's flustered face.
Naruto laughed, "Gotcha! That's my Sexy Jutsu!"
'Forget what I said earlier. The Naruto-verse…'
Iruka snapped, "Cut the stupid tricks! This is your last warning!"
'...is the BEST place you could've sent me to...!' A wicked grin crept across his face.
"Dude...? You're creeping me out," the kid next to Sabuko muttered.
"Ah," Sabuko blinked and turned to him. "Naruto's kinda funny, that's all."
"Oh... Uh. I see. Alright. Anyway, tomorrow's the Bunshin Jutsu exam. You ready for that...? You can't skip it, you know."
"Oh... don't worry," Sabuko replied, voice low. "More than ready."
"...Riiiiiiiiiightttttttttttt."
"By the way," He drew his attention, "I seem to have completely lost my memory. Can you teach me how to do the Clone Jutsu, Transformation, and Basic chakra stuff; also my full name and where I live and parents if any?"
".... HAAAAAAAAAAAH..!??!"